


Durin's Sons: Scrapbook

by butterflyslinky, Lady_Sci_Fi



Series: Durin's Sons (a rock band au) [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 108,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sci_Fi/pseuds/Lady_Sci_Fi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short stories of the childhood years of the band members.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Neighbors

**Author's Note:**

> Prequel to Durin's Sons. More a collection of one-shots than one narrative, though the stories are consecutive. No promises of a posting schedule on this one, but will attempt to keep it regular.

_1995_

In any close-knit neighborhood, there is a hierarchy that everyone must learn. And at the top of every hierarchy, there is one person to make sure everything runs smoothly.

In this particular neighborhood in Saint Paul, that person was Dis Oakenshield Durin.

There had never been any question of that, ever since she had arrived in the city six years before with her brother, husband, and several cousins in tow and basically bought the entire street. The fact that most of her extended, if very distant family, lived there and knew she liked being in charge helped.

The fact that they were all starting from practically rock bottom didn’t hurt.

But whatever the reason, Dis was the person in charge, and in spite of all their current difficulties, everyone turned to her whenever something was happening.

So she wasn’t really surprised when Eileen Scriver came into the house one summer morning, her son clinging to her hand. (No one ever knocked on doors in their neighborhood. If there was a knock, it was either a salesperson or social services and it was unlikely that there would be an answer.)

“The big house sold,” she said without preamble. 

“Good morning to you, too,” Dis said, looking up from her paper. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Eileen said. “The boys in the back?”

“Where else? I think they’re slaying a dragon today…well, Fili is.”

“Nori, go and play,” Eileen said, and Nori shot out the door as Eileen sat down and accepted the cup of coffee. 

“So they’ve sold it?” Dis asked. “That’s a miracle.”

Eileen rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Dis. It’s not actually haunted.”

“Know who bought it?”

“Haven’t seen Gloin yet, but I’m sure we’ll know soon. Has to close pretty soon.”

“Wonder what the offer was. Must have been a steal.”

“After more than five years on the market, I’d think so.” Eileen frowned at her coffee cup. “Unless it got bought up by a developer. Or is getting turned into an apartment building.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard to stop that,” Dis said with a smirk. “I’m sure the boys will drive off any of those.”

“Being sold sight unseen for sure,” Eileen said. “Haven’t seen anyone go in or out recently.”

Dis groaned. “Most likely a developer. See if you can catch Gloin and find out.”

“I plan to…or Marnie might have more information, you know how she gets everywhere.”

“What’s Marnie know about real estate?”

“Not much, but the realtor goes into the shop for tune-ups often and you know how he talks.”

“Maybe have them both over. Kill two birds with one stone.”

Eileen laughed. “I don’t think a few questions about real estate are going to get them together any faster.”

“Might help if Gloin realizes Marnie shares some interests with him. And if he could stop breaking minor engine parts just to see her.”

“Might help if you kept your nose out of it and just let things happen.”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “And when have I ever done that?” she asked.

Eileen rolled her eyes. “You’re the worst, Dis.”

“I believe you mean best.”

*

The new family moved in a month later. So far, the information on them was thin—one family, Irish, with children. Not much to go on, but at least Dis had some expectations. And it wasn’t a developer, which already endeared whoever was moving in to her.

It wasn’t hard to spot when the new family moved in. Dis had been watching the house like a hawk from the moment Eileen told her it was sold. So had everyone else on the street—they had a dynamic and new people would upset that in some way. 

So Dis was peering out her front window when the moving truck pulled up, followed by a smaller car. She watched as a man and two women stepped out, followed by three children, one significantly older than the others. She couldn’t tell much more at this distance, but she watched avidly as their belongings were unloaded and taken into the house.

She didn’t waste time after that, but moved into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the fridge. If there was going to be an upset in the dynamics around here, she wanted to know as quickly as possible.

Fili wandered into the kitchen as she was mixing ingredients, Kili clinging to his shirt to help him toddle after. “What you makin’, Mama?” Fili asked, trying to see up to the counter.

“I’m making a casserole for the new neighbors,” Dis answered. “What are you up to?”

“Can we go play with Nori?” Fili asked.

Dis sighed. She was hesitant to simply turn her babies loose on the street, but it wasn’t very busy and the Scrivers lived just next door. “All right, but be good and look after your brother.”

“Yes, Mama.” Dis made sure they both had their shoes on and walked them to the door. She watched them through the window until they reached their destination, then went back to work. At least they wouldn’t be underfoot while she was working.

Eileen came in as she put the dish in the oven. Dis raised her eyebrows. “Aren’t there three very small children in your house?”

“Not technically,” Eileen said. “They’re outside and Dori’s keeping an eye on them.” She sat down at the table and leaned across it eagerly. “So…observations?”

“Two women, one man,” Dis said. “Not sure what the deal is there…two little ones and a teenager. Nothing extraordinary going into the house. Seem normal.”

“So which casserole you giving them?”

“Whichever one I had the ingredients for.” Dis moved over and started pouring coffee. “You notice anything?”

“Not really, Nori was being extra rambunctious this morning. Hopefully Fili and Kili will wear him out.”

“Right.” Dis sighed. “Suppose we’ll find out…you coming with me when I go over?”

“Already baked the traditional welcome-to-hell cake,” Eileen said. “I was just waiting for you, don’t want to take them on alone.”

“Can’t be all bad,” Dis said. 

“Even so,” Eileen said. “You’re the boss.”

*

Betsy Mattocks swore that she would never again move a teenager and two small children across the Atlantic.

Not that her sons and nephew weren’t a delight, but nearly twenty hours of travel, including moving all of their worldly possessions halfway across the world and dealing with immigration and real estate and everything else, all three were way too rambunctious and unhelpful and Betsy was at her wit’s end.

It did not help that her husband had already gone off to his new job and her sister was at the grocery store, leaving her to look after all three boys and get the house organized.

Naturally, that was not happening. There were still boxes everywhere, most of the furniture had just been shoved where it fit, and very little effort to actually unpacking had been made. Oh, Bifur was being as helpful as he could be, the dear boy, but mostly his version of helpful was keeping his younger cousins out of trouble. Betsy hated for her new home to be in such a state, but there was little she could do to fix it until her husband and sister came home.

And her sons would not stop being a bother.

“Bofur, stop teasin’ yer brother!” Betsy called for the fifth time as little Bombur’s lip began to tremble.

“Sorry, Ma,” Bofur called with no real repentance. He was only five and Betsy didn’t expect more, but really, that boy was far more trouble than he was worth sometimes.

She was about ready to confine all three boys to their rooms when there was a knock on the door. Betsy looked up fearfully, but she had no choice but to answer it.

On the other side were two women, one stocky and dark-haired, the other taller with dull red-brown hair. Both were young, little younger than Betsy herself, and both were holding covered dishes and wearing polite smiles that Betsy knew would either turn into honest smiles or even politer ones depending on what she said.

“Good morning,” the dark-haired one said. Her accent was English, but it was clear she’d been living in America for a while. “I’m Dis Durin, I live across the street, and this is my neighbor, Eileen Scriver.”

“Betsy Mattocks,” Betsy said, a bit unnerved. “Um…please, come in…I’m afraid the house is a bit of a mess, but…”

“Oh, we understand,” Mrs. Scriver said, following Mrs. Durin into the house. Both followed Betsy into the kitchen, where they surrendered their dishes.

“Moving day is always crazy,” Mrs. Durin said. “That’s why we brought food over. Hard enough to move children without having to cook a full meal.”

Betsy smiled a bit. “It is,” she agreed. “Especially over the distance we came. And especially when two of them are small.” She glanced toward the doorway to the living room, where Bofur and Bombur had poked their little heads around the corner.

Both of the other women smiled wider at the children. “Hello, there,” Mrs. Scriver said gently. “And what are your names?”

Bombur just stuck his thumb in his mouth and stared up at her with wide eyes. Bofur glanced at his mother questioningly and Betsy nodded. “Bofur,” he said. “And my brother is Bombur.”

“I have a boy about your age,” Mrs. Scriver said.

“And mine are just a little younger,” Mrs. Durin added. “They’re all playing across the street…”

“Is the street safe?” Betsy asked in trepidation.

“Usually,” Mrs. Durin said. “Only traffic is when the working ones come in and out or when we have to run to the super…I’m sure the boys would love to meet new friends.”

“And don’t you worry about supervision,” Mrs. Scriver said. “My step-son is home from college and loves babysitting.”

Betsy sighed. It would be a relief to have the boys out of the house. “Bifur!” she called.

“Yes, Aunt Betsy?” Bifur came bounding down the stairs at once.

“Can you take the lads outside?” She moved to make coffee. It was clear that the other women weren’t leaving any time soon.

“Yeah.” Bifur held out his hands. “Come on, boys, let’s see what trouble we can get into!”

Bofur laughed and grabbed Bifur’s hand. Bombur took the other and Bifur led both boys outside. Betsy watched them go with a smile.

“Your nephew?” Mrs. Durin asked, also watching Bifur leave.

“My sister’s boy, yes,” Betsy answered. “They came with us…wanted a new life.” She hoped that she wouldn’t have to answer too many more questions. It wasn’t her place.

Mrs. Durin nodded and Mrs. Scriver smirked a bit and Betsy had the feeling that these women would have the full story out of her soon enough. 

*

Bifur hadn’t been entirely sure where his aunt wanted him to take his unruly little cousins beyond out of the way, but the question was quickly answered when he heard the shrieks of more small children and the pitter-patter of tiny feet. Glancing across the street, he quickly spotted three little boys running around the sidewalks and yards, supervised by a young man sitting on a porch step.

Bifur hesitated a moment, but then what looked like the oldest of the boys, a stocky little fellow with short brown hair, spotted them and grinned. “Hi!” he called enthusiastically, dashing across the street.

The young man was immediately on his feet. “Nori!” he called. “You know you’re not supposed to run into the street without a grown-up!”

The boy, Nori, rolled his eyes and continued to trot over. He stopped in front of Bofur, grinning widely. “Hi!” he repeated.

“Hi!” Bofur said back, grinning just as much. “I’m Bofur!”

“I’m Nori.” Nori kept smiling. “You wanna come play with us?”

Bofur glanced at Bifur, then at Bombur. “Can my brother come too?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Nori said. “We let Kili play and he’s littler than that.”

The young man caught up. “Sorry,” he said to Bifur. “He’s a bit of a handful.”

“It’s okay,” Bifur said. “I think my aunt meant for us to go over there…if you don’t mind having two more.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” the young man said. “Dori Scriver. And this is my little brother Nori.”

“Bifur Smith,” Bifur said. “And these are my cousins, Bofur and Bombur.”

The other two little boys came across the street just then, the smaller one clinging to the other’s shirt. “Dori!” the older one, with wild blond hair whined. “You can’t just leave us there!”

Dori sighed. “Come on, then,” he said. “Let’s all go back across the street together.” He reached down and took the blond boy’s hand.

Bifur and Dori guided all five boys across the street to a large yard, where various toys were strewn about. Bofur and Nori were both chattering excitedly, and the blond boy, who Nori called Fili, would join in now and then. The smaller boy, Kili, didn’t say much, but he clung to his brother like a lifeline and looked at Bifur with wide brown eyes.

“Is he shy?” Bifur asked Dori, nodding to Kili.

“Not at all,” Dori said. “He just doesn’t talk much yet. He’s only two after all.”

“Just wondered,” Bifur said. “Bombur doesn’t talk to strangers at all if he can help it.”

Dori sighed. “I wish Nori had that much restraint,” he muttered. “But he hasn’t learned to be cautious…gets in so much trouble, I swear his mother is going to be grey-haired before she’s thirty.”

“So he’s your...?”

“Half-brother,” Dori said with a nod. “But he’s still my responsibility…at least, I feel he is.”

Bifur nodded in understanding. “I feel the same about my cousins,” he said.

The boys, meanwhile, were all chasing each other around enthusiastically. Even little Bombur had joined in, trying to keep up on his chubby little legs and without the benefit of clinging to his brother’s shirt. Bifur watched the boys called Fili and Kili for a moment.

“Dis Durin’s boys,” Dori explained. “They live next door and are devoted to each other…I don’t think Kili’s ever taken a step without Fili’s help.”

“I can see that,” Bifur said. “Fili seems very patient with him.”

Dori shrugged. “Hard not to be patient with the child who’s only word is your name.”

Indeed, a few minutes into their game, Kili lost his grip on Fili’s shirt and fell to the ground. He didn’t cry, but he did call out “Fi!” a bit desperately, which brought Fili running back to put him back on his feet. The look Kili gave him was that of pure, needy worship. It was rather adorable.

The children ran around for the rest of the morning. Around noon, Dis, Betsy, and Eileen all came out of the house and crossed the street, talking as though they’d all been friends for years. Dori smirked. It never failed.

*

“We’re hosting a block party next week,” Dis announced over dinner that night.

Vili, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin all looked up at her in alarm. “What?” Thorin asked.

“New neighbors. New neighbors mean new friends. New friends mean we need to introduce them. Quid pro quo, block party.” Dis smiled sweetly at them. “Unless you all have something incredibly urgent to deal with next week?”

“Well, no,” Balin said. “But that’s a bit short-notice, isn’t it? I mean, how are you going to get the entire block ready in only a week?”

Dis rolled her eyes. “Oh, please,” she said. “I’ve organized larger and more glamorous events in less time than that.”

“But that was with unlimited funds,” Dwalin pointed out. “And far less children.”

Dis glanced at her children, who were sitting quietly and looking at the adults with such adorably wide-eyed faces that no reasonable person could ever call them anything but perfect angels, especially when, right on cue, Kili called out a plaintive little “Fi” and Fili instantly passed him a cup of apple juice.

“I think we’ll be all right,” she said.

Vili snorted. “I think you’re being set-up.”

Thorin studied his sister carefully for a moment. “Fine,” he said. “What do you need us to do?”

*

The trouble with grownups was that they never did things that made sense and Fili couldn’t understand them at all. All he understood about the current situation was that there were new kids to play with, new kids who were funny and liked him and Kili. What else was there to understand?

But Mama seemed to think there was more to it, which was why the next week found Fili wandering around the large backyard, his brother attached to him as usual, watching as his aunts and uncles set up tables and put out lots of food and shouted at each other and didn’t pay the children too much attention.

Fili watched the activity for a while before he went off to find Nori, pulling Kili with him. Some people thought it looked awkward, seeing as Kili wasn’t really too much smaller than Fili, but Fili never really noticed anymore. It had been this way for almost a year, ever since Kili had first pulled himself onto his feet and fallen when he tried to step. Fili, always in-tune to what his brother needed, had instantly gone over to help, and Kili had not let go of him ever since. Fili had adjusted his walk, leaning forward to offset the weight his brother added, and now they could run at full speed together without mishap.

Most of the time, anyway.

But there were so many people and all of them were so big and it was all Fili could do to make sure neither he nor his brother were stepped on as they toddled across the yard, stopping now and then to inspect whatever was happening. Well, Fili was inspecting. Kili just held on and looked at people with puppy-dog eyes in the hopes they would give him food.

By the time they finally found Nori, along with Bofur and Bombur, Kili was shaking like a hummingbird from the amount of sugar he’s managed to con out of unsuspecting adults. Fili had adjusted accordingly, not letting his brother’s energy deter him from his goal. The other boys sat on the ground, chattering about which adults to play tricks on first. Nori grinned when he spotted Fili and waved him over.

Fili detached Kili gently and sat down. Kili sat beside him, still buzzing with unspoken energy and pouting a bit. “Fi!” he whined.

“Hush, Ki,” Fili said. “We’ll move again soon.” He looked to the others. “So what we gonna do?”

“Bofur knows knots!” Nori said excitedly.

Fili’s eyes lit up immediately. None of them had learned to tie anything properly yet, though Fili was working very hard to learn. “So you can do up shoes?” he asked.

“Uhhuh,” Bofur said with a nod. “And sometimes I can tie Bifur’s together!”

Nori was grinning widely. “Can you show us?” he asked.

Bofur grinned right back. “Come on!” he said. “We’re little, they won’t notice us!”

“And if they do, they’ll all look at Kili,” Fili added. “Cause he’s cute.”

The boys all got up, Kili grabbing on for support and Bofur helping Bombur to his feet. They all moved off innocently, looking around with wide eyes for a pair of shoes loosely tied enough for them.

Of course, they were too busy examining the feet that they didn’t much care who they belonged to, so when they finally spotted loose enough shoelaces, none of them noticed which unlucky person was going to bear the brunt of this. Bofur darted over, the others keeping a believable distance but watching avidly as Bofur managed to take the laces and tie a rather impressive knot for chubby five-year-old fingers. The grownups were all too busy talking to even look down as Bofur wandered off, innocent as ever. It was only then that Fili glanced up and realized that they were going to be in very big trouble.

“Oh,” he whispered and Bofur rejoined them.

“What?” Bofur asked, smiling a bit.

Nori looked over the moon. “You got Uncle Thorin!” he whispered, a bit too loud.

“Run,” Fili whispered.

They all took off, giggling.

*

Balin wasn’t stupid, nor was he blind. He had been an older brother for far longer than he’d like to think about and had grown accustomed to spotting mischief at an early age. Heck, he’d been involved in mischief a few times himself.

So when he spotted the five small boys scampering off and giggling, he knew that something was about to go very, very wrong and there would need to be some sort of interference before Dis’s latest soiree was ruined.

Of course, with his experience, it did not take long for Balin to spot exactly what had happened, especially since all of the participants were under the age of six and therefore closer to ground than sky. He sighed to himself, shaking his head at how clichéd it was before starting to walk over and alert Thorin to what was about to happen.

Unfortunately, he did not get there before Thorin turned far too quickly when Dis called his name and promptly fell flat on his face.

There was a moment of shocked silence, during which Balin picked up the sounds of hastily muffled giggles coming from the children, before Betsy Mattocks hurried over, apologies already falling from her lips, marking this as a common occurrence. Balin sighed, debating with himself for a moment, before heading over to where the boys were clustered, trying to look innocent and failing at it.

He knelt down in front of them, doing his absolute best not to be taken in by how big all of their eyes were. “Hello, boys,” he said gently.

“Hello, Cousin,” Fili said, looking up sweetly, Kili clinging to him with one hand and putting his spare thumb in his mouth.

“Is everything okay, Mr. Balin?” Nori asked innocently.

“Mostly,” Balin said, ignoring the commotion behind him as Dis tried to reassure Mrs. Mattocks that everything was fine while barely containing her own laughter. “But I did notice that Thorin’s shoes had somehow been tied together.”

“Maybe he’s just clumsy!” the dark haired Mattocks boy said with a smile. What was his name? Bofur? That sounded right.

Balin raised his eyebrows. “I’ve known Thorin all his life,” he said. “And he’s never been clumsy. And he’s certainly never tied his own shoes together by accident.”

The boys all shuffled uncomfortably under Balin’s stern gaze. Even Kili looked a little bit ashamed, even though he couldn’t possibly understand what was going on, not really.

“Now,” Balin said. “Of course, I’m not any of your parents, but I really think that an apology is in order. Thorin has quite enough to deal with today without hurting himself, wouldn’t you agree?”

Fili was the first to nod, looking like he might start to cry. Balin did feel a bit bad about it, but he couldn’t back down.

“Good,” Balin said. “Come on, all of you.” He led them back over to where Thorin had managed to disentangle himself, though he still looked fairly angry. “Thorin, I think the boys have something to say to you.”

Thorin looked down at the five little boys, all of whom looked like the guilt of the entire world was pressing down on them. None of them looked at him for a good minute until Balin gave them another stern look.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Thorin,” Bofur finally mumbled. His eyes were almost as large as Kili’s by now.

Fili and Nori nodded, both looking very, very upset. Balin tried not to feel too proud of himself.

Thorin glared down at them for a moment before his face softened. “Apology accepted,” he said. “Please don’t do it again. It’s quite difficult to get grass stains out of jeans.”

“Okay,” the older boys said.

“Come along, now,” Balin said. “Who wants to hear a story?”

Fili and Nori’s faces lit up again and all five boys willingly followed Balin over to a table.

*

Thorin tried not to be too grumpy when around new people, especially children.

It was a bit difficult for him, to be sure. He was usually grumpy these days, especially when he couldn’t be sure if the people he was meeting would mention topics he didn’t want to talk about. But when Dis went back into Fabulous Hostess Mode, Thorin had no choice but to grin and bear it.

Still, he was very glad when Balin swooped in to handle the unruly children. If he hadn’t, Thorin probably would have ended up shouting quite a lot and making Dis stop speaking to him for weeks on end. Again.

And it wasn’t like he could have stayed angry for too long, anyway. Thorin didn’t know how, but Fili and Kili had both managed to perfect a puppy dog look that could melt even the hardest of hearts, and the other three boys weren’t far behind in that department. So Thorin was able to go from “extremely pissed off” to “mildly irritated” fairly quickly, even as Mrs. Mattocks continued apologizing for her son’s antics, and hoped that he could continue to be gracious long enough for Dis to stay happy.

Vili wandered over to him, smirking a bit. “Sorry about the boys,” he muttered, though Thorin knew he wasn’t, not really. That was all right, though.

“They’re young,” Thorin said. “I’m sure they’ll grow out of it.”

Vili snorted. “You do know their mom, right?” he joked. “If anything, they’ll be even worse!”

“Ah, yes,” Thorin said. “Can’t rely on them to inherit their father’s calm, mellow nature, can we?”

“Kili might,” Vili admitted. “Too soon to say.” He looked over at his sons fondly. “I am glad they’re friends, though.”

“They are now,” Thorin said. “Wait until they hit puberty. I don’t recall getting along with Dis well after that.”

“Yeah, but…” Vili trailed off, clearly struggling to say something kind. “Well, you’ve made up now.”

Thorin sighed softly. “We have,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t bring back the time we lost. I don’t want them to go through that.”

“They won’t,” Vili said firmly. “They aren’t…they’re not like that.”

Thorin nodded, and hoped that his brother-in-law was right.

*

The sun was low and the fireflies were starting to blink into sight when everyone started wandering off. Dwalin was thinking in the direction of bed when he noticed Mrs. Mattocks looking around frantically.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” Dwalin asked kindly. He didn’t know the woman very well, but he recognized the look of an over-stressed mother when he saw it.

Mrs. Mattocks looked rather intimidated by the large man with a Mohawk and tattoos, but she quickly schooled her expression. “My Bofur’s missing,” she admitted. “I can’t see him anywhere and I’m afraid he’s getting into more trouble.”

“Nori as well,” Eileen added, suddenly appearing beside Dwalin. “Dwalin, if you could…”

“Give me ten minutes,” he said. He smiled at Mrs. Mattocks as kindly as he could before setting off. She did not look reassured.

There weren’t too many places where two small boys could hide in that area and while Dwalin knew Nori was slippery, he was certain that they couldn’t have gone too far. At least, not without someone noticing.

It really didn’t take that long. Dwalin kept his eyes to the ground, followed his instincts, and soon found both boys, curled up under a table and fast asleep. He smiled a bit at how close the boys already seemed, in spite of only knowing each other for a few days, and just how adorable they were when asleep. He was almost loathe to wake them.

But he didn’t have much choice, unless he wanted to try and carry them both, which didn’t sound like a good plan. So he knelt down and reached under the table. “Hey,” he said, soft but loud enough. “Time to wake up, boys.”

They stirred a bit. Bofur was the first to open his eyes, which immediately widened upon seeing Dwalin. He nudged Nori, looking a bit scared.

Nori woke and sat up. He smiled when he saw Dwalin. “That’s Mr. Dwalin,” he whispered, a bit too loudly. “He’s nice.”

Bofur looked mildly reassured, though not entirely comfortable.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Dwalin said in the softest voice he could manage. “But your mothers are looking for you.”

The boys sighed sadly, but crawled out from under the table and followed Dwalin back to where their mothers were waiting. 

“Thank you,” Eileen said, holding her hand out. Nori ran over and took it. “Well, I’m sure we’ll see you again soon, Betsy.”

“I think so,” Mrs. Mattocks agreed. “The boys seem to like each other.” She looked down at Bofur, who was swaying sleepily. “But right now, I think they need to be in bed.”

“Agreed,” Eileen said. “Good night.” She led Nori off and Mrs. Mattocks went to join the rest of her family.


	2. Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur encounters bullies in the park. Luckily, he also has friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to weekly posting! Chapters will come out every Monday until further notice.

“Mama!” Fili whined. “You promised we could go to the park with Nori and Dori today!”

“All right, just a moment!” Dis said, getting up to find appropriate shoes while continuing her conversation with Eileen. “So anyway, Dwalin told me that Gloin went in to get the radio fixed. That thing’s been broken for fifteen years and he’s never minded!”

“Didn’t know radios fell under the skill set of mechanics,” Eileen commented, sipping at her coffee. “And wouldn’t it be much cheaper just to replace it than to have someone fix it?”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “It would be,” she agreed. “And normally that would be Gloin’s way. Mr. Financial Responsibility and all…except it’s not just someone doing the fixing…Kili, take that out of your mouth!”

“Ah,” Eileen said with a grin. “And I suppose fixing radios is something Marnie can do.”

“It seems to be worth a try, anyway,” Dis said. “Especially since…Fili, that’s the wrong foot…especially since Gloin doesn’t know which parts of the engine are non-essential and relatively inexpensive that he hasn’t already broken.”

“He could just run into things,” Eileen said. “Accidentally.”

“He’s too good a driver for that,” Dis said. “Okay, Fili, remember how to tie shoes? Gloin wouldn’t want to do too much damage, really.”

“It’s getting pathetic,” Eileen sighed. “What’s so hard about asking a girl out anyway?”

“You’d be surprised,” Dis said, looking up from where Fili was very determinedly tying Kili’s shoes. She grinned roguishly “I’ve been working up the courage to ask you for the last five years.”

Eileen rolled her eyes. “Not in front of the children,” she teased. “And you can tell our husbands.”

Dis laughed just as the door opened and Dori looked in. “Kids ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” Dis said, getting up. “Fili, look after your brother.”

“I know!” Fili said. “Bye, Mama!” He took Dori’s offered hand and followed him out the door.

*

One would think that after living somewhere for two weeks, there would be a certain sense of tranquility.

Bifur knew better. He knew that his mother and aunt would forever be fussing over details and making changes and generally being entirely too frazzled to deal with his small cousins. So it was really no surprise when Betsy, busy repapering the bedrooms, ordered Bifur to take the lads somewhere else. Preferably somewhere a good way away from her.

She was considerably crosser than usual since Bofur had decided that the best way to occupy his time was to grab a couple of pots and pans and start banging them in what could be called a rhythm and improvising a very loud and largely tuneless song on the spot. While some might call this sort of thing “charming” or the “signs of a blooming musician,” Betsy just found it loud and annoying, and Peg was inclined to agree.

After fifteen years of living with them, Bifur had a good sense of when his mother and aunt were out of patience, so it only took him five minutes to convince Bofur to abandon the pots, get the boys into their shoes and leave the house. 

Not that Bofur got any quieter outside. Indeed, he seemed to take the open space and lack of anyone else in the immediate vicinity as an invitation to continue his song, only louder. Bifur didn’t know how such a tiny boy managed to produce such a large sound, but he did. 

Well, they were Irish. They weren’t built to be quiet. Except Bombur, but he was always an odd one.

A few blocks away from their street was a small park, with a playset for children and lots of nice benches for their supervisors. It was a nice little place and if the weather was nice, there were always bound to be lots of little kids running around. It was the perfect spot for two little boys with more energy than sense. Bifur sent them off, admonishing Bofur to stick with his brother, and went to an empty bench where he could watch them without having to get involved himself.

Bofur took Bombur’s hand and led him over to the playset, where they started running and climbing as best as they could, which was a lot better than one would expect from such short legs and such a chubby toddler. A few times, Bifur started to get up to catch them if they fell, but neither one did, always managing to find the right speed or balance to keep going.

A little ways away, some slightly older boys were engaged in a game of hide and seek, a game that seemed to involve the entire park. They didn’t seem to care too much about getting in the way of younger kids and their disinterested mothers and babysitters made no moves to stop them. Bifur found himself keeping half an eye on them as well as his own charges, mostly for fear that someone would get hurt.

The older boys ran over to the playset, still chasing each other and laughing a lot. Bofur grinned at them. “Hello,” he said when they stopped running.

The boys looked at him strangely. “Where’re you from?” one asked, sounding more hostile than curious.

“Few blocks down,” Bofur answered easily.

The boys started laughing. One of them repeated the sentence, mocking Bofur’s Irish accent. Bofur frowned. “What’s funny?” he asked.

“You talk weird,” one boy said.

“It’s dumb,” another decided.

“Not dumb,” Bofur said. “I just moved from Ireland.” Even from this distance, Bifur could see Bofur’s lip trembling.

The boys laughed harder. “Oh, so you’re a leprechaun?” one said mockingly. “Ooo, they’re after me looky charms!”

Bofur looked on the verge of tears and in spite of the ages of the bullies, Bifur’s Irish pride was rearing up. He had not left everything he’d ever known behind to put up with this shit. Bifur stood up and marched over to where the boys were gathered, all making various leprechaun cracks.

“Clear off now!” he snapped, not bothering to cover his accent in spite of the mocking. The boys all started at the deeper voice, and looked up, frightened at Bifur’s large form. They scattered immediately, going back to their game as though nothing had happened.

Bofur’s lip was still trembling and even though Bombur didn’t understand what was said, he did understand his brother was upset and that was making him cry, too. Bifur knelt down beside them and pulled them both into a hug.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s all right…they’re just ignorant. They don’t know any better.”

“I know better,” Bofur said. “I know you don’t make fun of a person for how they talk…Aunty Peg said so. She said the English…”

“I know,” Bifur cut in, not wanting to think about their reasons for leaving Ireland right now. “But not everyone has learned that rule.” He pulled back and smiled at Bofur. “But you know better, and your voice is beautiful, Bof. And don’t you ever forget it.”

Bofur nodded hesitantly, though he still looked upset. Bifur was casting around for something else to say when a sudden joyous shout caused them all to turn. Bofur’s face split into a wide grin when he spotted Fili, Kili and Nori coming across the lawn toward the playset, Dori following after them. Bofur and Bombur ran over to meet them.

They all converged near the playset. Nori was already chattering on about something, but this time, Bofur didn’t join in the conversation. Nori noticed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, noticing that Bofur didn’t look as cheerful as usual.

“Some boys were being mean about how I talk,” Bofur said. “They kept calling me a leprechaun.”

Nori frowned and Dori clucked sympathetically. “I remember people saying that to me when I first came to America,” he said. “From England. The other kids kept calling me ‘Sir Dori.’ Don’t worry, Bofur. They’ll get over it. It’s just something new that they can’t understand.”

Bofur nodded, but didn’t look reassured. Nori’s angry face began to morph into his mischievous face. “Come play with us,” he said to Bofur and Bombur. They agreed happily and the five boys took off. Dori and Bifur went to the bench and sat down.

“They’re not going to get into too much trouble, are they?” Bifur asked, a bit anxiously as Nori gathered the boys under a slide and started whispering.

“Nah,” Dori said. “They never go too far. At least, nothing their mothers can’t handle.”

Nori was listening intently, following Bofur’s gestures as he pointed out the boys involved. After a few minutes, Nori nodded and got up deliberately. Dori’s eyes followed him over to where a young mother or babysitter sat reading a book and paying no attention whatever to her charge. Nori went to where several small toys had been abandoned and picked up a baseball from the stack. Dori sighed as Nori sauntered off into the tree line, but made no move to stop him.

Bifur raised his eyebrows. “Aren’t you going to do something about that?” he asked.

“Not after what you told me,” Dori said. “Besides, he’s not keeping it. Just…hiding it somewhere. It’ll turn up.”

Bifur hummed in mild disapproval, but they were children. There would be time for them to learn later, right?

Nori returned from the trees and went back to the others, who all got up and joined him in playing a very innocent game of tag, made slightly unfair by the fact that Fili and Kili counted as one catch, giving them a severe disadvantage, though they never seemed to mind. To everyone’s immense surprise, little Bombur was caught the least, being a shockingly fast little thing when he wanted to be.

And when the boy who had led the bullying couldn’t find his ball for a good hour, well, no one felt inclined to point him in the right direction.


	3. Courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want to win a girl over, drastic steps must be taken.

Thorin and Dwalin worked as mechanics, at Blue’s Autoshop. It was a decent living, even if the work was difficult, and they had very few complaints.

Marnie Eras was not so forgiving. It was part of being a young woman in a field mostly occupied by men. She still vividly remembered when she had come in to apply for a job as a mechanic, only to be told she’d be better off as a secretary.

Three successful diagnoses and fixes later, the shop owner admitted she was as good a mechanic as any of the boys and given her the job. She had managed to keep a good reputation and had even gathered a few regular clients.

Most of them were horny young men who all spent way too much time hitting on her, but a few hints from Dwalin was all it took to make most of them stop that. They didn’t stop coming in for repairs and upgrades, though. Marnie was far too good at her job for that.

But one client was not like the others. For one thing, he was significantly older than the typical young rich boys who came in to impress her. For another thing, he was Dwalin’s cousin, which meant that he didn’t get threatened nearly as often.

But the best thing about him was that he didn’t openly hit on Marnie, but rather shuffled in, face as red as his hair, and asked her if she would please have a look at the car when it was convenient.

The first time, he had been looking for Dwalin or Thorin to do it. Normally, when one of the family had car troubles, they’d wait until the day was done and have one of them do it for free, but that day Gloin’s car had quite suddenly started smoking from the engine much closer to the shop than the neighborhood, so he had gotten it there quickly only to find that his cousins were on their lunch break.

So Marnie had gone to take a look, pointedly ignoring how much Gloin stumbled over his words, and had found the problem in under an hour, mostly to make him go away. Not that he was a bad sort, but after a full two years of hot shots trying to get in her pants, Marnie was out of patience with anyone who stared at her ass that much.

Though she found that she didn’t mind so much when he did it.

“I’ll have it done in two weeks,” she promised, and she had thought that would be the end of their interactions.

She should have known better. A few days after returning Gloin’s car, Dwalin had invited her to dinner in thanks for helping his cousin so well. She had grumbled that it was nothing and she’d gotten paid, but then Thorin had jumped in a said that yes, she should definitely come to dinner, his sister was dying to meet her, and his nephews were extremely interested in mechanics.

How could she refuse?

This of course meant she was subjected to the entire extended family. Which included Gloin, who at least had the decency to look at her face when he looked at her at all. And at the end of it all, Marnie found that she had been coopted into the group more thoroughly than two years of working with Dwalin and Thorin had done.

It wasn’t a bad position.

And when Gloin had started coming in regularly, well, Marnie wasn’t likely to object. Her commission was much too good.

The fact that Gloin was actually nice and not bad to look at…well, that was just a bonus.

“You know that’s not really part of your job,” Dwalin commented, watching Marnie replace the radio.

She shrugged. “He’s paying me, isn’t he? Figure I can do the poor man a favor.” She reached back. “Screwdriver.”

Dwalin passed it to her, smirking. “You know it’s building up to more than that,” he commented.

“And when it does, I’ll respond accordingly,” Marnie said. “But right now, he’s just hanging around and being all flustered and frankly, it’s rather adorable and it pays the rent. Forgive me for not encouraging that to stop.”

“What about encouraging other things to start?” Dwalin asked quietly. “Cause old man Blue isn’t too happy with him taking up so much of your time, Marn. You’re a good mechanic and you need to be doing more important things than replacing radios.”

“Are you saying I should tell him to fuck off?” Marnie asked. “Not very nice of you to do to your cousin.”

“No, I’m saying you should help speed this up.” Dwalin leaned on the top of the open car door and looked over at Marnie seriously. “If you give some indication that you’d like to date him, he might actually work up the courage to ask and then he can moon over you somewhere else and you can get back to work.”

Marnie looked up at him severely. “And then who will I depend on for these heavy commissions?”

“I’m sure someone else will fall in love with you soon enough,” Dwalin said soothingly. “I mean, you’re not too bad to look at, I guess.”

“Watch it, Fundin,” Marnie snapped. “I do know where you parked and I could cut your brake lines without anyone noticing.”

“Ah, you love me, Marn,” he teased. “Now come on. Just about time for lunch. You can do the usual tune-ups after.”

“Doesn’t need any of them, I just did them last week.” Still, Marnie got out of the car and followed Dwalin to lunch.

*

“I’m just saying,” Dwalin said to Dis. “If there was some way to actually get Gloin into the shop for more than five minutes…”

“Don’t look at me,” Dis said. “I don’t know anything about auto-mechanics.”

“No, but you know everything about match-making.” Dwalin gave Dis his best puppy-dog eyes. “Please? He’s so utterly besotted…”

“Not unless you want to sabotage something,” she said. “And I’d rather you not kill your cousin.”

“Well, is there anyone who needs to borrow a car for a day or two?” Dwalin pleaded. “Someone who’s not very good at driving?”

Dis thought. “No, but I do have an idea…give me a day or two to talk to Peg.”

*

Word travelled very quickly through one neighborhood, so it only took a few days for Gloin to find himself standing on his front porch, talking to Peg Smith.

“So I was thinking that Bifur ought to learn to drive,” Peg said. “But seeing as all of us are used to driving on the opposite side, I was going to get him an American instruction course, but they’re all so expensive these days, aren’t they?”

“I think they run driver’s ed through the schools now,” Gloin said. “But he should get some experience before that.” He knew an opportunity when he saw it, and Dis was giving him severe looks across the street. “I’m free on the weekends, I could take him out if you like.”

“Oh, would you?” Peg asked. “I’ll pay for the gas, of course…and any repairs if he messes it up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gloin said. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

*

“So what’s the damage?” Thorin asked, leaning on the doorframe.

Marnie looked up at him, slightly annoyed. “Suspension is shot, headlight busted entirely, gear shift is completely destroyed and I’ll probably have to replace the brake pads…how did he do this?”

“He volunteered to teach a fifteen-year-old to drive,” Thorin answered. “And apparently Bifur overdid a right turn, slammed the brakes too hard, and hit a parked trailer...it happens.” He shrugged. “Neither was hurt, though Bifur was a bit shaken up.”

Marnie closed her eyes for a moment before she straightened up. “Right,” she said. “You fix the brake pads, I’m putting a stop to this before he kills somebody.” She marched out of the garage and into the lobby.

Gloin was sitting there, waiting patiently for the diagnosis. Marnie stomped over, pushing her frizzing red hair back under her cap. Gloin looked up from his magazine and blushed. “Well?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“It’s going to take two weeks,” she announced. “At the end of which I expect full payment. And by that I mean I expect you to actually say what you mean and not just keep pulling nonsense like this in order to get attention!”

Gloin turned even redder. “I just…thought it’d be nice to help my neighbor,” he mumbled.

Marnie raised her eyebrows. “And?”

“And…” Gloin took a few deep breaths. “I’ll take you to dinner when the car is fixed?”

She smiled slightly. “Good,” she said. “I’ll see you in two weeks.” And with that, she went back into the garage.

Gloin stared after her for a moment before dashing out of the shop and finding an empty street where he could do a very undignified victory dance.


	4. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moms need a day off, and Balin is more than willing to help.

It was a rare day that every mother in the neighborhood had to be somewhere, but it happened often enough that Balin knew when to have Gloin recalculate his babysitting rates.

“How many kids are we up to now?” Balin asked as Dis was balancing her checkbook before her monthly shopping day in Minneapolis.

“Five,” she said absently. “But you don’t have to take all of them if you don’t want.”

“I said I would, and they do better when they’re all together anyway.” Balin glanced at where Fili and Kili were playing with blocks on the floor. “Besides, I have to do something when the university is on holiday.”

“Right.” Dis finished her work and smiled. “Well, I should be back around ten…Vili said he wants to take me out when I’m done with my shopping. But Thorin said he’ll take the boys at six for dinner.”

“Noted,” Balin said. “Try not to burn the city down.”

Dis laughed. “Oh, we’ll try,” she said. “But you know how it is.” She grabbed her purse. “Boys, be good for Cousin Balin!”

“Yes, Mama!” Fili called, and then Dis was out the door.

For the first fifteen minutes, everything was quiet, but then Eileen came whirling into the house.

“Sorry to dump him on you,” she said. “But Dori won’t be back until one and my doctor’s appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

“It’s not a problem, really,” Balin said. “They’ll wear each other out quick enough, I’m sure.”

“All right,” she said. “Dori should get home before I do, I’m going to surprise Lori when I’m done…if Dori doesn’t pick him up, I’ll be back at six.”

“Fine,” Balin said. “You have a nice time.”

Eileen nodded. “Nori, behave!” she called, and then was gone.

Nori went over to Fili and Kili and started building a tower with them. They built it up as high as they could reach before knocking it down, laughing.

The noise was almost enough for Balin to miss the door opening, but it was difficult to ignore when two more little boys came darting inside, followed by a very stressed-looking Betsy Mattocks.

“Sorry about this,” she said. “But if I don’t get out of that house, I’ll go crazy.”

“It’s fine,” Balin said for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “I’m more than capable of looking after them.”

“Right,” she said. “Brian will be back at five, and Peg and Bifur should be back by six. I’ll be home a little after that…if I haven’t decided to run away and join the circus.”

“Call if you do,” Balin said soothingly. “And send postcards.”

Betsy smiled a bit. “Bofur, Bombur, be good!” she called, and then left.

Really, it was pretty simple to watch all the boys when they were entertaining each other. True, they were all loud, and rather rambunctious, but Dis’s living room was large enough for them to play in without breaking anything, so all Balin really had to do was field inane questions whenever one of the boys needed to know something.

Half-an-hour later, Dori poked his head in the front door. “Mr. Balin?” he called politely. “I’m back if you want to send Nori home.”

“Thank you, lad, but I wouldn’t dream of it,” Balin called back. “They’re having too much fun.”

Dori went into the living room. “Do you want any help?” he asked. “I mean…they are a bit of a handful sometimes.”

Balin chuckled. “I can handle it,” he said, nodding toward where the boys were building an ever-more elaborate castle out of the blocks. “Besides, you get stuck babysitting all the time. You deserve a break.”

“It’s not that often,” Dori said. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a full-time parent or anything.”

“Even so,” Balin said. “You go home and rest. Believe me, I’ll call if I need anything.”

“If you’re sure…” Dori shifted a bit. “I mean, there’s five of them against one of you and they are a bit loud…”

Balin gave him a flat look. “I used to be a rock star,” he said. “They don’t even come close to being loud, and I once managed to take on fifteen hysterical women all at once. I think I’ll be okay.”

“Right,” Dori said. “Well, then, I’ll be next door with 911 on standby.”

“I appreciate it, lad,” Balin said and Dori left the house.

*

An hour later, Balin was beginning to think he had spoken too soon.

It wasn’t that the boys were misbehaving, not really. In fact, Balin considered it a good hour when only one fist fight had broken out, something about the exact placement of blocks to keep out dragons. But no one had gotten hurt, nor did Nori and Bofur seem to be any less of friends because of it. And both had stopped fighting at once when Fili gave an ultimate decision. Balin had wondered at that, but he did not question the politics of preschoolers too much. Besides, Fili was very good at getting his way.

Kili and Bombur had lost interest in the building only a few minutes in and had contented themselves with the favorite activity of toddlers everywhere, namely making as big a mess as they reasonably could with adult supervision. In this case, that meant being handed several sheets of construction paper to tear apart, with interference any time one of them put the bits of paper in their mouths. They seemed to think it was great fun to throw the bits of colored paper at the older boys, who mostly just laughed and ignored them.

But they were certainly all very loud, so when the older boys finally got tired of their blocks, Balin suggested that they go outside for a little while, mostly to soothe his own fraying nerves. The boys had quickly agreed to that, though it took a good ten minutes to put on shoes since Fili had to show everyone that he could tie both his own and Kili’s shoes all by himself now. Bofur and Bombur seemed rather impressed, even if Nori sighed a bit impatiently as Fili did up the knots.

As soon as they got outside, the boys took off, Fili pulling Kili along as usual, Bofur and Nori already well ahead and bent on mischief, and Bombur stumbling along after them.

“I’m a knight!” Bofur declared, picking up a fallen stick. “And I will fight for the honor of the kin-dom!”

Nori picked up his own stick. “I’m a thief!” he said. “And I’m going to steal from the kin-dom!”

“Not if I stop you!” Bofur swung his stick and Nori blocked it.

Fili grabbed a stick of his own. “I’m the prince of this kin-dom!” he said. “And I say that no one should steal from it!”

“Well, duh!” Nori said. “But thieves don’t listen to princes!” He glanced at Kili. “And what kinda prince has two heads?”

“My brother is a prince as well!” Fili snapped. “In case they lose me.”

“Does that make Mrs. Dis the queen?” Bofur asked. “Cause I don’t think she looks very queen-y.”

“My mama’s more queen-y than your mama!” Fili said, swinging his stick at Bofur.

“Fi!” Kili protested as he almost lost his grip.

Bofur blocked Fili, only for Nori to sneak up. Amazingly, Bofur was quick enough to deflect the other stick as well, and Fili took the opportunity to make sure Kili was still securely holding onto his shirt before swinging at Nori.

Bombur caught up to them and picked up a stick, though he looked unsure as to what to do with it. Bofur smiled encouragingly. “Come on, Bom,” he said. “Like this!” He and Nori began to battle in earnest, File lunging in now and then to turn the tide when he felt like it.

Unfortunately, one lunge was too much and Kili lost his grip and fell down. He hit the ground hard and started to wail. Fili couldn’t turn for fear of getting hit by accident, so that was when Balin decided to swoop in. He hurried down and scooped Kili up, carrying him back to the porch, well out of harm’s way.

Kili continued to cry, reaching for Fili, but Balin didn’t put him back down. They would have to learn to live without each other one day, and Fili couldn’t be held back forever. Balin rubbed Kili’s back and made soothing little shushing noises. The child eventually quieted and settled in Balin’s lap to watch the fight, occasionally calling out “Fi!” whenever one of the others got too close without him noticing.

Bombur took a few half-hearted swings at the others before he seemed to grow bored and toddled back over to the porch. He sat down on the step next to Balin and leaned against his thigh. The chubby toddler was soon asleep, curled up on the porch step and sucking his thumb.

The older boys continued their battle for another half-hour, hitting each other with sticks, blocking many of the strikes, but still managing to strike bare skin now and then. Balin thought about putting a stop to it, but they were all laughing and shouting more invectives at each other, so he decided they were all right for now. Eventually, the sticks were tossed aside in favor of pure wrestling, a mostly-harmless tussle in the dirt. Nori had the advantage there, due to being bigger than the other two, but Bofur seemed to be very clever about knowing just when to pounce, and Fili was quick enough to slide out of harm’s way.

After an hour outside, Balin called to them that it was time to go in and wash up. The three older boys were all very dirty, but Balin had come to expect that. He was mostly grateful that this excursion had not involved pond scum. It was simple enough to put Kili back down and let Fili take him in while Balin gather Bombur up and carried him inside without waking him. Really, the child could sleep through anything.

*

Once the boys had washed up enough not to throw their mothers into conniptions, Balin herded them back into the living room, where he felt confident enough that they wouldn’t kill each other in ten minutes while he quickly put together a snack for them—he could tell they were all getting hungry, and hungry children were never fun.

Fili, Bofur and Nori apparently decided that telling ever-more boastful stories about their dads was a good way to spend that time, while Kili chewed on Fili’s shirt. Bombur, who had woken up in the intervening twenty minutes, followed Balin into the kitchen and watched fascinated as he cut up apples and put peanut butter on them.

Balin looked down and smiled at the little boy. “Is this interesting?” he asked.

Bombur nodded, reaching out his chubby hand. Balin chuckled and passed him an apple slice. Bombur ate it eagerly and reached out for more.

“Wait for the others,” Balin admonished. Bombur looked down sadly, but didn’t cry, which was a good thing. Such a sweet, quiet little thing, really.

Of course, being called for food brought the other four in quickly, and the next half-hour was spent eating and continuing the argument, which was going to turn nasty soon enough, which meant Balin judged it a good time to divert it.

“So,” he said. “I understand you’re starting kindergarten in the fall, Nori, Bofur.”

“Yeah,” Nori said. He didn’t look very happy.

Bofur, however, beamed. “I’m ex-ited!” he said. “Bifur says school is hard, but I’m smart!”

“Dori said it’s hard, too,” Nori said. “I don’t wanna go if it’s gonna be hard!”

“It can be hard,” Balin said. “But it doesn’t start that way. And you’ll make lots of new friends!”

“I like new friends!” Bofur said.

“But you’re our friend!” Nori protested.

“Yeah!” Fili said. “You’re ours!”

“Boys!” Balin said. “You can have lots of friends! No one belongs to anyone else!”

“Don’t worry,” Bofur said. “You’ll always be my best friends.”

Fili looked down. “I don’t get to go to kindergarten,” he said moodily.

“Not this year,” Balin said. “But your mama was saying she wants to start you in preschool.”

Fili still looked uncertain. “But I won’t be with my friends,” he said.

“No,” Balin said. “But you’ll be with other kids. And maybe when you’ve all made new friends, they can all come and become friends with the rest of you!”

They all considered this for a moment. Finally, Fili looked up. “Will the pee-school let me bring Kili?” he asked.

Balin bit his lip. Of course. “Well…no,” he said. “He’s too little to go to school just yet.”

“Then I won’t go,” Fili declared. “I gotta take care of Kili.”

Balin sighed. “Your mama will take care of Kili,” he said. “So will your daddy, and Uncle Thorin, and me and Dwalin and everyone else.”

“But you don’t understand him!” Fili protested. “He don’t even walk by himself yet!”

“He’ll learn,” Balin said firmly. “You can’t hold him up forever.”

Fili looked down at his little brother, who was looking back, his dark eyes solemn. Even if he didn’t understand all the words, he did seem to understand Fili’s distress at the idea of leaving him. “Fi,” Kili said plaintively, and Fili handed him the last of his apple slices.

“Don’t worry, Ki,” he said. “I won’t let them take me away!”

Kili chewed on the apple, leaning on Fili’s shoulder, and Balin decided to table that discussion for now.

*

Once the boys had finished their snack and been cleaned up, they all seemed rather more sleepy than before, which Balin took as a good opportunity to herd them back into the living room, put on a Disney movie, and sit down with them for some well-deserved quiet time.

It didn’t take long for Kili and Bombur to both fall asleep, curled up beside their brothers. Fili and Bofur both seemed especially protective of them right then, Fili petting Kili’s hair and Bofur lying down next to Bombur and soon being asleep as well.

Nori crawled up next to Balin and curled into his side. Balin didn’t move, wondering at this. Nori wasn’t the most affectionate of children, especially not toward him.

“I wish I had a little brother,” he whispered sadly, looking at Fili and Bofur.

Balin smiled. “Little brothers are great,” he whispered back. “But you’re a little brother, aren’t you?”

Nori shrugged. “Dori doesn’t count,” he said. “He’s never home…and I wanna be a big brother. I wanna have someone who likes me that much.” He nodded at Fili and Kili, who were now both asleep.

Balin hugged Nori. “Maybe you’ll get a little brother one day,” he said. “And I know you’ll be a good big brother to him.

*

Thorin had learned not to ask questions when he went into Dis’s home. He knew by now that any time children under the age of six were involved, the answer was probably going to be very, very complicated and it was likely he was happier not knowing.

But sometimes, he would walk into a scene so precious that he couldn’t help but question it. In this case, the sight of Balin on Dis’s couch with all five little boys curled up around him, fast asleep. Balin gave Thorin a severe glare when he walked in. “Try not to wake them,” he whispered. “This is the most quiet I’ve gotten for the last five hours.”

Thorin laughed lowly and went into the kitchen, where Dis kept a Polaroid camera on top of the fridge for just such occasions. Balin mock-glared, but allowed Thorin to get the picture.

“Parents will be coming in soon,” Thorin whispered. “You’ll have to wake them eventually.”

Balin glanced at them. “I know,” he said. “But until then, you be quiet.”


	5. Fame and Fortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven years is not enough time to be forgotten.

Balin got up from his table in the bar, needing a quick break from figuring out lesson plans and assignments for the upcoming university semester. He got another small beer, and glanced around at the other patrons. After a few sips, he took the full glass back to his table, where his notebook sat with all his lesson ideas.

 “Hm… how about they choose a band or musician to research as their final paper?” Balin muttered to himself. “Someone not covered-“ he broke off when someone at a nearby table giggled loudly, and someone else shushed her. He cleared his throat and started looking through his lesson plan so far.

 His beer was half-empty when a shadow fell over his table. With a sigh, he looked up. “Yes?” he asked the two people standing there. A man, rather handsome, of about thirty, and a cute woman a little younger.

 “You’re him, right?” asked the woman, and Balin knew it was the one who had loudly giggled earlier.

 “And just who do you think I am?”

 “Oh, now we know for sure it’s you. Can’t mistake that voice for anyone else.” replied the man. He lowered his voice a little. “Balin Fundin of Erebor.” 

 “Ah, yes, well… I don’t add that ‘of Erebor’ part when I introduce myself.” Balin expected them to just ask for an autograph and go away. Instead, they sat at his table. “You’re… not asking for an autograph,” he concluded.

 “Not… not exactly,” the woman replied.

 The man leaned in, and Balin moved his notebook back. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but…” the handsome man lowered his voice to a near-whisper. “What we want is… well… We heard that you went for both teams.”

 It didn’t even take a second for Balin to get what they were asking. Their body language alone was obvious. “You’re propositioning me,” he stated. “You were talking about asking me, which would account for the laughing.”

 “We couldn’t help but to ask,” the woman spoke up. “Erebor is one of our favorite bands, and to meet one of you here-“

 “You’re asking for more than a simple meeting,” Balin replied, keeping his tone light. His eyes quickly gazed over the two, what he could see. They were both quite attractive. And they had come to him, which was his rule for occasions like this. He took a sip of his drink, and gave a coy smile. “And yes, I do go for both teams.”

 *

 “Where did you go off to last night?” Dwalin asked when his older brother came in while he was getting ready for work.

 “Somewhere where you couldn’t walk in on.”

 “I thought you went out to figure out your lesson plans,” Dwalin responded with raised eyebrows.

 “I did. But why would I say no to two attractive people propositioning me?”

 “Two? Don’t tell me you were out having a threesome.”

 “I thought you didn’t want to know about my exploits. Besides, it isn’t my first time-“

 “Don’t need to hear about anything specific.” Dwalin rolled his eyes as he groaned, “My forty-year-old brother is having threesomes.”

 All Balin could do was chuckle as Dwalin grabbed his keys and work jacket and hurried out the door.

*

Dwalin did not consider babysitting to be his strongest suit, but the boys all liked him well enough, and Dis trusted him. So when he was given the task of taking Fili to get new clothes for preschool, he didn’t complain. He did ask why, and was told that the boys needed to learn to live without each other and everyone else was busy.

He left the complaining to Fili, who seemed to think that a few hours’ shopping without his brother was tantamount to going to war and not coming back. Though, to be fair, if the trip took longer than a few hours, that might have actually been true.

Once they actually got to the shopping center, it wasn’t too bad. Fili seemed to forget about Kili in favor of looking over all the clothes, telling Dwalin which ones he liked and which ones were stupid, and asking for things to try on in his especially nice voice. Dwalin did his best to keep up and not wince at how expensive such small items were. After all, it was on Vili’s credit card.

They had just finished looking over semi-decent shirts for small boys when Fili tugged on Dwalin’s sleeve. “Cousin, that lady’s starin’ at you,” he said, pointing.

Dwalin stiffened. He knew that, as a large man with tattoos, a beard, and a Mohawk, he did not look like the type of man who would normally be out with a small child, and there was a strong possibility that someone was about to call the police. “It’s rude to point,” he told Fili before glancing at the woman in question. Not too old, middle-class, with a bored-looking little girl trailing after her. Typical suburban mom type, really.

She was walking over now and Dwalin braced himself to answer a lot of invasive questions about who the boy was, are you his father, does his mother know where he is. But the woman stopped just in front of him, and it wasn’t the look of a concerned mother on her face.

Mouth open, eyes wide, cheeks turning pink…that was the look of a flustered fangirl.

“I’m sorry,” the woman said. “But…aren’t you Dwalin? From Erebor?”

Dwalin sighed. Of course. Of fucking course. Seven years after the fact and he still couldn’t walk into a store without someone fawning over him. But he put on a smile. “Yes,” he said.

The woman didn’t quite squeal, but it was a close thing. The girl behind her, who looked to be about eight, rolled her eyes expressively. Dwalin sympathized.

“Oh my god!” the woman said, barely keeping her voice down. “I’m your biggest fan! I had all your albums and posters! I saw you in concert four times!” She was practically vibrating out of her skin now.

Dwalin kept his smile. “Well, it’s always nice to meet a fan,” he said kindly. “I’m glad to know you were so into our music.”

She giggled. “Well, that,” she said. “And I always thought you were cute.” She blushed a bit. “You’re not still single, are you?” she asked.

Dwalin was a bit flummoxed. He wasn’t sure how to answer that question without embarrassing both himself and the woman’s daughter, who was beginning to fade into a rack of jackets. “I’m, ah…” he glanced down at Fili and latched on to the excuse. “Alas, no,” he said quickly. “And I need to get my boy here ready for preschool…you understand.” He smiled and hoped she didn’t notice the lack of a wedding ring.

She looked vaguely disappointed. “Of course,” she sighed. “Can’t expect the good ones to stay single long.” She smiled down at Fili. “He’s quite sweet, isn’t he? Hello, there.”

Fili looked up, his eyes especially big. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Of course he’d be so cute!” She dug in her purse until she found a scrap of paper and a pen. “Can I at least have your autograph?”

“Of course,” Dwalin said. He signed the paper quickly. “Come on, Fili…we still need to get you a backpack.” He took the boy’s hand and led him off quickly and as far away from the woman as possible.

As soon as they were out of sight, Fili tugged Dwalin’s sleeve again. “Why was that lady actin’ weird?”

Dwalin smirked. “Because I’m extremely famous,” he said. “Now come on. We need to finish shopping quickly before she decides to follow us.”

*

Thorin had very few activities on his schedule. Work nine-to-five at the auto shop, have dinner with Dis, babysit the boys whenever she asked. And of course, his weekly narcotics support group.

That had been Dis’s idea, of course, but Thorin hadn’t been terribly enthusiastic about going at first. Oh, he knew that he had to, that he needed help to turn his life around, but he hated the idea of other people knowing about him, of needing other people to guide him. Having a bunch of strangers talk him through his addictions had been mortifying, especially after having the entire country witness his original breakdown, and half of it witness the second one.

But that had changed when a tiny, red-faced baby had looked up from his sister’s arm with hazy, half-lidded blue eyes. At that moment, Thorin had resolved that he was going to get better, that he was never going to be an embarrassment or burden to his family again. That his nephew would never have reason to doubt him.

So he had started not only going to the group, but participating and even volunteering information and occasionally his time. It wasn’t a glamorous group, but Thorin had gone religiously for the last four years and been sober ever since.

Most of the people in the group moved on after that long, but Thorin didn’t. He couldn’t trust himself not to relapse. There were some revolving members, who would do well for a little while but be back a few months later, but generally Thorin wouldn’t know more than half of the people who showed up on any given week.

That particular week, the group was fairly small, just a few regulars who had been working through their various issues, plus three new people, a spaced-out teenager and his over-wrought mother, and a man a little younger than Thorin who was trembling violently.

The meeting went normally enough, with the counselor guiding them through that week’s discussion and the usual announcements and updates. Thorin went through his weekly “Hi, I’m Thorin, I’ve been clean for four years” speech, and thought that would be the end of it.

And it was, until after the meeting. Thorin had volunteered to put the chairs away, as usual, when the new man approached him, looking as shaky as before.

Thorin smiled. He generally tried to be nice to everyone at the meetings. “Yes?” he asked.

“Sorry,” the man said. “I know anonymity is kind of the point of all this, but…you said your name was Thorin…like, the Thorin? From Erebor?”

Thorin froze. He was recognized now and then, but most people kept their distance, especially at meetings like this. What was he even supposed to say?

Finally, he realized he needed to say something, so he took a breath. “I’ve put that all behind me,” he said. “I don’t think of myself as Thorin from Erebor. I think of myself as Thorin who’s recovering.” He turned and walked away, leaving the man standing there in surprise.

Thorin headed back to his neighborhood and went to Dis’s house. It was fairly late, but she was awake, waiting in case it had been a difficult session. She looked up when Thorin entered.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Someone recognized me,” he said. “As Thorin-from-Erebor.”

“Oh.” She rose immediately and embraced him. “Will you be all right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll be fine.” He held her for a moment. “Are the boys asleep?”

“They’re in bed,” she said. “But Fili’s probably still awake. Kili’s been having nightmares recently and Fili won’t sleep until he’s sure Kili’s all right.”

Thorin nodded. “I’ll go up and say good night, then.”

He headed up to the bedroom the boys shared. Fili was indeed awake, sitting up and watching his brother avidly. He looked over when the door opened and smiled. “Hi, Uncle,” he whispered.

Thorin crossed the room. “Hey, Fi,” he whispered back. “You should be asleep.”

“Ki can’t sleep,” Fili said. “So I’m watchin’ him.”

Thorin smiled. “I’ll be here,” he promised. “So you can sleep now.”

Fili nodded and lay down. Thorin tucked him in and kissed his forehead. Softly, he began to sing.

_Far over the misty mountains cold,_

_In dungeons deep and caverns old…_


	6. Expectation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori's family has good news.

Eileen Scriver had very few things going on in her life. Her sole focuses and passions were her husband, her son, and whatever neighborhood drama was happening. This left her in the perfect position to be Dis’s second-in-command, a position which left most people pretty much terrified of her.

It wasn’t just that she and Dis worked in tandem so well—that was enough to get anyone’s attention. No, it was that Eileen was young, and pretty, and energetic, with the ability to knock back three pots of coffee per day without ill effects and both the gentleness and ferocity to keep up with one very rambunctious and slightly spoiled young boy. Anyone who had met Nori knew that his mother had to be the fiercest and most long-suffering woman in St. Paul.

For Nori, this meant he had come to expect a certain type of treatment by the age of six. He could always expect his mother to drop everything when he needed her. She was always ready to tell him stories or get down on the floor to play trucks with him. She always cooked good food for him, and let him go play with the other boys, and when Nori did something bad, she rarely yelled at him.

Nori loved his father, and his brother Dori, but they were always too busy for him, or too worried to let him really have fun. Eileen wasn’t like that. Eileen knew when to be stern, and when to relax, and when she could just let Nori go while she sat down with Dis to plot.

Nori loved his mother, and he couldn’t imagine any circumstances that would get in the way of that.

*

“Morning, Dis,” Eileen called as she whirled into the house.

“Morning, Eileen,” Dis called back. “Coffee?”

“No, thanks.” Eileen sat down at the table. “Where are the boys?”

Dis stopped what she was doing and stared at Eileen. “Across the street,” she said. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Oh, yes,” Eileen said, her voice higher than usual. “Just…not drinking coffee right now.”

“That is a sure indication of you not feeling all right,” Dis snapped. “Out with it, girl.”

Eileen sighed. “Can’t hide anything from you,” she said. “But it wouldn’t be right to tell you before I tell Lori.”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really?” she asked. She studied Eileen carefully for a moment before her smile grew. “So what will you call this one? Kori? Tori, maybe?”

Eileen glared at her. “Not all of us have to use rhyming names on all our children, you know.”

“Hasn’t stopped you so far.”

“Dori’s not my child.”

“I should hope not, but you kept up the rhyme scheme with Nori.”

“Not by my choice. I wanted to choose an entirely separate, normal, not rhyming name for him.”

“That happened to be shortened into Nori the moment your husband got hold of it.”

“Shut up, Dis.”

Dis was quiet for a moment. “And you haven’t told Lori yet?”

Eileen shrugged. “Thought I’d talk to him about it tonight. And the boys tomorrow…if I can figure out how to explain this to Nori.”

“It’s not that hard. I explained it to Fili without trouble.”

“Fili was two. He didn’t really understand what you were saying.”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “He understood well enough when he met Kili.”

“Exactly! You never really had to explain anything because he just…knew. But Nori’s different. He’s five years old already and I’m not going to rely on instinct with him.”

Dis looked at Eileen, her face suddenly serious. “Are you worried about him?”

Eileen sighed. “A bit…I mean…it’s Nori. He’s a good boy at heart, but he’s so…”

“Yeah.” They were quiet for a moment before Dis spoke again. “He does well with Kili and Bombur.”

“But Kili and Bombur have their brothers to defend them. I don’t know how Nori will be with a little sibling of his own.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Dis said. “It will be good for him to have someone else to look after…it could even help him be less…”

“Maybe.” Eileen stared at the wall for a good minute. “Have I done enough?”

“Of course you have,” Dis assured her. “You’ve done everything you can for him. I’m impressed you don’t lose your temper with him every other day.”

Eileen shrugged. “I’ve got a system,” she said. “Whenever Nori does something not nice, I ask three questions: was it his fault, was anyone hurt, and will he learn anything from me being angry at him? If the answer to any of those questions is no, I don’t get mad.”

Dis smiled. “It’s going to be fine,” she insisted. “You know how to handle Nori. I’m sure that one more won’t be too much trouble.”

*

Knowing how to handle Nori was one thing. Knowing how to talk to him was quite another.

Eileen flattered herself that she fostered open communication with her son, but there was a difference between listening to the micro-dramas of a preschooler and explaining the concept of a baby to him.

That was when Eileen was grateful for her husband. Lori wasn’t exactly the best at communicating with Nori, but he was very good at talking to people in general about difficult subjects, and really, what was the difference between explaining a baby to a child and explaining complex business deals to a client?

Well, besides the fact that Lori was actually excited about a new baby, where most business deals were pretty boring.

“I hope it’s a girl,” he said once Eileen had told him they were expecting. “I mean, not that a boy would be bad, but…well, we have lots of boys around, don’t we?”

“We do,” Eileen agreed. “But that’s up to nature, I suppose.” She bit her lip. “You’ll help me tell the boys?”

“Of course,” Lori said. He kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about the boys. I’m sure they’ll be as happy as we are.”

That made it easier at dinner that night. Dori was taking advantage of one of his last home-cooked meals before he returned to the dorms, and Nori was in a very excitable mood, babbling about the very elaborate game he and Bofur had invented that morning that was, as far as Eileen could tell, a version of hide-and-seek that had about a dozen extra rules put onto it to make it more fair for Kili and Bombur.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Once Nori had run out of air, Eileen glanced at her husband, who put on his Business Dinner face. “We have an announcement to make,” he said, perhaps a bit formally, but Eileen could see his mouth twitching.

Dori looked up, his eyes already suspicious. Nori looked at his mother nonplussed. “What’s a ‘nouncement?” he asked.

“It means that your mother and I have important news,” Lori explained.

“Oh.” Nori thought for a moment. “What is it?”

“I’m having a baby,” Eileen said, trying not to look too overjoyed. “You’re going to be a big brother soon.”

Dori’s cry of delight masked any confusion Nori might have expressed. “That’s great, Eileen!” he said. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Dori,” she said.

Nori tilted his head. “You’re havin’ a baby?” he asked.

“Yes,” Eileen said patiently. “Do you remember when Mrs. Dis had Kili?”

Nori thought for a moment. “A little,” he said. “She got really fat, but you said I wasn’t s’posed to tell her that. Are you gonna get fat?”

“Nori!” Dori and Lori scolded at the same time.

“I will,” Eileen said patiently. “For a while, because the baby is growing inside me and will take up a lot of space.”

“When’re you gonna have the baby?” Nori asked.

“I’m due in March,” she said. “At least, that’s what the doctor said, though it’s never a for-sure thing.”

Nori thought for a long moment, counting the months. “That’s a long time,” he said.

“Babies take a long time to grow,” Eileen said. She looked at her son seriously. “Do you think you can be a good big brother to him or her?”

Nori nodded enthusiastically. “I’m gonna be the best big brother!” he declared. “Cause if Fili can do it, I can do it better, cause I’m older and have had more time to learn!” He glanced at Dori. “Maybe I can even be as good as you!”

Dori looked shocked for a moment before he smiled. “You’re gonna have to practice hard,” he said. “I had fifteen years to prepare for you.”

Nori looked amazed by the idea of that much time, and Eileen sighed in relief. Lori grinned at her, his eyes shining, and she knew they were all going to be very, very happy for a very long time.


	7. School Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School is starting for the boys. Not everyone is happy about this.

Vili Durin tried to keep a calm demeanor at all times. It was really the only way to make sure his wife did not actually burn down the city with one of her zany schemes and that his sons wouldn’t follow in her footsteps too much.

He was generally fairly successful at keeping his head, but there were certain tasks that were a bit harder than others. Such as being told that he was going to drop Fili off at preschool that Monday, without even having Kili in the car.

“It makes sense,” Dis insisted. “You’re driving into work anyway, and it would be out of your way to take Fili, bring Kili back, and head out again. Besides, they have to be separated sometime.”

“How long was the tantrum Kili threw when Fili went school shopping with Dwalin?” Vili reminded her.

“He’ll get used to it,” she insisted. “Sooner the better. Teach them to stand on their own two feet.”

“You don’t get to complain when I come home tonight,” Vili said.

“Fili’s only gone half the day,” Dis said. “They’ll be fine.”

“Four hours to figure out how to manage Kili alone,” Vili said. “Good luck.”

Dis swatted at him. “They’ll be fine,” she insisted. “Once Fili’s there he’ll have fun, and once Fili’s gone, Kili will find something to do.”

“If you say so,” Vili muttered. “Are we putting Fili in nice clothes for this?”

“Oh, hell no,” Dis said. “He’ll get them dirty in five minutes.”

*

Fili was not going to school. He didn’t care what Mama and Daddy said, he was not going. He would not leave Kili alone that long.

Unfortunately, no one else seemed to have gotten the message that Fili would not go to school, because his mother woke him up early on Monday and told him to get dressed.

“Is Ki awake?” Fili asked.

“Not yet,” Dis answered. “I’ll wake him up so he can say good-bye.”

“No,” Fili said. “Not gonna say bye to Ki.”

“Fili.” Dis’s voice was firm. “You have to get up and go to preschool.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“It will be fun. You’re going to make new friends, and do crafts, and learn new things.”

“But Ki won’t be there.”

“Well, then,” Dis said. “You can come home and teach it to Kili after.”

Fili thought about that for a second before he finally got out of bed. “You gotta promise to take care of him,” he said.

“I’m his mother,” Dis said. “I think I can handle that.”

“Yeah, but he don’t like talkin’ to people much,” Fili said. “They never know what he means.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” Dis assured him. “Put on your play clothes and come have breakfast.”

Fili went to the dresser and picked out his jeans and t-shirt. He kept glancing at Kili, still sleeping peacefully with his thumb in his mouth and his teddy bear under his arm. How could he leave? Kili couldn’t even stand up on his own, let alone tell their mother what he wanted. Nevertheless, Fili got dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

His father was already there, in his suit and tie, drinking his coffee. “Hey, kiddo,” Vili said. “Ready for your first day of preschool?”

Fili slumped in his chair. “No,” he said.

Vili sighed. “Is it about Kili?” he asked. “You know that he’s not going to be a baby forever.”

“But he’s a baby now!” Fili insisted. “And he needs me!”

Dis and Vili exchanged a glance. “He’s getting to be a big boy,” Dis said softly. “And he’ll need to learn to be a big boy.”

Fili continued pouting as his mother put a bowl of Cheerios in front of him. He ate grudgingly, glowering at the bowl the whole time.

At seven-thirty, Dis went upstairs and carried Kili back down on her hip. Kili’s eyes were very wide, as though he knew something was wrong. “Fi?” he said.

That was when Fili started crying. “I don’t wanna go!” he insisted.

“You need to go,” Vili said. “It’s only until noon, then Eileen will bring you home with Bofur and Nori, okay?”

Kili started crying as well, reaching for Fili desperately. Dis knelt down so that the boys could hug each other. “Fi,” Kili muttered.

“It’s okay, Kili,” Fili said. “I’m gonna come home…I’m not gonna leave you too long…”

“Fi,” Kili said again. “Don’ go.”

There was a moment of silence from their parents, but Fili only hugged Kili tighter. “I gotta,” he said. “And that means you gotta talk to Mama, okay?”

“Kay,” Kili said, sniffing. “I talk to Ma.”

Vili looked like he’d been hit on the head with a hammer. “Since when could he form sentences?” he asked, looking to Dis.

“I have no idea,” she said.

“He’s been doin’ it for a while,” Fili said, suddenly very conscious of the fact that they’d kept that secret. “He just never needed to say it.”

“Well,” Dis said, recovering her composure. “I suppose that’s a good start. Now kiss your brother goodbye, Fili.”

Fili pecked Kili on the cheek and went over to his dad. “Okay,” he said. “We can go now.”

Vili picked up his briefcase, kissed Dis and Kili goodbye, and took Fili’s hand. “Let’s go on an adventure,” he said, and led him out the door.

*

“BIFUR, DON’T MAKE ME CALL YOU AGAIN!”

“Coming, Ma!” Bifur stumbled downstairs, his hair in disarray, but at least he was dressed in decent clothes.

“Comb your hair, lad, I won’t have you looking like that on your first day!” Peg moved around the kitchen, cooking breakfast for the whole family. “Then go help your aunt with the little ones, we need to get Bofur off as well.”

“Right.” Bifur wandered into the downstairs bathroom and found a hair tie. He pulled his hair back and went to help wrangle the smaller boys.

This was made difficult by the fact that Bofur was, as always, disgustingly cheery and energetic.

“Hold still!” Betsy scolded. “And let me get your hair brushed!”

Bofur tried, he really did, but he was fidgeting incessantly and Betsy was trying not to pull his hair, which meant they were working at cross-purposes.

“Bif, could you get Bombur up and downstairs?” Betsy called.

“Want him dressed or just downstairs?”

“Downstairs is fine, I can get him dressed later.” Betsy accidentally pulled Bofur’s hair too hard, making him yelp. “I said hold still!”

Bifur chuckled and went next door, to where Bombur was asleep, his large collection of Beanie Babies rising and falling on his chubby stomach with each breath. Bifur went over and shook him gently. “Get up, sweet,” he said. “Time for breakfast.”

Bombur’s eyes fluttered open and he yawned, before carefully setting all his Beanie Babies aside and sliding out of bed. Bifur guided him downstairs and lifted him into his booster seat. Betsy and Bofur joined them a few minutes later, Bofur dressed in the nicest clothes a kindergartener could reasonably wear with his hair neatly braided.

“Right,” Betsy said. “First day of school. Be good, make friends, play nice, obey your teachers, and don’t get into trouble, please!”

“I won’t!” Bifur said defensively.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” she snapped. “I know you’re not going to make mischief.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Bifur said, his eyes shining. “I was just going to save it until everyone has a sense of security.”

Betsy glared, but Peg only laughed. “That’s my boy,” she said. “Let them think it’s all right, then let them have it!”

“Don’t encourage them!” Betsy scolded.

“Nori’s in my class, right?” Bofur asked.

“Yes, I made sure of it,” Betsy said. “You’re in the same class, and you’ll come home together at noon.”

Bofur nodded happily and turned back to his breakfast.

*

“Nori!” Eileen bustled into the room. “It’s time to get up, sweetheart.”

Nori yawned and sat up. “Is it school day?” he asked.

“Yes, love,” Eileen said. “Come on, let’s get you dressed and have breakfast.”

“Okay.” Nori stumbled out of bed and allowed his mother to pick out his clothes. He never argued too much in the mornings. It took until after breakfast for him to start causing trouble.

And thank heaven that today, that trouble would be out of Eileen’s hands.

Once Nori was dressed and his hair was combed, he obediently went down to breakfast, eating without complaint or interest, giving Eileen just enough time to get his little backpack ready to go.

“Come on,” Eileen said. “I want to get a first day of school picture.”

Nori went to where she indicated and stood still, smiling adorably, the gap in his front teeth making him even cuter. Eileen got her picture then held out her hand. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s get you to school.”

“Is it gonna be fun?” Nori asked.

“I suspect it will be,” Eileen answered. “Bofur will be there, and other children, and I know you can find fun anywhere.”

Nori grinned widely, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “I will,” he said. “I always do.”

*

Four hours a day. Dis had to remind herself it was only four hours a day.

Of course, Kili had spent the first hour crying, and the second hour screaming, but by the third hour he had worn himself out and contented himself by sitting right next to the front door, waiting for Fili to come home. Dis was impressed with how patient he could be, given enough motivation.

That only lasted half-an-hour before Kili finally crawled over to her and looked up. “Ma,” he said. “Hungwy.”

At least she had this. “All right,” she said, setting her book aside and bending to pick Kili up. “I think I have some bananas. Would you like one?”

“Uhhuh.” Kili leaned on her shoulder as she carried him back to the kitchen. She set him in his booster seat and went to peel and chop a banana for him. A bit messy, sure, but he was talking, and she could put up with mess in exchange for that.

“You’re getting so big,” she said. “Think you’ll start walking by yourself soon?”

“Maybe,” Kili said. “Want Fi.”

“Fili will be home soon,” Dis assured him.

“When?”

She pointed to the wall clock. “See the big hand?” she said. “It’s going to go around one and a half times, then when the big hand and the small hand are both at the top, Fili will come home.”

Kili stared up at the clock as though he’d never seen it before, as though it was the greatest miracle in the universe. Well, he was only two.

It was still a relief when noon came and a few minutes later, the door opened and Fili came bounding in, Nori and Bofur on his heels. “Ki!” Fili cried as soon as he saw his brother.

“Fi!” Kili wriggled and Dis lifted him down. Fili and Kili hugged as though they had been apart for years. “Miss you.”

Fili beamed. “I missed you, too,” he said.

Eileen followed the boys inside, looking rather tired. “Remind me not to let them race again,” she muttered.

“Your own fault,” Dis snapped back. “So I suppose you’re just going to leave the lot of them here?”

“You’re better equipped to deal with them than I am,” Eileen answered. “Besides, they haven’t gotten to talk your ear off about what they did today.”

“Fine, fine,” Dis said. “Go home and sleep and I’ll make sure they all get put back in the right house later.”

“Thanks, love!” Eileen smiled and vanished to the house next door and Dis returned to the kitchen to make lunch and hear all about the first day of school.


	8. Contemporary Music History for Non-Majors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori has his life together. Except for that stupid fine arts elective credit he still needs.

Dori Scriver was known as a man who had his life together, thank you very much. Sure, he still lived in the dorms of the university, rather than getting an apartment or just living with his father, but that was because it was more economical than an apartment and less stressful than living at home full time. Besides, he was a Resident’s Assistant, which gave him a sense of responsibility, even if the other students on his floor mocked him incessantly.

Then again, they didn’t mock him when he was the one making soup and tea when they were sick, or organizing study groups for hard classes, or even just lending an ear when someone was having a difficult time. Some called him fussy, but the teasing was at least tinged with affection, so Dori took it all in stride.

And really, he was looking forward to this year. Or would have been, if he hadn’t been told that he had that he needed to take another elective, which meant he had to waste a time slot he could have used for his business major on whichever fine art class he could get into without prerequisites.

A class that happened to be taught by Balin Fundin, whon Dori had known all his life and had so far managed to avoid being embarrassed by, which was more than he could say about everyone else he knew. Still, it wasn’t exactly how Dori wanted to spend three hours a week.

He was a bit surprised to find out that, for a 300-level music course, Contemporary Music History for Non-Majors was a fairly popular class, enough to fill the lecture hall in the music building, anyway. Dori took a seat near the back and hoped that no one would bother him as he took stock of his classmates, who seemed to be divided into two categories: people who were taking the class for an elective credit, or people who were genuinely interested in the subject.

Dori was quick to note that most of the latter seemed to be female, and that they all sat at the front of the room, eagerly leaning on their tables. He didn’t know why—it wasn’t like there were going to be any interesting slides in this class.

Balin came in just as the clock showed nine o’clock. He smiled benignly at the full lecture hall. “Good morning,” he said. “This is Contemporary Music History for Non-Majors. If you’re in the wrong class, now would be a good time to leave and find out where you’re supposed to be.”

There were a few scattered giggles from the girls in the front, though Dori couldn’t fathom why. That hadn’t been particularly funny.

Balin ignored them. “My name is Balin Fundin, and I’m an adjunct music professor. All of you just call me Balin, please.” He picked up a stack of papers and started passing them around. “Here is the syllabus for this course. My office hours are listed there, though you can always make an appointment…”

Dori tuned him out. All of this was going to be written down for him, and he had better things to do than listen to his dad’s friend drone on and on about office hours and classroom expectations. He entertained himself by doodling on a bit of scratch paper, planning out his next knitting project and debating whether to buy green or purple yarn for it.

“…And of course, you’ll have your final research projects,” Balin’s voice cut in. “This is due by the end of the semester, so I expect you to be working on it throughout the course. You’ll each choose a band or musician we haven’t covered in class and turn in a five-page paper on them. There’s a list on the syllabus of what we’ll be covering.”

There was a shuffling of papers and then one of the girls down front raised her hand. “Sir?” she said. “Are we not going to talk about Erebor?”

Balin closed his eyes for a moment. “No,” he said. “We don’t have time.”

“But, sir, that’s like, your area of expertise!” the girl burst out. “I mean…”

“That would be a great topic for a research paper,” Balin interrupted. “I’d be happy to discuss it with you after class.”

The girl fell silent and Balin continued his lecture.

*

“Dori!” Dwalin didn’t look happy to see him, per se, but he didn’t look pissed, which was a win in Dori’s opinion. “What brings you in? Has the old girl finally given up?”

“Nothing of the sort,” Dori answered. “I was hoping to talk to Mr. Blue. I’m supposed to interview a small business owner for class and he’s the only one I know.”

“He’s out at the moment,” Dwalin said. “But he’ll be back this afternoon. That all you need?”

Dori hesitated a moment. “Well…mostly,” he said. “Though I did want to ask…I ended up in one of your brother’s classes and…”

“Ah.” Dwalin grinned. “Senior girls still way too eager to be there?”

“I…what?” Dori was confused. “I mean, there are a lot of girls in the class, but it’s for non-majors, so people take it.”

“Yes, but more senior girls than anyone else,” Dwalin said. “Don’t worry, Balin doesn’t date students, but they do like to flirt a lot.”

“Oh, I…hadn’t noticed,” Dori said. “I was actually going to ask about the research paper he expects us to do…he doesn’t cover Erebor in class and I…”

“Do something challenging,” Dwalin advised. “He’ll tell you the same thing. It won’t be much of a research paper if you write it, since you were there.”

“Right,” Dori said. “Well…thanks. I’ll just wait here for Mr. Blue then.”

“I’ll let him know you’re here when he comes back,” Dwalin promised.

*

Now that it had been said, Dori did notice the girls in the class didn’t seem to be actually interested in music history. Oh, they all came to class religiously and sat at the front and answered questions, but Dori couldn’t help but notice that they were wrong a lot and tripped over their words or spoke in low, suggestive tones.

Not that Balin seemed to care. He responded to them professionally, ignored the more suggestive comments, and plowed on with his lecture as though nothing was wrong. Dori knew that Balin would never date a student, but in spite of that knowledge, he began to wonder.

He wondered about the girl who had spoken on the first day, with her long golden hair and blue eyeshadow, or the girl with dark curls and blue eyes who sat a few rows up and seemed more knowledgeable than her peers. He wondered about the shy girl with brown hair and glasses, who batted her eyelashes over the top of her textbook, and the loud redhead who called out the most ridiculous answers and drew the most attention to herself. He wondered if, in spite of the rules, Balin might eventually break and accept some of their flirtations, with the condition that he would not act until the semester was over.

The thought made Dori unreasonably angry and he couldn’t understand why. He had no interest in any of the girls in that class—he didn’t even know any of their names, nor did he really care. And it wasn’t like he was about to start flirting with Balin in an attempt to raise his grade—that would be both pointless and mortifying, especially since Dori was painfully aware that Balin had known him practically since birth.

But watching the girls make eyes at Balin—that was a bit too much, to the point where it was starting to distract Dori from his other duties. Not to the point where he was falling behind, but to the point where people noticed.

“Everything okay, Mom?” one of the residents of his floor asked one night as Dori sat brooding over his homework.

(All of his residents called him “Mom.” Dori hadn’t figured out if it was affectionate or mocking or both yet.)

“Fine,” Dori said. “Just trying to study.” He smiled at the student. “Did you need something, Daniel?”

“No, you just looked extra broody tonight,” Daniel answered. “Did you get rejected for a date?”

“No,” Dori said. “Mind your own business.”

It was not a crush. Dori had no romantic interest in Balin, or anyone for that matter. He had enough to worry about, with his classes and his floor and his family. He had a five-year plan, definite goals for the future, none of which included falling in love with a man nearly twenty years older than him.

Definitely not.

 


	9. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween time, which means trick-or-treating, cool costumes, and so much cute it will give you diabetes.

“Mama!” Fili came bounding into the kitchen, Kili at his heels. It had taken a month and a half, but Kili was finally starting to walk without clinging onto Fili. He still kept a hand on his brother when possible to steady himself, but he was doing much better.

Dis was not worrying about that right then. “You’ve both got leaves in your hair!” she scolded. “What have you been doing?”

Fili reached up absently and pulled a red leaf from his golden locks. “Huh,” he said. “We were jumpin’ in leaf piles.” He grinned and Dis couldn’t help but smile back. “Guess what, Mama?”

“What is it?” she asked.

“Halloween’s comin’ up!” Fili told her excitedly. “And Miss Carrie says we’re gonna have a costume party!”

“Ah.” Dis was suddenly much less cheerful. “And do you know what you want to be this year?”

“Uhhuh!” Fili grinned. “I wanna be Simba!”

Dis blinked. That had not been what she was expecting. “Well,” she said. “I’m sure we can make that happen.” She looked down at Kili. “And what do you want to be?”

Kili put his thumb in his mouth and looked up at her blankly. She sighed. “We’ll figure that out, then,” she muttered.

*

“How the hell am I supposed to put together a lion costume?” Dis ranted.

“Buy it in the store?” Eileen suggested drily. “It was a popular movie, there are bound to be pre-made costumes out.”

Dis gave her a flat look. “What sort of heathen do you take me for?” she asked. “Store bought costumes look good, but they don’t have the same love to them.”

“I’m going with a store-bought costume,” Eileen said. “Mostly because I don’t think I could make a Wolverine costume out of what I have lying around here.”

“Fair enough,” Dis said. “But a lion doesn’t involve quite so much spandex and the other pre-school mothers will judge me so hard if I were to just buy it.”

“I don’t think any of them will judge you,” Eileen said. “I imagine most of the costumes will be store bought.”

“Exactly!” Dis exclaimed. “I need to make sure Fili doesn’t look exactly like anyone else who happens to dress up as Simba.”

Eileen thought for a long moment. “Well, you don’t have to make a mane,” she finally said. “You can just arrange all that hair into one and spray it to heck. And I imagine you can paint whiskers on him with eyeliner…really, you just need to buy him a pair of yellow footie pajamas and add a tail and then get a headband with lion ears…”

Dis hummed. “I suppose that will work,” she said. “Now, if only Kili could choose something…”

“He’s two,” Eileen said. “I don’t think he’s going to care what you dress him as.”

*

“You’re gonna come trick-or-treat with us, right, Bofur?” Nori asked anxiously. The boys were all gathered in the front yard of the Durin house, watching Vili and Thorin rake leaves and waiting for them to go away so they could jump in the piles again.

“Of course!” Bofur said, his eyes shining. “I wouldn’t miss free candy!”

“What you goin’ as?” Fili asked.

“I’m gonna be the Red Ranger!” Bofur said excitedly, doing a few karate chops. “Off the telly! Mama’s takin’ me to get my costume next week!”

“My mama’s takin’ me tomorrow!” Nori said. “I’m gonna be Wolverine, from the X-Men!” He made a slashing motion with his fists.

“My mama’s makin’ my costume,” Fili said. “I’m gonna be Simba!” He let out what was supposed to be a roar, but it sounded more like a shriek, making Vili glance over in worry. Upon seeing there was no danger, though, he went back to work.

“Your mama likes doing everythin’ the hard way,” Nori observed.

Fili shrugged. “It’s cause she loves me,” he said. “Least, that’s what she says.”

“What’s Kili gonna be?” Bofur asked.

Kili looked up cutely and didn’t answer. He was still getting used to the idea of talking—his parents were okay, and Fili would of course respond to any desire, verbal or non-verbal, but other people had to do quite a bit of coaxing to get more than a tiny “Fi” out of him.

“Dunno,” Fili answered. “He hasn’t decided yet. What about Bombur?”

Bombur gave an equally cute but silent look and Bofur shrugged. “He hasn’t chosen, either.”

Across the yard, Vili stopped his work. He leaned on his rake, looking at the boys fondly.

Thorin paused beside him. “Are you about to talk me into escorting them for trick-or-treating?” he asked.

“Of course not,” Vili assured him. “That is very much a Dad Job. Though you’re welcome to come if you like.”

“No, thanks,” Thorin said drily. “I think you can handle this one on your own.”

“Won’t be on my own, Lori and Brian are coming,” Vili said. “And what are you planning to do that night?”

“Sit up and hand out candy, I guess,” Thorin said. “Balin and Dwalin both have plans, someone’s got to do it. And no, I’m not wearing a costume.”

“You’re scary enough without one,” Vili teased. Thorin socked his arm gently and they went back to work.

*

“What do you think?” Dis asked, putting the finishing touches on Fili’s makeup.

“I think that eyeliner will rub off by noon,” Vili answered.

“Well, it’s a good thing he comes home at noon,” Dis snapped. “But other than that?”

Vili chuckled. “Looks good to me,” he said. “You make a very fierce lion, Fili.”

Fili grinned and did his roar again. Vili and Dis had to work hard to hide their laughter.

“All right, Your Majesty, time to go,” Vili said.

Fili followed his father to the car, eager to show off at his preschool.

Something Dis was grateful for, because it gave her time to finish putting together a decent Spider-Man costume for Kili, who had finally made his decision three days before by pointing at the TV and saying “Wanna be Spi-Man.”

Three days was not enough time to sew a good Spider-Man costume, which was why Dis found herself at Wal-Mart, on a Monday, hoping against hope that there was still one in stock that would fit Kili. Thankfully, she had been able to pass Kili off to Betsy so she wouldn’t have to try and herd him through the store.

Amazingly, when she got to the Halloween display, there was still a rack of Spider-Man costumes there, and a quick rummage brought up one for a child of Kili’s size. Dis flinched at the price tag, but she did not have time to worry over such a thing. If nothing else, she could probably find some other kid to get use out of it once Kili was finished with it.

*

Vili was prepared for the boys to be excited when he got home from work. What he had failed to account for was the fact that Fili had been in preschool all day and was therefore already hyped up on sugar.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Fili cried as soon as Vili walked in the door. “I got first place for my costume and Mama got Kili his Spider-Man costume and he’s so cute and can we leave yet or do we have to wait til it gets darker outside, cause Nori and Bofur and Bombur will all be waiting and we wanna go soon before all the good candy’s gone so can we go please please please?”

“Slow down, Fi,” Vili said, keeping his voice calm. “Let me put my briefcase down and change my clothes first, okay? We’re not meeting your friends until six, so we have half-an-hour before that. Have you eaten dinner?”

Fili shook his head. “I’m not hungry,” he said.

“Well, then, you can certainly wait for candy,” Vili said. “Hello, Dis!” he called.

She appeared, looking extra frazzled from having to put up with two extra-hyper little boys all afternoon. “Put on some jeans and get them out of here,” she growled. “You don’t have to pick up the others, just get them out of here, please, so I can make myself presentable for the other trick-or-treaters.”

“All right, I’m going,” Vili said. “Fili, go make sure your brother’s ready to go.”

Fili darted off and Vili went up to change clothes, chuckling to himself.

*

“I’m getting too old for this,” Lori muttered, avoiding another plastic claw-strike.

Eileen clucked. “Nori, settle down,” she reprimanded. “And you are not too old for this. It’s the sacred duty of every able-bodied father to take his children trick-or-treating. Especially when he’s allowed chocolate but his wife isn’t.”

“All right, fair enough,” Lori said. “But only because I know you’ll be keeping up with him after he’s eaten all that sugar.”

“Oh, no I won’t,” she said. “I plan to send him across the street for the rest of the week.”

“Dad!” Nori whined. “Can we go now?”

“All right, I’m coming,” Lori said.

“Be good, Nori!” Eileen called after them as they headed out.

Lori kept a tight hold on his son’s hand as they went next door, where Vili and the boys had apparently been kicked out for a while and were waiting. Vili smiled at them. “Evening,” he said.

“Evening,” Lori answered. He smiled at the boys. “Hello, Fili, Kili.”

“Hi, Mr. Lori!” Fili said. He then turned his attention to Nori. “You look awesome!”

“So do you!” Nori said. “And so does Kili!”

Kili could not suck his thumb through the Spider-Man mask, though he looked like he wanted to try.

“Just waiting on the Mattocks boys, then,” Vili said. “Ah, there they are!”

Brian Mattocks was herding Bofur and Bombur across the street, Bofur resplendent in his Power Ranger costume and Bombur dressed as a little chef. Lori and Vili exchanged a look that clearly conveyed their level of “trying not to squee at how cute this is.”

Brian did not seem to share the sentiment, instead looking nearly as frazzled as their wives. “Are we ready to go then?” he asked.

“If we don’t, the boys will probably run off without us,” Vili answered. “Come on, then, stay together!”

They headed out into the night, dashing from house to house, the older boys calling out for sweets while the younger ones merely looked cute. The dads stood just off the porch, ready to intervene if anyone looked especially threatening.

They walked house to house for almost an hour, until the boys’ buckets were full of candy and they were starting to wind down a little. Kili was once again clinging to Fili, a sure sign that he was exhausted. Vili moved up and lifted Kili easily onto his hip.

“Think we’ve had enough?” he asked the boys.

“No,” Nori muttered sleepily. His father chuckled.

“I have,” he said. “Come on, let’s go home and show your mother what you got.”

The group wandered back to their street and went their separate ways. Vili carried Kili in one arm and held onto Fili’s hand in his.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Fili murmured as they went up the steps of their porch.

“Of course, little lion,” Vili said.


	10. Christmas Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas has come, and with it, all the annoyance of the season.

“Eileen, are you all right?”

Eileen looked up suddenly. “Hmm?” she hummed. “Oh…yes, I’m fine.”

Dis sat down across from her, looking very concerned. “You’re exhausted,” she said bluntly. “I know you’ve cut caffeine out, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Eileen was quiet for a moment before she took a shuddering breath. “I’m worried,” she said. “The baby…it’s not growing as much as it should be.”

Dis frowned in concern. “Have you told anyone?”

“My doctor,” Eileen said. “He says I just need to rest…but I don’t have the time, with Nori and all…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Dis demanded. “I can take Nori during the day, and I can put together a schedule for people to help in the evenings. You don’t have to do this on your own.”

Eileen shrugged. “I didn’t want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing by taking care of yourself,” Dis said. “We can help you. So let us.”

Eileen sighed deeply. “All right,” she said. “Though with the Christmas season…I know you’re all so busy…”

“We’re not too busy to help,” Dis assured her. “Now you go home and go to bed…I’ll pick the boys up and bring Nori home after the men get home.”

*

Christmas was not Thorin’s favorite time of year.

Oh, he enjoyed it well enough now, with the boys so happy and a very large family gathering to keep him from falling into despair, but the stress of the season got to him more often than not, almost enough to make him refuse Dis’s invitation to come in the morning and stay all day.

But he couldn’t do that. If he didn’t spend Christmas with his family, Balin and Dwalin would notice and then he’d probably be put under suicide watch or something tedious like that.

So Thorin was prepared to grin and bear it. What he was not prepared for was the very long list of things Dis handed him three weeks before Christmas.

“What’s this?” he asked in trepidation. Dis had pulled him out of earshot of the boys, which was never a good sign.

“Their wish lists,” she answered in an exhausted sort of voice. “They wrote their letters to Santa last night…in a manner of speaking…and I’ve put together a list of everything I know they want.”

Thorin groaned. “And I suppose you want me to play Father Christmas for them?”

“No,” Dis said. “That’s Balin’s job. I just wanted to help you with your shopping.”

“Right,” he muttered. “And how’s the guest list looking for dinner?”

Dis grinned. “Well, we’re having you and Balin and Dwalin, of course,” she said. “And the Scrivers are all coming, Eileen is in no condition to cook a full dinner…and I’ve invited the Mattockses, of course, and Oin is coming…I’ve asked Marnie, but she might be spending the day with her family and will probably drag Gloin with her if she does…”

“So basically everyone we know?” Thorin interrupted.

“Well, of course!” Dis said with a laugh. “It’s Christmas, Thorin! It’s the time to spend with everyone important to you! It wouldn’t be right if the house wasn’t full of people!”

“You’ve had Christmas without a party before,” Thorin pointed out.

“Not in a while,” Dis snapped. “And the last time we tried that…”

“Right,” Thorin interrupted quickly, not wanting to continue on that train of thought. He glanced at the list in his hand. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “Anything else you need?”

“Not immediately,” Dis said. “But I’ll let you know when we get closer.”

*

“Bofur, put your hat on!” Betsy scolded.

Bofur squirmed in her grasp. “Don’t like it,” he muttered. “It itches.”

“It keeps your ears warm,” Betsy snapped back. “I’ll not have you coming back in with frostbite.”

Bofur sighed, but allowed his mother to put the hat on him. “Can we go now?” he begged.

“All right, you can go,” Betsy said. “Bifur…”

“I know,” Bifur said. “Come on, lads, and be good now.”

Bofur and Bombur caught Bifur’s gloved hands and followed him outside and to the park, where Nori, Fili and Kili had already gathered and seemed to be occupied in building the world’s most elaborate snow fort, supervised by Dwalin, who looked like he would rather be doing anything else at the moment.

Bifur’s face split into a wide smile as he gestured for Bofur and Bombur to follow him. None of the other boys had noticed and a finger pressed to his lips was enough to keep Dwalin quiet. Bifur guided his cousins to a good vantage point on a hill. “All right, lads,” he said. “We need to start building, and we need to make sure we’re well-fortified.”

Bofur tilted his head. “What does for-ti-fied mean?” he asked, pronouncing the word carefully.

“It means we need to make sure we have a strong fort with enough snowballs to show those English boys who’s boss,” Bifur said with a grin. “So, Bombur, I need you to start making snowballs, and Bofur, I need you to help me build the snow up here.”

They moved quickly, building up a wall of snow around Bombur, who was content to roll snowballs with the same care he used on his Playdoh. Soon enough, there was a good-sized wall protecting them and Bifur quickly dropped to his knees and started making more snowballs as quickly as he could while Bofur peeked over the wall.

“I don’t think they’ve noticed us yet,” Bofur whispered. “But they’re well for-ti-fied, too.”

“All right,” Bifur muttered. “Switch to Gaelic for all communication from now on.”

“ _Yes, Cousin,_ ” Bofur whispered.

Bifur peeked over the wall himself. “ _On three, lads,_ ” he murmured. “ _One…two…three!_ ”

They started throwing their snowballs over the wall and down the hill. Bofur and Bombur’s didn’t get too far, though they did have gravity to help them, but Bifur was a skilled shot and managed to hit all three of the smaller boys. There were shrieks in response, followed by the three small boys starting to throw snowballs back at them. Most missed, but to Bifur’s surprise, Kili managed to whack him in the face with a particularly well-aimed shot.

“That’s not fair!” Fili yelled. “You have Bifur, who’s bigger than all of us!”

“Yeah, but he can’t side with you, he’s our cousin!” Bofur called back.

“Told you we should have called Dori,” Fili muttered.

“He wouldn’t come, he’s got tests,” Nori answered.

“Right. Second assault!” Fili commanded. They started throwing more snowballs, with varying degrees of accuracy.

“ _Fire at will!_ ” Bifur called. Bofur and Bombur started throwing more snowballs in earnest. Bifur threw a few, but quickly stopped under the pretext of making more. He didn’t want to be too hard on the boys, after all.

“Over the wall, Kili!” Fili ordered. “Nori, keep the snowballs stocked and cover our backs!”

“Aye, aye, sir!” Nori called. Dwalin suppressed a smile at them all.

“ _Go on, lads!_ ” Bifur ordered. “ _Meet them head on and show no mercy!_ ”

Bofur and Bombur clambered over their wall and started running down, throwing snowballs as they went. Fili and Kili responded in kind and it wasn’t long before they were all caught in a lot of flying snow. After a minute of watching, Nori leaped the wall as well and joined in, tackling Bofur to the ground and wrestling with him in the snow. Bombur responded by tackling Kili, which of course got Fili wrestling him as well, after which it dissolved into chaos in which all the boys got very, very wet.

Bifur stepped over the wall of snow and went to join Dwalin. “Good day?” he asked.

Dwalin shrugged. “Can’t complain. Have it off, Dis is paying me to watch the boys while she does her gift shopping. You?”

“About the same without the money,” Bifur answered. He glanced at the wrestling match, where it seemed that Bofur had just managed to pour a lot of snow down the back of Nori’s coat. “When should we separate them?”

“When it’s time to go in,” Dwalin said. “I doubt there will be any lasting damage done.”

Indeed, half-an-hour later the boys had all grown tired and were now content to simply lie in the snow, gasping for breath. Bifur judged that a good opportunity to interrupt.

“Come on, lads,” he called. “We should get inside before you all get sick.”

They slowly began to struggle to their feet, all very wet and starting to shiver. Dwalin and Bifur got them moving and led them back home.

“Might as well come in here,” Dwalin said, nodding to the Durin house. “Help get them all settled together.”

Once inside, Bifur set about getting the boys out of their wet clothes while Dwalin went to make cocoa for all of them. By the time both were done, all five boys were starting to fade fast. They all managed to drink their cocoa without spilling it, which was a plus, before all curling up and falling asleep on the living room floor.

“They are kind of cute,” Dwalin muttered. “When they’re quiet.”

Bifur hummed in agreement.

*

“Keep the boys inside for the next hour,” Vili muttered.

Dis grinned at him. “Going to hang the lights?” she asked.

“Yes,” Vili answered. “And it will go much faster if they aren’t outside trying to help.”

“But hanging lights is a family activity!” Dis argued, mischief shining in her eyes. “How can you expect Fili to ever be man of a house if he doesn’t learn how to do it early?”

“He’s four years old,” Vili snapped. “He’ll have plenty of time to learn to do it later on.”

“He’s also spent the last few days of preschool learning how to use 911,” Dis pointed out. “And he’d love an opportunity to practice!”

Vili grabbed his coat and left the house, muttering about troublesome wives with nothing better to do than cause him grief. Dis giggled to herself and returned to the living room, where Fili and Kili were making Christmas cards for everyone they knew.

The amount of glitter covering her carpet was almost enough to make her regret teasing Vili.

“What’s Daddy doing?” Fili asked, looking up from his work.

“Hanging the Christmas lights,” Dis answered. “And he wants you two to stay inside until he’s finished.”

Fili pouted. “But I could help!”

“I know you could,” Dis said soothingly. “But Daddy has a plan and it’s easier for him to implement it on his own.”

Kili tugged on Fili’s shirt sleeve and Fili asked, “What does impl-ment mean?”

“It means he’s going to make his plan happen,” Dis explained patiently. “So you two just keep making your cards, and tomorrow we’re going to go get a tree.”

“Okay.” Fili went back to work, leaning over and very carefully writing Thorin’s name on a card with his blue marker.

*

“Good morning, Dr. Farin.”

Oin looked up in consternation. “Good morning, Mrs. Smith,” he said in return. “How can I help you?”

Peg smiled benignly at Oin. It was an expression she’d been practicing in secret all week. “Well, I’ve got a very large order coming in,” she said. “It’s for Bifur, for Christmas, and I can’t think where to put it where he won’t find out before then. So I wanted to know if I could use your garage.”

Oin blinked. “How big are we talking?” he asked.

Peg glanced up and down the street before she leaned in. “Well, he’s a musician, see, and he was very upset that I didn’t want to ship a piano across the Atlantic…”

“Understood,” Oin said. “Well, if it’s for your boy, I suppose we can make that happen. Just have it delivered here, and we’ll help you take it home before Christmas morning.”

“Thank you, Dr. Farin,” Peg said. “And we’ll see you at Christmas dinner?”

“Of course,” Oin assured her. “Dis would never forgive me if I missed it and didn’t have a pretty girl to introduce the next week.”

Peg laughed and headed home.

*

“You want me to do what?”

Dis pouted at her brother. “Help us pick out a Christmas tree,” she said. “And decorate it with us.”

Thorin blinked. “So…you want me to go out to the woods, in ten degree weather with six inches of snow on the ground, chop down a tree, drag it back here, and then put little glittery things on it, with Fili and Kili running circles around me the entire time and probably getting sticky substances in my hair?”

“It’s tradition!” Dis insisted. “And they really want it! And I know that you’re not getting a tree for your house, so you might as well come help with ours!”

“You do have a husband,” Thorin grumbled.

“And he fell off the roof yesterday and only got three stitches, so you’re up.” She gave him her best puppy-eyes. The ones Kili had inherited.

Thorin sighed. “Fine,” he said. “But you owe me!”

Dis smiled so widely that Thorin almost took it back.

“Oh, and by the way,” she said as Thorin grabbed his coat and followed her out the door. “I also have Nori today, and he’s going to help us as well!”

Thorin tried to turn and go back into the house, but Dis had already got hold of his scarf and simply pulled him along.

“Brat,” he muttered.

*

_“On the sixth day of Christmas,_

_My true love gave to me,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!”_

Thorin was ready to bash his head against the steering wheel. Or possibly Dis’s, he hadn’t decided yet.

He looked at his sister, who was sitting in the passenger seat and singing with the boys at the top of her lungs, which was enough to fill the entire car with noise.

Dis only grinned at him and launched into the next verse, barely stopping for air. Fili and Nori went right along with her, their voices loud and off-key, and while some people might find that cute, Thorin just found it really obnoxious.

_“On the twelfth day of Christmas,_

_My true love gave to me…”_

Really, really obnoxious.

At least Kili was quiet, due to not knowing most of the words, though that didn’t stop him from occasionally shouting out “rings” with the others. Thorin clutched the steering wheel and reminded himself that breaking the tape deck would not stop Dis from continuing. Crashing the car might, but he didn’t want to hurt the kids, especially since none of them were his.

_“And a partridge in a pear tree!”_

Thorin breathed a sigh of relief when the song came to an end. The next one on the tape was much slower, much nicer, much less annoying and far beyond the vocabulary of kindergarteners.

“Again!” Kili shrieked from the back.

Dis reached for the rewind button and Thorin slapped her hand away. “No,” he said firmly. “We’re going to listen to the other songs on this tape now.”

“But this song is boring!” Fili whined. “You can’t sing along with it!”

“Sure you can,” Thorin said. He waited for the next verse and joined in with the singer.

_“Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

_Make the Yuletide gay._

_From now on, our troubles_

_Will be miles away…”_

The boys quieted immediately when Thorin started singing. Dis smiled softly and joined in on the bridge.

_“Here we are as in olden days,_

_Happy golden days of yore…”_

Well. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

*

_“On the eighth day of Christmas,_

_My true love gave to me…”_

Thorin stared at the road ahead, focusing on handling the car with an extra thirty pounds strapped to it, wondering what recent sin he had committed to deserve this and reflecting that wanting to strangle John Denver was probably not a very Christmas-y thought.

*

“Careful with these, now!” Dis said. “They’re easily breakable!”

“I know, Mama,” Fili said. He and Nori knelt by the box she handed them and started putting ornaments haphazardly on the tree.

Thorin took the next box, the one with the very expensive ornaments that would go higher up on the tree, where they were less likely to get knocked off. At Dis’s pointed look, he sighed and smiled at the boys. “So have you given any thought as to what you want for Christmas, Nori?” he asked.

Nori nodded eagerly. “I want a bike,” he said. “And for the baby to get here quicker.”

Thorin raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s going to happen,” he said. “Besides, don’t you need more time to prepare?”

Nori shrugged. “Maybe,” he said. “But Mama’s real sick cause of it, and I want her to feel better, and she says the baby’s sick too, and I don’t want him to be sick, and I wanna be able to make it better.”

Thorin blinked. That was a much more mature response than he would have expected. “That’s very nice of you,” he said blankly.

Dis smiled at Nori. “Don’t you worry about your mama,” she said. “Dr. Farin is taking very good care of her, and we’re all right here to help. And you’ve been very good about letting her rest.”

Nori nodded, but he looked sad. “I just want her to feel better,” he said. “She’s not happy cause she feels bad and it’s Christmas and she wants to do all this and I want her to do it with us…” His lip was starting to tremble.

Fili instantly turned to his friend. “She’s gonna get better,” he said, pure four-year-old conviction in his voice. “And until then, you can share my mama and do everythin’ with us.” He glanced at the couch, where Kili was watching the proceedings with wide-eyed wonder. “And you can share Kili and practice being a good big brother.”

Nori started smiling again. “You mean it?” he asked.

“Yeah!” Fili declared.

Nori glanced at Dis. “Is that okay?” he asked, almost shy.

Dis blinked back tears, but smiled. “Of course,” she said. “You’re always welcome here.”

Nori jumped up and hugged Dis around the knees. She patted his head absently and nodded approvingly at Fili.

Thorin made a mental note to consult with Nori’s parents about that bike as quickly as possible.

*

Christmas day dawned bright and cold, with the shrieks of young boys penetrating every room.

“Mama!” Bofur bounded into the master bedroom, Bombur at his heels. “Daddy! Wake up! Wake up! It’s Christmas!”

Brian groaned. “It’s six AM,” he mumbled.

“But it’s Christmas!” Bofur was vibrating out of his skin. “Please can’t we get up and open presents now? Please?”

“Bofur, what were the rules we discussed last night?” Betsy asked, managing to sit up.

Bofur deflated a bit. “No sooner than 6:30, no presents until the grown-ups have coffee, no candy until after breakfast.”

“Exactly,” Betsy said. “So it’s half-an-hour too early, and there’s certainly no coffee yet.”

Bofur’s eyes grew comically wide, as did Bombur’s. Betsy sighed a bit. “Tell you what,” she said. “Why don’t you two come up here and wait for Daddy to get his brain put in?”

Bofur giggled and crawled up on the bed before helping pull Bombur up. They moved into a comfortable position beside their mother, who smiled at them. “Now be quiet,” she said. “And we’ll go down when Daddy can function.”

“Which will be sometime next week,” Brian grumbled from the other side of the bed, where he had buried his head under his pillow.

“Next week?” Bofur gasped. “But Christmas is today!”

“How about that,” Brian muttered. “Looks like you’ll have to go on without me. How tragic.”

Bofur poked his dad. “You’re so silly.”

Brian sat up suddenly and grabbed Bofur in a quick tickle attack. “Not as silly as you,” he teased as Bofur shrieked and giggled. Betsy caught Bombur up in the same treatment, all four of them laughing uproariously.

There was a quick knock on the door and Peg stuck her head in. “I thought you said we could sleep til 6:30,” she complained.

“Ah, but Peg, we just caught these little monsters!” Betsy called, continuing to tickle Bombur, who was squirming and laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. “Can’t let a fine catch go to waste this early!”

“ _Rascals,_ ” Peg muttered. “And were you planning to let the rest of us sleep in at all?”

Brian put Bofur down and grinned at his sister-in-law. “How can anyone sleep in a house with these two?” he asked. “Especially on Christmas?”

“Bifur can,” Peg snapped. “And what are you two even doing awake?”

Bofur looked up at his aunt with the same wide-eyed look he’d used on his mother. “It’s Christmas!” he said, as though that explained everything.

“Of course it is,” Peg muttered. “I’ll make coffee.”

Half-an-hour later, the coffee was made and Peg called up the stairs for the boys to go wake their cousin and come downstairs.

Bifur was a bit harder to move than their parents, but Bofur bounced in, his energy never flagging. “Wake up, Bifur!” he called.

“Go away,” Bifur mumbled.

“But it’s Christmas!”

“I don’t care.”

Bofur jumped on the bed. “Come on!” he said. “Mama says we can’t start without you!”

Bifur groaned. “I don’t care,” he muttered.

“But Mama said!” Bofur shook Bifur. “Please?”

Bifur sighed. “Is there coffee?” he asked.

“Uhhuh!” Bofur shook him again. “Come on!”

Bifur groaned and slowly got out of bed, grabbing Bofur as he did and tossing him over his shoulder. “All right, we’re going,” he said. “And maybe hanging upside-down for a few minutes will teach you to let people sleep!”

Bofur giggled as Bifur carried him downstairs. “Ma, coffee,” Bifur called.

“Put your cousin down first, we don’t need one of you getting burned.” Peg was smiling, though, which Bifur took as a good sign.

Bifur did as he was told and shuffled over to accept the coffee cup. His mother ruffled his hair. “Come on,” she said. “Before the lads faint from excitement.”

Bifur was not prepared for the piano. Nor were the boys, but Bifur turned his eyes on his mother.

She smiled at him “Merry Christmas, love.”

He hugged her tighter than ever.

*

“Dori?”

Dori turned over and looked to the door. “Hmm?”

Nori crept into the room and over to the bed. “It’s Christmas.”

Dori sat up. “So it is.”

Nori hesitated. “I don’t wanna wake Mama up if she’s still sick…”

Dori sighed. He knew that Eileen wasn’t doing well, but they had all tried not to let Nori see it too much. But of course he had. Children were always more perceptive than they were given credit for. “Let’s give her a few minutes to wake up on her own.” He gestured to the bed and Nori crawled up next to him. “I know she’ll be happy to have Christmas with you when she’s up.”

Nori cuddled into Dori’s side. “I asked Santa to make her better,” he whispered. “Do you think he listened?”

Dori swallowed heavily. Eileen may not have been his mother, but they were friendly and he certainly didn’t want Nori to go through life without a mom like he had. “I’m sure he did,” Dori answered carefully. “But not even Santa can fix everything right away.” He did his best to smile. “But she’s going to get better. In a few months, the baby will be born and she’ll feel better.”

“Why’s the baby makin’ her sick?” Nori asked. “I thought it was supposed to be a good thing.”

“It is,” Dori said. “But Dr. Farin said the baby is sick as well...and since they’re sharing a body, that’s making both of them ill.”

Nori pouted. “I still don’t understand,” he said.

“Neither do we,” Dori said. “Sometimes, these things just happen and we have to keep going in spite of them.” He hugged Nori for a moment before he smiled. “Now, come on,” he said. “Let’s get Dad some coffee made.”

*

“This house was not meant to hold twenty people at a time.”

Balin gave Thorin a severe look. Dinner had just finished, and the men had volunteered to take the children out of the kitchen while the dishes were washed. “Maybe not, but it’s making Dis happy,” he said. “You know how she loves to be surrounded by people.”

Thorin suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “I know,” he said. “But this is a bit…excessive, don’t you think?”

Balin looked around. The house was certain noisy, with so many people talking and the boys all getting underfoot, but he couldn’t see anything excessive. “I think it’s fine,” he said. “It’s actually nice, having friends. Family. Nice dinner. Not being shut away from it all.”

Thorin grumbled to himself, but raised no further complaints, instead choosing to keep an eye on the children, who were doing their best to con as many adults out of sugar as possible. So far, they seemed to be succeeding. Thorin wondered if it was too cold to put them outside for a little while when the rush hit.

Back in the kitchen, the women, assisted by a rather startled Bifur, were all grumbling to themselves.

“This is why I gave up on Christmas,” Peg confessed. “Too difficult getting help back here.”

Dis shrugged. “They’re keeping the little ones out of the way. That’s good enough. And it’s more efficient with fewer people.” She passed a plate to Bifur, who dried and stacked it without complaint.

Eileen was sitting at the table, since Dis had insisted she not exert herself. She was a bit pale, but she seemed more energetic than she had in days. Her eyes kept darting back toward the door. “Do you think the boys are all right?” she asked. “I mean, we left them with people with little self-control and way too much sugar.”

“They’re fine,” Bifur said. “I’ll take them outside when we’re done here and run them down a bit.”

“I’m more concerned about our poor husbands,” Eileen said drily. “Did any of them wake up before noon after Halloween?”

“You worry too much,” Peg said. “They are ten of them against five boys.”

“There are ten of them against Nori and Bofur,” Eileen corrected.

“We handle it every day,” Betsy said. “Nothing is going to happen.”

Eileen and Dis exchanged a look. “Ten minutes until they break something expensive?” Eileen asked.

“Five,” Dis said. “Thorin’s in charge.” She sighed. “Let’s hope it’s just a nativity piece and not the entire tree this year.”

Betsy and Peg turned, looking extremely concerned. “Does that happen often?” Betsy asked.

Eileen looked at her pointedly. “When you put Nori in the same room as anything that’s easily broken, it’s going to break. My best hope is that this year someone will keep an eye on him and he’ll stay with the other boys.”

There was a crash from the other room and Dis sighed. “Too late.”

“I’ll deal with it,” Betsy said, and she left the kitchen.

Eileen looked to Dis. “I don’t think I’m ready for another one,” she said.

Dis put down the plates and went to her friend. “You’re going to be fine,” she said.

Betsy stuck her head back through the door. “How many of the ornaments should I try to save?”

Eileen raised her eyebrows and Dis only sighed.


	11. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bifur offers to teach Bofur and Nori to play piano.

_1996_

_We’ll go no more a-roving,_

_A-roving in the night,_

_We’ll go no more a roving,_

_Let the moon shine so bright!_

_We’ll go no more a-roving._

Bofur watched his cousin in wonder. He remembered Bifur playing the piano for them all back in Ireland, with his father occasionally sitting down and playing the second part, leading them all in long and raucous sing-alongs that would go on well past Bofur’s bedtime, though no one would make him actually go to bed when they were having that much fun.

But Peg hadn’t been willing to ship a piano across the Atlantic, and so theirs had been sold. Bifur didn’t object, though Bofur could tell he was sad about it. But now, they had a new piano, albeit a second-hand one, and even if no one sat down to sing together anymore, Bifur still played every chance he got.

Bifur finished a last little riff for the song and Bofur clapped in delight. Bifur smiled down at him. “Would you like to learn?” he asked unexpectedly.

Bofur’s eyes widened. “You gonna teach me?” he asked.

“Sure, why not?” Bifur said. “I started when I was about your age.” He patted the bench next to him. “Come on up.”

Bofur clambered up onto the bench. His feet didn’t reach the floor yet, but Bifur only smiled. “You don’t have to worry about pedals yet,” he said. He took Bofur’s right hand and guided it to the middle of the piano. “This is middle C,” he said. “It’s the main key. And the one above it is D, and the one above that is E.”

He guided Bofur’s hand so that his fingers curved, thumb on the C. He then nodded and Bofur pressed the keys tentatively.

“Good,” Bifur said. “So, if this is C-D-E, can you guess the rest of the keys?”

Bofur’s brow furled. “F-G-H?” he guessed.

“Almost,” Bifur said. “It’s F-G-A-B.” He played up the scale. “There’s only seven notes. A through G.”

“Why are there only seven when there are so many keys?” Bofur asked. “Couldn’t they all have a different name?”

“Because they make the same sounds.” Bifur played the middle C then the one above. “You hear that? It’s the same note, only higher.”

Bofur nodded.

“Okay,” Bifur said. “Let’s play up the scale. C, D, E.”

Bofur played the notes carefully, moving up the piano from one C to the next.

*

“You have to practice every day if you want to be good,” Bifur had said. “Even if you just play scales for an hour. Your fingers need to get used to moving.”

Bofur took the words to heart. That meant that after the first day back to school, Bofur was eager to run all the way home. Unfortunately, his mother stopped him.

“We’re picking up Nori and Fili as well,” she snapped. “You’ve got to wait.”

“Nori’s coming,” Bofur mumbled, but he waited with his mother until Nori came over.

“Hello, Nori,” Betsy said.

“Hi, Mrs. Mattocks,” Nori mumbled.

“Is everything all right?” she asked as they headed toward the preschool down the street.

Nori shrugged. Bofur knew what was wrong, but he wasn’t going to say anything if Nori didn’t want to talk about it.

Instead, he moved closer. “You wanna come watch me practice the piano?” he asked. “Bifur’s been showing me how to play.”

Nori looked up in interest. “Yeah!” he said. “If you’ll show me.”

Bofur glanced up at his mother, who smiled at them. “If it’s all right with Bifur,” she said. “It’s his instrument, after all.”

The boys nodded and followed Betsy obediently.

*

Bifur was more than happy to teach Nori as well as Bofur. It served the double purpose of keeping Nori out of the house so his mother could rest and keeping him occupied so he wasn’t taking out his worry on everyone else.

Bifur offered to teach Fili as well, and they got a few lessons in before Fili lost interest. Bifur didn’t blame him. Very few things could hold Fili’s attention to begin with, and most of those things revolved around Kili. Fili was content to listen to his friends playing while he worked on his alphabet, or entertained Bombur and Kili.

And really, for such small boys, Bofur and Nori weren’t bad at playing. Their hands were too small to do anything really complicated, but they managed with the simple books that Bifur had left over from his childhood and couldn’t bear to part with.

They usually practiced together, Bofur playing the right hand while Nori played the left, and then trading off. Bifur would supervise to make sure they didn’t starting fighting, and as the weeks went on, they got to the point where they could play several simple pieces and not make too many mistakes.

But the best times were still when Bofur and Nori grew tired of practicing and would move to the floor with the others while Bifur took over, playing the old Irish songs he had grown up with, songs that were loud and fast and probably inappropriate for such young ears, though any double meanings flew right over their heads. Bofur would sing along, and he taught Nori the words to his favorite songs and Fili picked them up quickly.

Sometimes, Betsy and Peg would come in and join in the ruckus, and there was music and laughter in their home, and Bifur could be content with that.


	12. Baby Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, a baby just won't wait any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: non-graphic allusions to the birthing process.

January passed into February in much the same way that every winter passes in Minnesota: cold. The snow was thick and the ice thicker, the wind brisk and bitter. Doors remained unlocked for fear that the locks would freeze, children remained in their winter wrappings, and everyone on the street with a job was seen spending at least half an hour digging their cars out of the driveways every morning.

This did not suit Dis at all, because her worry for Eileen was growing with every passing day. If Eileen had seemed tired before, it was nothing compared to now. She had finally been confined to bed, in the hopes that nothing would go horribly wrong for the next four weeks.

The boys all knew. Dis didn’t know how, but they all knew something was wrong. Even Kili looked up one night and said, “Mama sad.” Vili and Thorin would ask without words, in their looks over the dinner table, but she always shook her head. There was nothing she could do now but wait.

And they all knew Dis hated waiting.

*

If Dis hated waiting, Lori Scriver hated it more. He was the type of man who had a schedule and stuck to it. Everything needed to be done in its proper time, with the exact attention to detail it required, and absolutely no hiccups along the way. And if there were, they must be corrected instantly.

But even he had his limits. He knew that the birth of his third child wasn’t scheduled until March, and he would have been content to wait, if only his wife wasn’t struggling and he still had the energy for Nori.

It was made more difficult to watch by the fact that when Lori looked at Eileen, he still saw the energetic twenty-year-old she had been when they first met. Young, so much younger than him, but so much wiser than he could ever hope to be. It wasn’t just that Eileen was pretty. She made Lori feel alive in a way he hadn’t been since losing his first wife.

And now that she was so weak, struggling so hard, he was afraid. And fear made him impatient.

*

An impatient father was not something Nori could handle.

He was only five, after all, and his father had never exactly been the nurturing type. Oh, he was kind enough, in his way, but he was much more prone to shouting when something went horribly wrong than Eileen was, and much less adept at listening to Nori’s rambling accounts of the day without sighing impatiently.

This was true even before Eileen grew ill. When she was put on permanent bedrest, Lori grew even more irritable.

Nori learned to tiptoe around the house, and not speak above a whisper. He spent a lot more time coloring than playing with his trucks, and a lot more dinners staring at his plate rather than try to tell his father anything. Nori looked forward to his afternoons with Bifur and Bofur, where he was allowed to sing and play piano and be as loud as he liked, because the silence in his own house was stifling.

He asked Dis why his father was so angry once, when Dis came by to pick up the laundry.

“He’s not angry with you,” Dis said firmly. “He’s just scared.”

“What’s Daddy got to be scared of?” Nori asked. “He’s big and could beat up anything except maybe Mr. Dwalin, and he’s not scared of anything.”

Dis suppressed a laugh. “He’s scared because your mama is sick,” she explained patiently. “He’s scared and worried for the same reasons you are, and he doesn’t know how to act around you because of it.”

Nori was quiet for a while. “Dori’s mama was real sick and she died,” he said. “Is my mama gonna die?”

Dis sucked in a breath. “No,” she said. “She’s not going to die. She’s going to be fine. But your daddy is thinking about Dori’s mama, and he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to yours.”

“But it’s not gonna, you just said,” Nori said.

“I know,” Dis said. “But fear does funny things to people. Even when they know things are going to be all right, they still get scared.”

Nori nodded. “Is it gonna be done soon?” he asked.

“Soon,” Dis assured him. “Until then…try not to be too upset with your daddy. He’s doing his best.”

*

There were many things Eileen knew. She loved her son, and her husband. She got along with her stepson, even though she was painfully aware that she was an outsider in his life. Dis Durin was her best friend, and Eileen could trust her.

And she also knew that her baby, her new baby, was not going to wait another four weeks.

She was right. It was barely after Valentine’s Day, a messy glittery card from Nori stuck on the fridge and the way-too-expensive-though-she-pretended-not-to-notice flowers from her husband still in a vase on the table, when she knew the time was soon.

It took more strength than she cared to admit to reach to the bedside and find the phone that her husband had insisted in moving there in case of emergencies. It was with less hesitation than she would ever mention that the first number she called was the Durins’.

Dis picked up on the second ring. Eileen gasped out “Dis. Eileen. Water broke. Hospital. Now.” She wasn’t in pain yet, but it should be coming soon and she needed to steel herself.

“Five minutes,” Dis said in return, and the call cut off.

*

“Kili, get into your boots,” Dis ordered as soon as she put the phone down.

Kili abandoned his blocks and toddled over to the door. He must have sensed his mother’s urgency, because he stepped into the little boots obediently while Dis put his coat on him. She grabbed her own coat, purse and boots and then put Kili on her hip and bolted out the door.

Dis ran across the street, Kili clinging to her neck, and she pounded on the door. Betsy opened it a minute later, looking very alarmed.

“Eileen’s going into labor,” she said without preamble. “It’s too early and we need to go. Can you take Kili and pick up the boys? I don’t know when we’ll be home.”

“Got it,” Betsy said, taking Kili. Kili looked like he wanted to cry at being passed off on someone else, but Dis only pecked him on the head.

“Mama has to go help Mrs. Eileen,” she said. “You be good, okay?”

Kili stuck his thumb in his mouth and Dis took that as a good sign. She turned and ran back across the street.

Eileen was already downstairs and waiting. She was shaky on her feet, after so long on bedrest, but she didn’t seem to be in pain yet.

“My car or yours?” Dis asked, throwing Eileen’s coat to her.

“Better take yours,” she said. “I’m going to leave mine for Dori.”

“You got it.” Dis took Eileen’s elbow and guided her out the door.

*

_Dori, it’s Dis. Eileen’s having her baby early. Your dad is coming to the hospital, so we need you to get Nori from the Mattockses when you get out of class and keep him for the weekend. Eileen left her car keys on the counter for you. And for the love of God, order dinner and do not attempt to cook it!_

_Vili, it’s your wife. I’m with Eileen and Lori and may not be home for a while, so you boys are on your own. Don’t give them too much sugar and call back if I’m gone for more than twenty-four hours. Keep an eye on Thorin._

_Thorin, it’s me. Don’t forget to go to your doctor’s appointment tomorrow and make sure Vili doesn’t do anything incredibly stupid in the next day or two._

Dis fished the last quarter out of her purse and dialed Betsy’s number.

“Hello?”

“Betsy?” Dis tried to sound business-like. “It’s Dis.”

“Oh, good.” Betsy’s voice was artificially light. “How’s she doing?”

“We’re mostly just waiting,” Dis answered. “The doctors are debating whether to induce labor or have a C-section.”

“Is she alone?

“Of course not,” Dis said. “She told them I’m her cousin and her husband is on his way. I just stepped out to make phone calls. But we don’t know how long we’ll be here, and I’m not leaving until I’m sure they’re all going to be okay, so…this is hard to ask, but can you keep the boys during the afternoons until further notice?”

“Of course,” Betsy said immediately. “And I’ll keep your husband fed as well.”

“I can’t ask you to—”

“Then don’t ask.” Betsy’s voice was still light, but Dis could tell there would be no argument. “You’re going to need strength, and if you run out, the boys will need him. We’ll keep them all safe until you return.”

Dis closed her eyes. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll let you know when we have an update.”

“Don’t worry, love,” Betsy said. “We’ll all be fine. Now you get in there and keep our dear Mrs. Scriver from strangling a doctor.”

Dis laughed and hung up the phone. She headed into the hospital café for a cup of coffee and then returned to Eileen’s room.

Eileen was sitting up, her eyes closed. She was pale, but her mouth did quirk up a bit when Dis approached. “That Jem’s?” she asked.

“Nah, just regular shitty hospital coffee,” Dis answered.

“Stand real close,” Eileen ordered. “The smell alone helps.”

Dis complied, sitting as close to the bed as she could get without actually being on it. “Anything yet?” she asked.

Eileen shook her head. “Doctors are still arguing over what to do. They haven’t been able to get hold of Oin yet.”

“Figures,” Dis muttered. “The one time we actually need him and he’s nowhere to be found.” She did her best to smile. “Still…least this one’s eager. And the second birth is always faster than the first.”

Eileen snorted. “Better be faster. Nori was a week late and took twenty-six hours to actually be born.”

Dis laughed. “Well, at least we know it won’t be stubborn. Must have finally gotten the right mix there.”

Eileen laughed as well, but stopped quickly. “Do you think…” She struggled to find the words. “Will we be all right?”

“Of course,” Dis said immediately. “All of you will.”

“It’s just…I’m scared.” Her eyes were starting to fill with tears. “It’s too early, and it’s been so hard…I’m afraid one of us won’t make it.”

Dis’s jaw tightened. “That’s not going to happen,” she said. “I’m not letting either of you not make it. Promise.”

Eileen took Dis’s hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

*

Betsy had never seen a room full of small children look so tense.

To be fair, none of them really understood what having a baby entailed—she doubted they had ever so much as heard the word “vagina” before. But they did understand “hospital”, and “absent parents”, and “very real if extremely small possibility of death.”

It did not make for a fun afternoon.

Betsy stood by the kitchen counter looking out into the living room, waiting for the phone to ring with updates. The boys weren’t doing much. Kili and Bombur were both scribbling on bits of paper, while Fili and Bofur looked at picture books. Nori wasn’t doing anything but rocking back and forth, staring at the wall and trying not to cry.

Eventually, Bofur closed his book and scooted closer to Nori. “You wanna practice piano with me?” he asked.

Nori shook his head. He glanced at the other boys before he leaned close and whispered something to Bofur, who nodded in understanding. They didn’t say anything else, but Bofur retrieved his book and put it down in front of both of them.

Peg arrived home from her job around three, several grocery bags in hand. Betsy raised her eyebrows. “Didn’t know we were shopping today,” she commented, moving to help her sister put things away.

Peg gave her sister a hard look. “Vili came in for lunch,” she explained. “And he told me that Eileen’s having her baby and that Dis is with her. Figured we’d be having a few more for dinner.”

“Right,” Betsy muttered. “Better get started, then. When’s Bifur home?”

Peg shrugged. “He said something this morning about a dance. Probably off with some of his friends. He’ll let me know if he’ll be home.”

Betsy shook her head. She knew that Bifur was capable of looking after himself, and she trusted him with the kids, but she wasn’t sure that she’d ever be comfortable letting Bofur or Bombur just run off without knowing where they were or when they’d be home.

She glanced back at the boys, who were all still sitting quietly. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Kili hold still for so long, but all it took was a gentle touch to the knee from his brother when he got too fidgety. Fili never even looked up from his book.

Peg moved closer to Betsy. “How’s Nori doing?” she whispered.

“Scared,” Betsy whispered back. “Probably feeling a bit abandoned, and that’s not going to improve if his parents don’t come home soon.”

“We keeping him here?”

“At least until Dori can get away from school. And even then, we might want to keep them a little longer, if Eileen’s stories are true.”

“They usually are.” Peg’s cheeks dimpled. “Did he really have to call the fire department over a frozen pizza?”

Betsy laughed. “I was here for that one!” she said. “Thankfully the lads weren’t.” She and Peg laughed for a minute before they grew serious again. “What are we going to feed all of them?” Betsy asked.

“Soup and sandwiches, they’ll all be coming in and out starting at five.” Peg was already moving into the kitchen to start boiling broth. Bombur, noticing that there was food being cooked, abandoned his coloring and wandered over to observe.

Betsy smiled indulgently down at her youngest son. “Can’t wait til you get big enough to help with this,” she said. Bombur only watched her with wide eyes, fascinated as she organized the cold cuts.

*

“Anything?” Dis asked, returning to the hospital room.

“I take back what I said about this kid not being stubborn,” Eileen snapped.

Lori didn’t say anything. He was sitting beside his wife, looking very pale. It was a mark of how scared Eileen was that she hadn’t whapped him yet.

“Doctors still not going to induce?” Dis asked.

“They want me to wait twenty-four hours first.” Eileen was not impressed. “I told them it’s not due for four weeks, but they said there might have been a miscalculation in the due date.”

Dis rolled her eyes and took her seat. She observed Lori for a minute before she snapped her fingers at him. “Hey,” she said.

Lori jumped and looked up, as though not even aware she was there. “What?” he said.

“Have you eaten?”

“No?”

Eileen and Dis exchanged a look. “Go eat, Lori.” Eileen ordered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But what if something happens?”

“Then we’ll have someone find you,” Dis said.

“And I need you to bring me something as well!” Eileen called as Lori scrambled to leave. She looked back to Dis and shook her head. “How did men survive in the wild?”

*

Vili arrived at five-thirty, Dori a little behind him. Betsy immediately told them both to sit down and eat, they already had dinner made and it would be easier on all the boys to keep them together.

Dori glanced at his brother, still looking at books with Bofur. He wasn’t sure how well either could read, but they seemed to be enjoying it. “How is he?” he asked Betsy in an undertone.

She sighed. “Better than he was a few hours ago,” she said. “Missing his parents. Scared they aren’t coming back. Usual.”

Dori sighed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he admitted. “I mean…I know, you guys, you had kids when you were my age, and I can look after a whole dorm of teenagers, but…”

“You’ll be fine,” Betsy assured him. “We’ve got dinner for you, and you two can stay here until they all pass out, and by morning there should be news.”

“And then what?” Dori’s eyes were wide with worry and his voice was rising in volume, though not enough for the boys to notice. “Keep him occupied for God knows how long while my dad sits and worries, knowing that this might not turn out perfectly?”

Vili, who had been sitting nearby sipping at a cup of coffee, finally turned to them. “Dori,” he said. “Breathe in and out ten times and then ask that question again.”

Dori looked at Vili, who only quirked his eyebrows in a familiar way before Dori did as he was told. He certainly seemed calmer once he had finished taking deep breaths. Vili pointed to a chair and Dori sat down instantly.

“Now,” Vili said, using the same measured calm he normally reserved for Fili and Kili in their most difficult moments. “What makes you think you can’t babysit Nori for one weekend? You’ve taken care of him before and haven’t managed to kill, lose, or permanently injure him yet.”

“Yeah, but…” Dori struggled for a moment. “Before, his parents could drop everything and come back, or Dis was there, or we were with the other four with a second adult on hand. And…and I’m used to dealing with Nori when he’s…Nori. You know. But…” He glanced out to the living room again, where Nori was at least sitting up, and listening while Bofur talked his ear off about something. “He’s scared right now. He’s too quiet. Too…calm. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Vili nodded in understanding. “Well,” he said. “My wife seems to be MIA and won’t be found for a while, so why don’t we work on this together? I’m sure we could come up with a way to distract all three of them for at least one day.”

“All five if you’re willing,” Betsy said with a smirk.

Vili glared at her. “Let’s start small,” he said. “We may have them for a few days. So, why don’t you and Nori come over in the morning and we’ll…I don’t know, go into the city and spend enough money for the women in our lives to lock us up forever?”

Dori looked surprised. “I thought you tried to watch your finances better,” he said, only a bit sarcastic.

Vili shrugged. “Hey, if Dis is allowed to burn the city down once in a while, then so am I.”

*

The phone finally rang near midnight. Dori was still awake, though Nori had finally fallen asleep a few hours before. Dori scrambled to get the phone.

“Yes?” he asked, maybe a bit too eager.

“It’s a boy,” Lori said, his voice full of exhaustion. “They’re keeping them here for the weekend at least…neither is very strong.”

“Okay, Dad.” Dori hesitated. “Do you think I should bring Nori by tomorrow?”

“In the afternoon,” Lori answered. “She needs rest, and we have a lot of paperwork to do to get you two permission to see the baby.”

Dori swallowed heavily. “Is he—?”

“He’ll be all right, they think,” Lori interrupted. “He’s…he’s beautiful, Dori. Just the tiniest thing…gonna look just like his mama.”

Dori found himself smiling. “Good,” he said. “Does he have a name yet?”

He knew his father well enough to know he was smiling. “His name is Ori.”

*

The door opened near three. Vili heard it, having always been a light sleeper. He sat up on the couch, where he had fallen asleep, and turned just in time to see Dis wavering on the doorstep.

He moved quickly, catching her before she collapsed entirely and scooping her up in his arms in a way he hadn’t since their wedding night.

“When did you last sleep?” he asked.

“Dunno,” she murmured sleepily, snuggling into his chest. He started moving, carrying her up the stairs to bed. “It’s a boy.”

“Good,” Vili said. “Dori and I are taking the boys out tomorrow, so you’ll be able to sleep.”

“Thank you,” she said. She barely reacted when Vili laid her on the bed, though she managed to roll over so he could take the pins out of her hair. “They okay?”

“Yeah,” Vili said. “They’re all okay.” He put the pins on the bedside table and then crawled up next to his wife. She turned back over and curled up into him. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her, intent on keeping her safe until morning.


	13. Ori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babies are wonderful things. And not-so-wonderful things. It's a bit confusing, really.

The first thing Nori noticed about the baby on the other side of the glass were the wires. He could barely even see the baby behind them all.

But then Dori shifted, moving Nori to a better vantage point, and Nori saw his baby brother for the first time.

He was tiny. Nori was certain that even he could hold him. The baby’s skin was pale, almost translucent, and his brown eyes were unfocused. But he still had his head turned toward the window, and Nori swore that he was looking right at them.

“Are all babies that small?” he asked Dori.

“Not always,” Dori said carefully. “But he didn’t get as much time to grow, so he’s not as big, and he didn’t get as healthy as the others. That’s why all the machines are there, to help him finish growing.”

Nori nodded. “Get better, Ori,” he said. “I want you to come home soon.”

Dori smiled slightly. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go see your mama.”

Eileen was sitting up in bed when they entered, hands shakily brushing her red-brown hair. Dori set Nori down and he ran to her. “Mama!” he said.

She smiled. “Hello, Nori,” she said. “Have you been good for your brother today?”

“Uhhuh,” Nori said. “We went with Fili and Kili and Mr. Vili and we went to Minneapolis to the big toy store and there were lots of things out to play with and I got a new set of Playmobiles, with the castle and everything, and then we had ice cream!”

“Is that so?” Eileen asked, raising her eyebrows at Dori.

He shrugged. “Been a rough few days,” he said. “Kids deserved a break.” He moved to the other side of the bed. “Let me do that,” he said.

Eileen relinquished her hair brush and Dori sat down to brush her hair out. “Thank you,” she said.

Dori hummed, not sure if she was thanking him for taking care of Nori or brushing her hair.

“Did you see your little brother?” Eileen asked Nori.

“Uhhuh.” Nori’s smile slipped a bit. “Is he gonna be sick long?”

“No,” Eileen said. “He’ll be here for a few weeks at the most, probably not even that long. Then he’ll come home and he’ll be fine.”

Nori nodded. “Good,” he said. “I wanna be a good big brother, and I can’t do that if he’s here and I’m home.” He glanced up furtively. “Are you still sick?”

Eileen hesitated. “A bit,” she answered. “But I’m feeling much better.”

“Are you coming home?” Nori asked.

“Not for a while,” Eileen said. “I can’t really leave until Ori is ready to come with me. But you can come here every day, and Daddy and Dori will be with you.”

Nori curled up next to her. “Can’t I stay with you?” he asked.

She ran a trembling hand through Nori’s hair. “No,” she said. “You need to go home and take care of Daddy. And you need to go to school so you can be smarter.”

Dori braided Eileen’s hair loosely. She smiled in thanks. “You two are going to be all right,” she said. “You can take care of each other.”

“We certainly can,” Dori said. “I promise not to burn the house down.”

She laughed. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Dori,” she teased.

“I’ll try.” He stood up. “Come on, Nori. Time to go home and let your mommy sleep.”

“Okay.” Nori hugged his mother tight and then let Dori pick him up again.

*

The next two weeks were as tense as any Vili had ever known in the neighborhood. Normally, it was a fairly peaceful place, the shenanigans of the little ones notwithstanding, but now, everyone was on edge constantly.

This was probably because Dis needed a partner in crime, and Vili was painfully aware that he just didn’t cut it. He knew that left on her own, Dis was not nearly as efficient at running everyone else’s life, and that when she wasn’t running everyone else, she got bored very easily.

A bored Dis meant that the neighborhood was subjected to more nonsense than usual. The ever-growing snowman in the Durins’ front yard was the first sign of madness. The new sweaters that Fili and Kili received within two days of each other were a bit alarming.

It was when Dis came home with fifteen different paint chips that Vili knew he needed to put his foot down.

“Dis,” he said, keeping his voice as patient as possible. “What are you doing?”

“I thought I’d repaint all our rooms,” she said, her voice breathless and perky and obviously fake. “I mean, the lavender in the kitchen is all wrong, and the boys should have a darker color now that they’re older, and I never liked the green in our room anyway…”

Vili pinched his forehead. “Have you been drinking?”

“No!” Dis protested. “I’m just…you know…feeling really motivated! It’s a time to do things!”

“You could go bother Marnie…”

“She’s not doing anything interesting. I mean, car mechanics may be interesting to Gloin, but not for me.”

Vili looked at Dis sympathetically. “You’re afraid,” he said. “You’re scared to lose her…that you’ll be left alone.”

She looked away. “How can I be alone when I’m with you?”

“I’m not Eileen,” Vili said. “I’m your husband. And I do that as best as I can. But I’m not your best friend, and you need that.”

“Is that so wrong?” she asked. “I’ve never had a friend like her…you know that.”

“I know,” he said. “It’s all right to be afraid.”

Dis sighed. “I’m always afraid,” she said. “That’s what it means to be a mother. Every moment of the day, I’m afraid that Fili will trip and scrape his knee, or that Kili will fall down and not get back up…I’m afraid that you’ll lose everything, or that Thorin will relapse…or that you’ll all leave me alone with nothing.” She moved closer into her husband’s arms. “And right now, I’m afraid that Eileen won’t come home with her baby and live happily ever after.”

Vili hugged her tight. “She’s going to be fine,” he said firmly. “And I’m not going anywhere. We’re all staying here…we won’t leave you alone. Not ever.”

Dis nodded. She remained in Vili’s arms for several minutes, neither of them speaking. Finally, she looked up. “I still don’t like the paint in our room,” she said.

Vili smiled. “Okay,” he said. “What did you have in mind?”

*

The snow was just beginning to melt and refreeze the day that Eileen and Ori finally returned home.

Dwalin had been enlisted to salt all the sidewalks that morning, and he had just reached the Scriver house when Lori drove up and helped his wife out of the car.

“Morning, Mrs. Scriver,” Dwalin called. “Glad to see you home.”

“Thank you, Mr. Dwalin,” she said. Her cheeks had regained some of their color and she certainly looked far healthier than the last time Dwalin had seen her. In her arms was a tiny bundle of blankets. She smiled widely. “Would you like to meet him?”

Dwalin put down his bag of salt and walked over. The baby was so tiny, he was certain he could hold him in the palm of one hand, but he looked healthy enough, pink cheeks and big eyes. Dwalin smiled over him. “Absolutely beautiful,” he said. “Gonna have to be careful with that one. Eyes like that, he’ll have everyone wrapped around his finger in seconds.”

Lori laughed and kissed his wife’s cheek. “Just like his mama,” he said.

“Exactly like that,” Dwalin agreed. He carefully reached out a finger. Ori’s tiny hand reached out and grasped it weakly. “You be a good boy,” he said softly. “Your mama has enough trouble with one…get your brother in line, eh?”

Ori blinked at him before letting go of his hand. Eileen smiled again and then walked into the house, her husband at her side.

*

“Is that what a baby looks like?” Fili whispered, peering at Ori through the bars of the crib.

“You’ve seen one before,” Nori whispered back. “When Kili was littler.”

“I don’t remember,” Fili said. “It’s tiny.”

“Not an it,” Nori hissed. “He’s a he.”

Eileen hid her smile behind her hand. It had only been a few days, and Nori was already very protective of Ori.

Bofur looked closely at Ori. “He’s cute,” Bofur declared. “Definitely your brother.”

“I’m not cute,” Nori mumbled. Eileen had to work even harder not to laugh. Bofur only grinned.

“All right, boys,” Eileen said. “I think you should all go downstairs now so Ori can go down for his nap.”

They all tiptoed out of the room, keeping very quiet. Eileen couldn’t help but giggle to herself. Nori had been very eager to show the baby off to his friends, and Eileen had agreed to let them in only if they were very, very quiet. It was almost comical how seriously they had taken this condition.

Back in the living room, the boys had gathered in a circle. “So how’s being a big brother?” Fili asked teasingly.

Nori grinned. “I like it,” he declared. “He’s cute, and Mama tells him lots of stories and she lets me listen, and sometimes I get to hold him and it feels real nice, and Mama showed me how to change a diaper and that’s not fun, but she says it’s a good skill to have later, just in case I ever have a baby.”

“I don’t think I’d ever have a baby,” Fili said contemplatively. “I brought Kili up, that’s enough.”

“Your mama brought Kili up,” Bofur argued. “I wanna have babies someday. When I’m grown-up, I’m gonna have a pretty wife and lots of babies.”

“I helped bring Kili up,” Fili snapped. “And maybe Mama did all the feeding and changing, but I was the one who taught him to walk and talk and play and took care of him.”

Kili, sitting next to Fili as usual, nodded seriously, his thumb in his mouth.

“Certainly didn’t teach him to be that cute,” Bofur mumbled.

One fistfight later, they had reformed their circle as though nothing had happened.

“You’re gonna be a great brother,” Bofur told Nori. “Just you wait until Ori’s big enough to play with us. You’ll have someone to help you in fights.”

“I don’t need help,” Nori said. “But we’ll kick all your butts!”

*

The other students in Dori’s hall were unsurprised to learn that Dori adored babies.

They often joked, sometimes within his hearing, that he treated all of them like babies, and that he was the biggest mother-hen any of them had ever encountered. While they appreciated it sometimes, that didn’t change their perception of him.

They were absolutely not prepared for when there was an actual baby in Dori’s life again. There were suddenly tons of Polaroid pictures showing Ori off stuck all over the door to Dori’s room, on the weekends when he wasn’t actually on duty he was always gone, and God help anyone who actually stopped to ask about it. The last time someone had inquired, Dori had gushed about Ori so long that both he and the inquisitive resident were late for class.

Not that he could help it. Dori hadn’t been overjoyed the first time his father had sat him down and said that Eileen was having a baby, having been fifteen years old and going through a horrible moody phase at the time, but the moment baby Nori had come into the world, Dori was sold. He was utterly convinced that babies in general were the greatest thing on earth, and that his baby brothers would naturally be superior to everyone else’s.

And Ori…well, even the students who were sick of hearing about him agreed that Ori was about the cutest baby ever born.

Not that Dori cared what they thought. He was too busy running back home as often as he could, offering to babysit whenever he thought Eileen could be persuaded to actually rest, showing Nori all the ways to care for a baby.

And Ori really was such a sweet and quiet little thing, only crying when he truly needed something. Dori could sit with him for hours, playing peek-a-boo or simply holding him, and it was about the most contenting thing he could think of.

*

For Nori, the baby was both the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Ori was small and adorable and sweet, a joy to hold and to play with. He was wide-eyed and sometimes smiled at Nori, and it was thrilling to know that his was his little brother, a tiny person for him to raise and play with and care for just like Fili and Bofur did.

On the other hand, Ori sometimes screamed loudly in the night and woke Nori up, and changing diapers was never fun, even if he was mostly on the edge of the proceedings. And of course, being a baby, there was a limit on what Nori could do with him.

But mostly, Ori needed a lot of care, and that meant that Eileen was usually busy with him. And when she wasn’t busy with Ori, she was usually asleep.

Nori understood, and he tried not to be upset about it, but he missed having his mother play with him and give him all her attention. She would still listen to him talk about school and piano practice, but Ori was always in her arms, having his afternoon feeding, and she would have to pay attention to both of them at once, and Nori could tell she wasn’t listening as much. She would sit out in the living room and watch his games of make-believe and building, but she didn’t get on the floor to play with him anymore, keeping her eyes on the baby. She didn’t pick him up from school, leaving Betsy or Dis to retrieve him with the others.

And Nori missed her.

“It’s not fair,” he confided to Bofur one day shortly after Easter. They were sitting under the jungle gym at school, sharing the jelly beans Bofur had smuggled from home. They weren’t technically supposed to have candy at school, but Bofur was very good at concealing things in his pockets, and Nori was very good at getting things out of Bofur’s pockets. “Mama spends all her time with Ori and doesn’t talk to me much anymore.”

Bofur nodded sagely. “My mama was like that when Bombur was born,” he said. “She’s still like that, sometimes. But it’s cause they’re little and need to be taken care of. We’re big boys and can take care of ourselves.”

Nori still pouted a little. “I don’t need taking care of,” he mumbled. “But she’s my mama too! He can’t have her all for himself!”

Bofur sighed and handed Nori a few more jelly beans. Bofur hadn’t realized it was possible to eat jelly beans angrily, but Nori managed it. “It won’t be like that forever,” Bofur said. “When Ori gets bigger, he’ll play with you, and your mama will play with you both.”

“I just want my mama,” Nori whined. “Daddy doesn’t have time for me, and Dori loves the baby more than anything.”

Bofur leaned his shoulder against Nori’s. “I still like you best,” he said. “And you can always play with me, and talk to me. Besides,” he added with a small smile. “Does your mama give you jelly beans before lunch?”

Nori tried not to smile. “No,” he said. “But that’s cause we’re not s’posed to eat candy before lunch.”

“Yeah,” Bofur said. “But that’s why we’ve got each other. To break the rules together. You can’t break the rules with your mama.”

Nori smiled for real and leaned on Bofur in turn. “Thanks, Bofur,” he said. Bofur butted their heads together and Nori got the rest of the jelly beans out of Bofur’s pocket.


	14. For the rest of your life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding is proposed, planned and carried out in just a few months. Never tell Dis she can't do something.

“Mr. Farin, your brother is on line one.”

Gloin picked up the phone immediately. If Oin was calling him in the middle of the work day, it must be an emergency.

“What’s happened?” Gloin demanded without greeting.

“Good afternoon to you, too, brother.” Oin’s voice was entirely too pleasant for what was bound to be bad news. “Do you answer client calls like that?”

Gloin growled. “Get to the point, Oin.”

Oin chuckled a bit. “Well, I’m actually calling on behalf of your fair lady,” he said.

Gloin was out of his seat instantly, or would have been if the phone cord hadn’t forced him to sit back down. “What’s wrong with Marnie?” he demanded.

“She had two messages for you. The first is that she won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight because she just had ten stitches and a tetanus shot…”

“WHAT?!” Gloin grabbed the base of the phone and started moving. “How did that happen?!?!”

“Couldn’t tell you, except that it involved a pickup that should have been sold for scrap years ago.”

Gloin took several deep breaths. “What was the second message?”

“The second message is that you absolutely should not come to the hospital because she is perfectly capable of getting a taxi home.”

“Who dropped her off?”

“Thorin, but he had to get back to work. I’ve tried calling Dis, but apparently there’s some sort of children’s play going on this afternoon that she absolutely has to be at or Fili won’t speak to her ever again. But like I said, she’d rather get her own ride…”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Gloin hung up the phone and grabbed his coat. He dashed out of his office, barely glancing at the secretary long enough to tell her to cancel his appointments for the afternoon before he was out the door and on the way to the hospital. His hand fell on the box in his pocket as he went and he took several shuddering breaths to calm himself before he had to see her.

Marnie had apparently been sent back to the waiting room, where she was very grumpily looking at an outdated auto mechanics magazine when Gloin rushed in. Her right hand was wrapped in bandages and her work uniform had a lot of stains on it, though the fact that her expression was more annoyed than pained was probably a good sign.

“Thought I told you not to come get me,” she mumbled, though Gloin caught the small quirk of her mouth that almost resembled a smile.

“Thought you knew I wouldn’t listen.” He moved to the seat beside her. “What happened?”

“Pickup truck went out, client brought it in, failed to mention that there was a part rusted so much that it broke in my hand and gashed it open. It happens.” She shrugged and carefully set the magazine aside. “More inconvenient than anything, I just washed this coat.”

“I’m sure the stains will come out,” Gloin said. His hand was still in his pocket, closed over the little weight within.

“Yeah,” Marnie said. “Still, inconvenient. And your brother insists that I not work until the stitches come out, and I don’t know how I’ll pay rent if I don’t, and Mr. Blue is bound to be mad about paying the workman’s comp…” Her eyes were starting to fill with tears, though whether from anger or pain was uncertain.

Gloin swallowed heavily. “Marnie,” he said. “I…” He took a deep breath and moved from his seat to the floor on his knees. Slowly, he took the box out of his pocket. “Could I pay your rent for the rest of your life?” he asked, opening the box.

There was silence, or as much silence as there could be in a hospital waiting room, and Gloin could swear that one of the receptionists sighed, but his eyes did not move away from Marnie’s face. She stared back, mouth slightly open, before slowly extending her uninjured hand. “I…I’d like that,” she finally gasped.

Gloin lurched up and kissed her hard.

The receptionists definitely cheered.

*

The only problem Marnie could see with suddenly deciding to get married as quickly as possible was that she didn’t have any girl friends to help plan a wedding.

Not that she didn’t like other women. She just rarely had occasion to make friends with them, and the ones she did make friends with were not the sort who liked poring over bridal catalogues and discussing flower arrangements and hairstyles and catering options for hours on end.

And she would be damned before she asked Dwalin’s opinion on anything that wasn’t a socket wrench. Or Thorin’s, for that matter.

But much to her surprise, two days after the engagement was announced, Dis Durin and Eileen Scriver showed up at her door, Dis with an armload of magazines and Eileen with an arm full of baby.

“Let’s start with the basics,” Dis said without any introduction, dropping the catalogues on the kitchen table. “Gloin said you’re getting married as quickly as we can plan a decent wedding, correct?”

“Yes,” Marnie said, feeling rather wrong-footed. “We’re aiming for August.”

“Good,” Dis said. “Still with the summer colors, then.” She started pulling out individual catalogues. “Of course, you’re an autumn, so the coloring might need to be a bit more toward fall, but we can work with that.”

Marnie blinked and looked to Eileen. “What?”

“She means you look better in reds and yellows than in blues and greens,” Eileen translated. “Thought about color schemes yet?”

“No?” Marnie said. “I just decided to get married three days ago.”

“So?” Eileen asked. “I had a color scheme planned three days after Lori and I started dating.”

“Forgive me for not assuming that every guy I date will end up being my husband,” Marnie said drily. “I’m not really the drive into the sunset type of girl to begin with. I didn’t realize that he’d want to get married so quickly.”

Dis put down her catalogues. “Is this what you want?” she asked gently.

Marnie looked at her a minute before nodding. “It is,” she said. “I want to be his wife. He’s a good man, and…and I’ll be happy. It was just so sudden…”

Dis nodded. “I understand,” she said. “We can save this for later if you like.”

“No,” Marnie said. “I’m glad you’re here to help, Mrs. Durin. I just…I never planned a wedding, not even when I was a little girl. It just wasn’t something I ever thought I’d have.”

“And that’s why you have us,” Eileen said. “Well, her, anyway. I’m just here to translate fashion terms.”

Dis huffed at her. “I’ll have you know that I was the best dressed woman at the NecroDragon Records Gala for three years running,” she snapped.

“Maybe so,” Marnie said. “But I’m not working on a NecroDragon Records budget.”

“And I’m glad of that, because it means there will be fewer people I hate in attendance,” Dis agreed. “Now, do you want to choose a wedding dress that will make you look fantastic, or bridesmaid dresses that will make everyone else look terrible?”

*

“We’re eloping.”

Gloin blinked. He had not been expecting that when Marnie came into the house. “What?”

“We’re eloping. Courthouse, eight AM, sign the certificate, forget the ceremony.”

“What brought this on?” he asked.

Marnie gave him a pointed look. “Eileen and Dis were in my kitchen for six hours pointing out options in magazines. I think they’ve come up with thirty different flower arrangements and shortlisted at least five different styles of wedding dress.”

Gloin chuckled. “Well, they tend to do that,” he agreed. “But I thought you wanted a traditional wedding?”

“I did before other people got involved,” Marnie said. “But they’re so…”

“Enthusiastic?”

“Yes!” Marnie cried. “It’s a bit overwhelming.”

“Ah, let them have their fun,” Gloin said. “Dis got married in her work uniform and Eileen ran off one weekend and came back with a ring. They didn’t get to plan their weddings, of course they’ll be enthusiastic when they have a chance to plan yours. Especially since it means they can be bossy and efficient.”

Marnie huffed at him. “They could do it with someone else’s life,” she muttered.

Gloin chuckled. “Do you want me to call them off?” he asked.

Marnie looked at him for a moment, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Not exactly,” she said. “But I think you’d be better suited to planning all this. You’re the romantic one, after all.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I’d hate to choose things you hate.”

“Quite sure,” she said. “Just let me know when they want me to go try on dresses.”

*

“So you’re getting married.”

Marnie looked up from the engine she was working on to see Mr. Blue staring at her intensely. “Yes,” she said. “What about it?”

Mr. Blue shrugged. “Nothing,” he said. “Just sad I could lose my best girl.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Marnie said. “Just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean I suddenly won’t know the difference between a carburetor and a radiator.”

“Yeah, but that’s how it starts, isn’t it?” Mr. Blue asked. “First you get married, and it’s all good, but then your husband wants you home to keep house and cook dinner so you’re running off early, then there are babies who need all your attention, and next thing you know, you’ve moved on from this.”

“What century are you living in?” Marnie asked. “Most women keep their jobs these days. And Gloin’s not the type who would expect me to sit home and be the little woman.”

Mr. Blue sighed. “That’s what they all say.” He wandered off, leaving Marnie frowning after him.

*

“Does life change after you get married?”

Betsy looked over the fence in surprise. “Course it does,” she said, continuing to hang her laundry out. “Not just about you anymore, is it? Gotta think about ‘us’ and not just ‘me.’ Why do you ask, girl?”

Marnie shrugged and leaned on the gate. “Something Mr. Blue said,” she admitted. “About how I’d leave my job soon. But I don’t plan on leaving.”

Betsy rolled her eyes. “Oh, that old nonsense,” she said. “Don’t you pay any mind to that. Some men just can’t wrap their heads around a lady doing her good work once there’s a husband in the picture.”

“But…you don’t work,” Marnie said carefully.

“That’s because I have a six and three-year-old,” Betsy said. “Believe me, as soon as Bombur’s off to school, I’m going back out in the workforce.”

“But that’s his point!” Marnie protested. “If we have children, I’ll have to give it all up, won’t I?”

“That’s something to discuss with your dearest darling,” Betsy said. “Or worry about when you get there. May not be for a few more years.”

Marnie sighed. “I know, but I can’t help but wonder…I mean, I like working there, and I don’t want to give up who I am just because I’m getting married.”

Betsy put down her basket and patted her on the shoulder. “It’s going to be an adjustment,” she said. “But believe me. When you’ve found your man, it’s all worth it.”

Marnie nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Mattocks.”

*

“The waist is too tight.”

“It’s supposed to be tight! That’s the style!”

“Not that tight! I do have to be able to walk!”

“Go to the next size, then. Though that’s probably not going to fit the chest.

“We could pad the chest…”

“I’m not padding my chest on my wedding day!”

“Could we just take the waist out on this half an inch or so?”

“Half an inch isn’t going to cut it, Dis!”

“Much more and it’ll be too loose!”

“Forgive me for wanting to breathe!”

“Fine, three quarters. But that’s it!”

“Thought this was my wedding.”

“Hey, did I force you to choose this style?”

“You did rather forcibly decide that you were going to plan it all.”

“All right, I’m sorry.” Dis pinched at the fabric for a bit more. “Full inch would work, I suppose…but it does look good on you.”

Marnie did smile rather reluctantly. “It does,” she admitted. “But it’s still uncomfortable.”

Eileen giggled. “I’d hate to see what would happen if you had a daughter.”

“Not likely,” Marnie said. “Something in the water means all boys in this neighborhood.”

“Speaking of which,” Dis said. “Gloin brought it to our attention that there are no adorable little girls to throw flower petals.”

“I did think of that,” Marnie said. “And I was planning to borrow Fili for that.”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure about that?” she asked skeptically.

“It will be adorable,” Marnie said. “And I thought you were progressive enough for that.”

“Oh, I am,” Dis said. “I just don’t trust Fili to throw anything.”

*

“How much is this catering bill going to be?”

“It’s your wedding, what do you think?”

“There is no way that it’s good enough to rack up quite this much!”

“That includes the waitstaff and the location. Best I could do.”

“Marnie did tell you we’re not on a NecroDragon budget, right?”

“Yes, but that’s what catering costs these days! Don’t worry, I’ve already gotten donations in.”

“It occurs to me that we could just take all that money and put it into a mutual fund to save for our potential children’s college funds or our very real retirement.”

Dis rolled her eyes. “Would you stop thinking like an accountant for ten minutes and just enjoy yourself?”

Gloin glared at her. “The last time one of my cousins asked me that question, there were a lot of arrests made the next day.”

Dis went silent and Gloin immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just…it’s a stressful time and…”

“Am I being…you know?” she asked quietly.

“A bit,” he admitted. “But that’s no reason for me to snap at you.”

They were silent for a moment before Dis nodded. “I’ll see what I can dig up that’s cheaper,” she said. “But really, don’t worry about it too much.”

“I’ll try,” Gloin muttered.

*

“Why did we choose to get married in August?” Marnie asked. It was the day of the wedding rehearsal and the heat had spiked beyond belief.

“Because that was when we could get everything put together and not have it be snowing,” Gloin answered. “Relax, it’s indoors where there’s air conditioning.”

“Yes, but you haven’t seen how tight my dress is,” she said.

“At least it’s white,” he pointed out. “I’m in a dark suit.” He smiled. “Shall we go in and make sure everyone knows what they’re doing?”

“Most of what they’re doing is wrangling children,” Marnie said. “But yes. Let’s get this over with.”

“I know I’m the romantic one, but you could try to be excited,” Gloin said as they headed inside.

“I am excited,” Marnie said. “I want to get the rehearsal over with because that will mean we’re closer to the actual wedding.”

Gloin pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

*

“Care to explain why you were fifteen minutes late to your own wedding rehearsal?” Dwalin asked later at brunch.

Marnie smirked at him. “Nope,” she said, and wandered off.

*

“Fili, hold still!”

Fili stopped wriggling. Mostly. “Is this gonna take all day?” he asked as Dis braided flowers into his hair.

“A few hours,” Dis answered. “Then we’re going to the reception.”

“What’s a re-cep-son?” Fili asked.

“It’s like a big party,” Dis explained. “Where we all dance and eat cake and tell Cousin Gloin and Marnie how lucky they are.”

“I like parties,” Fili said. “But you and Daddy don’t let us go to many grown-up parties.”

“Well, you get to come to this one,” Dis said. “Because you’re the flower boy, and everyone needs to see how nice you look.” She finished the final braid. “There. Now, be good and don’t pull any of the flowers out while I get Kili ready.”

Fili nodded and sat very still on the bed while Dis started on Kili. “Mama?” Fili asked after a moment.

“Yes, Fili?”

“Did you have a flower boy when you and Daddy got married?”

Dis paused brushing Kili’s hair for a moment. “No,” she finally said. “Daddy and I didn’t have anyone except Cousin Balin and my friend Janice at our wedding.”

“Why not?” Fili asked. “Miss Marnie said this is how most weddings go.”

“It is,” Dis said. “But Daddy and I wanted to be married in a hurry, so we didn’t plan any of it. We just…went to church one day and did it.”

“Why?” Fili asked. It was his favorite question these days.

“Because…” Dis hesitated, not sure how to explain it all to such a small child. “Well, because we were so much in love that we didn’t want to have to wait, and we were moving from New York to Saint Paul soon, so we did it spontaneously.”

“What does spon-tain-us mean?” Fili asked.

“It means we decided to get married about ten minutes in advance,” Dis answered. She finished brushing Kili’s hair. “Now you two go downstairs and bother Uncle Thorin while I get myself ready.”

The boys took off downstairs. Dis stared at the wall for a moment before she went to get ready herself.

*

There was a knock on the door. Marnie took a deep breath as she went to answer it.

Dwalin leaned on the doorframe casually, though his mouth twitched when he looked at her. “You look pretty good,” he said. “Almost like a girl or something.”

Marnie swatted at him. “Are you just going to stand there and reinforce the patriarchy or do you want to be useful?” she asked.

“Just telling you that your dearly beloved is ready to go when you are,” he said. “And I’ve been enlisted to take you to church since they’re all fairly certain you won’t kill me on the way.”

“Don’t count on it, Fundin,” she snapped. “As I recall, we don’t have you serving any useful function in this ceremony.”

“Other than being your best friend?” he asked.

Marnie couldn’t help but smile. “All right, that,” she said. She hesitated, then went over and hugged him. “Thanks.”

Dwalin patted her on the back and then turned to pick up her veil. He placed it on her head and smiled. “All right, kid,” he said. “Let’s go get you hitched to my silly cousin.”

She laughed and let him walk her downstairs into the waiting car.

*

Honestly, if letting Dis plan events made them this beautiful, Gloin would stop questioning her quite so often.

Or maybe he was just in an extra good mood today. After all, it was his wedding day, and he had the perfect woman. What could possibly go wrong?

The answer was nothing as the procession started and seemed to go off without a hitch. The children took their roles very seriously and the adults were mostly eager to get this done so they could move to a place with an open bar, so of course no one was going to screw this up.

And then Marnie came through the door and Gloin forgot to worry.

She was beautiful, her hair tames and styled, her dress perfect for her figure, and her smile more radiant than ever. Of course, this was probably the only dress she would ever wear, so Gloin decided to enjoy it, although he couldn’t help but think of her plain work uniform, frizzy hair barely contain under her cap, without makeup and elbow-deep in engine oil.

Maybe a wedding was a good day to primp, but he knew which Marnie he would always prefer.

*

“Well, that didn’t go too badly,” Marnie commented. It was late at night and they had finally gotten home.

“Of course not,” Gloin said. He kissed her deeply. “How could it go badly when I have you?”

She smiled, soft and suddenly shy as she turned her back to him and set her veil on the bedside table. “It couldn’t,” she said. There was a moment of silence before she asked. “Will you unzip my dress?”

He did so, hands shaking as he moved closer to her. She didn’t move, unnatural for a woman like her, her breath shallow.

“Well, Mrs. Farin?” Gloin breathed.

She leaned over and turned off the lamp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Due to a rather distressing confluence of circumstances, this story is on hiatus until further notice. We will get back to it, though, so keep watching this space. Sorry for the inconvenience.


	15. A Pox on Your Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys all get chicken pox. This is not fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. We should be back to regular posting now!

The phone rang six times before Eileen could get to it. This was typical, with a baby in one arm and a six-year-old following her around, but it was still annoying.

“Scrivers,” she said, her tone more exasperated than usual due to the sheer amount of sugar Nori had apparently had at school that day.

“Eileen, it’s Betsy.” Betsy’s voice sounded about as annoyed as Eileen’s, though hers also came with a note of panic.

“Something the matter?” Eileen asked.

“Mama!”

“Hush, Nori. Go on, Betsy.”

“Bofur came home with chicken pox,” Betsy said. “And Bombur’s probably already got them, but since it came from school you’d better get Nori checked as well…I’ll call Dis and make sure her boys are going to be out of the way for a while.”

Eileen groaned. “I’ll take him in to the doctor straight away,” she said. “And if he’s got them…”

“If he’s got them, send him over here,” Betsy said. “Let the boys keep each other occupied and keep them away from your wee one.”

“Will do.” Eileen hung up and immediately dialed the pediatrician.

*

Nori was unusually subdued when Eileen dropped him at the Mattockses an hour later. Eileen did feel a bit bad about it, but Ori had enough health troubles as it was without chicken pox as well.

“Daddy will be by to get you later tonight,” she promised.

“But Mama, when I’m sick you take care of me,” Nori whined.

Eileen bit her lip. “I know,” she said. “But Mrs. Mattocks knows better what to do and you get to be with your friends. And Ori might get sick too and that could hurt him a lot.”

Nori’s lip was trembling. “I don’t wanna hurt Ori,” he said.

“I know.” Eileen smiled at him. “The best thing you can do for him right now is to stay here, okay?”

“Okay,” Nori said.

Eileen smiled and opened the door. “Betsy! Got another patient for you!”

“Send him in!” Betsy called.

Eileen nodded and Nori headed inside, still looking dejected. Eileen wished she could hug him, but she was having enough trouble keeping him and Ori separated.

Once Nori was inside, Eileen closed the front door again and headed to the Farin’s house to pick up Ori. It was only once she and her baby were safely back inside did she dare to cry.

*

“Ma, it itches!” Bofur whined.

“I know, love,” Betsy said. “I’ve got some medicine for that.” She glanced at the three boys who were all looking up at her, spots breaking out every few minutes. “But you’re all going to need to hold still for me to put it on.”

“Don’t wanna hold still,” Nori muttered. “Why can’t we play outside?”

“Because we don’t need everyone on the street getting sick,” Betsy answered. “Now come on. Sit still and I’ll help.”

It took far too long to get the calamine onto all the spots, mostly because getting Nori and Bofur to hold still for any period of time was ridiculously hard, but Betsy managed. She glanced at the clock when she was done. Two o’clock, still an hour before anyone would be home to help.

Once she had finished with them, they all three sat down in the living room with Sesame Street on, though only Bombur was paying attention to it. Nori and Bofur had decided to preoccupy themselves by whining.

“I wanna go home,” Nori muttered. “I want my mama.”

“I know,” Bofur said, and wasn’t it odd, hearing a little boy understand that his mother wasn’t always the best one. “But my ma says that it’s better if we all stay here. And my ma can take care of you.”

Nori’s lip was trembling, though Betsy could tell he was trying to get it under control. “I don’t need to be taken care of,” he argued. “I just need my mama.”

Bofur moved closer and headbutted Nori gently. “I know,” he said.

They were quiet for a little while, watching the TV, which gave Betsy enough time to get dinner started.

Bifur arrived home at 3:30. He went straight into the living room, where the boys were all lying miserably, occasionally scratching at their spots until Betsy scolded them not to.

“Hello, lads,” Bifur said. “Heard you were all sick.”

The boys all nodded gloomily. Nori looked like he might cry again.

“Well,” Bifur said. “My woodshop class has been doing a special project the last few weeks.” He knelt down and opened his backpack. “And I happen to have a few things for all of you.”

“Even me?” Nori asked, amazed.

Bifur grinned. “Especially you,” he said. “New baby taking everyone’s attention and now you’re sick to boot? That’s not going to do.” He pulled the first item out of his bag, a carved wooden fox, standing with one paw raised, looking over its shoulder. It was lovingly carved and painted, the detail so fine that Nori could see the individual hairs. “This is for you, Nori.”

Nori reached out and took the figure. It was just small enough to fit in his hands. “Thank you!” he said.

“And this one’s for Bofur,” Bifur said, producing another carved creature, this one with a pointed nose and painted black and white.

Bofur took it, confused. “Never seen an animal like this,” he said.

“It’s a badger,” Bifur told him. “I wanted to try something no one else would think of.”

Bofur grinned. “I like it!” he declared. “Thank you, Bif!”

“And this one’s for Bombur,” Bifur concluded, producing a carved collie dog.

Bombur took it eagerly. “Thanks, Bif,” he said. He was still getting the hang of talking, but he grinned widely as the three boys settled down to play with their new toys.

Betsy looked at her nephew gratefully. “Thank you,” she mouthed over the counter.

Bifur grinned and settled down to keep an eye on the boys.

*

Dis went into Eileen’s kitchen later that week to find her friend sitting at the table, baby in hand, eyes full of tears.

“What’s the matter, love?” Dis asked, putting down the week’s washing.

Eileen jumped and looked at Dis. “Oh…” she said. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Dis raised her eyebrows and sat down at the table. “Penny for your thoughts?” she asked.

Eileen took a deep breath. “Am I a good mother?” she asked.

Dis stared at her. “Of course you are,” she said. “Why would you think you aren’t?”

“My son is sick,” Eileen reminded her. “Sick and miserable and instead of taking care of him, I’ve just fobbed him off on the neighbors.”

“You did it to protect your other son,” Dis reminded her. “And Nori’s in good hands…yes, he misses you, but he understands, he really does. He’s a brave boy. He’ll be all right.”

Eileen sighed. “I know,” she said. “I just can’t help but feel that I should be doing more for him.”

Dis got up and went to embrace her. Eileen leaned on her a moment. “You’re doing fine,” Dis said. “Believe me…I know it’s hard. But sometimes, you don’t have a good choice.”

Eileen started to cry. “How do you choose?” she asked. “How could any mother choose between the children who need her?”

“We can’t,” Dis said. “But sometimes…sometimes, we have to.”

*

At the end of the week, the boys were all feeling better and Nori was cleared to go back home.

Eileen picked him up from the Mattockses. She didn’t think Nori had ever hugged her so much, clinging to her legs the moment she came in the door. She laughed and handed Ori off to Betsy so she could hug Nori back. They stayed there a good long time.

“I missed you, Mama,” Nori said.

“I missed you, too,” Eileen said. “I’m glad you’re better now.” She smiled at him. “Would you like to go get ice cream?”

“Uhhuh!” Nori grinned widely. But first, he dashed back into the living room and retrieved his wooden fox. “Look what Bifur made me!”

“Oh!” Eileen exclaimed. “Isn’t it pretty! That was very nice.” She studied the fox closely. “Does he have a name?”

“His name is Fox,” Nori said.

Eileen and Betsy both suppressed their smiles. “So it is,” Eileen said. “Come on, now. Time to go.” She took Nori’s hand in one of hers and took Ori back with the other and headed out the door.


	16. Future Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori has one semester left and no idea what to do with his life.

_1997_

The campus coffee shop was crowded, as usual. Dori sighed to himself as he wove his way through the crowd, looking for an empty seat. First day after Christmas break and already this semester was a train wreck.

He finally spotted an empty chair at the back of the shop and headed toward it. It was only when he was too close to turn back that he realized Balin was sitting in the opposite seat, sipping tea and watching the students with a twinkle of amusement. Dori sighed again and went over.

“This seat taken?” he asked.

Balin smiled. “No,” he said. “Go ahead.”

Dori sat down, dropping his bag on the floor beside his chair. He set his tea down and leaned on the table.

“So,” Balin said, clearly ignoring how annoyed Dori was. “Last semester.”

“Yeah,” Dori said. “Technically last three credits, but Dad said I might as well take some fun classes while I’m at it.”

“Too bad you already took mine,” Balin teased.

Dori snorted. “No offense, Balin, but there’s nothing fun about listening to you talk to pretty girls about music history. I get that enough outside of school.”

Balin chuckled. “Noticed that, did you?”

“How could I not?” Dori asked. “They weren’t exactly subtle.”

Balin raised his eyebrows. “You know I don’t date students.”

“Dwalin mentioned. He never said you don’t flirt with them.”

“Well, you know what they say. Do what you’re good at for a living.”

“Never said you were good at it.”

They laughed for a moment before Balin sobered. “But what about you?” he asked. “You were awfully quiet at Christmas…have you made your plans yet?”

Dori shrugged. “Dad’s offered to find me a starting position at his company, but...I don’t know. I don’t want to just follow in his footsteps…I want to do this myself.”

“I understand,” Balin said. “So what do you want?”

“What everyone wants, I guess,” Dori muttered. “Thirty thousand a year, decent apartment not in my parent’s house, nice girl to go out with and cook me dinner, student loans paid off in full…the usual.”

Balin raised his eyebrows. “You sure about that?” he asked.

Dori blushed and looked down at his tea. “Well…maybe I’d prefer a nice boy,” he mumbled. “But otherwise…”

“I see.” Balin sipped at his tea, watching Dori closely.

“I do have a few offers on the table,” Dori said. “For jobs, I mean, not nice boys. I just…I don’t want to leave Saint Paul, but I don’t want to always be tied to my dad and Eileen and the kids.”

“Saint Paul is a pretty big place,” Balin pointed out. “Or if you went over to Minneapolis, that’s even bigger…and not too bad of a commute if you wanted to go home on weekends. I don’t think either Lori or Eileen will mind.”

“I know they won’t,” Dori said. “Eileen’s already lamenting that I’m growing up and she’s losing her free babysitter.”

“Free babysitter?” Balin repeated. “I was under the impression that you kept kidnapping her children and spoiling them rotten.”

Dori grinned. “You’ve seen Ori,” he said. “Who isn’t going to spoil him rotten? Especially since his first birthday’s coming up soon.”

“My brother certainly will,” Balin said. They both laughed again.

Balin checked his watch. “Well, I have to get moving,” he said. “Got class in fifteen minutes…you know where my office is. Drop in if you ever want a friendly face.”

“I know,” Dori said. “Thanks.”

Balin got up and left. Dori watched him go, feeling like this semester may not be so bad after all.


	17. Gimli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another baby is coming and will need taking care of.

_1998_

“So I hear Mrs. Marnie’s having a baby.”

Nori, Bofur and Bombur looked up. Ori continued to sit by and chew on his brother’s shirt. “Where’d you hear that?” Nori asked.

“From my mama,” Fili said. “She was telling your mama over coffee yesterday.” He frowned in confusion. “I dunno why grown-ups always do that. Why can’t they just tell each other things over coloring books? Why do they have to drink coffee?”

“My mama says it keeps her awake,” Nori said, gently disentangling Ori from his shirt. Ori pouted a bit, but he didn’t start screaming. He glanced at Ori and frowned. “Is Mrs. Marnie gonna be sick?” he asked.

“I don’t want her to be sick!” Bofur exclaimed. “Mrs. Marnie’s nice! She lets me look at her toolbox.”

“Why’d she get sick?” Kili asked.

“My mama got sick when she had Ori,” Nori reminded him. “She had to go to the hospital and everything.”

“I don’t ‘member,” Kili said.

“You were real little,” Fili said. “As little as Ori is now.”

Bombur was deep in thought. He finally looked up and said, “If Mrs. Marnie’s havin’ a baby, who’s gonna look after him?”

“What do you mean?” Nori asked.

“Well, I have Bofur, and Bofur had Bifur, and Kili has Fili and Ori has you and you have Dori…who’s gonna look after the new baby?”

“No one looked after me,” Fili pointed out. “And I turned out just fine.”

“Your mama and daddy looked after you,” Nori said. “And Mrs. Marnie and Mr. Gloin will look after their baby.”

Bombur frowned. “But that’s not the same,” he said.

“Maybe we can look after him,” Kili said. “We don’t got anyone to take care of…except Ori, but Nori does that.”

“But you’re little brothers!” Bofur said. “You don’t take care of people!”

“You’re a little brother,” Kili said.

“No, I’m not,” Bofur said. “Bifur’s my cousin, not my brother.”

“He still acts like your brother,” Kili said.

“Still not the same thing,” Bofur said. “And you couldn’t look after a stuffed bear without Fili’s help!”

Nori quickly moved Ori out of the way as a fight broke out between Bofur and Kili, made complicated when their brothers both jumped in to help. Bofur and Bombur had the size advantage, but Fili and Kili always fought dirty.

Unfortunately, all the noise started Ori screaming, which meant Eileen and Dori came rushing in from the kitchen to see what the matter was. Dori quickly separated the combatants while Eileen swept Ori up in her arms to shush him.

“Honestly, how many times I have told you, no fighting in the house?” Eileen lectured.

The boys all looked down. “Sorry, Mrs. Eileen,” they all chorused.

She shook her head in irritation. “It’s almost five, which means all of you need to go home for dinner anyway,” she said. “Come on, shoes and jackets.”

*

“Seriously, Dwalin, I’m fine,” Marnie snapped. “I can still bend over and Oin said there aren’t enough fumes to be harmful.”

Dwalin shifted a bit. “I know,” he said. “It’s your husband who was asking.”

Marnie rolled her eyes. “Hand me that wrench, would you?” she asked.

“Thought about what you’re going to do in three months when you can’t bend over?” Dwalin asked, passing her the requested item.

“Take time off, stay home, put together a nursery, come back in a year,” Marnie answered. “I already talked it over with Mr. Blue and he agreed.”

“And what are you going to do with the kid? Dump him off on Eileen?”

“Gloin’s getting all of his work put onto the computer,” Marnie said. “So he can work from home and watch the baby.”

Dwalin raised his eyebrows. “You’re going to trust Gloin to raise a kid?” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Marnie asked. “It’s not like he’ll be entirely on his own. There are at least two people nearby who don’t have jobs and will be more than willing to help.”

“Thought you said you weren’t going to let Dis interfere in your life anymore,” Dwalin teased.

“My life, sure,” Marnie said. “Gloin’s life is another matter entirely.”

*

“But what do you do with a baby?” Gloin looked more worried than ever before, which was saying a lot.

Vili thought about it for a minute. “Well, you feed them,” he said. “And you change them…and smile at them…look, Dis did most of the childrearing because I had better job opportunities than she did. I just showed up in the evenings and admired how cute they were.”

“Yeah, well, this is the 90s, not the 50s,” Gloin pointed out. “It’s almost the 21st century and Marnie is a modern woman with her own career that can’t be done from a small room in the back of the house, so I need to figure out how to be a good dad.”

“And you’re afraid you’ll mess it up?” Vili guessed.

“Yes!” Gloin put down his coffee cup rather more violently than was necessary. “I mean, what do I know about children? Sure, I see yours everywhere, but they’ve always been in the background! I’ve never had to take care of one by myself! And look at me! I’m thirty years old, I’m still working as a public accountant, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched a goldfish unsupervised!”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a public accountant,” Vili said. “At least you have a job…and your wife brings a good second income. And no one expects you to be perfect at it. You’re allowed to make some mistakes with the first one.”

Gloin raised his eyebrows. “You expect there to be more?” he squeaked.

Vili shrugged. “Suppose that’s up to you,” he said. “But they work better in pairs.”

*

The leaves had turned colors and the air was just beginning to chill when Gimli Farin quite unexpectedly arrived into the world.

It was hard to say which mood was more prevalent in the Farin household, joy or complete and total fear.

“You went to all those child birthing classes,” Marnie pointed out as she handed her baby to her husband.

“Yeah, but that was about birth,” Gloin said. “They didn’t really say what you’re supposed to do with them after that.” He looked down at the tiny person in his arms, holding him in the most awkward and delicate way possible.

“Well, I’ve got another two months off,” Marnie said. “I’m sure we can work something out by then.”

*

“Mrs. Marnie?”

Marnie looked up from where she was sitting on the porch with Gimli to see Kili and Bombur standing on the walk. She smiled at them. “Hello, boys. Did you want something?”

Bombur shifted a bit, face as red as his hair, but Kili looked at her in wide-eyed earnest. “We wanted to make an offer,” Kili said, pronouncing each word carefully as though they were rehearsed.

Marnie raised her eyebrows. “Oh? And what would that be?”

“Well,” Kili said, drawing the word out as Bombur scuffed his shoes. “We realized that Gimli don’t got any big brothers to help him out, and we don’t got any little brothers, so we wanted to ask if we could be Gimli’s big brothers…you know, play with him and help him in fights and teach him about life.”

Marnie stared at them for a moment, her lips twitching as she tried not to laugh. “That’s a very nice offer,” she said. “And I’m sure that Gimli will be glad to have you as his big brothers when he gets a little bigger.”

Kili grinned and Bombur looked up. “We’ll be the best big brothers!” Kili declared.

“I’m sure you will,” Marnie said. She smiled at them both. “Would you like to come up and see him?”

“Uhhuh!” Kili and Bombur clambered onto the porch and looked closely at the little baby in his blankets.

“He’s real cute,” Bombur said, his voice low.

“Thank you,” Marnie said. “That’s his father’s fault.”

Neither of them seemed to understand what she meant.

*

“You’ll be fine,” Marnie said as she pulled her hair up under her cap. It was a relief to be back in uniform after so long away. “Gimli loves you.” She smiled in the hall mirror at where Gimli had grabbed hold of Gloin’s beard with his tiny hand.

“If he loved me any more, I’d be bald,” Gloin grumbled, trying to keep his head down so Gimli wouldn’t pull too hard.

“There you go,” Marnie said. “Now give us a kiss and get to it.”

Gloin obeyed, giving Marnie a quick kiss before she bent and pecked Gimli’s forehead. “You be good for Daddy, now,” she told him, even though he couldn’t understand. “Mama will be home tonight.” She picked up her toolbox and headed out the door.

Gloin sighed and looked at the little baby in his arms. Yes, he’d be fine, but it was still a daunting task, keeping an eye on a baby while he also did his work. Fortunately, they had found a nice little playpen that fit in the office and Gimli was always very vocal when he needed something.

The trouble was, it was very different to work in a home office rather than a regular one. For one thing, Gloin had to answer all his calls himself. Not that he got many, but he did miss the secretary. For another thing, he kept glancing over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure Gimli was still entertained by the mobile over his head.

Such an enchanting thing, really. Oh, sure, Gloin had seen all the other babies as they had arrived, but this one was _his_ , and it was his job to take care of him, which was something no other father in the neighborhood could claim to have done.

Was it any wonder that he was a nervous wreck?

Marnie had barely been gone an hour before Gimli started wailing. Gloin got up, picked Gimli up and took him downstairs for feeding time. He sat down at the kitchen table, marveling as he fed his son. And even if the feeding and burping process wasn’t the cleanest thing in the world, Marnie wasn’t the only one in the family who could get her hands dirty.

As Gloin took Gimli back upstairs to resume work, Gimli made a soft contented baby noise, and Gloin swore that his baby smiled for him.

Well. Maybe they would be all right.


	18. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little boys are easy to lose. Fortunately, they're also easy to find if you know where to look.

_2000_

“I’m not gonna lose him!” Nori insisted. “I’m ten years old! I can look after my own brother!”

Eileen bit her lip. True, Nori was ten years old, and he was always very careful with Ori, but she wouldn’t exactly call him responsible. She’d had too many carpets, flowerbeds and knickknacks ruined in the last decade to ever use that word about him. “I’m not sure, Nori,” she said. “He’s very little and could get hurt.”

“We’ll be with Bofur and Bombur and Fili and Kili,” Nori argued. “And we’re just going to the park.”

“Please, Mama?” Ori whined. “I wanna go with them and they don’t need their mamas.”

“They’re all older than you, sweet,” Eileen said. “And you just got over that last bout of flu…”

“That was forever ago!” Ori said. “And I wanna go to the park! Please?”

Eileen sighed. Ori really had the sweetest eyes, and Nori wasn’t too far behind in that department. “All right,” she finally said. “But you stay very close to Nori and don’t go wandering off! And Nori, you keep an eye on him and if he gets hurt or lost or anything you send someone to fetch me right away!”

“Yes, Mama!” Nori said. “Come on, Ori!” He grabbed Ori’s hand and they dashed out the door.

*

“Hide and seek!” Kili declared as soon as all the boys were gathered.

The older boys glanced at each other. “That’s a baby’s game,” Bofur grumbled.

“No, it’s not,” Kili whined.

Fili sighed. “Fine, but you gotta be It.”

Kili opened his mouth to protest, but everyone else nodded. “Fine,” Kili said. “Base is that bench.” He went over, closed his eyes and started counting as the other boys took off to hide.

Ori made to follow Nori, but Nori shooed him off. “You gotta hide somewhere different,” Nori hissed. “Or it’ll be too easy for Kili to find us both.”

Ori pouted a bit, but then turned and headed for the treeline. He moved in, going to a little ditch behind a tree and crouching down, making himself as small as possible, which was very tiny indeed, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He couldn’t hear the other boys anymore, just birds and wind. His little legs started to ache from crouching there so long, and it seemed dark. He shivered suddenly, feeling very small and starting to get scared.

But no. Kili would come look for him, and if Kili didn’t find him, Nori would. Yes. That was the point. All he had to do was wait for them.

He waited, sucking on his thumb a bit. His mama had been trying to break him of the habit, but she wasn’t here now.

He waited.

Finally, he figured that the all-clear must have been called. He got up and turned to walk back to the park, even if he had to try and run away from Kili, who was a lot bigger than him.

He walked.

And walked.

That wasn’t the park. Those were buildings he’d never seen, big and slick and shiny. Ori looked around, now more afraid than ever. This wasn’t where he was meant to be, and Nori wasn’t there. Slowly, he began to cry.

*

“Ollie ollie, oxen free!”

Bofur and Fili came creeping out of their hiding places. Nori, sitting on the bench next to Bombur, chuckled a bit. “Looks like you’re not too good at the seeking,” he said.

Kili stuck his tongue out at him. “Whatever,” Kili said. He frowned. “Ori? It’s all clear now!”

There was no response. Nori shot to his feet. “ORI?!” he called.

Nothing. Feeling a bit panicked now, Nori headed toward where he last saw Ori. “Ori, this isn’t funny!” he yelled.

The other boys followed, all looking around for the tiny boy. “ORI!” they all yelled.

No answer. Nori darted into the trees and started checking behind each, carefully staying near the borderline his mother had set years before. Ori was nowhere he could see.

“Oh, no,” Nori muttered. “Mama’s gonna kill me!”

Fili caught up to him, blond hair tangled. “Should I go get her?” he asked.

Nori swallowed. He really didn’t want to get in trouble with his mother. “Um…maybe you should get your mama,” he said. “She’s not gonna get as mad.”

Fili nodded and headed back to the neighborhood. Unfortunately, it was only when he’d entered his house that he remembered his mother and Eileen were never more than a few steps away from each other in the summer.

Dis looked up from her coffee. “Fili? Is something wrong?”

Fili swallowed heavily, trying not to look at Eileen. “Um…” he said. “We were at the park…and we were playing hide and seek…” He shifted from foot to foot. “And…and Kili called the all-clear and we all came back but Ori didn’t and now we can’t find him and we don’t know where he is,” he finished in a rush.

Eileen shot to her feet. “What do you mean, you don’t know where he is?” she demanded. “Weren’t you keeping an eye on him?”

“Eileen, don’t yell at Fili,” Dis said patiently. “I’ll do that myself later.” She got up and got her shoes. “Right now, let’s focus on finding Ori…he can’t have gone too far, his legs aren’t long enough.”

Eileen grabbed her own shoes and was out the door like a shot. Dis took a little more time and then looked at Fili.

“Go over and ask Mr. Dwalin if he’d be so kind as to join us,” she said. “He’s much better at this sort of thing.”

Fili nodded and trotted up the street.

*

Ori had stopped crying and was now wandering down the sidewalk, hoping to get back to someplace he knew. Unfortunately, everything was so _big_ and there were so many _people_ and Ori couldn’t really see anything familiar. No one stopped, or even seemed to notice him, probably because he was so close to the ground.

The sky was definitely getting darker now, and Ori was tired and hungry and very, very scared. His legs hurt and he was out of breath and he just wanted his mama.

Finally, too exhausted and upset to go on, Ori sat down on the curb and started crying again.

“Ori!”

He looked up to see Mr. Dwalin, who lived down the street and gave the boys sweets when their mamas weren’t looking. Ori jumped up and ran to him, hugging him around the knees.

Dwalin patted his head. “There you are,” he muttered. “We were worried.”

Ori let go. “Mr. Dwalin, I’m sorry I ran off but I was scared and I couldn’t find Nori and I didn’t know where I was until I was here and it’s real big and I want my mama!” He started crying again.

Dwalin sighed and knelt down. “It’s okay, Ori,” he said. “We know you didn’t mean to run off and get lost.” He held out his arms and Ori ran into them, letting Dwalin lift him up onto his shoulders. “So let’s take you home and get you some supper, okay?”

“’Kay,” Ori said. Dwalin turned and set off and soon Ori was giggling as he got to ride home.

*

Eileen met them at the end of the street. More specifically, she ran down the entire block to get to them.

“Mama!” Ori called out. Dwalin lifted him down and handed him to Eileen, who gathered him in a hug and kissed his cheek.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she muttered. “And thank you, Dwalin…so much.”

“Of course, Mrs. Scriver,” Dwalin said. “Wouldn’t want to lose this one.” He smiled at Ori. “You be good now and stay inside.”

“Yes, Mr. Dwalin,” Ori said. Dwalin headed home and Eileen carried Ori back to the house.

Nori was waiting inside, scuffing his shoes on the ground. Eileen set Ori down and the boys embraced. She waited until they pulled apart before she turned to Nori, arms crossed.

Nori shrank down, looking extremely guilty. Eileen glared at him. Nori looked at the floor.

“What did I say before you left the house?” she asked, her voice dangerously low.

“’M sorry,” Nori mumbled. “I didn’t mean to…”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM!” Eileen shouted. “YOU’RE LUCKY MR. DWALIN FOUND HIM BEFORE HE WAS HIT BY A CAR OR KIDNAPPED OR HURT—!”

Nori whimpered. His mother didn’t yell at him, never.

“Wasn’t his fault!” Ori suddenly piped up. “I wandered off…he didn’t lose me, I lost myself.”

Eileen opened her mouth to say more, but then she stopped, looking at the boys. Nori was blinking fast, obviously trying not to cry, and Ori’s lip was trembling. She closed her eyes, remembering her method.

_Was anyone hurt?_

No, not really. Ori didn’t have a scratch on him, and Nori was obviously fine.

_Was it his fault?_

That was arguable. Eileen knew it was difficult to keep track of little children, and Nori was flighty, especially when playing. And Ori was the one who’d wandered off.

_Will yelling at him change his behavior?_

Of course it wouldn’t. Nori had been feeling guilty enough before Ori had come home. He obviously knew he’d done wrong without her shouting at him.

Eileen took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” she said. “You’re right…it wasn’t your fault, Nori. Now, both of you go wash up for dinner.”

They nodded and headed upstairs. Ori leaned on Nori as they went and Eileen knew they’d be all right.

*

A few weeks later, Nori was woken up in the middle of the night.

“Nori,” Ori’s tiny voice came. “I can’t find Bear.”

Nori sighed. Ori’s Bear was about the most important thing in his life. “Where’d you see it last?” he asked sleepily.

“When Mama and I went to the pool,” Ori said. “I thought I had him in the bag, but he wasn’t there, and I can’t sleep.”

Nori groaned and got up. He dressed quickly and went to the window, open to let in the summer breeze and took the screen off. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, and then he was gone, shimmying down the tree by his window.

Ori sat down on the bed and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The digital clock on Nori’s bedside table turned numbers. One hour. Two hours. Two and a half. It was almost midnight, the time when every little boy should be in bed. Ori sucked his thumb and started crying.

A few minutes later, his father came into the room. Ori looked up at him, wide-eyed. Lori frowned. “Where’s your brother?” he whispered.

Ori took the thumb out of his mouth. “Went to go find Bear,” he mumbled.

“When?” Lori asked.

“Few hours ago,” Ori mumbled.

Lori paled. “Stay here,” he ordered, and left the room.

Ori didn’t know what happened until half-an-hour later, when there was a knock on the front door. He rushed downstairs.

Dwalin was in the doorway, Nori next to him, holding the lost bear. Lori was talking to Dwalin quietly.

“He’s fine,” Dwalin muttered. “Bit cold, but otherwise unharmed.” He patted Nori’s shoulder. “Stay inside at night,” he said. “It’s dangerous out there.”

“Thank you for finding him,” Lori murmured. “I’m sorry I woke you, I just didn’t know who else to call…”

Dwalin waved his hand. “Any time,” he said. “Good night, Nori…Ori.” He nodded and left.

Lori glared at Nori, who looked down. “Bed,” Lori finally said. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Nori nodded and went to the stairs. He handed Bear to Ori as he passed. “There you go, kid,” he muttered.

“Thank you, Nori,” Ori said. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble again.”

Nori ruffled his hair. “It’s okay,” he said. “I was bored anyway.”

*

Ori liked reading, even at the age of four. He was, admittedly, not great at it, but he could get through more books than most other kids at the preschool, and his mother had taken him in for testing so he could start school early.

“No point keeping him home,” he heard Eileen tell Lori one evening. “He’ll do far better and be less bored if we get him started.”

Lori hummed. “But he’s so young,” he said. “I worry he’ll have trouble with the other children.”

“He’s sweet,” Eileen said. “He gets along well with the other boys here, and he doesn’t get into fights easily. I think he’ll do fine.”

“All right,” Lori agreed. “If you think it’s what’s best.”

Ori was excited to start school, and he was even more excited when he saw the school library. Kindergarteners were only allowed in the beginner’s section, but Ori was eager, and by the end of the month, he had more books on his reading log than everyone else.

It was in one of the books that he had brought home from the library that he found a new term.

“Mama,” he asked one afternoon, looking at the page in the book. “What’s a ‘gu-ar-di-an angel?’”

“Guardian,” Eileen corrected. “The ‘u’ is silent. And it means a being that watches over you and keeps you safe and helps you when you get into trouble.”

“Oh.” Ori thought for a moment. “Like Mr. Dwalin?”

Eileen blinked. “Um…well, I suppose…” she said.

“Mr. Dwalin helps us,” Ori said. “He always finds me and Nori when we get lost, and he’s nice and tells stories and gives me candy.”

“Well,” Eileen said, trying to suppress her laughter at the image that brought to mind. “I suppose that makes him a guardian angel, yes.”

Ori nodded and went back to reading.

*

Eileen mentioned the incident to Dis the next day. She didn’t think she had ever heard her friend laugh for that long.

Dwalin himself was less amused when he heard about it. “Kids these days,” he muttered. “Mixing up definitions and making me out to be the good guy.”

“He did have a point,” Dis said. “You do wonderfully at looking after the boys.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m a fucking angel,” Dwalin muttered.

Eileen swatted at him. “If Ori says so, it must be true,” she said. “And don’t you dare ever deny it to him.”

Dwalin’s face softened a bit. “I would never,” he swore.


	19. The Great Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the morning of September 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter deals with the 9/11 attacks. Nothing graphic.

_2001_

On the morning of September 11, Dis Durin was playing solitaire on her new computer and listening to NPR while drinking her second cup of coffee.

Midway through the broadcast, she stopped her game, hand frozen on the mouse, her eyes suddenly wide.

A moment later, she dove for the phone, dialing Vili’s work number without a second thought. By the time she returned, the coffee was cold.

*

On the morning of September 11, Eileen Scriver was working in her garden, the radio on the porch beside her, extension cords running inside.

Midway through the broadcast, she turned around, her face chalk white, her grip on her spade tightening.

A minute later, she dropped it, dashing into the house and dialing Lori’s office.

*

On the morning of September 11, Gloin Farin took an early work break to take Gimli outside to run around the yard for a while. He smiled at the tiny boy on his chubby legs, rolling in the dirt.

He could distantly hear Eileen’s radio from down the street. When he saw her turn and dash inside, he quickly moved to pick up Gimli and go listen.

It took a moment, but then he followed Eileen inside. He waited for her to finish her phone call before she looked at him.

“Gloin,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t…”

He moved and hugged her with one arm. Gimli didn’t understand what was going on, but he hugged her as well.

*

On the morning of September 11, Betsy Mattocks was at work at the local grocery store.

A coworker dashed in from the break room, whispering to all the other cashiers, then to Betsy.

She dropped the milk her customer had just handed her.

“Hey!” he said. “Watch it!”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “New York’s just been attacked.”

*

On the morning of September 11, Thorin, Dwalin and Marnie were having a slow day at work, it being only nine o’clock on a Tuesday. Thorin flicked through a magazine while Dwalin and Marnie chatted about Gimli’s first word (“dada”), the TV playing in the background.

Thorin was the first to look up. His magazine slipped from his hand and he shoved Dwalin to silence him, pointing silently at the broadcast.

Dwalin and Marnie turned to watch, their faces registering even more shock as the news reporter’s voice grew ever more frantic. Marnie started crying a few minutes in.

Dwalin looked at Thorin. “Do you want me to call Thran—?”

“I doubt you’ll be able to get through to him,” Thorin said. “Phone lines are probably all tied up.”

*

On the morning of September 11, Nori and Bofur were passing notes in class, only looking up when the teacher was too close to them.

Their teacher was just about to catch them when there was a knock on the door and one of the teachers on break came in and whispered to her. The teachers whispered back and forth for a while before the one in charge of the class turned to them.

“Class,” she said. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

She told them what was happening. People were crashing planes into buildings in New York and Washington DC. The children sat, frozen in place, trying to comprehend what she was saying.

Finally, Bofur raised his hand. “Miss,” he said, his voice small. “Are we going to go to war?”

The teacher looked at him and just started crying.

*

On the morning of September 11, Ori was having library time with his class. He had curled up in the corner with the first Harry Potter book, doing his best to read it, his mouth sounding out the words he didn’t know. It was a major exception for the librarian to let a first grader look at this book, and Ori was determined to read it.

But then his teacher came in and said library time was being cut short and they were going to recess. Ori reluctantly gave the book back to the librarian and followed his class out to the playground.

He didn’t know what was happening until Kili came over—the third graders always had recess at this time—and said, “The teachers are all worried.”

“Why?” Ori asked.

“Cause some bad people were flying planes into buildings and America is in trouble and we’re gonna go to war.”

Ori looked at Kili, his eyes huge. “But...”

“Yeah.”

Ori sat down next to Kili and leaned on him.

*

On the morning of September 11, Dori Scriver left his office in Minneapolis and didn’t stop driving until he was back on campus. He parked in the visitor’s lot and went up to a familiar office.

Balin was sitting there, head in hands as the radio played. Dori went and put a hand on his shoulder.

Balin looked up. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Who’s working right now?” Dori asked bitterly.

“You know how many people we left there?” Balin asked.

“Too many,” Dori said. “Which one do you want to call first?”

“No one right now,” Balin said. He stood up and hugged Dori. Dori was a bit surprised, but he hugged back. “Come on,” Balin said. “Let’s go get some tea.”

*

On the morning of September 11, Vili Durin watched the TV in the office, sipping at his coffee, his expression stony.

When the secretary came over and said his wife was on the line, Vili went and answered.

“Vili,” Dis said.

“I know,” he said. “You know what I’m going to do.”

She was quiet. “We’ll discuss it when you get home,” she said. “I just…”

“I know.” Vili took a breath. “This is…it’s not going to end here.”

“No,” she said. “It’s not.”

*

On the morning of September 11, Bifur was sitting in one of his gen ed courses, doodling on a bit of paper.

It wasn’t until he got to the cafeteria that he even knew something was wrong. The room was silent for once, everyone watching the TV as it played the news.

Bifur watched, his horror mounting, before he abruptly turned and left. He got to the bus stop and hopped on the next one going back home.

His mother was at home; her shift at the diner wasn’t scheduled to start until that afternoon. She was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV in shock.

Bifur sat down next to her and took her hand. “Ma…”

“ _Uimh níos mó_ ,” she said. “ _Uimh níos mó_.”

*

On the morning of September 11, Fili had no idea what was happening. His teachers didn’t gossip, didn’t share news with their students, didn’t discuss the attacks.

It wasn’t until his mother came to pick him up from school that he even knew anything was wrong.

He listened as she carefully explained what had happened, as Kili said that his teacher did tell them what was happening.

He could tell Kili didn’t understand. Hell, he didn’t understand, either. But Fili could see it in his mother’s eyes that whatever this was, everything was about to change.

He gripped his mother’s hand, even though he hadn’t held her hand on the way home from school in years. He could tell she’d spent most of the day crying.

He didn’t say a word as they went home and Dis set about getting snacks for him and Kili, her radio still playing.

*

Everyone gathered in the Durins’ living room that night, the news playing on the TV. It was crowded, but no one wanted to be too far away from each other.

The boys all clung to their mothers, not understanding what was happening, all afraid. If their mothers were crying, if even their fathers were blinking back tears, that must mean that everything was falling apart.

Dis met Vili’s eyes throughout the broadcast. She knew what he was going to do, but she wasn’t going to talk about it now. Not with all their friends and relatives around them.

And wasn’t that lucky, that they could all be together? That they were safe in Saint Paul and that this wouldn’t touch them directly.

She glanced at Thorin once, knowing what he was thinking. That perhaps they had been lucky to leave New York when they did. That he couldn’t know how many people he had known back there had been injured or killed. That whatever happened, at least they had made it out alive.

She held Vili’s hand, and petted Kili’s hair, and wished to wake up.

*

“I have to go, Dis.”

She nodded once. “I know.” There was no changing Vili’s mind once it was made up. He was calm, and steady, and he would never, ever make the decision not to do what he thought was right.

Dwalin snorted. “Like hell you’re going alone,” he said.

Vili glanced at him. “I can’t ask you to…”

“Who else is going to keep you out of trouble?” Dwalin asked. “Don’t think anyone else here is under the minimum recruitment age and has a clean enough record.”

Thorin nodded, but Balin glared at his brother. “You’re going to get yourself killed,” he said.

“You don’t know that,” Dwalin said. “War hasn’t been formally declared yet. But we want to be ready when it is.”

Dis nodded again. “Do what you must,” she said. “But let me make one thing clear—wherever they put you, the boys and I are staying here. It will be safer and less disruptive for them.”

Vili nodded back. “I agree.” He stood and went to her, kneeling beside her chair. “I love you, Dis.”

She embraced him. The other three waited a moment, then came over and hugged them as well.


	20. New Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili have decided to start learning the violin.

_2002_

“Mama?”

“Hmm?” Dis looked up from her newspaper to see Fili looking a bit shifty. “What is it, love?”

“I know it’s a bit late,” he said. “But…I wanna learn the violin.”

Dis blinked. From the way Fili had been acting, she had assumed it was something terrible. “Why the sudden interest?” she asked.

Fili shifted, looking embarrassed. “Well, we heard an orchestra concert today from the high school and it just…I wanna do it. Please?”

Dis sighed. Fili and Kili had both been especially down since Vili and Dwalin had left to join the army, and she was finding it hard to say no to them over anything. “Well…I suppose we can look into it,” she said. “Tell you what. We can go to the music store this weekend and get you one, and then we can see about lessons.” She paused a moment. “Does Kili want to learn as well?”

Fili looked down. “Well…the orchestra played for the elementary schools, too,” he mumbled. “And Kili really liked the violins…and it’s always better to learn together, isn’t it?”

Dis hid her smile. “Yes,” she said solemnly. “It is better to learn together. But you both have to promise to practice hard if I’m going to pay for lessons.”

“Yes, Mama.”

*

“You bought Fili and Kili WHAT?”

“Violins,” Dis answered, pouring Eileen another cup of coffee. “They wanted to learn, and having an instrument is good for the mind.”

“Maybe so,” Eileen said. “But there’s a reason I sent Nori to learn piano at Betsy’s house. At least he can’t bring that home with him.”

“Oh, hush,” Dis snapped. “You don’t actually have to live with it.”

“No, but you know Fili and Kili. The moment they’ve mastered ‘Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,’ they’ll want to show all their friends, which means they’ll bring it into my house.”

“Well, I think it’s splendid,” Betsy interrupted as Dis filled her cup as well. “I’ve missed fiddling.”

“Do you play, Betsy?” Dis asked. “Never would have thought it of you.”

“I used to,” Betsy said. “Peg and I were quite the double act when we were young…little older than the lads. But we both gave it up when we married.” She sighed and stared into the distance. “Ah, how I miss it now—The Kelley Sisters, with Their Magic Fiddles!” She laughed a bit.

“Why don’t you take it up again?” Eileen asked. “At least then Fili and Kili can have someone to model for them.”

Betsy sighed. “Bit late, isn’t it?” she asked. “I mean, it’s all well and good for them, being so young, but thirty-eight seems like quite a mature age to relearn old hobbies.”

“Never too late,” Dis countered. “Might be good for you…relearn something you like, not just riding hard on the boys and working in a shop. Besides, you already know it, don’t you? Just have to freshen up a bit!”

“Think it’s been too long,” she said. “I don’t remember how to play anymore.” She smiled. “But don’t you girls worry about me. And if you want them to practice elsewhere, you can send them over. I’d love to have music all through my house, even if it’s rough.”

*

“Maybe we should make our own orchestra,” Nori suggested. It had been two weeks since Fili and Kili had started violin lessons, and while it was a bit rough, they at least had a bit of foundation reading music. “You two play violin, and Bofur and I play piano, and I think I could learn to play bass if I tried…”

“Maybe,” Fili said. “But I dunno if I’ll get really good at violin.” They were sitting in the Mattocks’s living room, violins in hand with Bofur and Nori at the piano.

“Sure you will,” Bofur said. “You’ve only been doing it for two weeks. I know I wasn’t good at piano after two weeks.”

“Yeah, but you were also five years old,” Kili argued. “No one’s good at anything when they’re five.”

“No one’s good at anything after two weeks,” Nori countered.

“Yeah, well, let’s see how good we get,” Fili said. “Before we start talking about orchestras.”

*

To be fair, they did get better. By the time summer rolled around, Fili and Kili were at least proficient with their instruments to the point where their mother wasn’t wincing every time they started practicing.

And they did work hard at it, practicing separately for an hour every afternoon, and then practicing together for another hour. Dis could tell they were both improving, and told them so, carefully not mentioning that Kili seemed to be picking it up much quicker than Fili.

“It is nice, to have music back in the house,” she said to Thorin one afternoon.

Thorin grunted. “Not like anyone’s stopping you playing the radio,” he mumbled.

“Radio doesn’t have anything good,” Dis argued. “Unless I want to listen to classical day in and day out. And tuning into an oldies station just gives me stuff from the 60s. Not bad, but…well, it’s not the same as live music.”

Thorin raised his eyebrows at her. “You want live music?” he asked. “Even if it’s from those two?”

“Well, you don’t play anymore,” she pointed out. “And it’s been years since I last held a guitar...and I was never as good at it.”

“No,” Thorin agreed. “You sang better, though.”

Dis hummed. “Maybe a bit,” she admitted. They fell silent, listening to the practice upstairs.

“They do seem to have talent,” Thorin admitted. “Who knows? Maybe they’ll be able to make names for themselves.”

Dis sighed. “Maybe,” she said. “But…well, we’ll keep them on the right path.”

“Yes,” Thorin agreed. “They won’t…I won’t let them be like me. I promise you that.”

Dis smiled a bit. “Being like you isn’t a bad thing,” she said. “Once you remembered who you are.”


	21. Delinquent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori is trouble and no one knows how to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Sorry for the long delay, but we should be back on schedule now!

_2003_

 Bofur picked up the CD and checked his wallet. He blew out a little frustrated breath and turned to Nori. “Guess I’ll get it next week. I’ll have enough allowance money by then.” He put the CD back on the shelf and started heading off to another section of the store. Nori glanced back at the shelf section for a short moment to remember where it was, and followed, starting up a conversation about a movie they were going to see in a couple days.

 They had just left the store and emerged into the main mall when Nori stopped and patted his pockets. “Aw, shoot, I must’ve dropped my bus pass in there.” He raised his hand and said, “You can wait here, I think I know where I lost it. I shouldn’t be long.” He turned and jogged back in, straight to the section that the CD Bofur wanted was in.

 Nori glanced around, making sure no one was around. Then he picked it up and slid it up his shirt and into the waistband of his jeans. The corners of the case poked a little into his skin as he walked, but he managed to stride normally and not attract attention. He stopped on the way out to pretend to look at something on the rack for a few seconds, then walked out, grateful the CD didn’t have any security tag that would set the scanner off. He couldn’t deny that the rush of nerves as he walked out felt good.

 “Find it?” Bofur asked.

 Nori smiled. “Yep. Come on, I’m getting hungry. Food court.”

 “Feeling Chinese today?”

 “Yeah, sounds good.”

*

 Nori waited until they were out of the mall and waiting for the bus to head home to take out the CD and give it to Bofur. “Here you go.”

 “Wow, thanks.” Bofur grinned. Then his brow furrowed. “Though… why haven’t you been carrying it around in a bag?”

 “Thought I’d surprise you.”

 That was enough for Bofur to accept. “Want to stay a bit at my house and listen to it with me?”

 “Of course.”

 “So, got anything else in your pants?”

 Nori laughed and swatted his friend’s shoulder. “Hey, fitting that in there was already a little uncomfortable.”

 “At least you weren’t wearing girl jeans. Would’ve been impossible.”

 “Are you suggesting I would ever wear girl jeans?”

 Bofur’s mouth twitched upwards at the thought. “Maybe…”

 “Well if I ever did, you’d have to wear a frilly tight shirt or something. Make it fair.”

 “Aye… I suppose that’s fair.”

 “Ridiculous…” Nori said, shaking his head. “Oh, there’s our bus coming.”

 *

 “I feel like I’ll have to repay you for this,” Bofur said, taking off the plastic from around the CD when they had gone into his room and closed the door. “Next week-“

 “Don’t worry about it,” Nori dismissed.

 “Well I have to do something. Not fair otherwise.”

 “I mean it. You don’t need to.”

 Bofur got the sense that there was something his best friend wasn’t telling him. He looked at him with his brow raised.

 Nori flashed a little grin. “Alright, want to know a secret? And I mean it, you have to keep it secret.”

 “Okay…” Bofur slowly said.

 Nori dropped his voice volume, not wanting to chance the possibility of anyone hearing through the door. “I didn’t pay for it.”

 “You what?” Bofur’s eyes widened.

 “I didn’t pay for it. So you don’t have to pay me back or anything.”

 “Nori!” Bofur hissed, cuffing him on the side of the head.

 “Hey, what was that for?”

 “You stole this?”

 “That’s another word for it… yeah.” Nori put up his hands defensively. “No harm done, though. You got something you wanted, I didn’t caught, and here we are.”

 “I guess…”

 “So you won’t tell, right?”

 “No, I won’t. It’s a secret. Thank you for it.”

 Nori grinned. “Now turn it on and let’s listen.”

 *

 Nori knocked on Ori’s half-open door. When his brother looked up, occupied with reading on his bed, Nori tossed a new sketchbook and case of drawing pencils over to him. “I noticed that your sketchbook is getting close to full, and your special pencils were getting short.” He leaned against the doorframe to watch Ori look them over.

 Ori flipped through the new book, then opened the case. He looked up and smiled. “I was going to ask mama or dad to buy me new ones soon.”

 “Well now you don’t have to,” Nori replied with a smile at seeing Ori’s happiness.

 Ori got up and hugged Nori. When he pulled back, he suggested, “Maybe I should do your dishes duty for a few days to pay you back.”

 “No, don’t worry about it.”

 Ori beamed, and went back over to his bed, grabbing a marker from the desk. He carefully wrote his name on the sketchbook cover and the number two.

 “So what’s going to be your first drawing in this one?”

 “Don’t know yet. There’s still a few pages in the other one to do first. But I’ll let you know when I do it.”

 “Boys, dinner,” Eileen said, coming up behind Nori.

 “Mama!” Ori bounded off his bed again, the new book and pencils in hand. “Look what Nori got me!”

 “Very nice,” Eileen commented.

 “Yeah, and he isn’t asking me to do dishes for it or anything.”

 “That so?” Eileen looked to Nori, who simply smiled. “How sweet of you, buying him things.”

 Nori shrugged. “He needed it, and I could get it while I was out today.”

 Eileen kissed the top of Nori’s head. “Come on, your dad is waiting to start dinner.”

 Ori put the sketchbook and case on his desk, and hugged Nori again on his way to the stairs.

 “Thank you for that,” Eileen complimented when her youngest son was out of earshot.

 “No problem.”

 “You’re a good big brother to him.”

 That made Nori feel particularly proud.

 *

 “I’ll be in the TV area,” Lori told his son as they entered Best Buy. “Go on and look at whatever you want.”

 It didn’t take long for Nori to find a bunch of little electronic knick-knacks he wanted. He had successfully slipped a few into his light hoodie pockets before he decided to look at the new video games. Unfortunately, he was not as successful at slipping one into jeans waistband unnoticed.

 “Hey, take that out of your pants right now.”

 Nori spun to find a store associate staring at him. The first time he’d been caught. “Uh…” Nori did as the man asked, and put the game back on the shelf. “Sorry, I won’t do it again.”

 The man took the game and said, “Empty your pockets.”

 “What?”

 “Pockets.”

 With a heavy sigh, Nori did so, handing the items to the employee.

 “Now, I think I saw you come in with your dad. An adult man, at least.”

 “No… don’t tell him? I promise I won’t try it again.”

 “I’m telling him, or my manager, who will tell the police.”

 With that choice, Nori nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s in the TV area…”

 The employee shifted the items in his hands to carry them in one, then took Nori’s by the shoulder and took him to the area. “Sir?” he addressed when they found Lori.

 “What’s going on here?” Lori immediately asked.

 “Is this your son?”

 “Yes… what’s he done?”

 “I caught him stealing. These were in his pockets and he was shoving this into his pants.”

 “Nori, is this true?” Lori kept his tone calm.

 Nori didn’t answer, until the suggestion of looking at security tapes to prove it was brought up. “Yeah, I did.”

*

 The car ride home was very uncomfortable. Lori was almost completely silent, and Nori knew not to say anything.  He wasn’t going to be able to talk his way out of trouble and getting punished for it. He couldn’t come up with any convincing reasons for it. So all he could do was ride it out.

 Lori grabbed his son’s shoulder and led inside the house, to where Eileen and Ori were reading together.

 Eileen looked up and started to ask, “Did you two find a new tv-“ then stopped at the quiet furious expression on her husband’s face. “What happened?”

 “Ori, please go to your room. Your mother, Nori, and I have something to discuss.”

 Ori glanced between the three of them, before deciding it would be best to do as he was told without asking any questions. He put the bookmark into his book and hurried up the stairs.

 Lori waited until he heard Ori’s door close before pushing Nori down onto the couch and stating, “Our son was caught trying to steal.”

 “Nori?” Eileen prompted, voice hardening.

 “Yeah, I did,” Nori admitted, knowing there was no point in trying to play innocent now.

 “Nori Scriver! I know I raised you better than that!” Eileen’s voice rose with every word.

 Nori flinched, because his mother didn’t really yell, except that time Ori had gotten lost at the park.

 Lori crossed his arms. “Why would you do it? I make enough money to provide you with things you want. You could’ve asked me to get those things for you, and I probably would’ve.”

 “I… just felt like it, I guess.”

 “Just felt like it?!” Lori shouted. “You just felt like it? You just felt like doing something I know we did not raise you to do, embarrass me and yourself in the store, and risk getting arrested? You are damn lucky the manager decided to let me handle this and let you go instead of calling the police on you!” 

 Eileen put a hand on Lori’s arm, and asked, “Is this the first time you’ve done this?”

 Nori took a breath, and answered, “Yes.”

 “Right now, Nori, I don’t know if I can believe you. I can’t even believe you would do this. You have no reason to go around stealing things, especially when your father works hard to provide for you.” Eileen closed her eyes for a few seconds. “Go to your room, right now, while your father and I discuss what we’re going to do with you.”

 Nori didn’t argue, and ran up the stairs. Ori poked his head out of his room and said, “They sound really mad. You’re in big trouble, aren’t you?”

 “Yeah, the biggest trouble.” Nori went to his room and closed the door. He looked out the window, considering sneaking out and running off for a bit, but decided that would only get him into more trouble. He fell back onto his bed and berated himself. “Stupid… stupid… stupid…”

 He got up a moment later at the sound of his parents’ voices rising again, and quietly moved to the stairs to listen, already feeling some guilt at making them argue with each other.

“What do you suggest, then?” Lori snapped. “You’ve let him run wild, so what do you propose to fix it?”

“I don’t let him run wild!” Eileen protested. “I’ve done my best with him, he’s just…impossible!”

“More like you haven’t tried to control him.”

“What, like locking him up is going to do any good? He’s a boy, they run around, they get in trouble!”

“And you don’t enforce any sort of discipline!” There was a thump, like Lori had slammed his fist on the table. “And if we don’t do something, he’s going to get into serious trouble with the law!”

“So this is my fault?” Eileen snapped, her voice rising. “You’re saying I raised him to be a delinquent?”

“I certainly didn’t raise him—!”

“That’s right, you didn’t!” There was silence and Nori curled in on himself. His parents didn’t fight that often, but when they did, it got nasty quickly. “You didn’t raise him at all, Lori,” Eileen continued, a bit calmer now. “You just went off to your office and left me here, good little wife to raise the children and clean the house and cook you dinner, and you’re never around, and you don’t take any interest in them except when they’re in trouble!”

“That’s not true, Eileen, you know I care about them…about all of you! Would I work so hard if I didn’t?”

She sighed, long and growly. Nori covered his ears—he hated it when his mother made that noise.

“You don’t understand him,” she said. “You don’t try to know him at all…there’s more to life than just providing him money, you know.”

“And I suppose he gets everything he wants from you coddling him?”

“I do not—!”

“Fine.” There was a moment of silence before Lori’s footsteps could be heard. “I’ll deal with him, then. You just go back to your cooking and cleaning and I’ll handle Nori, since you clearly…”

“Finish that sentence and I will end you,” Eileen said, her voice dangerously quiet. “This is no more my fault than yours, and I’m not going to stand here and take the blame!”

Nori braced himself for when the shouting would start again, but it didn’t. Instead, his father sighed. “You’re right,” Lori said. “You’re right, this isn’t your fault…it isn’t anyone’s fault but his. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Eileen said. “And I’m sorry, too. Now, what should we actually do?”

Their voices grew too quiet to hear, but Nori waited. At last, he heard Eileen calling him downstairs.

“Nori,” Lori said as soon as he was in the room. “Your mother and I are both very disappointed in your behavior.” And there was the father Nori knew, always cool and in control. Always business-like. “We have discussed this, and we have agreed that you will be grounded for the next month. No phone calls, no computer, no TV, no visitors or going out. Furthermore, we will be withholding your allowance during that time. Is that understood?”

Nori nodded. “Yes, sir,” he mumbled.

“Good,” Lori said. “Now go to your room. We’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”


	22. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters from the war and back.

_March 15, 2002_

_Dear Fili, Kili and Dis,_

_I miss you all. Army base isn’t nearly as nice as home. On the other hand, getting a lot more exercise._

_It’s weird being one of the oldest guys around. Most of these boys are kids, eighteen or nineteen. All of them are after college scholarships and the like. But they all seem like good kids, and it’s nice having people who look up to you, though Dwalin would deny it._

_We’ve started basic, and it’s hard stuff. Lot of push-ups, lot of running. Like the most intense PE class you can imagine. Wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re really committed._

_I heard you boys are starting violin. How’s that going? Going to join the school orchestra? You’ll have to play for me when we get leave. How’s school? Hope you’re both studying hard and getting good grades._

_Dis, I hope you’re not burning the city down without me, and that you’re keeping Thorin under control. Tell me all the neighborhood gossip I’m missing, because I know you want to._

_Love,_

_Vili_

_March 20, 2002_

_Dear Vili,_

_I’m glad to hear you’re doing well and that you’re settling in. Try not to kill yourself before you finish training. I’d love to show off a buffed-up husband at the next PTA meeting._

_The boys are both doing well. Fili and Kili have both joined the orchestra, though they’re in the back since they’re new to it. Kili’s teacher has high hopes for him. I hope so—it would be nice to have live music back in the house. They’re both doing well in school, and Fili brought home his first straight-A report card for the third quarter._

_I’m doing my best to keep the neighborhood running smoothly, and it seems to be working. At any rate, we haven’t had any major crises…well, not unless you count Mrs. Henderson’s passive-aggressive comments at the PTA bake sale, but Eileen managed to discretely hit her in the back of the head with a spoonful of frosting._

_Thorin is fine and behaving himself. He and Marnie and Balin are all down because you two are gone, but they’re holding up well enough._

_The boys have put in letters as well. I’m sorry about Kili’s penmanship. He’s trying to get in the habit of writing cursive and it’s not working very well._

_Give my love to Dwalin. Be safe and come home._

_Love,_

_Dis_

_Dear Dad,_

_Violin is going well and I’m in the orchestra. I’m going to get better and maybe you can see a concert when you come home._

_I got straight A’s in school this quarter! My teachers say that I will do well in high school and can probably get good scholarships. But they keep asking what I want to do when I grow up and don’t seem impressed when I say I want to be like Uncle Thorin. But what’s wrong with being a mechanic?_

_Basic doesn’t sound fun. No offense, but I don’t think I’ll join the army. I don’t like PE that much._

_Love,_

_Fili._

_Dear Dad,_

_I like playing vilin, and I love being in the orcestra. My teacher says I’m gonna be real good at it._

_Scool is fine, but spelling is real hard. My teacher keeps giving me extra home work to do and says I mite need speshul help. But my math teacher says I’m smart, and who cares about spelling anyway?_

_I hope you and Mr. Dwalin are having a good time, even if you have to exersize a lot._

_Love,_

_Kili_

_April 14, 2002_

_Dear Fili,_

_Happy birthday! I hope you got everything you wanted this year. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for me to come home for your present—it’s not something I can ship well._

_I’m very proud that you got straight A’s on your report card. Keep up the good work! And of course I’ll come see your orchestra concert as soon as I can._

_I think growing up to be like Thorin is a perfectly good goal to have. He’s a good man, and I don’t want you to let anyone tell you otherwise—except maybe your mother, but she’s his younger sister and has to say that. Being a mechanic is a very respectable job, and one that requires a lot of skill. I would be very proud if you went down that path._

_I won’t be able to write again for a while—part of our training is to be able to go a while without talking to our families. I’m very sad about this, but I promise that as soon as I can, I will send as many letters as I can._

_Love,_

_Dad._

_November 21, 2002_

_Dear Dis, Fili and Kili,_

_We will be going on leave at the start of December and be home through the New Year. We are both very eager to see you all._

_Dis, we’ll be flying into Minneapolis on the second, if you would be so kind as to pick us up. Tell Thorin he can hang lights this year._

_Looking forward to Christmas at home._

_Love,_

_Vili_

_February 5, 2003_

_Dear Balin,_

_We’re getting shipped out to Afghanistan at the end of the month. Vili couldn’t bring himself to write it. Please tell Dis and the boys._

_We’ll be careful, I promise. Please don’t worry._

_Dwalin_

_March 1, 2003_

_Dear Dwalin,_

_Acknowledged. Good luck. I love you._

_Balin_

_May 3, 2003_

_Dear Dis,_

_We’re in Afghanistan. There’s a lot of sand. Other than that, not much to say since we’ve only seen the base and the battlefield, neither of which I wish to speak of in detail._

_I won’t tell you the bad things, because you were made for good. Tell me the good things, I beg you. Maybe words about violins will drown out the explosions._

_Please keep them safe. I keep dreaming of horrible things, even though I’ve barely seen action. I can’t help but be afraid, even though I chose to do this. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry._

_Love,_

_Vili_

_June 16, 2003_

_Dear Vili,_

_Kili’s teacher says he has a real gift. His playing is beautiful, or as beautiful as nine-year-olds get. He has mastered many basic pieces, and I want you to hear them all. Fili follows nearly as well, but his hands, I think, are meant more for a guitar. Thorin has said he will teach Fili another instrument only after he has mastered the first._

_I almost want to start playing myself again. I certainly keep writing poetry in my few idle moments, and melodies are playing in my head again. I keep dreaming about the things I gave up, the things that might have been, the things I could have done. Perhaps it’s my own fear, but I almost wish it had gone that way, that I was still Dis Oakenshield, with my beauty and my own music career._

_But then I remember you, and the boys, and I don’t regret any of it. I can still write songs, can’t I, and now about topics more deep than my dresses! Maybe when you come home, I’ll have my guitar ready to play for you again._

_There, I hope that has cheered you up. Do not fear, my love, for we are well, and you will come home, and I will always love you. And if you are afraid, remember that you are not and never will be alone._

_Love,_

_Dis_

_September 14, 2003_

_Dear Mr. Dwalin,_

_Hi, it’s Ori. We were given an assinement of writing a letter to a soldier in class, and my teacher said if we know one we can write to him, so I picked you._

_How are you? I hope that you are having a good time in the army and that you are safe. I want you to come home, because Nori keeps getting in trouble and I know you could help him._

_I am doing well. I am having a good time in school and making friends. I finished reading the first three Harry Potter books and they were awesome. I hope I can be a wizard when I turn 11._

_I hope you come home soon. Thank you for serving our country. (I don’t know what that means, but teacher said we should write it.)_

_Your friend,_

_Ori_

_October 3, 2003_

_Dear Ori,_

_Thank you for the letter. It was very nice to hear from you._

_I’m glad you’re doing well in school and are enjoying it. I think you could be a great wizard someday, if you try, though I don’t know if your dad would approve of that career path._

_I’m sorry to hear that Nori is having trouble. I don’t think there’s much I can do to stop that, but I can try the next time I’m home._

_I will be home sometime this fall, and you can tell me more then. (I don’t know why people thank us for our service, either, but it’s nice to say.)_

_Your friend,_

_Dwalin_

_November 15, 2003_

_Dear Mr. Dwalin,_

_I drew a picture for you. Mama says I’m a really good artist, and I hope you like it. It’s a picture of our family, though teacher was confused when I showed her. She said there are too many people, and I said that’s my family, and she asked how we were all related and I said that didn’t matter._

_She didn’t like that much and gave me a black mark for being mouthy, but she couldn’t fail the project because it’s still good, and Mama went to school to talk to her about the black mark and said that I’m right and we’re all family, and Kili says that teacher is mean anyway and doesn’t get kids._

_Nori got in trouble again today for skipping school. He said he had other things to do, but Daddy told him nothing is more important than school. I don’t know what’s the matter with him, but he keeps doing bad things and getting in trouble and it scares me. I don’t want him to be bad, but he says that it’s not that he’s bad, he’s just bored. I don’t understand._

_What’s being in the army like? Mrs. Dis always looks sad whenever someone mentions it and Mama says she’s scared for you and Mr. Vili. Is it scary out there? I thought it was a good thing._

_Your friend,_

_Ori_

_December 12, 2003,_

_Dear Ori,_

_Thank you for the drawing. It’s wonderful. I put it by my bunk where everyone who visits me will be able to see it. The other soldiers say it’s cute, and ask about you. And you’re right—we are all family, and your teacher was wrong that we have to be related by blood (though your dad is a very distant cousin of mine!) Family means the people we choose to have around us who we love, and that means you’re right._

_I don’t know what to tell you about Nori, except that most boys go through a rebellious phase where they get in trouble, and he’ll probably grow out of it._

_But if it makes you feel better, we will be home for the month of January, and I can try to talk to him then. I can’t promise I’ll make anything better, but I can certainly try._

_Being in the army is hard, and it can be scary. We’re fighting against bad people who want to kill other people who don’t think like they do, and that means there’s very real danger. Your mama probably won’t thank me for telling you this, but I don’t think you should be sheltered from it. But don’t worry about me—I mostly just fix the army cars and trucks, though I’m in the field sometimes, and that’s where it’s really scary. But I can be brave, because I have a family to live for._

_I will see you soon. I hope you can draw lots of pictures to show me when I get there._

_Your friend,_

_Dwalin_


	23. Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an Irish festival going on. This will make a good family outing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S STILL MONDAY SO I'M NOT LATE!

_2003_

_The farmer’s daughter, she got up,_

_To bolt the kitchen door,_

_And there she saw the beggar standing_

_Naked on the floor._

_He took the daughter in his arms_

_And to the bed, he ran._

_“Good sir,” said she,_

_“Be easy now,_

_“You’ll waken our good man…”_

“Could try playing something less risqué,” Betsy commented as she entered the living room. Bofur grinned at her.

“Come on, Ma, it’s a classic!” he said. “Bif plays it all the time!”

She laughed. “Aye, your cousin is a horrible influence on you,” she said.

Bofur couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“And speaking of the classics,” Betsy said as soon as they were done laughing. “I got an interesting flier at the shop today.” She passed it over to him.

“Irish festival?” Bofur said. “Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Nor did I,” Betsy said. “But it’s next weekend, so I thought I’d ask if you’d like to go learn about the Americanized version of your heritage.”

Bofur shrugged. “Could be fun,” he said. “Hear some decent music, anyway.”

“Don’t force yourself, love,” Betsy said.

“I’d love to go,” Bofur said hastily.

“Thought so,” Betsy said. “I’ll see if Bombur wants to come and if Bifur can get away from work for the weekend.”

*

It was a pleasant day, sunny and not too hot, the perfect day for a festival. There were plenty of people around, and there was music in the air. All in all, Betsy felt that handing her boys some money and setting them loose was a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and Bofur and Bombur were happy to take off and investigate anything they could.

“Takes me back,” Brian said, breathing deeply as they passed one of the food stands. “Nothing like home, of course, but it’s something.”

“Aye,” Betsy said sadly. “Gets harder to remember what it was like.” She closed her eyes for a moment as a few strains of “Whiskey in the Jar” washed over her from one of the tents. “But I remember this song.”

“Remember playing it at Mickey’s?” Peg asked from her other side. “Before his bar shut down…one of our best nights, I think.”

“I don’t know about that,” Betsy said. “It was all so long ago...” She hummed for a moment.

_There’s some that take delights,_

_In the drinkin’ and the roavin’,_

_And some that take delights_

_In the carriages a-rollin’…_

Bifur stood still, watching the band play for a moment. “They’re pretty good,” he said. “For locals.”

“Aye,” Peg said. She and Bifur wandered closer. “Oh, I miss it…not just the playing, but all of it. I remember, when I was about your age and I met your father…we’d go dancing most nights, the old dances…did I ever teach you to dance, Bif?”

“You didn’t,” Bifur said. “Dad tried, a few times…before. Haven’t tried in a while.”

“Nor have I.” They were quiet, watching as people took to the floor, some better than others, but all of them looked happy.

“Would you like to dance, Ma?” Bifur asked, smiling at her.

“You can do better than your old ma,” Peg said. “Go on, that lass is smiling at you.”

Bifur glanced over and shrugged. “Come on,” he said. “You’re better than I am.”

Peg smiled and Bifur pulled her out to the dance floor as the band struck up a faster song, though Peg quickly took control, laughing at her son’s clumsy attempts to remember how to dance.

If anything, the girl across the floor smiled more.

*

Bofur wandered through the craft stalls, examining the art though none of it really caught his eye. His parents had only given him fifty dollars to spend, and he wanted to save it for something really special.

He stopped and listened to some of the music for a while, watched some of the dancers, but didn’t linger long. He almost wanted to steal a stage and start singing, but decided that he’d get in more trouble than it would be worth.

He wandered deeper into the tents, glancing around at everything. Some of the vendors looked at him suspiciously, but he didn’t mind, just kept looking…

And then he spotted it, a table where a number of beautiful hand-carved instruments were spread out. He wandered over to look at them.

“Good afternoon,” the vendor said. She was sitting by the table, whittling away at another piece. “Can I interest you in anything, young man?”

“Maybe,” Bofur said. He watched her carve for a few minutes. “These are pretty.”

“Thank you,” she said. She studied him for a moment. “What’s your instrument, then?”

“Piano,” he said. “Though I am thinking about learning flute.” He looked at one of the flutes on the table. “My cousin carves,” he said suddenly.

“Does he?” the vendor asked, and she sounded genuinely interested. “What’s he make?”

“Toys, mostly,” Bofur said. “Toys and statues…and he’s been teaching me, but I’m nowhere near as good as he is.”

“Takes practice,” she said. “How old are you?”

“Thirteen, ma’am.”

She smiled. “You’ve got plenty of time,” she said. She finished her piece, another flute, and looked at him speculatively. “Would you like it?”

He nodded. “How much?”

“Normally, quite a bit,” she said. “For you, twenty dollars?”

He handed her the money and she wrapped the flute up for him.

*

Bombur wandered around the fair, not really looking at much. If anything, he felt very lonely and out-of-place.

He couldn’t remember Ireland, having been three years old when they left. Saint Paul was home for him, always had been, and he just didn’t connect with the culture being displayed around him. Oh, sure, the music was familiar and the art was gorgeous and the food was good, but it just wasn’t him.

Not that he could tell his family that. His parents and aunt all spoke fondly of their homeland and their regret that they’d had to leave, and Bifur loved everything about Ireland and swore he would return as soon as he was rich. Even Bofur had some memories of it, felt that connection.

But Bombur? Bombur couldn’t remember anything besides their house in Minnesota, growing up with Fili and Kili and Nori. He liked the music that Bifur and Bofur played on the piano and the records his mother would occasionally dig up, but he would sooner listen to the American pop music of the day. He loved his aunt’s soda bread, but was just as happy with what Dis cooked for neighborhood picnics. He didn’t carve like Bifur did, didn’t draw or design the knot work on prominent display. Even his accent was only half as thick as the rest of theirs, on the rare occasion he spoke.

What was there here for Bombur?

There were some boys about his age who had taken over a nearby field and were kicking a soccer ball around. Bombur wandered toward them—he didn’t know if they would accept him, but at least over here he wouldn’t be surrounded by people babbling about ancient history and wars he didn’t fight.

One of the boys spotted him. “Wanna play?” he called. “We’re short a player!”

Bombur shrugged and went over. “Sure,” he said. “Don’t think I’m much good.”

“That’s okay,” the boy said. “I’m sure you can block well.”

Bombur joined in the laughter. He had long since accepted his size and learned to laugh at it. He went over and joined the smaller of the two teams.

Soon enough, they were caught in a very competitive game, even though it was clear that none of the players were particularly skilled. The other boys were surprised to discover that in spite of his bulk, Bombur was actually faster than all of them.

He stayed there for the rest of the afternoon, and by the time dusk was starting to fall, he had forgotten ever feeling lonely.

“You’re really good,” the boy who had invited him over said as they abandoned the field and went to find their parents. Their team had won a narrow victory. “You play for a team?”

“No,” Bombur said. “Just with my brother and cousin and neighbors sometimes.” He glanced around. “You Irish at all?” he asked.

“Supposedly,” the boy said. “But it’s just something my parents say. My family’s been born in Minneapolis for generations.” He shrugged. “It’s just something people like. I don’t have to think of myself as Irish to like it.”

Bombur nodded thoughtfully. “I like the food,” he joked.

The boy grinned. “I like the music,” he confided. “But don’t tell anyone.” He looked up. “There’s my mom, I’d better go…you gonna come next year?”

“Maybe,” Bombur said. “I’ll see.” He waved goodbye and went to find his family.

He found his family at the dance floor. Brian had Betsy and they were going very fast, both laughing, and Bifur was once again dancing with his mother, both a little more skillful now. Bofur was standing by, clapping and singing along. Bombur went over to stand with his brother and smiled.

“Good day?” Bofur asked, having to shout over the volume of the music.

“Yeah,” Bombur said. “Not dancing?”

“No partner,” Bofur said. “You wanna try it?”

Bombur shrugged. “Sure, why not?” They headed out and did their best to follow the steps, though even as he participated, Bombur knew that he didn’t feel the same way as the rest of them. And that was okay.


	24. Christmas Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas has come again, but it doesn't feel that way.

Thorin had hoped that after a few years, he would get used to Dis’s holiday planning.

Of course, it changed every year, so he could never quite settle.

“You want me to do what now?” he asked.

“I don’t want you to do anything,” Dis snapped. “I said you’re going to the middle school orchestra concert next Wednesday.”

“And why am I going to listen to thirty preteens hack away at ‘Jolly Old Saint Nicholas’ for an hour?”

“Because your nephews are playing and Vili won’t be home until New Year’s.” Dis glared at him. “And they will be very disappointed if you aren’t there. Besides, they’ve been at it for almost two years and are much better than when they started.”

“Couldn’t I just put up your lights again?”

“Dori and Bifur volunteered to do the whole street.”

“I have an NA meeting?” Thorin tried.

“NA meetings are on Thursdays,” Dis said.

“I have to, um…wash my guitar…”

“Thorin.” Dis crossed her arms and gave him the glare he taught her, the brat. “You’re going, and that’s the end of it.”

He whimpered.

*

“Seriously,” Eileen said, putting down her coffee cup. “How do you stand hearing the same four pieces over and over again?” She glanced up at the ceiling, as Fili and Kili were practicing in their room upstairs.

“At least they’re playing whole songs,” Dis said. “I used to live with three professional musicians who wrote their music in the living room. And trust me, hearing two middle schoolers practice actual songs is much better than hearing the same two lines over and over again for four hours because Balin and Thorin can’t agree on whether it should be c-d-f or c-d-g.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Eileen said. “Any plans for Christmas?”

Dis shrugged. “Not really,” she said. “I mean, I’ll force Thorin to be over all day, and I’ll probably invite Balin since he’s got no other family to go to this year, but overall, it’s going to be pretty quiet.”

“I think we all need some quiet this year,” Eileen said. “Everything just seems so…loud.”

“I don’t know about that,” Dis said. “I just didn’t feel like planning anything this year.”

Eileen reached over and patted her hand. “They’ll be home soon,” she said. “I know it. They’ll come home safe.”

Dis smiled a bit. “I know,” she said. “I just wish it could be sooner…and longer.”

*

“All right, boys.” Fili leaned on the park bench. “Obviously, we have an uneven number this year.” He grinned at Gimli, who had just turned five and who Kili had insisted on bringing along to their snow war. “So we’re going to have to figure out how to make this fair.”

“Simple,” Kili said. “Bombur and I get Gimli and Ori, since the three of you are so much bigger than us.”

“But Ori’s my little brother!” Nori protested. “I can’t be expected to hit him with a snowball!”

Ori nodded solemnly. “I’m going to stay with Nori,” he declared.

Kili and Bombur glanced at each other and shrugged. “Fine,” Kili said. “But we get the position on the hill. Come on, Gimli! You’re our little brother, so we have to teach you how to be the best snow warrior ever!” He took one of Gimli’s mittened hands and led him up the hill to start building a snow fort.

Nori rolled his eyes and turned to his team. “All right,” he said. “We have the advantage of size and numbers.”

“For the moment,” Bofur said. “Kili might have the edge on Fili soon.”

“Watch it, Mattocks,” Fili said, turning to start building. “Or I might defect to the other team.”

“You wouldn’t,” Bofur said. “One look at Ori’s puppy eyes and you melt.”

“So does everyone,” Nori said, affectionately ruffling Ori’s hair. Ori swatted at him.

“I’m not a puppy!” Ori protested, pouting a bit.

“Sure,” Fili said. “Now come on…we do have to be nice to Gimli, he’s little, so our strategy is to take out the leader, who is, of course, Kili, and then force the other two to surrender under duress.”

“Duress meaning knock Bombur over and then bribe Gimli to join our side with sweets?” Bofur guessed.

“Precisely,” Fili said. “Now get to work fortifying the base.”

Over the hill, Kili was watching the other team while Bombur built up a fort and Gimli made snowballs. They weren’t great snowballs, but they would do the job.

“Right,” Kili said. “Bombur, you’re going to go out down the hill and draw their fire. Gimli, you stick with me and look cute. Aim all ammunition at Ori first.”

“Why Ori?” Bombur asked.

“Because they won’t expect it,” Kili said. “He’s cute, and if we start hitting him, the others will immediately jump to his defense and leave themselves vulnerable.”

“What does vuln-able mean?” Gimli asked.

“Open to attack,” Bombur said.

“Exactly,” Kili said. “We need to diminish their numbers if we want any hope of their surrender.”

Gimli pouted. “Quit usin’ big words,” he said. “Ori uses big words all the time and I don’t understand him.”

“Sorry,” Kili said. “We need to knock a few of them out if we want to win.” He glanced back at the fortifications Bombur had built up. “We got enough snowballs?”

“Think so,” Bombur said, quickly rolling a few more. “On your word, sir.”

“Attack!”

Bombur and Gimli started throwing snowballs immediately, gravity working to their advantage. Gimli’s aim wasn’t great, nor were his throws very powerful, but Kili only grinned. “Brilliant! Fire at will!” He bent to pick up a handful of snow and took careful aim as the boys down the hill started shouting and returning fire.

The shouting took a much more indignant turn as Kili’s snowball hit Ori perfectly in the face. Ori shrieked and Nori was over the wall, going straight for Kili. Kili ducked behind the wall. “Okay, Gims,” he said. “We’re going to stay back here and hit anyone who comes at us. Bombur, go out and draw fire!”

Bombur obeyed, scrambling over the wall. Nori was already halfway up the hill, so Kili quickly threw another snowball at him, catching Nori in the stomach. Nori stumbled and fell, which brought Bofur out to help him, though Bombur very quickly knocked his brother over himself.

Kili peeked over the wall and grinned at Fili, who glowered for a moment before he turned and whispered to Ori. Ori nodded and ducked behind their wall. Kili felt a bit suspicious, but didn’t budge, only kept an eye on what was happening below as Nori and Bofur got back on their feet. Bofur took a flying leap at Bombur, but didn’t quite manage to take him down. Gimli spotted the trouble and threw a snowball at Bofur, but missed.

They were so occupied watching the wrestling below and throwing the odd snowball in an attempt to help that Kili didn’t notice Fili and Ori sneaking around behind them until it was too late. Fili jumped at his brother, taking him to the ground, and Ori took Gimli down easily.

It took only ten more minutes for Fili’s team to overcome Kili’s and victory to be declared.

“That was so not fair,” Kili mumbled as they walked home.

“I had fun!” Gimli declared. “And we’ll get ‘em next year!”

Kili grinned and ruffled Gimli’s red hair. “Yes, we will,” he promised.

*

_Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,_

_Lean your ear this way._

_Don’t you tell a single soul_

_What I’m going to say…_

Thorin sat completely still and tried not to make it clear how much he was not enjoying this. Sure, the middle school orchestra was slightly better than last year, but it still sounded more like nails on a chalkboard than real music.

But he didn’t dare say anything negative in case Dis decided to smack him with her purse. He glanced at her a few times, and she seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself.

Still, it was a relief when the concert ended an hour after it began and Thorin and Dis went to get the boys.

“Did you see me, Uncle Thorin?” Kili asked, all in a rush.

“Yes, I did,” Thorin said. “You were very good. Front row and everything!”

Kili beamed. Fili shifted, but didn’t say anything.

“And you, Fili,” Dis added. “And you weren’t rocking back and forth like your stand partner!”

“Ciara just likes to rock,” Fili said with a shrug. “She says it helps her focus.”

“Come on,” Thorin said. “I think a performance like that deserves some ice cream!”

The boys cheered. Dis glared and Thorin only grinned. “Traditional after a concert,” he reminded her and she softened a bit.

“Aye, it is,” she agreed softly.

*

Christmas morning dawned cold and snowy. Presents were opened with a subdued air and Thorin couldn’t help but notice just how depressed everyone seemed.

“They’re coming home very soon, Dis,” he said as they washed the dishes after dinner. Balin had taken the boys into the living room so it was fairly quiet. “I know you want them all the time, but…”

“I know,” Dis said. “I mean…I understand why, it’s just…is it too much to ask to have my husband home on Christmas?”

“I don’t think even jolly old Saint Nicholas can make that happen,” Thorin said.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Dis frowned, but abandoned the sink to answer it.

And there he was, full uniform and smiling, Dwalin at his side. Dis shrieked and launched herself into Vili’s arms.

“Vili!” she cried, kissing him. “You said you wouldn’t be home until New Year’s!”

He kissed her back. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t want to spoil the surprise.”

“Dad!” Fili and Kili came rushing at the door to hug their father. Vili laughed and hugged them both. “You’re back!” Kili squealed, hugging Dwalin as well.

There was a whirl of greetings and embraces, everyone laughing at the door. It took a good ten minutes for Vili and Dwalin to even get in the door.

“We’ve still got plenty of food,” Dis said as they moved inside. “Might even be hot, or I can warm it up for you…and there’s a decent white wine in there if you like…”

“Sounds wonderful, darling,” Vili said. “And the boys can tell me all about what they’ve been up to.”

“I want to talk to you,” Dwalin murmured in an undertone to his brother.

“Something wrong?” Balin muttered back.

“Ori sounded concern in his last letter,” Dwalin answered. “But you’re closer to the situation than I am so I want to be sure it’s something that I should deal with before I go over there.”

“I don’t know much more than you do,” Balin said. “But if he asked for your help, I’d say it’s worth going over there for. After all,” he said with a smirk. “You are his guardian angel.”

Dwalin rolled his eyes.

*

Hours later, when the boys were in bed, Vili sat with his wife, not speaking, just holding her close.

She chattered on about the neighborhood, the boys, their activities, anything, really. She knew he needed this.

Finally, very late in the night, he spoke. “I don’t want to go back.”

“I know,” she said.

“But I gotta.”

“I know.”

He hugged her tighter. “I love you, Dis. More than anything…except the boys.”

“I love you, too, Vili.” She stood up and went to her stereo to put in a CD.

He raised his eyebrows. “This isn’t Christmas music,” he said.

“No,” she said. “But it’s ours.” She held out her hands. “Come on. Dance with me.”

Vili got up and took her hand. They fell into a swaying slow dance, her head on his shoulder, his hand on her waist.

“Merry Christmas, darling.”


	25. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day was warm and sunny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: character death.

_April, 2004_

The day was warm, and sunny, clear blue sky and flowers just starting to bloom.

Dis was sitting in her office, drinking her third cup of coffee and listening to NPR while playing Minesweeper on her computer. It was a hard habit to kick.

The sun streamed in through the window and she thought about taking a walk later. Maybe she should get the boys a dog. Kili had been begging for one for months and Fili had looked vaguely disappointed last month when his birthday had rolled around and there was no puppy for him.

Her coffee cup was nearly empty. She got up to get the next cup. Maybe she should go bother Eileen instead. After all, it wasn’t like there was much happening that day. At least, not yet. She was sure there was some mischief they could get up to.

There was a knock on the door. Dis frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She put down her coffee pot and went to open the door.

She knew the moment she saw the men in uniform on her doorstep that her life had just gone horribly, horribly wrong.

“Mrs. Durin?”

“Yes?” Eileen was already dashing over. Dis did her best to keep her eyes on the officers.

“We’re delivering this.” The officer passed her a telegram. She took it with shaking hands and opened it, though she already knew what it said. “Our condolences.”

The ground tilted and the paper fell from her hands. Her vision blurred and she clutched at the doorframe…

And then there were arms around her, then voices, distant and indistinct before she was guided back inside. She followed, unthinking, and the next thing she knew, she was seated on the couch, sobbing into Eileen’s chest.

Eileen petted her hair, making comforting noises and Dis could only hug her and cry, cry harder than she had in her life. Vili…it couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t…

They stayed there for a very long time, even though Dis knew Eileen must be getting stiff from staying still so long, she couldn’t stop crying long enough to let go. And Eileen made no move to leave, said nothing, just sat there.

But finally, Eileen let go of her and gently pushed her back. “I’m going to call Thorin,” she said. “And have him get the boys. They should know…and I don’t think they’ll want to go back to class after…”

Dis nodded, not really understanding what Eileen was saying. Eileen patted her hand then got up and picked up the phone.

*

Thorin leaned on the wall, sipping at his coffee. No customers for him, so he had a few minutes to himself, at least.

The phone behind the desk rang. He went and picked it up. “Blue’s Auto Repair.”

“Thorin?” The voice on the other end was shaky. “It’s Eileen.”

“Something wrong?”

“We…we just got the news…Vili’s been killed in the war.”

The phone slipped from his hand. Thorin breathed several times before he picked it up. “Sorry,” he said. “Is there word of Dwalin?”

“Not yet,” Eileen said. “But Dis is in a bad state…can you go get the boys and bring them home?”

“Yeah,” Thorin said. “Just let me…”

“No rush.”

He hung up the phone and went to the back in a daze. Marnie was working on an engine, but she looked up when he came in.

“I have to leave,” he said.

“Emergency?” she asked.

“Vili’s dead.”

She stared for a moment. “I’ll tell Mr. Blue,” she finally said.

Thorin nodded and stumbled toward the door, to his car.

He was already on the road before the tears started.

*

“Kili Durin?”

Kili looked up in confusion. “Yes?”

“You’re being called to the office. Get your things.”

Kili put his violin back in his case, feeling confused and a bit humiliated as the kids around him starting giggling. “Oh, you’re in trouble,” one girl teased.

Kili ignored her and went to the door and down the hall to the office.

Fili met him halfway, looking just as puzzled. They entered the office together.

Thorin was standing by the receptionist’s desk. He looked very pale and unhappy. “We’re going home,” Thorin announced, a bit gruffly. “You ready to go?”

Fili was studying their uncle closely. “Uncle…”

“We’ll talk about it in the car,” Thorin said shortly. “Come on, I’ve signed you out.”

Fili and Kili followed Thorin to the parking lot. Kili had no idea what was going on, but he could see that Fili was starting to work it out.

As soon as they were all in the car, Fili turned to Thorin. “It’s Dad, isn’t it?” he asked.

Thorin took a deep, shuddering breath. “Yes,” he said. “Your mother got the news this morning that your father has been killed in Afghanistan.”

Kili blinked. “What? No, that’s impossible! Daddy can’t…”

Fili pulled Kili into a hug. “Is Mama okay?” he asked.

“I haven’t seen her yet,” Thorin said. “Eileen just asked me to pick you up.” He started the car. “We’re going home now, and…and you can take care of her.”

The ride home was silent, other than Kili’s sobs. They reached the house in a few minutes and Thorin led them inside.

Eileen met them in the entryway. “She’s upstairs, poor thing,” she said in an undertone. “In her room…I know she wants you all there.”

Kili didn’t listen for more. He turned and ran up the stairs to his mother’s room, Fili on his heels. Dis was lying on the bed, tears running down her face, but she did open her eyes and sit up when the boys came in. She looked at them for a moment before she opened her arms.

Fili and Kili hopped up on the bed and into her embrace, both crying, and she was crying as well and none of them could speak. They barely heard Thorin come in, but then he was beside them, wrapping them all up in his arms.

They stayed there all day, just crying together until, eventually, Eileen came upstairs.

“I have supper ready,” she said. “Not much, but…you should come eat.”

Thorin was the first to rise. “Thank you,” he said. “Fili, Kili, come.”

The boys got up and followed Thorin downstairs. Dis didn’t move. Eileen went over to her.

“Come on, sweet,” she said gently. “You need to eat something…you’ve already worn yourself out crying.”

Dis blinked and rose slowly, as though in a dream. “Eileen…”

“I know.” Eileen hugged her again. “But you need to keep going…you’ve got those boys to look after.”

“What about yours?” Dis asked. “You’ve been here all day…”

“Dori picked them up and brought them over,” Eileen said. “Lori’s on his way, just got caught in traffic.”

Dis nodded. “Thank you.” She turned and walked down stairs, looking so much older than she ever had. Eileen followed her.

Dori, Nori and Ori were already downstairs with Thorin, Fili and Kili. They were all eating quietly and none of them spoke when Eileen and Dis sat down with their own bowls. They all ate in silence, though no one ate much.

Just as they were finishing, though, the door opened and Balin came in, his head down. Thorin looked up immediately. “Dwalin?” he asked fearfully.

“Alive,” Balin said, and there was a sigh of relief around the table. “But badly injured. They’ve taken him to Walter Reed in Maryland.” He hesitated. “I don’t want to miss the funeral, but…”

“Go to him,” Dis said. “He needs you more than…more than I do.”

Balin nodded. Dori looked up. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Balin looked startled. “If…if you want…I don’t want to face it alone.”

“Of course,” Dori said. He glanced to Ori, who was crying, though quietly. “Gotta make sure he’s okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ori whispered.

Balin nodded again. “I’m leaving in the morning. Can you be ready by eight?”

“Yes,” Dori said.

“Now sit,” Eileen ordered. “Have some supper.”

Balin smiled slightly and obeyed.


	26. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin is not quite home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Graphic violence, character death

 Balin strode up to Dwalin’s hospital room door at Walter Reed in Maryland, and froze as his hand wrapped around the doorknob. Dori was immediately at his side, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 “Don’t rush into it,” Dori said softly.

 Balin shook his head. “Now that I’m here, I’m… I’m not sure if I can face this.”

 “He’s not… well, he’s alive,” Dori reminded. “He needs you.”

 “I know.” Balin sighed with a small smile as he glanced to Dori. “I’m glad I’m not facing this alone.” At the pat on his shoulder, he opened the door and went inside.

 Dwalin was asleep in the bed. He looked too pale, and his right shoulder and bicep was heavily bandaged and in a sling over his stomach.

 Balin slowly approached his brother’s bedside, the steady hum of the monitoring machines doing little to comfort him of Dwalin’s condition. It was a shock to see Dwalin so physically vulnerable, and when he awakened, it would be a punch to the heart to see him emotionally so. Balin pulled up a chair and sank down into it, taking Dwalin’s left hand between his.

 Dori picked up the clipboard at the foot of the bed to look over the medical notes. They’d already been told what Dwalin’s condition was, but it was another thing to see it in writing. Torn shoulder ligaments that had required surgery, nerve damage completely down the arm that would need physical therapy, along with the more minor injuries associated with what had happened. He’d only woken up a couple times since being taken to the military hospital in Afghanistan, but he was stable. Dori made a quick call to Thorin telling of Dwalin’s condition.

 Balin bit his lip in an attempt to hold back a sob. He leaned forward and lightly brushed his fingers over Dwalin’s short-cropped hair. “I’ve missed you so much, been so worried about what could happen to you out there, and… and this is how you come back? Nearly got yourself blown up, and Vili…” He swallowed heavily. “I love you, and… and we’ll get through this. I…” He let his voice trail away, and sank back down into the chair.

 Dori picked up another chair in a corner and set it down next to Balin. He sat and placed his hand over Balin’s holding Dwalin’s. Balin looked up to him with a little acknowledging smile. His face fell again as he turned back to his brother.

 ********

 Dori had gone for a second coffee run to the hospital lobby before there was any movement from Dwalin. It started with a subtle shifting of his body under the blanket, then his fingers intertwined with Balin’s twitched.

 “Hey,” Balin said softly to Dwalin as he rose from his chair to hover over him. “I’m here, so please wake up?”

 Dori moved his hand from Balin’s down to rest on the older man’s back. “Come on, Dwalin, don’t leave him and the rest of us hanging for too long.”

 Balin started humming as he ran his free hand over Dwalin’s hair. It took a few minutes for the injured man to open his eyes. They were clouded over, but seeing that didn’t make Balin’s relief deflate at all. “Wonderful bastard,” Balin chuckled in greeting, blinking back his tears.

 “Hey…” Dwalin breathed. His eyes stayed on Balin for a long moment before glancing around the room. “Home?”

 Balin shook his head. “Not quite. Walter Reed.”

 Dwalin shifted a bit, disappointed at where he was. Then he realized there was another person in the room, who had stepped back from the brothers. He gave Dori a watery smile.

 “They’re probably going to keep you here a couple weeks,” Balin added.

 Dwalin made an acknowledging grunt. “Water?” he asked.

 Balin grabbed the bottle from the bedside table and held it up to his brother’s mouth. Dwalin tried to take it with his hand, but was too weak to actually take hold of it. He sighed and accepted Balin’s help without complaint.

 Once Balin took the water away, Dwalin stared straight ahead for a couple minutes, face blank. “Vili’s dead,” he stated, his voice flat.

 Balin and Dori glanced to each other. Dori asked, “They told you?”

 Dwalin shook his head, keeping his eyes on the far wall. “Don’t need to.” He took a shuddering breath and turned his head to the other two. “I pulled him out of the truck. He was already dead.”

 Dori slumped down in his chair, hiding his face in his hands. Balin bit his lip and softly asked, “Could you… could you tell us what happened? All they really told us was road IED.”

 Dwalin stared down at his hand in the sling, and tried to move the fingers, though they only twitched in response. He hissed at the pain it caused up his arm. He swallowed heavily, and closed his eyes. “We were… heading back to the base, after patrol. Nothing special…”

  _Vili secured the thick canvas flap closed, after checking the transport truck behind them was still following, and sat on the bench between Dwalin and another soldier. “Anyone know what’s on the menu tonight?” he asked the other nine soldiers._

_“Whatever it is, I’m going to eat a lot of it. I’m starved,” one replied with a chuckle._

_“As long as you save some for us,” Dwalin teased._

_After the joking and teasing had died down, Vili leaned over to say to Dwalin, “I’ve got a letter to finish after dinner. You?”_

_“Probably should write one, yeah.”_

_“Ask Ori to not send any more artwork. It’s completely taken over your bunk area,” Vili replied with a grin._

_“Oh, I would never,” Dwalin responded in mock-horror at the idea. “He’s becoming quite talented, isn’t he?”_

_“Makes me wonder how much of it Lori and Eileen have on their walls.”_

_“Maybe they- Shit!”_

_An explosion rocked the truck, instantly taking off half of the driver compartment and nearly flipping them over. They had no chance to recover as bullets started ripping through the thick canvas above and around them. They all ducked down and made a grab for their weapons._

_Something else got under the truck, detonating on impact. They did flip over this time, and everyone tried to hold onto the steel frame to ride it out. They rolled twice, and Dwalin grunted as his shoulder wrenched from the force of it._

_Once again, they had no time to recover from landing upside-down before another hail of bullets came through. One soldier picked up a utility knife and sliced through the side of the canvas on the side away from the gunfire. Vili rose slightly to take stock of the situation, and dropped back down._

_Dwalin grabbed Vili’s backpack to pick him up. “Come on, let’s go. Sitting ducks in here.” He froze at the way the face-down Vili didn’t respond. “Come on,” he prompted again. He glanced out through the hole in the canvas at the sound of their comrades returning fire. “Get up!”_

_Dwalin didn’t have time to check his friend over in here, so he dragged him out, ignoring the protesting of his wrenched shoulder, and informing the others, “He’s injured!” The soldiers from the other trucks were engaging the enemy, as well, giving Dwalin the time to hunker down in the cover and turn Vili over onto his back._

_Ice gripped Dwalin’s heart, as the first thing he saw was Vili’s wide-open and unblinking eyes. “Vi- no, Vili… Vili-“ he lightly slapped the other man’s cheeks. “Don’t you dare!” Then he noticed the crimson hole through Vili’s throat, streaming blood. “No, no, no, Vili-“ He pressed two fingers to the side of the wound, desperately needing to feel a pulse, but finding none. “Vili!”_

_“Fundin, we have to-“ started one man._

_“RPG! RPG!” shouted another._

_That was all the warning they got as the truck got hit again, inflamed pieces flying off and the main body flipping again, onto them. Dwalin cradled Vili close, and let out an agonized cry as the heavy bottom of the truck landed on them. The pain blacked out his vision, then his consciousness._

 “I knew… when I saw his eyes, I knew. But I-I…”

 Balin squeezed his brother’s hand, and tried to keep his tears in check. He had to be strong for Dwalin. He had to be the steady rock. Dori hadn’t moved at all, keeping his eyes closed through the account.

 “Balin, you’re… you’re not going to like me saying this, but… I-I wish, I wish so much that it had been me. Me, not him.”

 “I know…” Balin lifted his brother’s hand to his mouth. “I know…”

 Dwalin stayed awake a little longer before drifting back into deep sleep. A nurse came by about an hour later telling them that visiting hours were over. As loathe as he was to do it, Balin had to leave.

 Balin leaned over to kiss his brother’s forehead, and promised he would be back in the morning. Dori placed a hand on Balin’s back as they left the room.

 They walked to the nearest hotel, checked in, and went to their room. Balin’s hand tightly held onto Dori’s the entire way, not letting go once. He finally did when they entered the room and dropped their bags to the floor.

 “Want anything? Tea? Coffee?” Dori offered, going to the coffee maker.

 Balin shook his head and kicked off his shoes before falling back onto one of the beds. Dori came over a couple minutes later, a travel cup in his hands filled with tea.

 “Chamomile?” Balin guessed at the aroma.

 “You know me too well,” Dori replied. He sat back against the headboard.

 Balin swung his legs up on the bed and moved up to sit next to Dori. After a few sips of the tea, Dori silently offered it to Balin, who took it and drank. When he gave it back, he bit his lip to suppress a sob.

 Dori put the cup down on the bedside table and put an arm around Balin’s shoulders, drawing him in close. Balin turned into it, burying his face into the other man’s shoulder.

 “It’s alright to let it out,” Dori softly encouraged, his own voice breaking as his tears started to fall. “Let it out, for both of them.” As Balin allowed himself to finally cry, Dori brought the older man’s legs over his and wrapped both arms around him. He lowered his forehead down to rest on Balin’s head. The room filled with the sounds of their crying.   


	27. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery is hard enough without more adversity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: alcoholism, mild domestic abuse

“Thorin, would you like to start?”

Thorin took a deep breath. His hands were shaking more than they had in years. He thought he was over this. He thought that the habit was gone. He thought that he was stronger than this.

“It’s…it’s been a bad week,” he said. “I…my brother-in-law was killed in Afghanistan and…and it’s not been good at home…my sister isn’t doing well and my roommates are both gone…and…and the cravings have come back.” He blinked back tears. He still wasn’t used to being vulnerable. “I thought…I have to be strong for them, I have to keep going, but…but it’s hard and I want…I need something to pick me up.”

The group leader hummed sympathetically. “Were you close to your brother-in-law?” she asked.

Thorin shrugged. “We got on,” he said. “But I am close to my sister and nephews…and he…he was her lifeline…because…because I couldn’t be.” He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I don’t think I really have time to get into it…”

“You can have my time,” the woman next to him said. “I’m doing okay and you need it more.”

Thorin nodded. “Well…um…as you all know, when…when my music career ended…that’s when I started hitting it hard…”

****

_New York, 1987_

Dis Oakenshield was worried. She was always worried these days, but now moreso than ever.

She looked over the bills for the month and sighed. They had money saved of course, more than they really needed, but it was going to run out soon if Thorin didn’t stop his spiral of self-destruction. Someone needed to get a job if they were going to survive.

And she needed to get a job if she was ever going to get out of that house.

Walking into her high school’s office and asking for a withdrawal form was about the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She had wanted to finish. She meant to finish, she was going to go to college and be a doctor, do something with her life that couldn’t be taken away by fine print in a contract. She was going to make it, dammit.

So much for that, then.

The secretary raised her eyebrows. “You sure?” she asked. “You’re only a semester from graduation and your grades are fantastic…it would be a waste for you to drop out now.”

Dis swallowed. “Family issues,” she said, and the secretary nodded sympathetically.

“He still has to sign the form,” she said. “You know that.”

“He’ll sign it,” Dis said.

The secretary nodded and Dis left the office to go home.

*

“Thorin?”

He grunted, the beer bottle still clutched in his hand.

“Need you to sign this.”

He glanced at the paper, but she knew he wasn’t reading it. “Whazzit?” he asked, his words slurred and barely recognizable.

“School form.”

He took the pen she offered and scrawled his name on the line. He didn’t even look at her.

“Thank you.” She turned and crept out of the room to find and envelope and stamp to mail the form back. As soon as she had it, she left the house and headed for the corner, where the public mailbox was, and dropped it in.

She kept walking to the nearest shop and bought the latest jobs catalogue before going home, already scanning the column.

*

Balin was the first one to notice the change. Then again, he was not on nearly as many drugs and Thorin and Dwalin were.

“Since when do you wear a suit jacket to school?” he asked Dis quietly one morning.

She blushed, but met his eye. “I dropped out of school,” she said. “And I’m looking for a job.”

Balin stared. “But…you’re underage. Thorin would have to…”

“He signed the form,” she said. “No one can prove he didn’t know what it was.” She kept her eyes on him. “Someone has to work in this house, and since none of you seem to be interested, it’s up to me.”

“I’m looking, too,” Balin protested. “And you’re a kid! It’s not your responsibility to take care of us!”

“Well, no one else is going to do it,” she snapped. “And no one is looking after me.” She grabbed her purse and turned to go.

“And what sorts of jobs are you applying for?” Balin asked. “No diploma, no college, no experience whatsoever?”

“Waitressing,” Dis said. “Grocery stores. And I’m going to an interview at a call center right now.”

“Don’t you have to be eighteen…?”

“They can’t prove anything.” She turned and left.

*

“Well, Miss Oakenshield, I think you’re perfectly qualified.” The interviewer smiled at her, red lipstick and sharp glasses more intimidating than Dis would have liked. “You know how to talk to people, and I’m sure you’ll fit in with the other girls just fine. You’ll start at minimum wage, but it increases every month, capping off at seven dollars an hour.”

“Sounds good,” Dis said. “When can I start?”

The interview’s smile grew. “Eager…I like that,” she said. “Can you start training Monday at eight AM?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dis said.

“Excellent.” The interviewer stood up and shook Dis’s hand. “Welcome aboard.”

****

“I didn’t even know she was working until months later.” Thorin took a sip of the water someone had passed him. “She still left the house at the same time…still stayed out all day…I barely noticed whether or not she was home.”

The group leader nodded. “Was it the drugs that were making you ignore her?”

“Partially,” Thorin said. “But around that time, I got up and said fuck it, fuck the record industry, I was going to make my music with or without them. So we started recording again…we made a new album, Azanulbizar, under the name of Moria.”

****

_1988_

Thorin was happy. Dis could tell. There was a light in his eyes that had been missing for nearly a year.

“You look pleased,” she said when she came home from work one day.

“New record drops today,” he said. “This is it, Dis. We’re getting back in the game.” He grinned and hugged her tight. “You just wait. In a few weeks, we’ll be back on top and no one will even remember we were gone. We’re starting our own label…you can be a singer, you still want to do that, right?”

She looked down. “I mean…I suppose,” she mumbled. “But I thought you wouldn’t let me until I finished college?”

“Ah, fuck it!” Thorin exclaimed. “You’ve got talent, kid, and it’s not like that creep will be managing you. You’re gonna be great!”

“Well…maybe,” she said. “I suppose we’ll have to see how this one does.”

“It’s gonna do great,” Thorin insisted, his grin more manic than cheerful.

Dis took a step back. “Thorin, what are you on right now?”

“What’s it matter?” he asked. “It’s all good. It’s all fantastic!”

Dis nodded slowly. “All right, then,” she said. “I’m going upstairs now…work to do.” She turned and fled to her room.

*

“Maytag Helpline, this is Dis, how may I help you?”

It was hard to keep her voice steady. She knew this was going to be a bad day when she got home. The sales figures for the album had just come back and they were not good. Dis had been lucky to leave the house before Thorin woke up, and she hoped she would be able to slip back in without him noticing.

“Um…hi?” The voice on the other end sounded very scared and uncertain. “Uh…my washing machine broke down and it’s flooding my entire apartment and the landlord just told me to call the helpline?”

“Do you know the make and model of your machine?” Dis asked.

“Uh…not really?” The man calling sounded a bit alarmed. “I mean…I just moved in and…uh…I mean, it’s probably my own fault, it’s my first time using a washer…sorry…”

Dis sighed, a bit annoyed. “It should be on the label in the top of your machine.”

There was the sound of splashing. Must have really broken the damn thing. “Uh…it’s a Maytag wringer-washer? I think?”

“That model has been discontinued,” Dis said. “I can try to get someone out to you, but I can’t promise he’ll be able to fix it.”

“That’s okay,” the man said. “If he can’t, I’ll just whine to the landlord about getting a new one.”

Dis hummed. “Can I have your name and address?” she asked.

“Vili Durin,” the man said. “I’m at apartment 405 at 1776 Grand St.” He paused a minute. “You okay? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you with stupid questions…”

“No, not at all,” Dis said quickly. She glanced at her supervisor, who was giving her a stern look to hurry up. “But thank you for asking.”

*

Thorin was in a very bad mood. Dis didn’t see it, of course, but she could hear him, shouting and cursing and breaking things. She crept into the apartment as quietly as she could, hoping not to be noticed.

Balin met her in the kitchen. “I wouldn’t be here,” he muttered. “He’s really gone off this time.”

Dis glanced fearfully toward the living room. “What’s he on?” she asked.

“Not sure,” Balin answered. “Alcohol for certain, cocaine a high probability…I’m worried about an overdose this time.”

“Shouldn’t we…?”

“I’ll take care of him,” Balin promised. “And if he gets violent, I’ll call Dwalin back from downtown. Here…” He grabbed his wallet and shoved a handful of bills into Dis’s hand. “Go get some dinner, see a movie, and call when you’re done so I can tell you if it’s safe.”

Dis nodded and left.

She walked down the street for a while, tears stinging her eyes. Why couldn’t Thorin deal with things like an adult? Why did he keep doing this to her? Why couldn’t she be safe in her own home?

She didn’t know where she was going, nor did she care. She supposed she should eat, but she wasn’t hungry. Her head was pounding already and she just wanted to go home and sleep…

She was so distracted that she didn’t realize where she was until she was standing back in front of her office. She couldn’t put in more hours, her boss would kill her if she started working overtime. She sat down on the step and put her head in her hands, sobbing into them.

“Um…hello?”

She looked up at the somewhat familiar voice and scrambled to her feet. There was a young man standing in front of her. He had long golden hair and dark shining eyes. His clothes were soaked, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his jeans clearly too heavy on him. Dis brushed herself off and tried to recover her professionalism.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Um…maybe?” The young man smiled. “Uh…I called earlier about my washer? And the gal said they’d send someone out on Tuesday? But, uh…it’s flooded the entire apartment and I kinda need help now and it hit the electric panel so my phone’s out, so I thought I’d just come in?”

“Oh,” Dis said. “Um…Vili Durin, right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “You the one I talked to?”

“Yes,” she said. “I’m Dis…I’m technically off the clock right now, but I can go in and see if there’s anyone available tonight.”

“Okay,” Vili said. He smiled shyly and Dis felt her heart pounding. “Um…you okay? I just…you look like you were just crying…”

“I’m fine,” Dis said quickly. “Just…bad day.” She rubbed at her eyes. “I’ll go up and see if I can help,” she said. “Just…wait here.” She turned and hurried inside.

*

A few minutes later, she was back down. “Right, so we don’t have anyone who can come tonight,” she said, a little more composed now. “But they’ll have someone over first thing tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Vili said. “Um…thanks for checking.”

“Just my job,” Dis mumbled.

“Yeah…” Vili shifted. “So…you want some dinner? Can’t really go home tonight.”

“Neither can I,” Dis admitted. “So…sure.” She smiled shakily. “I’d like that.”

*

Maybe it was reckless, going off with a guy she didn’t know, but Dis was tired of being good. If Thorin got to destroy his life and hers, she was allowed to do something crazy, too.

“Unusual name, Dis,” Vili commented as they walked to the nearest diner.

“So’s Vili,” she teased. “But if you must know, my parents just liked unusual names…run in the family.”

“Same for mine,” Vili admitted. “Though at least mine is pronounceable.”

“Suppose it could be worse,” Dis agreed.

“So Dis who?” Vili asked. “I mean, you have my name, phone number and address…hardly fair.”

She hesitated. Would he judge her, if he knew who she was related to? Would he leave her right now, or would he try to take advantage of her for the money people thought they still had?

But after a moment, she sighed. He was right; it wasn’t fair. “Oakenshield,” she said, and braced herself for the inevitable.

But he didn’t say anything about it. He just grinned. “Dis Oakenshield,” he repeated. “That’s actually pretty cool. You could be a model or an actress or something.”

She looked down. “I almost was,” she admitted. “But…things didn’t work out.”

“Sorry,” Vili said. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” she said. “Sometimes, that just happens.” They reached a little local diner and Dis opened the door. “Come on, better hurry before it gets too crowded.”

*

Vili, as it turned out, was finishing his last semester at NYU, majoring in business administration. Dis told him it sounded oppressively boring. He laughed and said that she was right, but it was a career field that would get him a job one day.

He asked her what she wanted to do later on. She admitted she didn’t really have a plan anymore, and that she planned to stay at the call center for as long as possible.

He asked why she didn’t have a plan. She took her time answering.

“My brother has severe drug problems,” she finally admitted.

“Oh.” Vili looked surprised, but then recovered. “And you’re working to support him?”

“No,” Dis said firmly. “I’m working to save money so I can leave.”

Vili nodded. “Good,” he said. “I mean…I know he’s family, and I don’t know much about the situation, but…no one should have to put up with that.”

“No,” Dis said. “And I won’t.”

“So I suppose asking if you’d like a drink after dinner is pointless?”

“Yes,” Dis said. “Though not because of that. I’m only eighteen.”

Vili blinked. “Really?” he asked. “But…sorry, I thought you were older…”

“I’m an adult,” Dis said. “But if it’s a problem, I’ll leave once I’m done eating.”

“No!” Vili said. “It’s not a problem…I was just surprised.” He smiled. “You just act so much older.”

Dis shrugged. “Kind of have to.”

“Sorry,” he said.

They finished eating in silence and Vili signaled for the check. Dis reached for her purse and Vili shook his head at her. “On me,” he said.

“I can’t…”

“I asked you to come. And my mother told me that when I offer to take a lady somewhere, I pay for her.”

Dis sighed and put her purse down. “If you so insist,” she said. “But I really don’t need charity. I should pay you back.”

Vili smiled shyly. “You can let me take you on another date,” he said.

Dis giggled. “I think I can do that,” she said. She checked her watch. “I don’t think it’s safe to go back yet…wanna catch a movie?”

“Sure.”

****

“I really don’t know how long they were together.” Thorin’s eyes were more distant than ever. “I knew she was gone more, but I just assumed…she was a teenager. I expected her to go out, she didn’t need my permission. And…and I know it wasn’t easy for anyone to be around me. I don’t blame her…I don’t blame either of them.”

****

_1989_

Dis whirled into the house, happy and energized after a night out with Vili. They had been going strong for a year now, and she had never felt better about herself.

She froze when she saw the light in the kitchen and spotted her brother at the table, surrounded by empty bottles and downing another.

“Where’ve you been, then?” he grunted at her.

“Out,” she said.

“Out where?”

“Just out.” She turned to go to her room.

Thorin stood up, unsteady on his feet. He took another drink of beer and stalked toward her. “You’ve been out a lot lately,” he observed.

“Why do you care?” Dis snapped. “You don’t notice when I’m here, why do you care when I’m not?”

“I do notice,” Thorin snarled back. “And I want to know where you’re going.”

“Where everyone else goes,” Dis said. “I go to work, then I go out! It’s not a fucking crime!”

“Do you know what time it is?” Thorin roared. “I was fucking worried!”

Dis laughed bitterly. “Worried,” she repeated. “You’re drunk, that’s what you are. You’ve never worried about me a day in your goddamned life!”

He glared at her. “That’s not true and you know it,” he said. “I want to know where you’re going and who you’re seeing.”

“I’m an adult, Thorin,” Dis snapped. “I can do what I like.”

“Not while you live under my roof!” He stepped toward her and she stepped back, suddenly afraid. “It’s that fucker Thranduil, isn’t it? You decided to sneak off behind my back…what, gonna sign a contract with fucking Smaug next? We gonna hear Dis Oakenshield on the radio, saying she’s cutting her stupid brother out of her life?”

“Of course not!” She was against the wall now, trying to see an exit. “If you must know, I’ve been working the Maytag helpline and I’m seeing a different boy! One who doesn’t know you and doesn’t care!”

He raised his hand and struck her across the cheek before she could register it.

“DON’T LIE!” he roared. “DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME, DIS! YOU WANT TO GO, YOU WANT TO ABANDON ME HERE? DON’T YOU? DON’T YOU?!”

She stared at him, her eyes wide and full of tears, feeling the bruise forming on her cheek, but she didn’t answer. He raised his hand again…

And then Dwalin came dashing in. He tackled Thorin to the floor easily. “Get out, Dis!” Dwalin shouted. “Go anywhere, just get out!”

She didn’t need telling twice. She turned and ran, down the stairs to the street. She kept running, tears falling freely now. She didn’t even register where she was going until she was in front of Vili’s building.

She dashed to the door and hit the buzzer as hard as she could. It took a few minutes before Vili came downstairs and opened the door.

“Dis?” he said. “What…” He caught sight of her tears and the bruise blooming on her cheek and his eyes hardened. “What happened?” he asked, his voice dangerously calm.

She fells on him, sobbing into his chest. “He…he was drunk again,” she said. “Probably high, too…I couldn’t tell…but he…he didn’t like me going out…and he hit me.”

Vili hugged her for a moment before he pulled away and studied her seriously. “Does he know where you are?”

“No,” she said. “Our cousin…one of our roommates pulled him off me.” She took several shuddering breaths. “I can’t go back…I’m sorry to just ask this, but…can I stay with you? At least until I can find my own place?”

“Of course you can stay,” Vili said. “Don’t you ever worry about that.” He took her hand. “Come on upstairs. I’ll go get your things in the morning.”

*

Vili did not return alone the next day. Balin was with him. Both looked distinctly unhappy.

“Thorin’s back in rehab,” Balin said as soon as he was seated at the table across from Vili and Dis. “And I’m not letting him out until I’m sure he’s not going to sink again. What he did…that was over the line.”

Dis snorted. “Oh, this is over the line, but letting me leave school and support his sorry ass isn’t?”

Balin sighed. “I know,” he said. “Too little, too late. But…I didn’t think it was that bad…guess it’s hard to see someone spiraling out of control when it happens slowly in front of your face.”

“Right,” Dis said. She took another sip of coffee. “I’m not going back, Balin.”

“I know,” he said. “I don’t expect you to.” He glanced at Vili. “Mr. Durin and I had a long talk this morning, and I think you’re better off with him than you are with us. I just wanted you to know…”

“Thank you for informing me,” Dis said. “And thank you for looking after him. But it’s going to take a long time for me to forgive him…if I ever do.”

“I understand,” Balin said. He stood to leave. “But stay in touch with me, please? You’re still my cousin…I don’t want to lose you.”

Dis nodded. “I will,” she promised.

****

“I didn’t see her again until almost two years later.” Thorin was breathing a bit easier now. “She got married and left for Saint Paul and I swore I wouldn’t go after her…I regretted it. The moment I was sober enough to realize I’d hurt her…that I’d driven her away…I wanted to find her and beg her forgiveness. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it…I knew she was better off without me.”

“What made you seek her out?” the group leader asked.

Thorin swallowed. “It was Christmas,” he said. “I’d been mostly sober for over a year…I figured it was time.”

****

_1990_

Minnesota was cold, but that was all right. It was far away from her past, far away from her brother. Most of her extended family was here, and Vili was by her side, and they were expecting a baby come spring. Everything was perfect.

Well, almost. Now that time had distanced them, Dis was starting to miss her brother. He was an asshole, but…well, he was family.

There was a knock on her door on Christmas Eve. She went to answer, though she had a feeling who it was. Balin had called a few days before, saying that they were ready to move and start over and would she be opposed? She said that she had to see him first, to see for herself that he was truly reformed.

And it was Thorin on her doorstep, his head down, though he did look up hopefully when she answered the door. He was thinner than before, paler, but he was clearly sober, though his hands trembled.

“Hello, Dis,” he said, his voice quiet.

“Hello, Thorin,” she said stiffly.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry…what I did…it was inexcusable…I…I ruined your life…I hurt you. And…and I didn’t want to do that to you.”

She closed her eyes, blinking back tears. “I know,” she said. “I know you didn’t.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he said. “I don’t deserve it…but I don’t want…I don’t want us to be separated. Mum and Dad…they said never be apart.”

“I remember,” Dis said. She took a breath. “I want to forgive you, Thorin. But…I need to know…”

“I haven’t taken a drink since that night,” he said. “Haven’t done anything else in…months, at least.” He looked her over. “I swear to you…I will never touch another drop…never seek out another hit…I won’t even smoke if that’s what it takes. You’re my sister…my family. I didn’t want to drive you away…and I want to do better.”

Dis nodded. “I accept your promise,” she said. “And I’ll help you to keep it, in any way I can.” She held out her arms and embraced him, both crying. “Now come inside and meet my husband.”

Vili smiled when Dis introduced Thorin, and shook his hand and welcomed him to the neighborhood. It wasn’t until Dis was out of the room that Vili turned to Thorin and his smile slipped.

“I understand she’s forgiven you,” Vili said. “And that you’re trying to get better. And I suppose I can accept that. If she wants you in her life, I’ll stand by her.”

“Thank you,” Thorin said.

“But,” Vili added, his eyes steely. “If you _ever_ raise a hand to her again, I will find you, and I will kick you all the way back to New York, and there’s not a soul in the world who will stop me. Understood?”

Thorin nodded. “I understand.”

****

“I’ve been sober since then,” Thorin concluded. “But now that he’s gone…I wonder…I wonder if I really got better…or if I was just afraid of him. I wonder if I’ll be able to keep it up without that threat hanging over my head.”

The group leader nodded. “You’ve done well, Thorin,” she said. “It’s been nearly fourteen years and you’ve been sober throughout. You haven’t missed a meeting since you came to Saint Paul…you’ve been strong. And that was you, regardless of any threats. I know that it’s hard right now…your support system is shaking. But you’ve come this far…you can make it through adversity without drugs. We believe in you.”

*

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

The sergeant called the salute and the military men in attendance snapped to as Taps was played. Thorin stood beside his sister, who was crying freely. Fili and Kili stood in front of them. Kili was crying as hard as his mother, but Fili was silent, his jaw clenched, though Thorin knew it was only for show.

They watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground. The sergeant brought the folded flag over and handed it to Fili, all pomp and circumstance and so, so wrong. Vili shouldn’t be going into the ground. Strong, steady Vili, who knew how to solve every problem, who never lost his temper or his heart, who laughed easily and calmed his wife so well…

The dirt started to fall and Dis turned away. She couldn’t watch it, couldn’t see them throwing dirt on her Vili, her rock, her safety. What was she going to do? Who was going to help her now?

A hand landed on her shoulder. She looked back and saw Thorin, eyes full of grief but jaw determined.

“Dis,” he said quietly. “I know I haven’t been the best brother to you…I know I’ve been downright terrible at times. But…but I will be here. I will take care of all of you. I know…I know my promises aren’t always good, but…but this is one I can keep.”

She nodded. “I know,” she said. “Thank you.”


	28. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's so strange to go home.

The phone rang. Dis didn’t get up. She did not want to talk to anyone.

Thorin waited a second before he answered it. “Hello?”

“Thorin, it’s Balin.”

“Hey.” Thorin glanced at his sister, who continued to stare straight ahead at her TV without watching it. “What’s going on?”

“We’re coming home on Monday…can you get us from the airport?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” He hesitated. “How’s Dwalin?”

“Functioning, at least. Mostly. He’s upset, but…well, he’ll be okay.”

“Right. Thanks.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Thorin turned back to Dis. “Balin and Dwalin are coming home Monday,” he said.

“Fine,” she said shortly.

“Dis, are you…?”

She didn’t turn and Thorin gave up. He headed into the kitchen, where Fili and Kili were staring at the make-up homework they had received that week. Kili occasionally wrote something down, but Fili was just glaring at the pages like they had personally assaulted him.

“How’s it going?” Thorin asked, feeling completely at a loss. He was used to Fili and Kili bouncing all over the place and getting into trouble, not being quiet and moody.

“Who the fuck even needs algebra?” Fili spat, shoving the paper away.

Thorin frowned. “Fili…”

Fili stood up, knocking his chair over, and stomped out of the room. Kili watched him go, his eyes looking watery.

Thorin sighed heavily. “Kili, how’s the spelling coming?”

“It’s okay,” Kili said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I have trouble with some of the words still…they keep getting longer.”

“Hmm.” Thorin sat down next to him. “Anything I can do to help?”

Kili shrugged. “I don’t…” The tears started. “It’s hard,” he sniffled.

Thorin reached over and pulled Kili into a hug. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay, Kili.”

Kili hugged back, crying harder. He’d done almost nothing but cry for the last two weeks. “Why’d this have to happen?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Thorin said. “I honestly don’t know, Kili. Sometimes…sometimes, bad things just happen and we have to get through them the best we can.” He pulled back. “But…well, Cousin Dwalin and Balin are coming home soon…”

“I want Daddy to come home,” Kili whined.

Thorin closed his eyes. “I know.”

*

Thorin ended up going to the airport alone. He couldn’t rally Dis and the boys to go with him. Marnie would have gone, but someone had to be at the shop.

Balin and Dwalin both looked much older than when Thorin had last seen them. He swallowed back the tears that threatened to escape when he saw Dwalin, pale and unsteady on his feet with his arm in a sling, and instead went to embrace them.

“Hey,” Thorin said. “How’s it going?” He felt stupid the moment the words escaped his lips.

Dwalin shrugged and immediately winced. “Guess it’s going to get better,” he said. “At least, that’s what the doctors tell me.”

Balin forced a smile. “Come on, lad,” he said. “Let’s get you home.”

The drive home was silent and more tense than Thorin could ever remember the three of them being before. Even at their lowest point, Balin and Dwalin had never been this quiet. It was so strange, they were so close and before, even when they didn’t speak, they were all right. But this was…off. Bad. Thorin didn’t know what he was supposed to say, or do, or anything, so he just drove, hoping that Balin and Dwalin would supply words.

After a few minutes, Dwalin finally spoke. “How’s Dis?” he asked.

Thorin took a shuddering breath. “She’s…not good.” Maybe it would have been polite to say she was fine, but Thorin had never been terribly polite. “It’s hit her hard…I don’t think she’s left the house since the funeral…has me taking the boys to and from school, not that they want to go, and Eileen and Betsy have been doing her cooking for her…mostly just watches TV and cries these days.”

Dwalin swallowed heavily. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry,” Thorin said. “This isn’t your fault…there’s nothing you could have done but die with him.”

“I should have,” Dwalin muttered.

Thorin had no idea what to say to that.

*

Home was strange, after everything. Dwalin looked around the house where he lived with his brother and Thorin, at the once nice but worn-out furniture, at Balin’s teapot and Thorin’s guitar and his armchair, and it felt…wrong. Empty, somehow, like a ghost of what it should be.

Thorin had to go back to work, though he promised to be home for supper. Balin puttered about making tea, and brought Dwalin a mug and a plate of cookies in good time.

“I’ve been looking into therapists,” Balin said. “And I’ve talked to Oin. He’s made a few recommendations.”

Dwalin grunted. “Think they’ll ever let me get back to work?” he asked.

“Not for a while,” Balin said. “You’ll need full use of that arm again. Maybe Mr. Blue will let you be a receptionist for a while?”

“Can’t hurt to ask,” Dwalin said with a sigh. “But it’s not…”

“I know.” Balin took a sip of tea. “Still…something. You shouldn’t just sit around here doing nothing.”

Dwalin sighed. “I know.”

There was a knock on the door. Balin got up to answer and found Eileen standing on the other side, casserole dish in hand.

“Heard you were back,” Eileen said without preamble, swooping into the kitchen. “Brought you some dinner.” She glanced into the living room. “Hello, Dwalin.” She sounded…normal. Cheerful, even, as though Dwalin had just been to the supermarket.

“Hello, Mrs. Scriver,” he called back. “How’s Ori?”

“He’s doing well,” she said, coming in and plopping down on the couch. “He’ll be happy to see you...he’s been very worried.”

Dwalin managed a small smile. “Well, I’ll be glad to see him,” he said. “Any time, any day.”

Eileen grinned. “Good. Wouldn’t want him to miss his guardian angel.”

Dwalin rolled his eyes and laughed a little and Balin brought Eileen a cup of tea.

*

The door opened again at five thirty and Marnie came whirling into the house. She marched right up to Dwalin and just stood in front of him, arms crossed, glaring at him.

Dwalin raised his eyebrows. “Good to see you,” he said.

“Dwalin Fundin, I swear to God, the moment that sling comes off I am going to slap you from here to Minneapolis!” Her glare intensified as Dwalin hid a smile. “Honestly, I don’t know when I’ve been so worried and I have a five-year-old who gets into more trouble than the rest of them put together! Don’t you ever scare me like that again!”

Dwalin patiently waited for her to finish her tirade before he held out his good arm. She rushed to him and embraced him, sobbing into his neck. He hugged her as well as he could. “Missed you, too, Marn,” he murmured. “I missed you too.”

*

It was a few days before Dwalin could bring himself to face Dis. He wasn’t…afraid, exactly. Fear, he could handle. Fear, he could blow through like it was nothing.

Guilt, though…well, that was something different entirely.

Still, he couldn’t avoid it forever, so when Thorin passed on the invitation to dinner with Dis and the boys, Dwalin had little choice but to accept.

He didn’t know what to expect when they went into the Durin’s house. But when they entered without knocking and took their places at the table as usual, he couldn’t help but think it looked…fine. The kitchen was still disorganized but functional, though maybe a little less clean than usual. Kili was setting the table, and while his eyes were red, he still summoned a small smile and a brief hug for Dwalin. Fili was staring at the table like it personally offended him, but he did manage to say hello in a polite tone.

Dis…well, Dis was the only thing that looked out of place. She was very pale, and seemed thinner than before. Her hair wasn’t pinned back neatly, but was flying out in small wisps from her braid. Her hands shook as she put dinner on the table and Dwalin knew better than to comment on the fact that it all came out of a box. She still wore black, and her glasses were a bit bent out of shape.

But then she looked at him and smiled. “Welcome home,” she said quietly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Dis…” he began, but she shook her head.

“None of that,” she said. “I won’t have you being maudlin. Not now.”

He nodded and they all settled in to eat.

It wasn’t until hours later, dishes washed and put away and the boys in bed, or at least in their room, that Dwalin looks to Dis. “I’m sorry,” he said, for about the fiftieth time.

“No,” she said. “I…I’m glad you were with him.” She stared at her hands, folded in her lap, and almost seemed to hesitate. “How did it happen?” she asked.

Thorin and Balin exchanged a sharp look. “Dis, are you sure…?” Balin began.

“I need to know,” she said. “Please…I want to know.”

Dwalin swallowed. “It was…it was quick. And probably painless for him…road IED, then a bullet to the throat.” He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. “I pulled him out…there wasn’t…Dis, I’m sorry, I tried to save him, but…”

She held up her hand. It trembled violently, but her face was expressionless. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad…I’m glad it was fast. And that he wasn’t alone.”


	29. Repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to.

Bifur hummed along with the song playing from his CD player as he worked on a sword hilt commission piece, the blade of which was attached and balanced up on his shoulder. He had the basic shape cut out from the block of wood, and lifted a foot from his work table to glance down to the order and his sketches before he got started on the details.

 An urgent knock on his door startled him. He hissed out a swear as the sharp sword edge nicked his collarbone near his neck. “If I do anymore of these, I am going to insist they send it to me unsharpened,” he muttered to himself, getting up from his chair and heading to the front door of his apartment.

 “Yes, I’m coming,” Bifur called at the second round of knocking. He peered through the peephole, and furrowed his brow at the sight of Kili standing there. Bofur and Bombur visiting was pretty common, though they always made sure to call ahead before coming over.

 Bifur opened the door and greeted, “Well this is a surprise.”

 Kili didn’t reply, his eyes going to the sword held up against the man’s shoulder.

 Bifur glanced sideways, and realized what the problem was. “Oh, sorry,” he apologized, pointing the sword down to the floor at his side. “I don’t usually answer the door with a sword.” He stepped aside, gesturing for Kili to come in.

 Bifur took in Kili’s somewhat disheveled appearance, the time of day and the boy’s backpack on his shoulders meaning he was here right from school. “How’d you get here?” He didn’t live that far from the neighborhood where everyone else was, but it was still a good distance for an eleven-year-old by himself.

 “Bus, and walked,” Kili answered, steeping inside.

 Bifur closed the door. “I take it your ma doesn’t know you’re here?”

 Kili bit his lip.

 “She would’ve called me if she knew,” Bifur pointed out.

 Kili shook his head guiltily. “I… kind of… ran off after school…”

 Bifur let out a long breath and returned to his studio room to put the sword down, turn off the music, and get his phone. “You know I have to tell her you’re here, right?”

 “Do you have to? I mean…” At the man’s understanding but adamant expression, Kili wilted.

 Bifur gave a little smile. “There’s soda in the fridge, and fruit on the counter. Just give me a minute to talk to your ma?”

 Kili went to the kitchen with a nod. Bifur went out to his balcony, scrolling through his contacts. He leaned against the railing as he called Dis. At her near-panicked and confused-sounding greeting, Bifur said, “I’ve got one of your boys here.”

 “Kili?”

 “Aye.”

 “Oh, thank goodness. Where are you?”

 Bifur heard Dis say something to someone else, and waited to answer, “My place. Quite a surprise, him showing up at my door right after school.”

 “I’ll come by immediately to get him.”

 “Dis, about that…” Bifur ran a hand down the back of his head.

 “Is there something wrong?”

 “No, no, it’s… he came here for a reason. I don’t know what, but let me talk to him? Then when we’re done, I’ll bring him home, aye?” He let out a long breath as Dis’ silence, and said her name.

 “Alright,” she agreed, her voice more calm than before. “I know you’ll take care of him.”

 Bifur closed his eyes for a few seconds as Dis ended the call. Then he turned and went back inside, finding Kili on the couch, the bowl of grapes on the coffee table, trying to open a bottle. He couldn’t help the amused smile as he stated, “That’s not root beer.”

 Kili looked up. “It’s not?”

 Bifur shook his head and motioned for the boy to hand him the bottle. He went to put the beer bottle back in the fridge, and called out, “Orange or Sprite?” At the answer, Bifur pulled out two cans, and joined the boy on the sofa.

 “She’s worried sick, but she said you can stay,” Bifur informed.

 “Thanks,” Kili replied, and took the open can. He took a long sip, and put a few grapes in his mouth.

 “Are you okay?” Bifur inquired.

 Kili swallowed the food and stared down at the soda can. “I… I keep thinking about… about Dad.”

 Bifur’s face fell at the statement, though it would’ve been his first guess why Kili was here. The funeral had been nearly a month ago, but expecting a child to be perfectly fine this far out… well, nobody was.

 “I really miss him. Sometimes, I’ll think he’ll be back from the army stuff, and then…” Kili put his soda down and started wiping at his eyes.

 Bifur placed a hand on Kili’s leg. “Stuff like this… it’s never easy to get through. Takes a bit of time.”

 “I didn’t want to go home, because I don’t want to keep making mama and Fili and everybody sad because I’m still really sad.”

 Bifur fully turned his body and took Kili’s hand. Kili looked up at him, eyes wet. “It’s okay to still be sad. They still are, too. You’re not making them sad. That’s not your fault.”

 “You sure? I mean… they’re not crying as much as me.”

 “That doesn’t mean they’re not sad like you are.” Bifur took a deep breath. “People deal with these things differently. It’s okay to be a person who cries.”

 Kili turned away to eat a few more grapes as he thought. He dried his tears on his shirt, and suddenly asked, “How did your dad die?”

 Bifur choked on his soda. “What?”

 “Sorry, I mean- it’s just… that’s why you came to America, right? Because he died?”

 “Not… not quite. He’s not dead, at least as far as I know.”

 “You don’t know?”

 Bifur wetted his bottom lip. “It’s… not quite that simple, with him. He might be in prison somewhere in Ireland or England, or walking around living life there… I don’t really think about him much, not anymore.”

 “But he’s your dad. You should know, right?”

 “Believe it or not, it’s better that I don’t.”

 “So… if he’s not dead, then what happened?”

 Bifur nervously ran a hand over his face, thinking through how to explain this to a child. It took him a moment. “He joined a bad group of people, who hurt a lot of people. Doing that put us, me, my ma, Bofur, Bombur, their parents, all in danger. So he had to leave. I was… upset when he left. Angry and sad and confused… We moved to America because it was still too dangerous for us there. You see, he didn’t die, but I still lost him.”

 Kili was quiet for a moment. “How did you get through that?”

 “Usually, I try to smile through the bad things. But, that doesn’t always work.” Bifur’s hand went to Kili’s shoulder. “When it doesn’t work, I know that my family and friends are here to help me through it. We’re all here for each other, aye?”

 Kili slowly nodded, then curled up against Bifur’s side. Bifur wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t think you’re annoying anyone, or making them upset. It’s hard, I know. But I assure you, your ma, or Fili, or Thorin, or anyone… They want to be there for you, no matter what.” He heard Kili sniffle and felt him nod his head.

 Bifur let out a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting Kili take the physical comfort he needed.

 A little while later, Kili let go and wiped his eyes. “Thanks, Bifur.”

 Bifur smiled . “Anytime. Now, if you want to finish your snack before I take you home?” While Kili did that, Bifur went to grab his keys and put on his shoes.

 Kili was quiet in the car ride to his house, clutching his backpack to his chest. As soon as they pulled up, Dis and Fili ran out to meet them.

 “Remember what I said, alright?” Bifur told Kili before they both got out.

 “I will,” Kili replied, just before his mother pulled him into a tight hug.

 “Are you okay?” Dis asked her son. Kili hugged her back, and nodded. Then Fili took him and led him inside. Dis turned to Bifur. “Is he okay?”

 Bifur sat on the hood of his car, and Dis stepped in close to avoid any eavesdropping from the open door of the house. “I think he came to me because it’s a neutral place for him. He thinks he’s… a disappointment and making you upset, because he’s still grieving.”

 Dis raised a hand to her mouth, and glanced back to the house.

 “I told him you don’t think that about him, that this will time… that sort of thing.”

 “This is my fault. I should’ve-“

 Bifur took both of Dis’ hands and drew her in. “I know you’ve been doing your best for them, while also trying to work through it for yourself. Don’t doubt you have. He’s young, and… he’s going to think these terrible things after something like this. But he knows you love him. He knows.” He let out a grunt as Dis suddenly threw herself into an embrace.

 Bifur continued verbally assuring Dis, until she let go and stepped back.

 “Thank you so much, for looking after him.”

 “Anytime,” Bifur said softly. He watched as Dis went back into the house. Then he left his car where it was and jogged down to his family’s house, suddenly needing to be with them.

*

Dis was surprised it took a full week after Kili’s escapade for Peg to come into the house and seat herself at the table across from Dis. Dis was sitting there, drinking coffee and staring at nothing.

“You’re not healing,” Peg said bluntly. “You’re not keeping yourself together.”

Dis blinked at her. “Forgive me for not getting over my husband’s death in a month,” she said drily.

Peg gave her a severe look. “I’m not saying not to grieve for him,” she said. “But you need to start getting back on your feet. It’s been a month, you’ve got two lads who need you…and I don’t know that your widow’s pension is going to see you through for long.”

“I’ve got money saved,” Dis mumbled. “And Thorin wouldn’t let us starve.”

“You need to do something,” Peg said. “You need to get out of this house and be busy. Trust me, it’s better than just wallowing in it.”

Dis glanced up quickly before looking away. “Did you…?”

Peg sighed. “You’re not the only one who lost a husband to war,” she said. “Though mine…well, it wasn’t the same sort of war.”

“I thought you said once that he wasn’t dead,” Dis said carefully.

“He isn’t,” Peg said. “At least, I don’t think he is, I feel sure someone would have informed me. But…” She sighed. “Well…you’ve probably guessed this, but…he’s a radical. One of the nationalists. And…and he got caught, after peace was made. Said it was a sham, that it wasn’t right that England should win…we were lucky his plan didn’t get far, really. But he was arrested…probably still in prison. I don’t know…I didn’t bother to find out what the sentence was. Just packed up my family and left.”

“But…”

“He’s dead to me,” Peg said firmly. “He gave up any right to be part of my life, and so he’s dead. I mourned for him in his time, then I went about my life. And that’s what you need to do. Sitting here…it’s not helping you. You’re wallowing, and your boys are suffering for it. Go outside. Have some fun. Get a job. Anything, just live your life.”

Dis sighed. “And what am I supposed to do?” she asked. “Any fun I might have would be marred by knowing he’s gone. And getting a job…no diploma, no degree, and I haven’t worked in fifteen years! Who’s going to hire me?”

“You’d be surprised,” Peg said. “And if you don’t try, you’ll never know.” She stood up. “So you think about that.” With that, she turned and left Dis at the table, her eyes a little more focused.


	30. Working Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis has to get out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay with this chapter. I can't promise we'll be returning to schedule, but enjoy this anyway.

Thorin was very surprised one morning at the beginning of June when he entered the house to find Dis going through the clothes in her closet.

“Planning a trip to Goodwill?” he asked lightly.

“Maybe,” Dis said. “Or I might just have to take these pants out.” She held them up. “Do they look too 1980s to you?”

“Not really,” Thorin said. “But I haven’t paid attention to fashion since the 1980s.”

Dis hummed. “They’re definitely a size or two small,” she said. “Cursed post-baby weight. Still, two or three inches should do it, I think.”

“Why are you taking them out?” Thorin asked. “Those are business clothes...you haven’t worn business clothes in fifteen years.”

“I’m getting a job,” Dis announced, trying to sound casual and failing.

Thorin’s eyebrows shot up. “A job?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Dis said. “Why not? Can’t just keep moping around here all day…need to earn my way, now that I’m the sole provider…”

“I wouldn’t…”

“Yes, yes, I know, you’ll look after us.” She reached over and grabbed a suit jacket. “But I need to do something and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to rely on everyone else to take care of us. So I’m getting a job.”

“It’s not that simple,” Thorin said. “You don’t even have a diploma…what sort of job are you going to just get?”

“I don’t know,” Dis said airily. “Waitressing, maybe…grocery stores, receptionist…find another call center…usual things.”

Thorin sighed but raised no further objections.

*

“Do you know where Mama is?” Kili asked.

Fili shrugged. “Uncle said she was getting a job.”

“Oh.” Kili scuffed his shoes in the dirt. “I’m hungry.”

Fili sighed. “Guess I can make something.” He got up off the porch step. “Come on.”

Kili followed his brother into the house.

“Grilled cheese okay?”

“Yeah.” Kili sat down at the table. “Have you ever done it before?”

“I’m thirteen, I think I can use a stove.” Fili started grabbing things out of the fridge and threw a frying pan on the stove before turning it on.

“I know,” Kili said. “But Mama’s never let you before and…”

“Yeah, well, Mama’s not here,” Fili said. “And we gotta learn someday, right?”

Kili shrugged. “I guess,” he said.

Fili nodded and got to work.

Half an hour later, Dis came into the house and nearly choked on the smoke filling the room. “What on earth happened?” she demanded, moving into the kitchen. Kili was sitting at the counter, chewing on something very black and unappetizing.

“Fili made lunch,” Kili said as though it was obvious.

“I can see that,” Dis said, her eyes moving to her older son, who was standing by the sink, furiously scrubbing at a pan. “That was…a nice thought, Fili.”

Fili didn’t look up. Dis couldn’t tell through the smoke, but his eyes seemed a bit red. She went over and threw open the kitchen window.

“Am I in trouble?” Fili mumbled.

“No,” Dis said. “Of course not.” She moved to turn on a fan. “But maybe you should learn a bit more about cooking.”

Fili shrugged. “Maybe,” he said. “But you need to get a job and won’t have time…”

“Well,” Dis said slowly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

*

The next afternoon, as Fili was going over Kili’s remedial spelling work with him, the door opened and Bombur came in.

“Hey,” Bombur said.

“Hey,” Fili said back. “What’s up?”

“Your mom asked if I’d like to take over kitchen duty,” Bombur said. “And you know I’ve been learning to cook with my mom, so I figured it would be cool to try it on my own. So…I’m here to make dinner.”

“You’re cooking dinner for seven people?” Kili asked. “Isn’t that a lot?”

“Not really,” Bombur said. “Your mom buys the food and she’s paying me for the time…I’ve been thinking about going into culinary when we get back to school and I need practice.”

“Okay,” Fili said. “Thanks.” He turned back to the table. “Kili, spell ‘adjust.’”

“A-J…”

“No.”

“But Fi…”

“That’s not it, Kili. Ad-just.”

“Oh…A-D-J-U-S-T.”

“Good. ‘Centuries.’”

*

Dis came home around five, looking very frazzled, but she smiled warmly when Bombur called her into the kitchen. “Hamburger casserole,” he said. “Just warm it up when everyone gets in.”

“Thanks,” Dis said, pulling a bill out of her purse. “This is very good of you, Bombur.”

He shrugged. “Not doing anything better this summer,” he said. “Besides, I have an ulterior motive.”

“Besides five dollars a meal?” she asked.

Bombur grinned mischievously. “Well, sure,” he said. “My mom’s been trying to get ahold of your scone recipe for years. Figure if I spend enough in your kitchen, I can swipe it.”

Dis laughed, maybe not her full laugh from before, but a laugh all the same. “You’ve spent too much time with your brother,” she said. “But if you hang around long enough…well, maybe I’ll let you in on the secret.”

*

“How goes the job hunt?” Thorin asked.

Dis looked up from the classified ads with a sigh. “I keep telling myself to be patient,” she said. “It’s only been a month, but I’ve only gotten one interview. I’ve probably left it too long since having my kids.”

“Well…you were busy,” Thorin said. “But now they’re big enough you can leave them alone…and Fili’s doing really well, I think.”

Dis hummed. “I’m a bit worried,” she said. “I mean…I know I need to do this, but I wonder if it’s all a bit too much for him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Thorin assured her. “I was looking after you at thirteen.”

Dis gave him a hard look. “That’s my concern,” she said. “I don’t want…”

“He’ll be fine,” Thorin repeated, though with a bit less conviction this time. “He’s not alone...and I’m sure people aren’t rejecting you because you have kids. Lots of mothers are going back to work now…have been for twenty years.”

“I know,” Dis said. “Well…it’s a new day.” She tried to smile and almost managed. “Maybe it’s going to be better this time.”

*

It was a bit odd when Peg stopped in the next afternoon. “You’re coming with me today,” she said before Dis could say anything.

Dis blinked. “What?”

“Open interview day where I work. They need people who can work weekdays. Put on a dress and let’s go.”

Dis stared for a moment before getting up and going upstairs. Ten minutes later, she was in the passenger seat of Peg’s car.

“You think I could be a waitress?” Dis asked, her brain catching up with the situation.

“Can you lift thirty pounds?”

“Yes?”

“Can you remember orders?”

“Yes…”

“Can you put up with guys grabbing your ass?”

“Yes…”

“Then you can be a waitress.” Peg glanced at her. “And probably a well-tipped one. You’re cute.”

“Cute?” Dis looked mildly offended. “I’ll have you know that I was listed as Magic Mirror’s twenty-third most beautiful woman in the world once.”

“Twenty years ago.” Peg smirked. “You’ve definitely shot up to number fifteen by now.”

Dis almost laughed at that.

*

“I got a job,” Dis said a week later.

Thorin grinned at her. “Congratulations,” he said. “Where at?”

“Same diner where Peg works. Waitressing. Seems okay.”

Thorin nodded. “Sounds good for you, anyway. When do you start?”

“I start training on Monday. They’re putting me on daytime shifts, while the boys are at school.”

“Good,” Thorin said. “I hope…”

She smiled. “Things are looking up,” she said. “I know it.” She twirled her wedding ring around on her finger. “Maybe…maybe I’m going to be okay.”


	31. Therapuedic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin feels useless. His friends and family can't have that.

His hand was shaking. It was always shaking now and he hated it.

Dwalin sighed as he headed into the kitchen. Five months and he felt like he’d barely made any progress at all. The doctors at the VA office said he was doing well, always pointing out how he could at least pick things up now, but it was frustrating, especially on days like today.

He picked up the teapot and started to pour the tea before the shaking got too bad and it slipped from his hand, shattering on the floor. He stared at it for a moment, unblinking.

“Dwalin?” His brother sounded concerned. “Are you…?” Balin came into the kitchen. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” Dwalin mumbled. “I didn’t…”

“Go sit,” Balin said. “I’ll take care of this.”

“I can…”

“Sit.” Dwalin found himself being rather forcefully steered back to the couch. “It’s okay.”

Dwalin sat down, not seeing anything. He raised his hand, watching it shake violently for several minutes. _Useless,_ his brain said. _Broken._

A cup of tea was set in front of him. “I’ll pick up a new pot tomorrow,” Balin said, his voice distant.

“It was Mum’s,” Dwalin mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Balin repeated. “Just a teapot. There are millions out there.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do anything right,” Dwalin said.

“None of that.” Balin took Dwalin’s hand and smiled at him. “You’re going to be okay. It’s just a slow process.”

“I hate being useless,” Dwalin said. “I hate that I can’t do anything for myself, that I can’t go back to work…I’m just stuck here. Helpless.”

“You’re not useless,” Balin argued vehemently. “You’re here. That’s enough.”

*

“Oh! Mr. Dwalin!”

Dwalin looked up from the porch step where he was sitting to see Eileen walking over. “Morning, Mrs. Scriver,” he said.

“I’m so glad I caught you!” Eileen looked rather frazzled, in her gardening clothes with her hair in a messy ponytail. “I need a favor.”

Dwalin raised his eyebrows. “What can I do for you?” he asked politely.

“Well, you know how Lori and I have been talking about getting the house fixed up a bit?” she asked. “Roof leaks something terrible and I want to repaint and the gutters all need redoing…”

“I remember him mentioning,” Dwalin said. “But I can’t say I’ll be much help with all that…you know…”

“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant,” Eileen said. “I’ll be doing a lot of it, actually…well, the stuff that doesn’t require too much technical knowledge. But it’s going to be a bit hectic and Nori’s going to be spending most of this semester in after-school activities to keep him out of trouble and it’s an awful lot to ask Dori to drive up from Minneapolis in the afternoons, so I was wondering if you could watch Ori for us while this is going on? We’ll pay, of course,” she added.

Dwalin’s eyebrows went even further. “Well…suppose I could do that,” he said cautiously. “I don’t know that the lad will get too much entertainment here, though.”

“He doesn’t need entertaining,” Eileen said. “I just need you to walk him home and look after him for a few hours in the afternoons this fall…make sure he does his homework, keep an eye on him…and if he gets squirrelly, Fili and Kili are around, but I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them.”

“All right,” Dwalin said. “Usual rate?”

She nodded. “Usual rates.”

*

Looking after Ori in the afternoons was hardly what Dwalin would call a taxing job. The child was still as sweet as Dwalin remembered, quiet and polite and intelligent. They came home every day, waved hello to Eileen if she was visible, then went inside. Ori would have a snack then do his homework, simple fourth-grade material. It was…nice. Calming, after everything he’d been through.

Ori was lying on the living room floor, working on his handwriting exercises. Dwalin sat in his armchair nearby, reading his book and trying not to tear the pages in his shaking hand.

“Mr. Dwalin?”

“Hmm?” Dwalin looked up. “What is it, lad?”

“Were you ever good at handwriting?”

Dwalin laughed at the sudden question. “No, lad,” he said. “My writing was always terrible and now it’s even worse. Not that it matters, now that everything’s typed.”

Ori frowned at his worksheets. “So why am I learning it?” he asked.

“Because…well, it’s nice to get hand-written letters sometimes,” Dwalin said. “I mean…when we wrote letters, I liked that you wrote them by hand.”

Ori looked down. “I had to get Mama to read yours to me,” he admitted. “Cause I hadn’t gotten good at reading cursive yet. But I liked how they looked…I don’t think your writing is bad.”

Dwalin laughed again. “Well, you didn’t then,” he said. “Doubt I could even write my own name with my hand like this.”

Ori peeped up at him. “Have you tried?” he asked.

Dwalin blinked. “Well…no,” he admitted.

“Then maybe you can.” Ori pulled a pencil and a sheet of paper from his backpack. “Try.”

Dwalin swallowed heavily and took the paper and pencil. He set the paper on the coffee table then tried to will his hand to stop shaking enough to hold the pencil steady. It felt awkward in his hand, small and strange to hold.

“That’s it,” Ori said encouragingly.

Slowly, ever so slowly, his hand shaking harder than ever as he maintained control, Dwalin wrote the first trembling “D” on the page.

Ori smiled. “You can do it,” he said.

Dwalin nodded mutely and started to write the rest of his name. He didn’t get very far before his hand seized up and he dropped the pencil. “Sh…shoot,” he said.

“What’s wrong?”

Dwalin did his best to smile. “Hurt to keep my hand in that position too long,” he explained. “Don’t think I’m going to be writing a novel any time soon.”

“Oh.” Ori’s face fell. “I’m sorry it hurt you.”

“Nay, lad,” Dwalin said. “Not your fault…doctor’s say I should work on my fine motor skills…and hey.” He glanced at the trembling, nearly unrecognizable writing on the page. “Today I got half my name written. Tomorrow I might get the whole thing.”

Ori’s smile started creeping back onto his face. “We can learn together,” he said.

Dwalin ruffled Ori’s hair with his good hand. “Aye, lad. That we can.”

*

Balin would never, ever admit to interfering with his brother’s life. He did, of course, because no older brother could ever not make sure the younger was perfectly happy, but Dwalin had made his feelings clear on that long ago. Ever since then, Balin had done his best to make sure that when he did offer help, Dwalin never really knew about it.

Which was why it was so gratifying to come home at the beginning of October to find Dwalin and Ori sitting together at the kitchen table, a batch of fresh-baked cookies cooling next to them, with pages of notebook paper laid out all over the table. Some of the letters on them Balin recognized as those of a small child just learning cursive, but others he knew practically by instinct, even if they were shakier and lighter than usual.

“Good day?” Balin asked.

Ori looked up with a wide smile. “We baked cookies!” he said. “Mr. Dwalin’s special recipe, and then we sat down and did our handwriting exercises and we’re about to start on my math!”

“Lovely,” Balin said. “Well, I won’t disturb you, then.” He headed upstairs, smiling to himself.


	32. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger is one of the stages of grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: insensitive language, mild violence

Fili stood in the schoolyard, leaning on the wall. It was lunch time, but he didn’t want to socialize or eat or do anything except just breathe for a bit.

He glowered at all the other kids outside. They were all so…happy. Normal. They sat around the yard, talking and laughing and just being…kids. They didn’t understand. No one did.

Fili sipped at the soda he’s snuck in his backpack. He’d had friends in elementary and middle school, friends from the orchestra and his classes, but now he didn’t want to see any of them. He hadn’t signed up for orchestra that year, or any extracurriculars at all. Maybe his mother could find solace in keeping busy, but that wouldn’t work for Fili. He only practiced the violin these days out of habit, to keep Kili on it.

It just didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right. He should have been over there, laughing with the other kids and playing in the orchestra and flirting with girls. He shouldn’t have been standing at the back, brooding, but…well, things were different now.

“Hey, Durin.”

Fili glanced up. One of the boys from his grade had come over and leaned on the wall next to him. “Hey,” Fili grunted.

“You still brooding?”

“I’m a teenager. I’m supposed to brood.”

“Come on, man. It’s been like, six months. Aren’t you over this by now?”

Fili crushed the empty soda can in his hand. “No, I’m not fucking over it!” he snapped. “Jesus fucking Christ, do you really think I’m gonna be over my dad fucking dying in six months?”

“What do you need a dad for?” the other boy asked. “I’d love it if I didn’t have mine.”

Fili honestly didn’t remember much about the fight. He just remembered seeing red, then black, then a fist connecting with a face, a shout and a fist returning, and there was more yelling, more hits, and the next thing Fili clearly remembered was being hauled into the principal’s office.

“Who started it?” the principal demanded.

“Fili,” the other boy said.

Fili nodded when the principal looked at him.

“Why were you fighting in the schoolyard?”

Fili clenched his jaw.

“Fili?”

“He said stuff about my dad.”

The principal glanced at the other boy.

“Not about his dad,” the boy said. “I mean…I was just wondering why he’s still so upset…”

Fili’s fist clenched and the principal interrupted. “I see,” she said. “Daniel, I’m putting you in detention for the next three days. You may return to your classroom.”

The other boy got up and left. Fili glanced up at the principal. “Fili, I understand you are still upset, but fighting is absolutely unacceptable. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m giving you three days of out of school suspension. Does that sound fair?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What’s your mother’s phone number?”

“She’s working,” Fili mumbled. “So’s Thorin.”

“Who should I call then?”

“Um…I think my cousin’s on the emergency contact form…Dwalin Fundin.”

The principal got up and left the room. A few minutes later, she came back. “Go get your things. Your cousin will be here in a few minutes to take you home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Fili got up and headed to his locker.

*

Dwalin did not seem very impressed when he showed up to sign Fili out of school, though he at least waited until they had gotten home until he turned to Fili. “What were you fighting about?” he demanded.

Fili swallowed. Back home, with Dwalin glowering at him, it did all seem like an overreaction. “I…he was saying that I shouldn’t be upset and that I’m better off without Dad here…and I just…I was angry. I’m always so angry at everything…I don’t know why, I just wish that…”

Dwalin sighed, his expression softening. “It’s natural enough to be angry,” he said, his voice gentle. “You’re thirteen…everyone’s angry at that age. And…well, the VA counsellors keep telling me anger is one of the stage of grief or some shit. But you can’t take your anger out on your classmates.”

“I…”

“If you need to hit someone, hit me. I can take it better than that boy could.”

Fili stared for a moment. Dwalin raised his eyebrows. “Go on,” he said. “You need to hit someone. Hit me, I won’t fight back.”

Fili hesitated a moment before he launched himself at Dwalin, beating on the big man’s chest. Dwalin didn’t move, just stood there and took it until Fili suddenly stopped and rushed into Dwalin’s arms, sobbing. Immediately, Dwalin wrapped his arms around Fili, hugging him close.

“There now,” Dwalin said. “It’s okay.”

Fili cried for far too long, letting out the stream of emotions he’d been bottling for the last six months at once. Dwalin let Fili cry on his chest until it finally, finally ended.

“Feel better?” Dwalin asked.

“No,” Fili muttered.

“Wouldn’t think so.” Dwalin pushed Fili back to arm’s length. “Do you want me to explain things to your mother when she gets home or will you do it?”

“I’ll do it,” Fili said.

“Okay. She’s probably going to be mad, so I’d suggest you go to your room and wait for her.”

Fili nodded and headed upstairs. As soon as the door closed, he fell onto the bed and fell asleep.

*

Hours later, though it only felt like a few minutes, the door opened and the light came on. Fili groaned and rolled over to see his mother standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips.

“Dwalin said you got into a fight and have been suspended from school,” she said.

“Yeah.” Fili sat up, feeling awful. Dis went and sat down on Kili’s bed facing him.

“He said you wanted to explain what happened beyond that. I’m very interested to hear this.”

Fili took a deep breath and told her what had happened and how angry he was and everything else. “I just…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he finished. “And I can’t always control it…”

Dis nodded, her expression a little more relaxed. “Well, I’m not going to argue with your principal,” she said. "But I’ve been looking into it and we’re all going to start going to therapy.”

Fili groaned. “Come on, Mama. I’m not crazy, just…”

“I didn’t say you were. Therapy is for anyone who needs it. And we all do. I should have started sooner, but…” She took a few deep breaths. “Well. That’s what it’s going to be. And I will hear no arguments about it, understood?”

Fili sighed. “Yes, Mama.”

“Good. I know that your principal has already punished you, but I’m also grounding you for the next week. Understood?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“All right.” Dis stood up. “I’ll call you for dinner.”

*

“What do you think’s wrong with him?” Dis asked later that afternoon.

“Nothing’s wrong with him,” Eileen said. “He’s a teenager going through a very stressful situation without the support system he grew up with.”

Dis sighed. “I suppose,” she said. “I just…well, I don’t have much experience with teenage boys, since Thorin’s so much older than me…”

“Hmm.” Eileen sipped her coffee thoughtfully. “Didn’t you say you have another brother Thorin raised?”

“I don’t see how that’s helpful,” Dis said. “Frerin vanished years ago.”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean that you might not have experience with teenage boys but Thorin does. Maybe you should…I don’t know, arrange for Fili to spend more time with Thorin? Might be good for both of them.”

Dis snorted. “Sounds like a recipe for disaster,” she said. “But sure. Don’t see what else I can do.”

Eileen shrugged. “Fili needs a positive male role model, Thorin needs validation. See what happens.”

*

Fili was very surprised the next morning when his mother woke him as usual.

“Get up, Fili,” Dis said.

“But I’m not going to school,” he said.

“No,” Dis said. “Thorin’s taking you into the auto shop today.”

“Why?” Fili asked, getting up.

“Because I’m not leaving you home alone and you’ll get a better experience from this than from bothering Dwalin.”

Fili nodded. Kili looked at him jealously. “I wish I could hang out with Uncle Thorin all day,” he whined.

“This isn’t a reward, Ki,” Fili said, grabbing his rattier clothes from the closet. “I’m probably just going to sit in the lobby all day.”

They headed down to the kitchen. Thorin was already there, drinking coffee while Dis got her purse sorted for the day.

“Morning, boys,” Thorin said.

“Morning, Uncle,” Kili said, going to grab the cornflakes.

Fili grunted and sat down, glaring at the table.

Thorin merely raised his eyebrows at him. “Nice to see you’re ready to work,” he said.

“But I’m not gonna be working,” Fili said. “Too young.”

“Never too young to start learning,” Thorin said. “And if you’re hanging around, you’re going to be of use.”

Fili glanced at his mother, who merely gave him a pointed look. Fili sighed and took the offered box of cornflakes from Kili.

Kili and Dis left at 7:30 as usual. Fili and Thorin stayed in the kitchen for a little longer.

“I was also thinking,” Thorin said. “If you pay attention today, would you like to learn to play the guitar when we get home?”

Fili looked up. “I…yeah,” he said. “But…Mama said I should finish with the violin first.”

“You play violin well,” Thorin said. “I think guitar is a better fit for you, anyway.”

Fili nodded eagerly. “I’d like to,” he said.

“Good,” Thorin said. “Well, let’s get going. Remember, pay attention and do well.”

They got up and headed out.

Marnie and Mr. Blue both raised their eyebrows when Fili followed Thorin into the garage, but a quick glare was all it took to get them to keep quiet. Thorin took Fili deep into the garage and over to a car.

“Okay, Fili,” Thorin said. “Let me show you how to change oil.”

*

By the end of the day, Fili was fairly tired and covered in motor oil, but he felt…calmer. Happier than he had in months.

Thorin smiled at him as they drove home. “You did well,” he said. “You could be a top-notch mechanic someday.”

Fili nodded. “I think I’d like that,” he said. “But Mama wants me to go to college.”

“Well, you’ve got a few years to decide,” Thorin said. “But for now, I think I promised to teach you guitar.” He stopped the car and they headed into Thorin’s house. “Would you like that?”

“Yeah,” Fili said.

“Then come on,” Thorin said. “I think you’re allowed in my music room now.”

Fili’s eyes widened. All through his childhood, he was only allowed in Thorin’s music room on very special occasions. With shallow breaths, he followed Thorin upstairs.

Once inside, Thorin picked up one of his spare acoustic guitars and handed it to Fili. “Okay, kid,” he said. “Let’s get started.”

*

An hour later, Fili felt more frustrated than he’d ever been in his life.

“I don’t understand,” he muttered. “I got the violin okay.”

“You’ve just started,” Thorin said soothingly. “You’re doing fine for a beginner.”

“Right,” Fili muttered. He picked his guitar up. “Guess that’ll have to do.”

*

After three days of auto mechanics and guitar lessons, Fili felt a lot better about himself. He was still angry, sometimes, but he knew he couldn’t lash out at Thorin. Even if his uncle hadn’t been one of the most terrifying men in the city, his mother definitely wouldn’t stand for that.

Besides, it was hard to work up the energy to be angry when he was tired from changing oil and tires and plucking guitar strings all day. By the time Fili’s three-day suspension was up, he wished he could have just left school and kept doing it.

“You know,” Thorin said as he and Fili headed back to Dis’s house for dinner on the last night. “You’re doing really well with all that mechanical stuff. Why don’t you keep coming to the shop after school and on weekends?”

Fili glanced up. “Will Mr. Blue mind?” he asked.

“If I’m supervising and you don’t break anything, he won’t,” Thorin said. “Just a thought.”

“I’d like that,” Fili said. “It’s…I think it helps.”

Thorin nodded. Fili felt exhausted, but…happier. It was nice, he realized, getting to see Thorin, who was always so distant and closed-off, finally open up, at least a little bit. Not that they really talked about their emotions—that would have just been embarrassing. But when he was explaining engine parts and guitar chords and other minutiae of his passions, Fili felt like he could understand Thorin in a way that just should not have been possible.

Dis glanced up from the table when they got in. “Busy day?” she asked.

“About normal,” Thorin said. “What’s for dinner?”


	33. Our Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori is in trouble again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: drunkenness and off-screen sex.

_2005_

Nori knew it was bad news when his mother was waiting in the kitchen for him when he got home from school. Eileen always liked to be doing something, fixing the house or trying a recipe or just annoying Dis. But now she was sitting at the table without so much as a cup of coffee in hand, arms crossed and glaring at Nori.

Nori gulped. Eileen did not glare, not unless something was really, really bad. “Hi, Ma,” he said, trying to sound nice.

“Why did I get a call from the school asking if you were excused from fifth and sixth periods today?” she demanded.

“Um…” Nori swallowed again. “Well, fifth period is my study hall and no one goes to study hall and sixth is American Lit. and who really cares about a bunch of dead people and…” He broke off as Eileen’s glower intensified.

“Where were you?” Her voice was getting dangerously close to shouting.

“Just…you know…took a walk.” Nori shrugged vaguely.

Eileen’s eyes narrowed even more. She knew he was lying. She always knew. Maybe she didn’t mother by instinct as well as Dis did, but she could read Nori like a book. “Nori,” she said, her voice still angry but at least quieter. “Your education is very important. Furthermore, your safety is very important. If you aren’t in school and not here, I don’t know where you are and I can’t help you if you get into trouble. Now, where were you today?”

“Just outside,” Nori muttered. “With some guys.”

“Bofur?”

“No.” Nori met her eye. “He didn’t know anything about it. He likes school.”

“What guys, then?”

“Just…you know. Guys from school.”

Eileen glared for a minute. “The school also said your grades are slipping. Maybe going to that study hall would be a good idea?”

Nori shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Right. Reports cards come out next week. You’re grounded until your father and I both sign off on it, and if you have anything less than B’s, that will extend until you get your grades up. Is that understood?”

“Loud and clear.”

“And if I get another call, I will also revoke your allowance.”

*

Oin didn’t go out much. He was usually too focused on his job at the hospital to bother. But sometimes, the hospital was a bit stifling and he’d take a walk during his lunch break just to get some fresh air.

Usually, these walks were fairly uninteresting—when you got to be Oin’s age and had worked in the hospital as long as he had, nothing really counted as unusual anymore. At least, not enough to remark on.

But today, Oin did notice something worth remarking on.

“Nori!” he called.

The boy turned, looking extremely guilty. The older man he’d been talking to spotted Oin and beat a hasty retreat, leaving Nori on the sidewalk looking like a deer caught in headlights. Oin hurried over.

“What are you doing?” he demanded. “You’re supposed to be in school!”

“It’s lunch time,” Nori muttered. “They let us leave sometimes.”

“Not according to your father, they don’t,” Oin said sternly. “And who was that you were talking to?”

Nori shrugged. “Just…a guy I know,” he muttered.

Oin’s eyes narrowed. “Empty your pockets.”

“Come on, Oin, I’m not stealing…”

“Empty your pockets before I call your mother.”

Nori sighed and reached into his jacket pockets, producing several packs of cigarettes. “They aren’t mine,” he said hastily at Oin’s look of shock. “I mean…I resell them. You know...for business.” He looked down.

“Other kids?”

“They’d just find someone else to buy from,” Nori muttered.

Oin rubbed at his temples for a minute. “Put those in the bin,” he ordered. “And I’m taking you home and you can tell your mother what you’ve been doing.”

Nori looked at him in horror. “But…I can’t…she’ll be pissed!”

“Should’ve thought of that before you decided to be a delinquent,” Oin snapped. “And it’s either your mother or the police, and I think you know which you’d rather deal with.”

Nori sighed and then obeyed. He followed Oin to the car, eyes downcast. Oin tried not to feel bad. It was for the boy’s own good, after all.

Oin drove in silence. Nori shifted uncomfortably the whole way, but offered no words in his own defense. They got back to the Scriver house quickly. Nori looked like he was going to bolt as soon as the car stopped, but Oin glared and Nori simply got out of the car and headed to the door.

Eileen was in the living room, putting up new wallpaper. Having Dis gone during the days meant that Eileen didn’t have anyone to go bother, so she had been very industrious over the last several months. She looked up in alarm when Oin steered Nori into the room.

“What did you do now?” Eileen asked, her voice a mix between exasperation and worry.

Nori stared stubbornly at the ground. Oin pushed his shoulder a bit. “You tell her or I do,” he said.

“Dr. Farin caught me out of school.”

“Again?” Eileen looked ready to start shouting now. “Nori, we talked about this, you know…!”

“Tell her what you were doing outside of school,” Oin prompted.

Now Eileen looked very afraid. Nori took a deep breath. “I was buying cigarettes,” he said. “To resell. At school.” He looked like he was going to sink through the floor at any minute.

Eileen stared for a moment before her face set into a very hard expression. “Thank you for bringing him home, Dr. Farin,” she said. “His father and I will deal with him. I’m very sorry to have taken time out of your work day.”

Oin waved his hand. “Not a problem, I’ve still got ten minutes before my lunch break is up.” He did his best to smile at Eileen. “Good luck.” With that, he turned and left.

*

If Eileen was pissed at Nori, it was nothing compared to Lori’s reaction. Nori had been on the receiving end of many a disappointed glare in his day, but no one could even come close to his father in that department. Well, Dori might, someday, but Nori was hoping to never find out.

“Nori,” Lori said as soon as he was home and Nori had been called down from his room. Eileen stood behind her husband, arms crossed and face furious. Ori had been sent over to Dwalin’s for the afternoon as usual, though Nori suspected that the visit might be a bit longer than normal. “I understand you were caught with tobacco this afternoon?”

Nori shrugged. “I wasn’t smoking it,” he said.

“You’re lucky the police didn’t catch you,” Lori said. He studied his son for a moment. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’m already grounded until I’m thirty, what’s it matter?” Nori snapped.

“Don’t you take that tone!” Eileen snapped back. “You’re in enough trouble already!”

Lori raised his hand for silence. “Nori,” he said, ignoring his wife’s outburst. “This is a very serious matter. Skipping school and dealing drugs are not the sorts of behaviors I expect from you.”

“What do you expect then?” Nori said, his voice rising. “You want me to be like your golden boy, perfect Dori who’s never gotten in trouble and is the most successful person ever? You want me to be like Ori, all nice and sweet and cute who could get away with murder? You want me to be all yes, sir, no, sir, keep your head down, be another office drone like the rest of you? You want me to just be a repeat of the perfect sons you have?”

“That’s not…”

“FORGET IT!” Nori shouted. “I’M NOT DORI AND I’M NOT ORI BUT THEY’RE ALWAYS SO PERFECT AND YOU CAN ALWAYS DEPEND ON THEM TO DO RIGHT! YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM! OH, NEVER MIND THAT CONCERT WE PROMISED, DORI’S GETTING HIS MASTER’S DEGREE! NEVER MIND THAT GAME YOU WANTED TO PLAY, ORI’S THE YOUNGEST, HE GETS TO PICK! WHY CAN’T YOU BE POLITE LIKE DORI? WHY CAN’T YOU BE NICE LIKE ORI? WHY CAN’T YOU BABYSIT, FILI DOES IT JUST FINE! KILI PRACTICES HIS INSTRUMENT SIX HOURS A DAY, WHY DON’T YOU? MRS. MATTOCKS NEVER DEALS WITH THIS! MRS. FARIN NEVER DEALS WITH THIS! BUT NO, THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT, JUST ANOTHER PERFECT SON WHO NEVER MESSES UP OR GETS BORED OR WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE FOR ONCE!”

“Nori…” Eileen’s eyes were wide and shining with tears. “Nori, we didn’t mean…”

He didn’t want to hear it. He turned and ran out the door, slamming it behind him. Eileen was on her feet in a minute to follow. Lori just stared after them.

A minute later, Eileen was back in the house. “He’s gone,” she said. “Got away from me…knew I needed that gym membership.”

“Well, go find him, then,” Lori said.

She glared. “I was planning to,” she snapped. “And when we do, maybe we should actually listen to him.”

Lori raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I was listening,” he said.

“Were you, though?” With that, Eileen turned and left the house.

*

Eileen returned an hour later. Dwalin was just behind her, with both Ori and Nori trailing behind. Lori sighed with relief.

“Thank you for your help, Mr. Dwalin,” Eileen said. “I don’t know how you always manage to find them.”

Dwalin waved his hand. “I was a teenage rebel once, too,” he said. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” He ruffled Ori’s hair as he walked back out. Nori was glaring at the floor, looking even grumpier than he had earlier.

“Ori, would you please set the table for dinner?” Eileen asked.

Ori nodded and went to the dining room to do so. Only then did Eileen turn back to Nori.

“Nori,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Nori scuffed his feet on the ground. “I just…” He looked like he was holding back tears. Lori watched him carefully.

“We never meant to make you feel like you had to be someone you’re not,” Lori said. He was a little out of his depths here. This wasn’t business, this was emotions, and that was harder to handle. “We don’t want you to be anyone but you.”

“But we do want you to do well,” Eileen said. “And not get into trouble with the law.”

“I just…” Nori took a deep breath. “School’s boring and I can’t focus and I don’t really want to go into academics or business but I don’t know what I want to do and I know it was wrong but I just wanted the money and…” He trailed off.

Eileen and Lori exchanged a look. “We’ll have to think about this,” Lori finally said. “We had no idea you felt this way and it’s going to take us a while to work out a solution. Until then, I am extending your grounding to the end of the school year and will be withholding your allowance for that time. I understand you’re frustrated and upset, so we will revisit this in a week or two and if your behavior and grades have improved, I may reconsider. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

Lori nodded. “All right. You are excused to your room until dinner.”

As soon as Nori was gone, Lori looked to his wife. “Do you think we handled that well?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “This is my first time raising a teenager. At least you’ve got some experience.”

“Hmm…” Lori looked thoughtful. “Maybe Dori would get through to him better.”

Eileen sighed. “Can’t hurt.”

*

“Hey,” Bifur greeted, opening the door to Dori. He glanced to the full bottle of wine in the other man’s hand and raised his brow. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

 “Not just talk,” Dori replied. He set the bottle on the dining table and went to find glasses. “Also need someone to drink with… You are fine drinking tonight, right?”

 “I suppose so. Top left for glasses.”

 “Thanks. Would’ve been sad to drink this entire thing alone and by myself.” Dori settled on two short glass cups and opened the bottle. “Red wine fine?”

 “It’s what you’ve got, so aye. Though I wouldn’t know if it’s much good, since wine isn’t my drink of choice.”

 “Yes, well… I’m not going to be judging taste tonight.”

 “That bad, huh?”

 Dori nodded and poured them a full glass each.

 Bifur sat and looked at his friend across the small table. “So, what’s happened tonight to put you in a right mood?”

 Dori took a long sip. “They asked me to talk to Nori. He won’t stop getting in trouble and such.”

 “I take it that didn’t go well?”

 Dori sighed. “I don’t—we don’t understand it. He says it’s because he’s bored, but there’s more than enough things for him to be doing.”

 “He hangs out with Bofur and Fili enough to not complain about being bored,” Bifur agreed before downing a bit of his wine.

 “Not that Bofur is the best influence,” Dori said, though his little grin was enough to soothe any irritation to the other man. “None of them are, really.”

 “Oh, I’d say Bombur is much more behaved than Bofur can be…” Bifur replied, playing along. “Quieter, anyway. Though he still participates.”

 “Yes, well, when the others start getting involved in Nori’s antics-“

 “Don’t think Bofur ever would. Nori’s his best friend, but he knows right from wrong.”

 “Despite all this… I don’t think Nori would let him. Nori loves him too much to let him get in this sort of trouble with him.”

 “Would that go for all of them?”

 Dori nodded. “Hope so. I’d hate for Dis to have to deal with this if her boys started.” He refilled his glass. “It’s just… we don’t know, and he’s not telling me whatever the real reason is.”

 “Teens can be like that.”

 “Yours isn’t,” Dori responded with a deep sigh. “Bofur talks to you about anything, yes?”

 Bifur drank the rest of the wine in his cup, which Dori immediately refilled. “Aye, he is rather open with me. I suppose that’s just… how we’ve always been. Though he hasn’t shared much involving Nori’s trouble.”

 “How do you get like that? I mean, I guess it’s too late now, but… you know?”

 Bifur shrugged. “We just are. Can’t really explain it. The real question is what you’re all going to do about it now.”

 “Dad and Eileen are trying. I’m trying. We’re talking to him, with him, and… we don’t know if we’re getting through.” Dori filled his glass again. “We… if it takes actual jail time for him to get it through his head…”

 “I’d rather it not, either. Maybe Bofur might smack some sense into him before it comes to that.”

 “Would you tell him to do that?”

 Bifur raised his eyebrows in amusement. “You’ll have to ask him that yourself.”

 Dori looked down into his once-again empty glass, and the wine bottle. “Think I’m no longer in the state to be talking about something so serious… How’s your teaching job at the community center going?” He suddenly switched topics and poured himself another full glass. “Any troublesome kids there?”

 Bifur grinned and pushed his empty cup forward for it to be refilled. He noticed a bit sloshing over the side, but didn’t comment.

*

 They had finished the wine and were nursing a beer each. After Dori finished another fit of drunken laughing, Bifur grinned and asked, “So, how’s that crush on Balin going? Making any headway?”

 “I am not… do not have a… those feelings for Balin, thank you,” Dori protested, picking up his beer and waving it before downing more.

 “Sure you don’t,” Bifur said with a giggle. “You still look at him like a love-sick puppy?”

 “I am not a love-sick puppy. And certainly not for him… anymore.”

 Bifur got up and went around the table, staggering a bit, to stand in front of his friend. “Oh? Not anymore? Somehow, I doubt that…”

 “I do not,” Dori stood up, and they were now rather close.

 “Aye?” Bifur couldn’t help but to keep teasing.

 “Aye, you bastard.” Against Dori’s usually much-better judgment, he grabbed the loose hair at the sides of Bifur’s head and yanked him into a hard kiss.

 Against Bifur’s better judgment, he let Dori kiss him. He couldn’t help the little growl from his throat as the other man pulled away. Though Dori barely gave him a moment to breathe, before he pulled Bifur in for another kiss.

 This time Bifur answered with pressure of his own. Then when Dori pushed him backwards into the fridge, he laughed into the other man’s mouth.

 “I do not have a crush on Balin,” Dori insisted, holding Bifur against the fridge with both hands on the larger man’s chest.

 “I think he’d appreciate those hands you’ve got,” Bifur taunted. “Nice and strong.” He brought his hands up between their bodies to grasp at Dori’s shirt.

 “Yours aren’t so bad, yourself,” Dori breathily responded. “I mean…”

 Both were now too far gone for better judgment to take hold, and they kissed again. Their hands went to each other’s shirts to pull them up and off. They weren’t very coordinated, and took longer than it should have.

 Dori pinned Bifur against the fridge again, and his hands went down to the waistband of the other’s jeans. Bifur pushed back before Dori could undo the button and zipper. Though it wasn’t a gesture of refusal, and he seized Dori’s wrists and pinned them to his sides to get as much control as he could, then started a rough kiss.

 They eventually made their way to the bedroom, stumbling from their drunkenness and trying to get their pants off along the way. Bifur tripped over his jeans around his ankles and fell backwards onto the bed. Dori didn’t even give him a chance to sit up before pouncing on him.

*

 Dori cracked his eyes open, and immediately regretted doing so at the splitting headache that followed the small motion. He let out a groan and tightened his hand. A hand, he slowly realized, was half-entangled in long thick hair. Dori opened his eyes a bit more and raised his head, only to have black fill most of his vision.

 “Oh no…” Dori groaned, raising his other hand from the other man’s arm across his waist. In his arms was a naked sleeping Bifur. And Dori was just as naked. “Oh dear…”

 Bifur let out a groan. “Hungover, huh? Me too, though I might be a lot more sore than you.”

 Dori closed his eyes and let out a breath. “This shouldn’t have happened. I am so sor-“

 Bifur slightly raised his head before moving up and tightening his arms around Dori’s middle. “Stop your fretting. I liked it. Well, what I can remember, anyway.”

 That only made Dori groan louder and cover his eyes with his hand. After a long moment, he asked, “So… what does this make us, then?”

 Bifur shrugged. “We’re still friends, by my reckoning. No need for that to change.”

 “I suppose not. It’s just…” Dori blew out a short breath.

 “We can talk it over, if you like, over breakfast.” Bifur squeezed his eyes closed. “Which isn’t happening until I can at least properly open my eyes.”

 They lay there quietly for a while, until Bifur raised his head, his hair more wild than Dori had ever seen it, and grinned. “One question for you.”

 “Yes?”

 “Who were you thinking of while we were…?” Bifur’s smile turned mischievous. “Me or Balin?”

 Dori snorted, “Bastard.”

 Bifur started laughing, and Dori shoved him off the bed. He didn’t stop laughing as he pulled himself upright and climbed back on.

 “Fuck you.”

 “You already did that.” Bifur collapsed into a giggling heap on the floor as Dori kicked him off again.

 Dori rolled over, his headache spiking with Bifur’s laughter. “You or Balin, indeed,” he muttered.


	34. Where It Went Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe they can try to fix this.

“Where did I go wrong with him, Dis?” Eileen set her coffee cup down a little more forcefully than was strictly necessary. “No one else has to deal with this!”

Dis clicked her tongue. “We all have to deal with this,” she said. “Okay, maybe it’s not as bad for the rest of us, but…they all cause trouble. They all get into mischief.”

“They don’t all get within three seconds of getting arrested,” Eileen snapped. “Seriously, what happened? He never said he was unhappy…and I try, I really do, but I don’t know what to do with him and he always just seemed so happy to run around with the others…he never indicated he needed us…”

“Of course he needs you,” Dis cut in. “You’re his mother…and he’s a middle child. He’s caught between two brothers.”

“Dori doesn’t even live with us!”

“But Lori works more often than not,” Dis pointed out. “And you’ve thrown yourself into home improvement projects and just stuck him in an after-school program rather than spend any time with him…”

“I know,” Eileen groaned. “I know I’ve been a bad mother to him. I just…I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Try spending more time with him,” Dis said. “He loves you…when he was little, he was always following you like a duckling…he’s attached to you…as attached as a fifteen-year-old is to his mother, anyway.”

Eileen sighed. “I just…I don’t know how to do it without being weird, you know?”

“Couldn’t tell you,” Dis said. “Fili and Kili have always been happy to entertain themselves.”

“Hmm,” Eileen said. “Might want to check in on them.”

“I have,” Dis assured her. “Fili said he’d rather hang out with Thorin in the shop than be here and Kili usually goes to help with Gimli after school. I offered to do things with them and they laughed at me.”

“Great,” Eileen said. “Too bad I don’t have a cool brother to take over for me.”

“Dori?”

“Oh, god, no,” Eileen said. “We tried to get Dori to talk to him and they argued for four hours. And Dori was pretty hungover the next day.” She smirked. “Peg said Bifur was home begging for an Irish hangover cure the same day.”

“Really?” Dis looked way too intrigued. “We got anything to worry about there?”

“Couldn’t say,” Eileen said with a conspiratorial smirk. “But I can’t see Lori approving of the match either way.”

“He’s not that old-fashioned, is he? He married you!”

“No, no,” Eileen said. “He’s known about Dori for years…but I can’t see him approving of Bifur as a romantic interest.”

“They’re adults, they can make their own choices.”

“I know.” Eileen shook her head. “But back to Nori…”

“Well…handing Fili a wrench and a guitar worked for him…”

“Not a mechanic. Or a musician.”

“No, but you could turn him over to Balin,” Dis said. “He was lamenting being the only member of Erebor who doesn’t get to mentor someone.”

*

Nori sat on his bed in a bad mood. He could tell that his parents had taken his outburst to heart and were trying to…he wasn’t actually sure. Talk to him, maybe? Do all the family counselling shit that his mom read about online? They certainly weren’t doing very well at the whole understanding thing.

Then again, that was because his parents were two of the most clueless people Nori knew, or at least, it felt like it. His mom was a gossipy busybody who liked gardening and home improvement, his dad was a conservative workaholic who couldn’t distinguish a human emotion from a turnip, and they were both just so frustrating.

Nori glanced around the room. Nothing interesting, really, just the general mess of a teenage boy, laundry hamper stuffed full because he hadn’t been bothered to carry it downstairs, books sitting haphazardly on the shelf or strewn about the floor, CDs all over the desk next to his stereo, a few relics of childhood here and there. He smiled slightly when he spotted the little wooden fox Bifur had carved for him years ago peeking out of the clutter on his dresser.

His smile disappeared pretty quickly. He hadn’t been out in over a week, not properly. Hadn’t spent any time with Bofur except at school, and they only had once class together. Nori knew it was partially his own fault for acting out, but still. Bofur lived right across the street. Nori could even see into his bedroom window from his own. Heck, they still occasionally sent messages to each other using Morse code and flashlights, though that was way less frequent these days.

He sighed dramatically and flopped backwards, staring at the ceiling. He was bored, and that was part of the problem. His mind was always working at a million miles an hour and he was never quite sure what to do, he never really knew much of anything except that he was a ball of frustration and hormones and he really missed Bofur and wanted to just go outside and…

And his mother was already pissed at him, and that was something Nori couldn’t stand. His mother was…well, she was annoying sometimes, but everyone’s mom was. And she tried, he knew she did. She wasn’t half as bad as his father…

And his father wasn’t that bad, either. Emotionally distant, sure, but he tried. Nori knew that his parents were doing their best, they were just…frustrating.

Well…they were trying, at least. That was more than Nori could say about a lot of parents, though he was loathe to admit it half the time. His parents weren’t perfect. They never would be. But they were trying.

And if they were trying…well, he should try, too.

Nori heard the door open downstairs and he frowned. Ori was off at an art class and his father wasn’t due to return for hours. Who else would be calling at this hour?

He heard voices downstairs, then his mother calling him. Nori got up, confused, and headed downstairs.

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t Bofur in the kitchen, his face stained with tears.

Nori glanced at his mother, who was standing at the counter, trying to look like she wasn’t hovering. “Emergency,” she said. “He should tell you himself.”

Nori moved to his friend. Bofur held himself together for about three seconds before he collapsed on Nori’s neck, crying again. Nori hugged him awkwardly, trying to preserve some of his teenage dignity. “What’s wrong, Bof?” he asked.

“It’s Ma,” he said. “She’s dying.”


	35. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betsy learns her fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Discussion of mental illness and death.

If there was one thing Betsy Mattocks had learned from having children, it was that sometimes, you have to hide your own troubles for theirs.

A thousand times, she had swallowed tears because Bombur was crying. A million times, she had held back her anger when Bofur was causing trouble. Every day, she kept her household steady the best she could, thanking every star that she had her husband and her sister to help. Because…

She’d barely noticed at first. She had always been a bit scatter-brained—her children were dear, and tried to be good, but with Bofur around and Nori never far behind it was hard to stay organized. So when the little things started getting away from her, she didn’t make anything of it. Forgetting what she was doing? Losing things? Normal things, really. Everyone had their moments.

But then it started getting worse. Days when she wouldn’t do what she meant to because she simply forgot, even with notes on the calendar. Moments when she would have to search for the names of her own sons. Times when a fact she knew was just beyond her grasp. Again, normal. But it was a bit too often, too long, with things too obvious.

But being a mother meant keeping quiet. It meant putting everyone else first. It meant not letting anyone else know you were hurting.

It had been going on for months. Maybe even years, she couldn’t remember. All she knew was that she had to keep up appearances, keep her children fed and sheltered, keep her husband happy. That was easy enough, wasn’t it? No one needed to notice anything was off.

Except Brian, her wonderful, quiet Brian…he noticed. Of course he did. It was too much for too long and he noticed. He realized something was wrong. He had to.

She protested, saying that it was nothing, so she was absent-minded, it wasn’t an uncommon trait.

“Bet,” he said, his eyes stern. “You’ve never been like this before. I’m worried.”

“What would you like me to do?” she asked. “Home remedies?”

“I want you to see a doctor,” he said.

She huffed a laugh. “With what money?” she asked. “We’re just getting by as it is. How would I pay a doctor?”

That had been almost a year ago and it had only gotten worse. After Betsy had gotten up three times in one night for something that didn’t need to be done, Brian put his foot down.

“You’re going to see someone,” he said. “Today. I’ve made an appointment and I will drive you myself.”

“Brian…”

“I’ve been saving and I bought some insurance. You’ll be able to see someone.” He gave her a look. “You’re going and that’s the end of it.”

“I’m not a child!” she snapped.

“I never said you were,” he said back. “But you’re not using pride to get out of this.”

*

 _Early-onset Alzheimer’s._ It sounded…fake. Technical. Stiff. “I’m sorry.”

Her hands were shaking. That wasn’t normal. That wasn’t something she could hide.

But this wasn’t normal, was it?

Okay, shaking hands when you’re handed a death sentence probably was normal, but…

“That’s impossible,” Brian was saying, cutting through her thoughts. “She’s barely forty!”

“It happens that way, sometimes,” the doctor said quietly. “It can come early…it’s rare, but…”

“So what can we do?” Brain demanded. His hand still clutched hers. “Can we do anything?”

“There are medications,” the doctor said. “I’ll be giving you some prescriptions. But…but they help the symptoms, not the disease. At this stage…well, it can’t be stopped.”

Brian was crying. Betsy’s grip on his hand tightened. _Hide your fear. He’s afraid, you can’t be._ She looked up at the doctor, keeping her gaze steady. “How long?” she asked quietly.

The doctor looked down. “The average life expectancy is four to eight years after diagnosis,” he said. “But that’s a very rough estimate…some people have survived decades after being diagnosed.” He managed to meet her eye. “I wish you’d come in sooner, Mrs. Mattocks. There wasn’t much more I could do, but…”

“Thank you,” she said. “We’ll…we’ll be going now.”

“Bet…” Brian began.

“I know.” She closed her eyes. “Come on…we’ve got a little more time, at least.”

*

Brian watched as his wife trudged up the stairs to their bedroom. He turned to lock the front door, and let out a long breath. They hadn’t said anything in the car on the way home from Betsy’s medical appointment. How could they? They needed some time to process what they had been told. And as much as they wanted to wish the test results were wrong… now they knew.

 He followed Betsy upstairs, and found her lying on her back on their bed, like she had just fallen backwards onto it. She had kicked off her shoes and dropped her purse next to them. Brian took off his shoes, and laid on his side next to her. She looked to him when his hand gently grabbed hers.

 They were quiet for a while, until Betsy sighed, “We’ll have to tell them, you know.”

 “Do we have to right away? I mean, we just found out ourselves not thirty minutes ago.”

 Betsy turned her husband’s wrist to see the face of his watch. “By the time they all get here, we’ll have found out two-and-a-half hours ago.”

 Brian shook his head. “I still don’t think I’ll have processed this by then.”

 “No point in holding off on telling them, is there? If we wait, it’ll just get harder the longer we put it off. Then by the time we’ll absolutely have to, I… I’ll be too far gone.” Betsy’s voice cracked on the last three words.

 Brian kissed the back of Betsy’s hand. “We… we’ve always been honest with our boys.”

 “Exactly.” Betsy ran her free hand down her face. “We have to be… realistic about this. It’s going to happen, and whenever it does, they should all be prepared for it.”

 “As prepared as someone can be for this sort of thing,” Brian sighed.

 “Aye, as much as we can be.” Betsy took a shuddering breath. “So, we’ll be honest with, tell them as much as we can, as much as we know.”

 “Alright, if that’s what you want to do,” Brian agreed. After a moment, he asked, “You want me to call Bifur to ask him to be over here in a couple hours?”

 “If you would?”

 Brian grabbed his phone and went downstairs to get a bottle of water, calling his nephew as he did so. He kept his voice calm and even, just telling him that they had a family announcement. No sense in distressing him yet. At the affirmation that he could be here, Brian hung up and went back upstairs.

 He found Betsy curled up on her side, sobbing into her arms. He quickly set the water and phone down on the bed and wrapped her in his arms. “Betsy-“

 “I don’t want to talk right now,” she interrupted, voice muffled. “Just… hold me?”

 Brian lowered his nose to his wife’s hair. He bit back a sob of his own as tears leaked from his eyes, to drip down into the dark hair below. “Aye, I’ll hold you… I love you…”

*

The family gathered that evening at the kitchen table. Bifur and Peg looked worried, the younger boys merely curious. Family meetings were rare and usually serious.

Brian was holding Betsy’s hand. His eyes were bright, but Betsy looked eerily calm. That, more than anything, worried Bofur.

Once they were all settled, Betsy cleared her throat. “Well,” she said. “I saw a doctor today.” Her hand shook a bit, but her voice was steady. “He told me what’s wrong.”

“And?” Peg asked, her voice fearful.

“Early onset Alzheimer’s.” She pronounced the words carefully, like she had been practicing. “They gave me four to eight years.”

There was silence for a moment before Bofur jumped up. “Four to eight years?” he repeated. “That little?”

Betsy looked at her son. “There’s no use denying it,” she said.

“How can you be so calm?” Bofur demanded. “You’re dying and you’re just saying it like you’re going on vacation!”

“Bofur,” Brian said, his voice firm. “You need to calm down.”

Bofur took a breath, but then Bifur caught his hand. “ _Calm yourself, little one,_ ” Bifur murmured in Gaelic.

“That’s what I was told,” Betsy continued. “It’s going to happen, so there’s no use denying it or beating around the bush.”

Bombur stared at his mother, his eyes full of tears. “What’s going to happen to you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Well,” Betsy said, trying to keep her voice calm. “I’ll lose more of my memory, then the rest of my mind will follow. I…I don’t know too many details, really…the doctor gave us some brochures.” She swallowed. “I…I don’t want to overburden any of you, but…”

“Don’t even think about that,” Peg interrupted. “We’ll look after you, lass. You don’t have to worry about us.”

Betsy nodded and then the tears started. Brian was the first to move, pulling her into a hug. Then her sons moved around the table, crowding in, all crying, Peg and Bifur close behind.

After a while, though, they broke up. Betsy held onto her sons for another moment before pulling away. “Don’t be sad for me, boys,” she said. “It will be all right.”

Bofur managed to nod. Bombur couldn’t, still crying.

“Go on, now,” Betsy said. “Go outside…take time to be sad now.”

Bofur hesitated before he turned and dashed out the door. Bombur hugged his mother once more before he left as well.

Bifur stood by his mother for a moment. “Do you need…?”

“Bifur, could you come to the grocery store with me?” Brian asked suddenly. “We hadn’t grabbed anything for dinner.”

Bifur glanced at his mother, who nodded pointedly, before he followed Brian out of the house.

As soon as the door closed, Peg turned to her sister, her face crumpling into tears. “I can’t protect you from this,” she sobbed.

“I know,” Betsy said. “You’ve tried so hard all these years…you’ve been good to me, Peg. This isn’t your fault.”

“You weren’t supposed to die before me,” Peg said. “I was supposed to go first…in a blaze of glory, for our country…”

“We’re old, Peg,” Betsy said. “Glory is for the young, a violent, unpredictable thing. This…at least I know how it will be.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Betsy embraced her sister. “We can’t choose how it’s supposed to be.”

*

Brian came to a stop down the street and around the corner from the house, and turned off the car ignition. He let out a long breath and leaned back, covering his face with his hands. Bifur stared out the passenger window for a moment, turning to his uncle when the other man asked, “So, what do you make of this?”

 “I… I don’t…” Bifur swallowed. “Aunt Betsy… she’s been in my life, and been close, from the start.”

 Brian let out a little chuckle. “You were around for a few years before she and I met.”

 Bifur smiled sadly. “But as hard to imagine as this is for me… Bofur and Bombur…”

 “Yes, well… we thought it would be better to honest with them. Have them understand before she… before it gets too bad.”

 “Aye, I’m not disagreeing on that. I mean that… it’s good to know what’s going to happen. But also… it’s going to be a process of it slowly getting worse. It’s going to be hanging over us, until…”

 “Yeah…” Brian suddenly pitched forward to rest his forehead on the steering wheel. “I should’ve insisted she go in sooner. I don’t know if the doctors could’ve done anything, but maybe they could’ve if they caught it early enough.”

 “Hey, it’s not your fault,” Bifur quickly assured.

 The tears started flowing from the older man. “She’s going to slip away. And there’s… there’s not a damn thing I can do about it, that we can do about it.” He took a shuddering breath. “Unless there’s some miracle cure within the next few years, we’re going to… we’re going to lose her.”

 Bifur bit his quivering lip. “Is there anything I can do?”

 Brian turned and saw the tears shining in his nephew’s eyes. He let out a grunting snort, and turned away to stare down at his feet, unable to do any more talking.

 Bifur placed his hand on Brian’s, and leaned in to lay his head on the other’s shoulder. He was unable to hold back his own tears now.

*

Bofur ran to find Nori. He knew that his best friend was grounded, but he also knew that Eileen would never let him cry for too long.

Sure enough, as soon as Eileen saw his tear-streaked face, she called for Nori and then tried to look like she wasn’t listening when Bofur told Nori what had happened.

Once Bofur had stopped crying, Eileen turned away from the kitchen counter. “Oh, Bofur,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

He nodded, still sniffing a bit. Eileen went into another room and returned a few minutes later with a few bills in her hand.

“Here,” she said. “You two take this and go get some ice cream.”

“But…” Nori started.

“Emergency,” Eileen said pointedly. Nori nodded and accepted the money.

“Come on, Bof,” he said. He gently pulled Bofur out the door.

They didn’t talk much as they walked. Nori didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do for his friend. He’d seen Fili and Kili after their father had died, sure, but that had been sudden, unexpected and quick. They didn’t have warning. This…this was different.

They reached the ice cream parlor. Nori left Bofur sitting in a booth while he bought ice cream for them both. He brought the bowls back and they ate in silence.

“She seems fine,” Bofur said suddenly. “Like…okay, she’s absent-minded, but she’s always been that way, it’s not like…she’s not crazy.”

“No,” Nori agreed. “I’ve never thought so.”

“She doesn’t look like someone who’s going to die,” Bofur said. “She just doesn’t. It’s not like…like cancer or something, where you can tell. She’s just gonna…fade away. Her brain’s just shutting down slowly. That’s not…” He struggled for a moment to find words. “It wasn’t supposed to happen now,” he said.

Nori swallowed. “Well…you’ve still got time with her,” he said. “And you can make it the best time she’s ever had, yeah?”

Bofur shrugged. “Maybe,” he said. “While she still remembers who I am.” He stared at his mint chocolate chip ice cream moodily. “I just…why us?”

“I don’t know,” Nori said. “But…I’ll do what I can for you. Promise.”

Bofur glanced up. “Thanks,” he said.

*

Bombur hadn’t exactly made a plan for where he was going when he left the house. He just knew he needed to get out.

He found himself, as he often did when things were bad, wandering over to the Farin’s backyard, where he could usually find Gimli getting into trouble, and nothing cheered him up quite like Gimli.

Indeed, it was only a few minutes before he heard shouting and laughter from around the back of the house. He wandered over and found Gimli and Kili, hard at work constructing some sort of fort from branches and logs.

“Hey, Bombur!” Kili called, waving him over. “Come play!”

Bombur wandered over, but his dour mood must have showed on his face. Gimli frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you sad?”

“Yeah,” Bombur said.

“What happened?” Kili demanded, abandoning his sticks and going over to him.

“My mama’s sick,” Bombur said. “She’s really sick and she’s gonna d-die.” He started crying again.

Kili and Gimli glanced at each other before Gimli moved over. “You want a hug?” he asked.

Bombur nodded and Gimli latched himself around Bombur’s middle. Bombur clumsily petted Gimli’s bright red hair, crying too hard for one little boy, but Gimli didn’t seem to mind.

Finally, when Bombur had worn himself out, Kili spoke again. “We should go inside,” he said. “Mama says that after you cry you’re supposed to drink water.”

“And my mama says that when you’re sad you’re supposed to put on the radio and eat as much sugar as possible,” Gimli said. “Though Daddy doesn’t agree with her, but Mama’s always right, right?”

“Yeah!” Kili said. “Your mama’s always right about stuff.” He grabbed Bombur’s hand and pulled him up toward the house. Gimli held the other hand as they headed inside.

Gloin glanced up from where he was working. “Everything all right, boys?”

Bombur shook his head. “My ma…”

Gloin studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Water first,” he said. “Then whatever else you need. Mind if I put on the radio?”

Bombur shook his head and followed the other boys into the kitchen. Once they were all seated at the table with cups of water, the radio came on. A beautiful female voice was singing.

_Few remember_

_The world that was,_

_And the world that will be._

_Few remember._

_These things are lost,_

_Should not have been seen…_

Bombur listened, piano and voice, and he started crying again. He glanced up and saw a tear sliding down Kili’s cheek as well. They listened in silence until the song ended and the announcer came on.

“That was Galadriel Lorien with her new song, ‘Few Remember.’ Now, a bit of a throwback for you, here’s Thranduil Greenleaf with ‘Get Off My Throne.’”

*

“I heard about your sister.” Dis’s voice was gentle.

Peg glanced up from where she was keying in her code. “How?”

“Well, Bofur told Nori and Eileen heard and…” Dis at least had the decency to blush. “My point is, can I help?”

Peg shrugged. “Not unless you can miraculously cure a disease that doctors haven’t found a treatment for.”

“Peg…” Dis took several deep breaths. “Your family has done so much for us…I can’t ever repay you, but…”

“Thank you,” Peg said. “But…I don’t think you can fix this one.”

Dis put down her purse and went to hug her friend. “We’ll be there, whatever you need. So…don’t be all proud and Irish, okay? Let me know when you need something.”

Peg clung to Dis for a moment. “You’re a good lass, Mrs. Durin,” she said. “I mean it…and I…I won’t hesitate to call. I promise.”


	36. Poetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is acting strange, and Fili wants to learn why.

Kili was acting strange. God only knew that Fili was caught up in his own problems, but that was not going to stop him from noticing when his brother’s behavior changed.

Growing up, the two had had no secrets from each other. From their parents and the other boys, sure, but never each other. Fili would not ever hide anything from Kili, and Kili could not hide anything from him.

So when Kili started spending more and more hours locked in the computer room, Fili knew to worry. It wasn’t like his brother not to be in the thick of everything, but when Fili got home from the auto shop, he found Kili in a corner chair, scribbling in a notebook.

“What you working on?” Fili asked as he headed to the computer. He had a report to type by tomorrow that he’d barely started on.

“Nothing,” Kili mumbled, curling up further and drawing the book into his chest. Fili wanted to push, but decided his paper was more important right then. Kili would talk when he was ready.

*

“Kili!” Ori looked a bit too excited, though he recovered before devolving into an asthma attack.

Kili jumped about a foot in the air when Ori came barging into the house and hastily shoved the notebook he was writing in under the couch. “Jeez, Ori, what’s the matter?”

“It’s nice outside and you promised to come to the park today!” Ori whined.

“Right,” Kili said. “Let me get my jacket.” He got up and headed for the closet.

Ori shifted a bit before reaching down to pick up the notebook. He set it on the coffee table.

Kili came back in. “Ori!” he snapped when the saw the notebook.

“I didn’t look!” Ori said hastily. “Just picked it up so you wouldn’t forget it was there!”

Kili snatched up the notebook and headed down the hall to put it in his room. He returned a few minutes later. “Let’s go,” he said, heading for the door.

“What’s so important in that, anyway?” Ori asked as they walked to the park.

“None of your business,” Kili snapped, and that was the end of it.

*

“Schoolwork?”  Dis asked when she came home and saw Kili sitting on the couch, scribbling in a notebook.

Kili hastily closed it. “No,” he said. “Just...something else.”

Dis raised her eyebrows a bit. “Thorin and I used to keep notebooks,” she said. “His were all songs he was writing; mine were more general scribble pads.”

“Like a diary?” Kili asked.

“Sort of,” Dis said. “I didn’t record my day-to-day life, but I did write some rants on other people. More of a Harriet the Spy sort of thing.”

“Not spying,” Kili mumbled. He peeked up shyly. “Does Uncle Thorin still have his notebooks?”

“You’d have to ask him,” Dis said. “And don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to share; I took a look in some of them when I was a kid and what he had was pretty cringe-worthy.”

*

Fili knew better than to look through his brother’s things without permission. Really, he did. But Kili had been so distant and moody lately and even though Fili could hear the word “hypocrite” pounding in his brain, he still wanted to fix it.

So when Kili was at a late-evening concert rehearsal early that spring, Fili did what he had never done before and went to Kili’s side of their bedroom without being invited. Kili’s side of the room was always a bit of an organized chaos, so it took a little while for Fili to find the notebooks that Kili had been scribbling in and refusing to show anyone for months.

After several minutes of searching, Fili located them hidden in the bottom of one of Kili’s dresser drawers. He picked up the first one and opened it to the first page.

_I search high,_

_I search low._

_I can’t find you,_

_And I don’t know._

_What to do,_

_Or where to find_

_Someone who_

_Left me behind._

Fili stared at the page. Kili was writing poetry? He’d never really pegged his brother as the type. But why was he hiding that? It wasn’t anything shameful, and for his age, it wasn’t that bad. Besides, Thorin wrote poetry, in a way, and their mother wrote poetry, though she didn’t usually advertise it.

He flipped through the pages, reading the occasional entry. A few of the poems were bad, but as he went further, they improved. Some of the longer ones brought music into Fili’s head and he hummed out tunes to match his brother’s words.

Unfortunately, he got so caught up in what he was doing that he didn’t hear the door open until Kili yelped.

“What are you doing?” Kili demanded, dashing over to snatch the notebook out of Fili’s hand.

Fili felt himself go red. He’d never made Kili this angry before. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was...worried. You’ve never hidden anything before.”

“I don’t have to share everything with you,” Kili snapped. “And these are private! I thought you knew better!”

“I’m sorry,” Fili repeated. “Really.” He hesitated a minute. “Why were you hiding them?” he asked.

Kili slumped. “Cause they’re dumb,” he said. “And guys my age don’t write poetry. I didn’t want you to think I was...you know.”

“Uncle Thorin writes poems,” Fili pointed out.

“Uncle Thorin writes songs,” Kili corrected.

“It’s the same thing. Some of the stuff in there could be songs.”

Kili looked down. “I can’t come up with music for them.”

“I did,” Fili said. “Like that last one? On the Edge? I could hear it playing in my head.”

Kili glanced back up. “You could?” he asked. He hesitated, then held out the notebook. “Sing it for me?”

Fili took the notebook and opened it to the right page.

_I stand on the railing,_

_My feet are tipping over._

_I’m going to fall_

_And I don’t think I want to._

_The water is rising,_

_I’m going to sink._

_I’m on the edge,_

_And I can’t stop to think…_

*

“Uncle?”

“Hmm?” Thorin didn’t even look up from the engine he was currently dismantling. Fili wasn’t sure if that needed to be done, but Thorin had been in a bad mood all week and taking things apart was usually the best way to deal with that.

“How do you write your own songs?”

Thorin blinked, looking confused at the question. “Um...I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “It just sort of...happens, I guess. You come up with some words, you hear a tune in your head. Why?”

“Kili wrote some poems and I heard music in my head, like you said, but I don’t know how to put the music to my guitar.”

Thorin nodded slowly. “Well, when we’re finished up here, I can help,” he said. “If Kili doesn’t mind. I know he guards that poetry with his life.”

Fili stared at Thorin, feeling a little bit betrayed. “You knew?” he asked.

“I guessed,” Thorin said. “I was the same way at his age. Poetry was for girls and mine were bad anyway.”

“Right,” FIli muttered. “I don’t think he’ll mind, though.”

*

Kili sat down next to Fili, feeling very nervous. He had just started on guitar, and the idea of singing their own song for Thorin was very nerve-racking.

Thorin sat in his chair across from them as Fili sang through the song. He listened silently, nodding at certain places but not speaking. When Fili finished, Thorin thought for a moment.

“I think it starts on an F-chord,” he said. “Then moves to an A...here, sing it again.” He picked up his guitar and started playing.

Kili copied the chords into his notebook. They had to stop and start a few times, with both Thorin and Fili suggesting changes to the melody or lyrics. As they worked, Kili noticed the crease in his uncle’s brow smooth out.

Maybe he should share poems more often. Not with everyone, but Thorin and Fili. Yes, that would be okay.


	37. New Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The autoshop changes hands. Dwalin is healing.

Thorin went into the autoshop one morning to find Marnie sitting at the desk, looking a bit shocked.

“What’s up?” Thorin asked as he went to look at the orders for the day.

“Mr. Blue’s retiring,” Marnie said. “And he said he wants to leave the shop to me.”

Thorin blinked. “Oh,” he said. “Congratulations.” He frowned. “You don’t look happy about it.”

“What do I know about running a business?” Marnie asked. “I fix cars. That’s all I do. I don’t know how to manage people or keep accounts or set prices or any of that.”

“You have a small child who snaps-to whenever you say anything, a husband who manages my sorry finances and you’ve been doing this job for over a decade. I think you can handle it.” He went over and looked over her shoulder. “Besides, it’s not happening right away, is it?”

“Couple months,” Marnie said. “But it’s a hell of a business he’s handing me. Big dealerships and commercial mechanics are taking most of the customers, we’re down to two and a half workers since Dwalin still can’t come back, and I’m not pretty enough anymore to get the young men to come in. Face it, Thorin, we’re kind of screwed if anything goes wrong in the next few years.”

“We’ll manage,” Thorin said. “We have a reputation so people keep coming, and Fili’s learning pretty quickly. We could probably have him doing major repairs on his own in the next year or so.”

“He’s also fourteen years old,” Marnie pointed out. “Bit young to be an official employee and I’d feel terrible not paying him for that sort of work.”

“Call it an apprenticeship,” Thorin said. “His pay is all the life-long skills he’ll be learning for when he’s old enough to be officially employed...say, when he’s sixteen or so.”

“That still leaves us with just two full-time mechanics,” Marnie said. “And if I have to run the place as well, that means one and two-halves that don’t quite equal a whole.”

“Dwalin’s making progress,” Thorin said. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Or you could advertise and see if you can get new employees.”

“I suppose,” Marnie said.

“Don’t worry,” Thorin said. “We’ll manage, same as we always do.”

*

Dwalin’s fingers drummed restlessly on the table. He was listening to Balin work with Nori on the bass, a task designed to hopefully keep the boy out of trouble that was almost working, and it was frustrating to not participate.

Ori looked up from his book. “You okay?” he asked. How did the child always know when to ask that?

“I’m fine,” Dwalin muttered. “How’s your book?”

“Long,” Ori said. “And kind of hard to read. Harry’s really whiny in this one.”

Dwalin looked over at the page. There certainly seemed to be a lot of capslock paragraphs. “Sorry about that, lad,” he said. “I know you liked the other ones.”

“Well, there’s a new one out this summer,” Ori said. “Maybe that one will be better.”

“I certainly hope so,” Dwalin said. He hummed a bit as he heard Nori laboring over bass chords. “You taken up an instrument yet, lad?”

“Bifur taught me some piano,” Ori said. “But I haven’t been practicing as much lately. Don’t think I have the ear for it like Nori does.”

“A good ear will only get you so far,” Dwalin said. “Heck, my brother calls me tone-deaf all the time and I was still one of the most successful musicians in the world at one time.”

“You played drums, didn’t you?” Ori asked. “Daddy said something about it.”

“Yeah,” Dwalin said. “Don’t need an ear to play drums, just gotta know how to count.”

Ori glanced up shyly. “Can you show me?” he asked.

Dwalin blinked. “Well...I don’t know,” he said. “My hand the way it is…”

“It’s gotten better,” Ori pointed out. “You said so. And you don’t know if you don’t try.”

Dwalin nodded. “Well,” he said. “Let’s see what we can do.”

*

“Ready for a new lesson, Fili?"

Fili looked up from where he was changing some old lady’s oil. “Um...I guess?” he said tentatively.

“Good.” Thorin managed a smile, which was actually kind of weird. “We’re going to dismantle an engine today.”

Fili blinked. “But...I thought you wouldn’t show me that until I was older?”

Thorin shrugged. “We’re short-staffed and you’ve done really well so far. I think you can start learning more advanced work.”

“Well...okay,” Fili said, feeling a bit nervous. “Does Mr. Blue mind?”

“No,” Thorin said. “And Mr. Blue is retiring at the end of the month and Marnie’s taking over management, and she’ll take whatever help she can get, so that’s you.”

“Okay,” Fili said. “Just let me finish this up first.”

*

Fili collapsed on the couch, glad that Thorin and Balin and Dwalin didn’t care about motor oil on the furniture. It had been a long, dirty, exhausting but very satisfying day.

Dwalin looked up from his newspaper. “Rough day?”

“Not too bad,” Fili said. “Lot of stuff to remember and some heavy lifting, but...it’s good, you know?”

“Yeah,” Dwalin said. “I know.” He was quiet for a minute. “Doctors say I should be able to go back in a week or two.”

“Good,” Fili said. “They’ve missed you.” He smiled a little. “I’ve missed you.”

“You never worked with me,” Dwalin pointed out.

“No, but that’s the point, isn’t it?” Fili asked. “When I was a little kid, I always thought that I’d grow up to work in the shop with you and Uncle and Marnie and we’d build it into a bigger business and send Kili to college so that Dad could be proud of us both and…” He broke off, realizing that he was getting into some very soppy territory and that was not something he should do with Dwalin. “Well...you were supposed to be there too.”

Dwalin looked at Fili for a long moment. Fili held his breath, unsure of whether Dwalin was going to laugh at him or not.

The moment was broken when the door opened and Balin came in, looking rather pleased. “Good evening,” he called.

Dwalin got up and walked to his brother. Before Balin could react, Dwalin threw his arms around him and lifted him up into the air.

Balin gasped a bit before hugging Dwalin back. “What was that for?” he asked once he was back on his feet.

Dwalin grinned. “To prove I could.”

*

“Right, I think I’ve got this figured out,” Marnie announced happily as she whirled into the shop.

Thorin and Dwalin looked up from their coffee. “Oh?” Dwalin asked politely.

“I’ll be hiring a few more,” Marnie said. “Just one or two, give you two a break and time to train Fili. We’ll be able to finance it well enough, thanks to my husband, and hopefully we won’t want for customers.”

“We never have,” Thorin pointed out.

“Well, no, but since we’ve been taking longer with a lack of help it’s been a bit strained,” Marnie said. “Anyway, here are the orders for the day and I think we’ll all be pretty busy...change in weather and all.”

“Right.” Dwalin knocked back the rest of his coffee. “Fili coming in later?”

“He’ll be here at 3:30,” Thorin said. “Maybe you should show him a few things.

Dwalin grinned. “Maybe I should.”


	38. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Urs take a little time off.

_2006_

“So why do you have an entire month blacked out on the schedule?” Dis asked Peg as she carried a tray of plates into the kitchen.

“Because we’re going on vacation,” Peg answered. “Is that a crime?”

“No,” Dis said. “Just curious.” She frowned a bit. “Why are you so defensive?”

Peg sighed. “Sorry, love,” she said. “Just a bit stressful, getting everyone time off and arranging it all.”

“No one helping?”

“Who? Bifur doesn’t live with us and Brian works and the lads are young and...well, anyway, we haven’t left Minnesota in over a decade and I figured it was time.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Northern California. Redwood Forest. Sounded nice on the Internet.”

“Very nice,” Dis said. “I know I loved San Francisco, you should take a day and go down.”

“We might,” Peg said. “But we mostly just need to de-stress a bit. All of us.”

“That’s true.” Dis hesitated. “How is Betsy? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Peg shrugged. “She’s doing as well as can be expected,” she said. “Some days, I even forget that anything’s wrong. Figured it’d be best to take a vacation now, rather than...later.”

Dis nodded. “Well, let me know if you need anything.”

*

“I seriously don’t get why we’re going on vacation,” Bofur grumbled to his cousin.

Bifur raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean…” Bofur trailed off. “It just feels weird, you know, with everything.”

“And that’s exactly why we’re going on vacation,” Bifur said. “Ma wants to be normal and happy and this is what she came up with, so you’d better just suck it up and enjoy it.”

“I just…” Bofur took a breath, trying to sort out his confused thoughts. “It does sound nice,” he finally admitted. “And I’ve always wanted to go on more adventures. But...but Aunt Peg’s doing this for Ma, and she’s not even going to remember it in a few years and I feel guilty, but I don’t really want to go because I’m always worried about her and I don’t want to spend all that time worrying.”

Bifur nodded. “I understand,” he said. “I really do. But this is for her, and for my ma, and we’ll all be there so if anything happens it won’t be yours to worry about. The best thing you can do to help her right now is to not worry, and to come and enjoy yourself. And even if she doesn’t remember in a few years, you will, and it will be valuable to you.”

“Right,” Bofur said. “You’re right.”

*

It was so strange to be leaving Minnesota, even for a short while. In ten years, it seemed that no one had ever even considered the possibility of a vacation, and why would they? The adults all worked and they had no family in America to visit, and they certainly weren’t going back to Ireland any time soon.

Bombur was way too excited, if he was honest with himself. He couldn’t remember much about Ireland, and he certainly didn’t remember the journey to leave, so as far as he was concerned, this was the first real trip he was getting.

He only confided this to Kili and Gimli, since he was all too aware of how everyone else in his family was on edge and trying to pretend to be normal. “I think it’s going to be good,” Bombur said.

“I hope so,” Kili said. “You guys deserve to be happy for a bit.” He grinned. “Send postcards, though.”

“What is this, the dark ages?” Bombur asked. “Who mails anything anymore?”

“I like getting mail,” Gimli said. “Mama and Daddy get mail and they don’t like it, but I like it when my gran writes to me.” He frowned. “I don’t know why grown-ups don’t like getting mail.”

“The mail grown-ups get is called bills,” Kili said. “My mama gets them too and she hates them.”

“Anyway,” Bombur said, trying not to sound impatient. “I’ll send postcards if you want. And Ma got me my own camera so I can take pictures!” He grinned wider and pulled it out of his bag. “And it’s a real digital camera, not just one of those little disposable things.”

“Wow!” Gimli’s smile was wide and infectious. “That’s amazing! My mama wouldn’t let me anywhere near something like that!”

“Don’t know why, your mama can fix anything you break,” Kili pointed out. “When are you leaving, Bom?”

“Beginning of June, and we’re spending a whole month out there.” Bombur couldn’t stop smiling even though it felt silly. “So Kili, make sure our little brother is taken care of.” He reached over a ruffled Gimli’s hair affectionately.

“Of course,” Kili said. “We’ll get into all the trouble and make you clean up when you get back.”

Bombur laughed and swatted at him. “Then you can starve for two months.”

*

It was a good thing Bombur was in such a good mood because Bofur was very, very annoyed at everything the morning they left, probably because Bifur came in to wake him at six in the morning.

His mood did not improve when he entered the kitchen and saw his mother drinking her morning coffee like it was just a normal day.

Bifur sighed and clicked his tongue at her. “Get dressed, Aunt Betsy,” he said patiently. “We have to leave soon.”

Betsy blinked. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“We’re going to California,” Bifur said. “For a vacation.”

“Now?” Betsy asked. “But I have to pack, and give the keys to Mrs. Donahue…”

“It’s already taken care of,” Bifur explained, his voice still patient but starting to sound a bit condescending. Bofur hated it, people talking to his mother like she was a child, but it seemed to happen more and more now. “Eileen Scriver has the key and she’s going to look after things for us, your bag is packed and now you need to get dressed because our flight out is at ten and they want you there a few hours early for security.”

Betsy’s brow furrowed, but then she stood up. “Right,” she said. “Thanks, Cathair.” She turned and headed upstairs.

Bifur’s jaw tightened a bit, but then he glanced at Bofur. “Best have breakfast,” he said. “It’s going to be a long day.”

“It’s going to be a bad day,” Bofur muttered as he sat down. “She’s regressed again, hasn’t she?”

“Probably just the early morning,” Bifur said. “She’ll probably pull it together as the day goes on.”

“I hope so,” Bofur muttered.

Peg appeared in the kitchen, dressed and obviously vibrating to leave. “Everything in order?” she asked as she went to get coffee.

“She mistook me for Dad again,” Bifur said.

Peg pursed her lips. “It happens,” she said. “Come on, it will all be fine. Promise."

*

The airport was bad, because security, though they got through it all right. No random searches anyway.

The flight was pretty normal, fairly boring. Bofur slept through most of it, needing to save his energy and content to let his father handle his mother. It was slightly marred because Bombur had the window seat and kept nudging Bofur away to look at something.

“I never knew how small it all looks from up here,” Bombur said reverently.

“It’s because we’re far away,” Bofur said.

“But it’s so beautiful,” Bombur said. “This whole country...look at that!” He pointed out toward what looked like every other field they had passed.

“It’s a field,” Bofur said.

“But you don’t get to see it from up here often,” Bombur said. “Is anywhere else on earth that green?”

Bifur, in the aisle seat, laughed. “Ireland is much greener,” he said. “That’s nice enough, but it’s nothing compared to home.”

“But it’s beautiful, Bif,” Bombur said. “There’s so much of it to see!” He grinned. “Someday, I’m going to see all of it.”

Bifur reached across Bofur to ruffle Bombur’s hair. “Aye, lad, that you will.”

*

It was only once they had landed in San Francisco and made it up to the cabin they had rented for the month (Bofur had groaned a little upon hearing that, because really, wasn’t that a bit excessive?) that Bofur truly began to relax.

The truth was, California was beautiful--at least, this part of it was. Dis had mentioned that the Northern part was much nicer than the south. Less traffic, more nature. And the forests were...well, it was rather fantastic.

Bofur had never known that trees could be so big, or so numerous. He had never realized that there could be quite so much nature in one place, period--Saint Paul had nature, sure, but it was mostly confined to farmland, and then only when you got out of the city. Out here, though, even with other tourists around, it was different. Quiet, but somehow more alive than anything Bofur had ever encountered. He felt more at peace than ever.

It was only the third morning when Bofur woke at four a.m., feeling perfectly rested and at ease. He glanced across the room at where Bombur and Bifur still slept before he quietly got out of bed. He dressed as quietly as possible, not waking either. It was a quick rummage through his backpack before he came up with the wooden flute he’d bought at the Irish fair so many years ago--no, not so many years, but it seemed a lifetime had passed since then. Once he had it, he crept out of the room and out the front door.

He walked along one of the trails for a while before he was certain he was out of earshot of the campsite. Once he was sure he was alone, he sat down on a fallen tree and began to play. He didn’t really have a melody in mind, though he had learned quite a bit about the flute in the intervening years. He just played whatever came to mind, matching the early-morning sounds of the forest as best as he could, imitating bird calls and the chirps of insects, keeping rhythm with the breeze and playing a counterpoint to the rustle of the trees. There wasn’t much of a tune, but that was all right. Nature didn’t have a tune, at least not in the way humans thought about melody. Bofur didn’t worry about it. This wasn’t for him. This was for the forest.

Presently, he heard footsteps coming down the path he just took. He hesitated, then kept playing. If anyone had a problem, they could just take it somewhere else.

Bofur was a bit surprised to see his mother come down the path. He raised an eyebrow at her, but didn’t stop. She smiled at him and sat down on the tree next to him. She didn’t say anything, just closed her eyes and listed to the song of the woods.

Finally, Bofur knew it was coming to an end. He played a few more notes and put his flute down. “Morning, Ma,” he said.

“Morning, Bofur,” she said. “That was lovely, what you were playing. Don’t think I’ve heard it before.”

Bofur shrugged, grinning a bit. “Just whatever I heard out here,” he said. “Seemed right to accompany them, rather than try to drown them out.”

“Aye,” Betsy said, as though she understood what he was saying. “It sounded right.” She looked out through the trees. “It’s nice out here, isn’t it?” she asked suddenly.

“Yeah,” Bofur said. “I could spend a lifetime out here.”

“So could I.” Betsy hugged her knees, blinking back tears. “I feel...normal. Like nothing is wrong while I’m here.”

Bofur hesitated, then put his arm around her. “Well,” he said. “It’s a vacation. Let’s just enjoy it, yeah?”

She leaned on him. “Yeah,” she said. “You’re a good boy, Bof. Please don’t forget.”

*

The month was spent in idleness for the most part. For the Mattocks/Smith family, though, that was a pretty good deal.

“Don’t remember a day in my life when I wasn’t working,” Brian said ruefully. “Pretty much expected of you in Ireland, and even more in America. Anyone can be anything, sure, but you’d better be prepared not to have free time very often.”

“Ought to be amended,” Betsy commented, a bit of her old wit shining through. “Anyone can be anything as long as he’s already something.” She laughed a bit.

“Aye, suppose that’s true,” Brian said. “But it’s better, isn’t it?”

“Aye,” Betsy said. “It’s much better.” She smiled. “I’ve got a husband and my boys, my sister and my nephew and my friends and neighbors...we’ve got so much more than we had, don’t we?” She frowned a little anxiously. “I think that’s right.”

“That’s right, lass,” Brian said. “We’re doing good...you’re doing perfect.”

Bofur pretended he hadn’t heard that conversation.

*

“Brian take Bifur and Bofur out for early-morning exploring?” Peg asked as she came from the cabin and joined her sister on the porch.

“Aye, a couple hours ago.” Betsy gestured for Peg to sit in front of her, and held up her haircomb.

Peg smiled and sat on the ground in front of Betsy. Betsy did a quick comb-through to get rid of any snags, and started separating her sister’s hair into strands to braid. Peg closed her eyes and let her work, her hair being done into thin braids.

Bombur came out to join them a few minutes later, camera in hand and eager to show the pictures he had taken yesterday.

“Surprised you didn’t go with them this morning,” Betsy commented.

“Stayed up too late last night to get up,” Bombur replied. “It’s okay, because I can talk with you.”

Soon after Betsy had finished braiding Peg’s hair, and the two switched places so Peg could do the same to Betsy’s, the other half of their family came back.

Peg looked up at Bombur’s and Betsy’s half-stifled giggles. Coming up the trail was Brian, leading the two worse-for-the-wear younger men. Both had mud streaked down their faces, arms, and clothes. Bofur’s hair was messy with a few bits of dried leaves sticking out, but otherwise fine. Bifur’s hair was another story, wild and undone from its usual ponytail with bits of leaves and sticks.

“What happened?” Betsy asked first when they arrived, unable to hold in her laughter.

Brian explained, “They forgot it rained last night, and got a little adventurous.”

“Don’t you-“ Bofur started when he saw his brother raised his camera. Bombur snapped a couple pictures with a grin. Bofur sighed,” You better not show anyone at home.”

Bombur laughed again. “I don’t know if I can make that promise.”

Peg had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. “Not hurt or anything?”

“Just their dignity,” Brian answered.

Bifur pulled another dried leaf stem from his hair. “This is going to take hours.”

“Wash the mud off your face and arms, get changed, and we’ll start with getting everything from your hair,” Betsy told the two muddied people.

Bombur took a few more photos as they went inside. Bofur called back, “I mean it, Bom!”

Bombur responded, “Oh come on, the other guys would love to see this.”

*

Two weeks in, Bofur was meandering through the woods--about the only thing there was to do, when he thought about it, though that wasn’t a bad thing--when he came across Bifur, in the middle of the forest, his knife moving rapidly.

“What are you making, Bif?” Bofur asked.

“Well,” Bifur said. “I heard you begging Uncle for permission to get your ear pierced when we get back to Saint Paul...so I figured I’d make you something.”

Bofur leaned over to see. “Is that…?”

Bifur grinned. “I was inspired,” he said. “You’ve always love this…” He pulled at his fang-decorated hair tie. “...So I figured...what else should you have?”

Bofur smiled, more than he had in a long time. “I love it,” he said.

“Not finished yet,” Bifur said. “Give us a few hours and another word with Uncle and when we get home, you’ll have your earring.”

Bofur sat down and hugged his cousin. “Thanks, Bif.”

Bifur hugged him back, careful to keep the knife away from him. “Of course, Bof.”

*

_Dear Gimli,_

_You asked for postcards, so I’m writing them. At least those lessons in cursive will be useful, or you can ask Ori if you can’t read this._

_California is awesome. I’ve taken up most of my memory card, and we still have a whole week left! Bofur keeps asking how I can take hundreds of pictures of a forest, but there’s so much to see! It changes every day, practically every minute, though you have to really look to even notice._

_Ma’s doing much better here. I think the fresh air and change of scenery does her good. It gives her something to remember--something worth remembering. I hope that it will last, and if it doesn’t--well, I’ll have close to a thousand pictures to show her, and since a picture’s worth a thousand words, we’ll never run out of memories._

_I hope you’re having a good summer. We’re going to San Francisco tomorrow, so I’ll have even more pictures to show you when I get back!_

_Your big brother,_

_Bombur._

*

A light mist came up over the boulder as the waves crashed into it from below, and Bifur took a deep breath from his perch on top of it. He turned his head and spotted his mother on the beach below reading a book, his aunt and uncle strolling down the waterline with their bare feet in the water, and his cousins trying to make some kind of sand structure.

Yesterday in San Francisco had been nice, and this day on the coast just north of the city was just as much so. This vacation had been great for all of them so far, and they still had a week left. They had all needed it.

Bifur turned his attention back to the sea at another spray of mist. Quite peaceful.

A little while later, he heard someone coming up the back of the boulder, and turned to see who it was. Bombur smiled, and held up two wrapped ice cream bars.

“Bofur wanted to try to bury me in sand,” Bombur said as he handed Bifur one of the bars.

“So you got ice cream instead. Good choice.” Bifur glanced down to the beach and saw Bofur conversing with Peg, both of them also eating ice cream.

Bombur settled next to his cousin, leaning into his side. Both were content with simply watching the ocean.

*

Peg sat outside, drinking a cup of coffee and staring at nothing. Only a few days left before they would return to the city, to their jobs and doctors and school and activities, all the hustle and bustle of an average suburban life. Somehow, it sounds pretty nice right now.

She glanced up as Betsy came outside and sat down next to her, her own cup in her hand. “I’m going to miss this,” Betsy said.

“Aye, lass, you will,” Peg agreed. “But we all miss things.”

Betsy hummed. “You still think about him.”

“Course I do. You do it, too.”

“Hard not to. You two...well. You’ve always been there. Always given everything for me.”

“Naturally. You’re my baby sister.”

Betsy nudged her. “Not a baby,” she teased. “And not that much younger.”

“I think seven years is enough of a gap. And you backtalk me enough to hide your age.”

Betsy stuck her tongue out before they both collapsed into helpless giggles. They laughed for a moment before Betsy turned serious again.

“I wish I could go home,” she said. “Just once, while I have time.”

Peg forced herself to smile. “You’ve got plenty of time, lass. It’s not...we’re nowhere close to the end.  
Betsy didn’t say anything. She took another drink of coffee and watched the sun come up over the trees.


	39. Lady Gale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili falls in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, I had trouble finding a tech manual.

_2007_

“Hey, Marnie?”

“Yeah?” Marnie looked up from the engine she was repairing.

Fili shifted. “Um...so you know how way in the back there’s that tarp that’s obviously covering something?”

“Oh, that old thing,” Marnie said. “Yeah, she’s been there since...well, shit, before I’ve been here. Mr. Blue picked her up at salvage; I think he meant to rebuild her but never got around to it. Why?”

“Well...I had a quick look and, um...how much do you want for her?”

Marnie shrugged. “Far as I’m concerned, the price of parts. If you can fix her, you can keep her. You’ll have to pay for what you need, and it’ll have to be after hours, but otherwise, she’s all yours.”

Fili grinned. “Thanks, Marn!” He scampered back to the back of the shop. “She agreed,” he said to Thorin and Dwalin.

“Told you she would,” Dwalin said. “She’s been talking about getting rid of the poor thing since she got the shop. What’s she going for?”

“Price of parts and my own labor,” Fili said. “After hours.”

Thorin looked at him seriously. “It’s a big project,” he said. “It will take you months, maybe years to get her in the condition you want, and it’s not going to be cheap. And once you’ve got her fixed, she’ll require maintenance, which you’ll have to do yourself if you don’t want to go broke taking care of her. You understand?”

“Yes, Uncle,” Fili said. “I promise I’ll take good care of her.” He hesitated. “But...um...I’ll probably need a bit of help getting started.”

“Of course,” Thorin said. “We can start on it once we close up this evening, if you like. At least catalogue what she needs so we can pick up parts at the salvage yard when we go next week.” His face turned stern again. “But right now, I believe you promised to fix the brakes for Mr. Johnson.”

“Yes, Uncle,” Fili said and headed back to work.

*

It was an intolerably long two hours in Fili’s mind before the shop closed for the day and he finally, finally went over to the tarp and pulled it away to see...her.

She was a 1966 Pontiac Tempest, old and somewhat rusted but still in fairly good shape, at least on the outside. Fili ran his hand reverently over her door frame.

Thorin looked far less impressed. “Probably going to have to strip everything and start from scratch,” he grumbled as he went around to the front of the car.

“Well, let’s have a look,” Fili said. He went to the front and opened the trunk.

It did not take long for Fili to agree with Thorin. “Okay, yeah,” he said. “No one’s taken care of the poor girl.”

“And at her age, she’ll need a lot of taking care of,” Thorin said. “All right, grab a notebook and let’s start making a list of things we’ll need.”

*

“We’re going to start with the trim,” Thorin said. “Here’s a wrench--get going.”

Fili took the wrench and started dismantling the car, passing the small parts to Thorin as he went. It was hard work--several of the bolts and screws were rusted and impossible to move.

“Propane torch,” Thorin said. “We’ll get that done later. For now, get the ones you can.”

Fili nodded and continued. “This is going to take a while,” he said.

“Probably a day or two, yes,” Thorin said. “Since we’re working after hours. But you don’t want to have to replace trim later, so be careful with this.”

“I know,” Fili said. “This is already going to take all my savings for the next few years.”

“She worth it?”

“Yeah,” Fili said. “She’s totally worth it.”

“Good,” Thorin said. “Let me know when you’re ready to do the windows and I’ll help you.”

*

“Hey, Fi?”

“Hmm?” Fili barely looked up from his work. “Can you pass me that wrench, Kili?”

Kili grabbed it for him. “You gonna be here all weekend?”

“Probably,” Fili said. “At least most of it. Shop’s closed on Sundays and Marnie gave me a key so I can have the whole day for this. Why?”

Kili shrugged. “Just thought you might like to do something,” he said. “We don’t really spend any time together anymore. You’re always working or doing homework and I just...you know. I get bored.”

Fili paused. “You’ve got Ori and Gimli to play with,” he said.

Kili sighed impatiently. “Yeah, but they’re kids. They’re cool if you want to play dumb games, but not for just hanging out, you know?”

Fili thought for a moment. He had been spending a lot of time in the garage lately. “Tell you what,” he said. “I’ll come get some work done in the morning and then in the afternoon, we’ll play some Prince of Persia, okay?”

“Promise?”

Fili nodded. “Promise.”

And so they did. As they sat together that Sunday, Kili grinned. “You’re gonna let me drive her when she’s done, right?”

“You’re not old enough to drive, Ki,” Fili said.

“Will be, by the time you finish.”

“We’ll see,” Fili said. “But she’s my car. I don’t think I want anyone else to touch her.”

“Even Uncle?”

“Well…” Fili thought about that. “Maybe Uncle. In an emergency. Or Dwalin if it’s a really bad emergency. But no one else.”

Kili pouted. “You’re no fun,” he grumbled.

Fili only laughed. “When you build a car from the ground up, we’ll talk,” he said. “Until then, Lady Gale is for me.”

“Lady Gale?” Kili repeated.

Fili nodded. “That’s her name,” he said.

Kili stared for a moment before he shrugged and went back to the game.


	40. Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scriver family is thrown out of synch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: character death

 Ori stretched his arms over his head as he chattered excitedly to his parents about the movie they had just left the theater from. Lori and Eileen smiled and nodded and talked about their favorite parts and what they had liked.

 “Nori might be jealous he missed out,” Eileen commented.

 “Think he mentioned going with his friends a couple days from now. You know, he’s too old for it to be cool to go to movies with his parents,” Lori replied.

 Ori glanced out the window at the grey wintery evening with a smile. He looked forward to getting hot chocolate when they got home. He noticed they were nearing an intersection, and looked back up to the front. “Oh, what about the part when-“

 At the sound of a blaring car horn, Ori’s eyes went back to the window. A pair of oncoming headlights filled Ori’s vision. A second later pain blossomed in his side and chest in time with the crunch of metal and thick glass as another car smashed into them.

 The next thing Ori was aware of was that he was on his side across the seats, but upside-down. It took a few seconds to realize that the car itself was sideways, when he understood that outside the other window, pressed against the glass, was snow and dirt.

 He took a breath, and immediately cried out. His chest and side flared in agony. He couldn’t stop the rapid panicked breaths, and that only made it hurt more. Sharp pieces of glass pricked and scraped his face.

 “Ori?”

 His father’s voice and breaths sounded… wrong. Weak and struggling. And why wasn’t his mother saying anything?

 “Ori?”

 “…hurts…” was all the boy could manage to say.

 “Think… think about some… something else,” Lori advised, sucking in air sharply.

 Ori closed his eyes and tried to think about anything, but he couldn’t. Blood rushed to his head from being upside-down. Every breath hurt so much. The cold air from the shattered window made it worse. Sharp icy air in his damaged body.

 “Eileen?”

 Ori opened his eyes to see Lori’s arm reach up and across the space between the front seats and weakly shake Eileen’s shoulder. “Mama?” Ori tried to sit up but dropped back down from the pain.

 “Be… be still, Ori,” Lori said. “Don’t try to move.” His hand dropped back down, and with it came Eileen’s completely limp arm. “Eileen…” He let out a hard breath through his nose and pushed up off the steering wheel to fully turn around in his seat and look to his son. “You… you’ll be alright. I promise…”

 Ori found the idea hard to believe. Normally he would, but not with the blood covering half of his father’s face from a gash on his forehead. Not with the strained tone of the usually strong and assertive voice. Not with his mother not responding to either of them. Not when it was agony to do something as simple as breathing.

 Lori reached out to Ori, fingers managing to grab the smaller ones and hold on loosely.  “I promise…”

 Tears began to sting and fall from the shock and pain. “What about mama?”

 Lori didn’t answer. “You’ll be alright… I love you, okay? You and your brothers… I love you…” His eyes closed and his head lolled down over the headrest.

 “No!” Ori cried out. Lori’s fingers slipped through his, but Ori caught them and held on tighter than before. “Dad… it hurts… don’t fall asleep…”

 The final thing Ori was aware of was the piercing sound of approaching sirens.

 ********

 Dori’s phone started ringing on his coffee table. He sighed at whoever was interrupting his enjoyment of his favorite TV show. For a split second, he considered ignoring it, but decided to answer anyway.

 “Hello?”

 “Dori, its Oin. Listen, I’m at the hospital. ER duty.”

 Dori stood up. Oin would not make a social call from the hospital. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

 “They… they wheeled in Ori, Eileen, and your father a few minutes ago.”

 “Wheeled them in? What do you mean wheeled them in?”

 “From an ambulance.” Oin cleared his throat. “From what I understand, there was a car accident. I don’t know all the details, but you… you should come.”

 “Of course I will.” Dori had already turned off the TV and made for his keys, coat, and shoes. “I’ll get Nori on the way.”

 “Good man. Ask for me at the front desk, and I’ll tell you everything when I can.”  

 “Okay… I’ll be there.” Dori hung up. He slipped on his coat and called Nori.

 “Dori?” Nori said in greeting.

 “Where are you?”

 “Uh… at the gym about to play soccer. Why?”

 “Stay there and meet me in the lobby. I’ll be there soon to pick you up.”

 “But I’ve got a ride with Fili…” Nori replied, completely confused at the tone of Dori’s voice.

 “I’ll explain when I pick you up. Just be ready. This is… this is serious.”

 “Okay… I will be.”

 Dori hung up and rushed out to his car. Once he got in and closed the door, he took a deep breath. He could not panic and take any risks. He had to be calm to get himself and Nori there without getting into an accident themselves. He took a couple more deep breaths before starting the car.

 ********

 “What’s going on?” Nori asked, standing and going to his brother the second he walked in.

 “I’ll explain in the car,” Dori replied with a quick wave to Fili.

 “See you later,” Nori said to his friend before he hurried off with Dori.

 Dori didn’t immediately start the car when they got inside. He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

 “You’re acting weird. What is it?”

 Dori placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “They were in a car accident. Oin called me saying they were at the hospital. It didn’t… didn’t sound good.”

 “Shit, what are we still doing here then? Let’s go.” Nori stared at the side of Dori’s face as his brother turned the key and headed out of the parking lot. Dori’s tone and message on the phone had scared him enough, but this was terrifying. Ori and his parents in a car crash and at the hospital? His mind immediately went to the worst situations he could think of.

 “Dori…”

 Dori laid his free hand over Nori’s. “I know, but we have to take it as it comes. We can’t… let our imaginations run wild, okay?”

 Nori swallowed heavily. “Okay, okay… I can do that…” He closed his eyes and tried to breathe calmly.

 ********

 Dori strode into the emergency room lobby and straight to the front desk. Nori followed, though he couldn’t help but feel a chill run through his body as he passed through the doors.

 “We’re here for the car crash patients, a man, a woman, and a boy…” Dori’s assertive tone wavered. “Doctor Farin called us.”

 The receptionist’s face became sympathetic as she asked, “Dori Scriver?”

 “Yes, and my brother Nori.”

 “I’ll let Doctor Farin know you’re here, and he’ll come when he can. You can take a seat.”

 “She knows something about it,” Nori said when they were out of earshot from the desk. “We should ask her.”

 “It wouldn’t be much, I don’t think. We should wait for Oin.” Dori slumped down into a chair.

 Nori didn’t sit, opting to pace up and down the aisle. Dori didn’t chastise him, and tipped his head back, running his hands over his face.

 It was a good while before Oin came through the double doors out to the lobby. Dori and Nori immediately hurried over to him. Oin raised a finger to head off the rush of questions before they could start. He gestured to an open office door. “In here, where there’s some privacy.”

 Privacy? Nori knew that couldn’t be good. Whatever had happened, it had to be bad. Especially since Oin looked so… drained and sad.

 “Have a seat,” Oin offered, closing the door behind him.

 Dori did so, but Nori once again couldn’t. He stood behind the vacant chair and tightly held onto the back of it.

 Oin took a breath, and when he looked at them, his eyes were shining. “There was a car accident. I was just helping with… this. Ori is hurt with fractured ribs and a collapsed lung.”

 “Is he…?” Dori started, unable to finish the question.

 Oin put on a slight smile that lasted a second. “He was in critical condition, but he’s stable now.”

 “Oh, thank god for that.” Dori put his hand over his mouth.

 Oin cleared his throat. “There’s… there’s no easy way to tell you this.” His brow furrowed and he blinked.

 “Mama and dad?” Nori prompted.

 “Lori and Eileen…” Oin’s eyes closed for a couple seconds. When he opened them, his expression was enough to communicate his sorrow.” I am so sorry. They were… they were pronounced dead on arrival.”

 Nori’s legs buckled and he fell to his knees. He had the rug ripped out from under his life within the space of two seconds. All he could do was kneel there, staring at the back of the chair that his now-white fingers still gripped.

 Dori simply froze, his heart dropping to his stomach and a feeling of numbness washing over him. He barely even felt the tears stinging his eyes and dripping down his face.

 “They can’t be…” Nori finally broke the silence. “You’ve got to have it wrong.”

 “I wish I did,” Oin replied, unable to keep the waver of grief from his voice. “I wish with all my heart I did, Nori.” He went to the young man and pulled him up to his feet to maneuver him into the chair.

 Nori stared straight ahead for a long moment. Then, with a sudden long wailing cry, he pitched forward onto the carpeted floor. He landed on his knees and elbows, and the dam inside him burst open.

 Dori joined his brother on the floor, grabbing him around the shoulders and pulling him close.

 Oin wiped away the tears in his eyes and kneeled down. He wrapped his arms around the other two and rested his chin on Dori’s head. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”

 “Why…?” Nori sobbed.

 “I-I don’t have all the information,” Oin replied. “But Ori… he’ll make it. Focus on that.”

 “Ori… how much pain is he in?” Dori asked, trying to pull himself together.

 “He’s unconscious now, so none, hopefully.”

 “That’s… that’s good.” Dori bit his lip and let out a heavy breath through his nose. His hold on Nori tightened.

 “Do you need me to leave you alone?” Oin asked.

 “No… don’t go,” Nori replied.

 “Okay. I’ll be right back. I just need to tell the receptionist something.” Oin stood and patted their shoulders as he left the office.

 “Dori… they can’t be dead. They- they can’t. I mean… fuck, they can’t be.”

 “I know… I know. This is…” Dori blew out a long breath.

 Oin came back a couple minutes later, slipping his phone in his pocket as he came in.

 Dori looked up from Nori’s hair. “Can we see Ori?”

 Oin shook his head. “In a little bit, I promise.”

 The room was then quiet for a long time, except for the sounds of crying and sobbing and sniffling from all three men. Dori and Nori couldn’t bring themselves to get off the floor, their grief locking their muscles.

 Something vibrated in Oin’s pocket, and he quietly slipped out. He came back a short moment later, this time bringing Dis in. She was barely keeping her tears in check.

 Dis instantly rushed to the two on the floor and hugged them tightly. Oin explained, “I called her here to take you home.”

 “I don’t want to go home,” Nori refused, though his grabbed Dis’ arm and cried into her shirt.

 “My home,” Dis said. “You both can stay with us tonight.”

 “We shouldn’t… we shouldn’t leave. Not with Ori still here. We should stay with him,” Dori protested.

 “Yeah,” Nori agreed. “We should stay. We can’t leave him alone.”

 “I’ll take you to see him, but not for long, alright? Then you’ll go with Dis.” Oin waited for the two brothers to nod, then offered his hand to help them up. It also took Dis’ help to get them off the floor.

 Dori’s hand went to his mouth when they got to Ori’s room and saw him. He looked so pale and small, surrounded by machines. Cuts and bruises littered his face and hands. A bit of Ori’s side was visible, and Nori felt nauseous at the thin tube taped to it, guessing it went inside his body. His mind flashed back to a tiny baby behind just as many tubes and wires...

 “Oh, Ori…” Dori breathed, leaning over him and gently running a hand through the hair. “At least you made it.”

 Nori went to the other side of the bed and lightly stroked the back of his younger brother’s hand. He was quiet for a long moment before looking to Oin and Dis. “We should stay with him. Mama and dad are dead, and… he shouldn’t wake up and be scared…”

 “That’ll be awhile yet before he wakes up. Not until morning at the earliest. Could be longer than a day, even.”

 “Still…” Dori sighed.

 “I’ll be here through the night, monitoring him. I assure you he won’t be alone.”

 “Why can’t we stay?” Dori asked.

 Dis spoke up. “You two should be somewhere… safe to rest and work through this right now. Being here… it wouldn’t do you much good.”

 Oin placed a hand on Dori’s shoulder. “I promise if anything about Ori’s condition changes, I will let you know. You know he has family here taking care of him.”

 Nori dropped his head to the bed and gingerly held Ori’s hand. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Ori here, but Dis and Oin were right. Besides, they might get in the way if anything did happen with Ori. He raised his head to look across the bed, and saw that Dori had reached the same conclusion.

 “Can you give us a few minutes with him before we go?” Dori requested.

 Oin and Dis left, though the brothers then heard Dis crying right outside and Oin comforting her.

 “What are we going to do?” Nori quietly asked after a couple minutes.

 “We’ll figure it out.” Dori kissed the unconscious boy’s forehead. “We’ll figure it out…”

 ********

 Dis steered Dori inside her house with a hand on his shoulder, while also leading Nori by the hand. She didn’t stop until they were in the living room.

 Fili and Kili came from downstairs. “What happened?” Kili asked first.

 Dis shook her head at them and mouthed, “Tell you later.” Once she got the grieving brothers on the sofa, she asked, “Would you like anything? Water, food, anything?”

 Dori and Nori had stopped crying on the ride here, and were both silent and distant. Neither answered her. Nori kicked off his shoes and brought his legs up on the couch, curling up into a tight ball. Dori laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder and closed his eyes.


	41. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori deals with his parents' death in the only ways he knows how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for alcohol abuse.

The door opened and Thorin came in, looking worried. “I heard what happened.”

Dis and Dori were sitting at the table, coffee in hand. Dori was staring at nothing, but Dis seemed a little more alert.

“It’s…” Dis struggled. “Well. You know.”

Thorin nodded. “Dwalin’s right behind me,” he said. “What can we do?”

Dori snorted bitterly. “Nothing you can do,” he muttered. “Not unless you can go back in time.”

Thorin glanced at his sister, who shrugged hopelessly. “I’ve got Nori upstairs,” she said. “He’s with Fili and Kili…and Bofur and Bombur will have come in through the window by now, I imagine. At this point, all we can do is wait.”

Thorin nodded and sat down. “Well, then,” he said. “We wait.”

They didn’t wait long before Dwalin came into the house, barely hiding tears. “How is he?” he asked.

“Stable,” Dori answered. “Oin thinks he’ll live…but…” He took a shuddering breath. “But he’s so small…so frail…I don’t know how well he’s going to recover…and…and then what? He’s got no parents left…”

“He has you,” Dis said. “That will be enough.”

“I can’t…I don’t know how to be a parent!” Dori said. “Jesus Christ, my dad just died and…fuck.” He set his coffee cup down rather forcefully. “You know how I live…confirmed bachelor, good job, tiny apartment, as little trouble as possible…and now I’ve got two kids? What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Survive,” Dis said. “All any of us can do.” She glanced at Dwalin. “Coffee’s in the pot, whiskey’s in the cupboard.”

Dwalin nodded and went to get them. “Goddammit,” he muttered as he poured a cup. “I can’t…that poor boy…and Lori and Eileen…” He shook his head. “I can’t even process it.”

“Neither can I,” Dis said. “I keep thinking…she’s going to come in and take the rest of the coffee…” Her hands shook as she set the mug down. “It’s her favorite,” she said, her voice hitching in a sob. “We were going to the PTA Christmas exchange next week…she was going to make a better fruitcake than Janice for once…” Dis broke off, sobbing hard, tears falling down her face.

Thorin moved immediately and pulled his sister into his chest. “Shh,” he muttered. “Come on, Dis…you need to…”

“Let her cry,” Dori said. “Fuck’s sake, let her cry. We all need to.”

Dwalin nodded in agreement. “Any word on when we can see Ori?” he asked.

“Come with me tomorrow,” Dori said. “He’s not conscious yet, but…maybe his guardian angel will help.”

“Yeah,” Dwalin muttered. “Some fucking angel.”

*

Upstairs, Nori was stretched out on the floor of Fili and Kili’s room, staring at the ceiling. Fili and Kili sat next to him, not making any move.

They had been there for an hour before the window opened and Bofur climbed in, closely followed by this brother. They dropped to the floor and were next to the others in a minute.

“I got it,” Bofur said, pulling a bottle of amber liquid from his pocket.

Nori reached out and Bofur put the bottle in his hand. Nori unscrewed the top and downed a large swallow before passing the bottle to Fili, who did the same. Fili passed the bottle to Bofur.

“Is that really going to help?” Kili asked tentatively.

“I don’t fucking care,” Nori muttered as the bottle was passed back to him. “Nothing fucking matters…my parents are fucking dead and Ori’s going to die…who gives a fuck what I do anymore?” He took another swallow.

“Ori’s not going to die,” Kili said. “Oin said he would be okay…that’s what Mama said…Ori can’t die!”

“He’s going to fucking die, Kili,” Nori spat. “He’s too tiny…too weak…he’s not going to…” He took a shuddering breath. “And even if he doesn’t, what’s it matter? We’re alone in the world now…”

“You got Dori,” Bofur pointed out, taking the bottle back and taking another drink.

Nori snorted. “Oh, sure,” he said. “That’s gonna be a happy household…you know we don’t get along.”

“Still,” Fili said. “He’s your brother…he can look after you for the next six months until you turn eighteen.”

Nori grunted. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” he said. “None of it does.” He curled up, the tears flowing freely now. “I didn’t…I was such a brat to them…goddammit.” He wiped his eyes. “They asked if I wanted to go…and I said no. I blew them off…I didn’t say it, but I made it clear I didn’t want to spend time with them…Mama…Mama wanted me there…I should have been there…”

“And what would you have done?” Fili asked. “Offered to drive the car? Sat in the back and thrown yourself over Ori? What could you have done but ended up dead or in the hospital?”

Nori sniffed a few times. “I know,” he said. “I fucking know, Fili, just…goddammit.” He grabbed the bottle again. “I just…I told her I’d see it later…I told her I’d be home for dinner…and now there won’t be any fucking dinner.”

Bofur moved and pulled Nori into his arms, gently prying the bottle from his hands and passing it to Fili. “It’s okay,” Bofur murmured. “It’s gonna be okay…you’re going to be fine.”

“I won’t,” Nori muttered. He curled into Bofur’s chest, clutching at the other boy’s shirt.

Fili moved to the other side, putting his arms around Nori in turn. Kili and Bombur moved in, effectively cocooning Nori between them. Nori clung to Bofur and let his friends comfort him, wishing that it could ever be okay.

*

The next morning dawned bright and cold and absolutely miserable as Thorin threw open the door of Fili and Kili’s room very early.

“Breakfast,” Thorin grunted. “You’ll all want it, trust me.”

Nori blinked, still wrapped up in the arms of his friends. But they were all moving, groaning and grumbling at Thorin.

“Don’t whine at me,” Thorin growled. He moved into the room and picked up the dropped bottle. “And where did you get this?”

Bofur shifted uncomfortably. “They left the door unlocked,” he mumbled.

“No one was gonna drink it ever,” Nori said. “Dori doesn’t drink whiskey and…” He swallowed as the reality of yesterday hit him. “And it was a really expensive bottle of Scotch and Dad was…he was saving it for their twentieth anniversary…it was only a few years off…they were planning to take a vacation together and…” He was shaking and Bofur instantly wrapped his arms back around him. “I didn’t want it to just sit in a cupboard,” Nori finished. “So I asked Bofur to bring it.”

Thorin glared for a moment before his sighed. “I know,” he said. “And it’s not my place to object…but this isn’t the way to deal with your problems. Believe me.”

Nori nodded. Thorin looked at the boys for a moment longer. “Dori’s already gone to the hospital,” he said. “Nori, once you’ve had breakfast I’ll take you over.”

Dis was clattering around the kitchen when the boys came down. Her eyes were very red and she seemed a lot more disorganized than usual. Bombur immediately moved in and grabbed the eggs from her. “I’ll do this,” he murmured. Dis nodded and turned back to the toaster.

Nori dropped into a chair, not focused on anything. He didn’t move until a cup of coffee slid in front of him. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Dark roast, Jem’s, fresh ground…the coffee his mother always drank three pots of every day.

His stomach clenched, his throat tightened. Eileen always smelled like coffee. Sitting there with the cup in front of him was like being wrapped in her arms, being safe…but he wasn’t. She wasn’t there, she would never be there. Coffee didn’t smell like her anymore. It just smelled like coffee.

Nori lurched to his feet, knocking the chair over. He clutched at the table for a moment before he turned and dashed out the door.

“Nori!” Dis called, but he was already gone. She turned to chase after him, but when she got to the door, he was nowhere in sight. “Shit,” Dis muttered. “Bombur, can you finish breakfast?”

“You got it.” Bombur turned to the stove. The other boys were staring at the door but made no move to follow as Dis grabbed her coat and ran off.

*

Dwalin stared out the window, not seeing anything. He didn’t know what to think, or what to feel. Lori, Eileen, little Ori…how much could he take in one day?

His cell phone rang. Dwalin glanced at the number. Dis. He picked up. “Yeah?”

“Dwalin, he’s run off again…I can’t find him, can you…?”

Dwalin closed his eyes. Eileen’s voice was ringing in his ears. _“Mister Dwalin, could you find Nori? He’s taken off on me.”_

“Yeah,” Dwalin said. “I’ll find him.” He hung up the phone and took a breath. Right. Nori, more upset than ever, run off. Where would he go?

 _He’s running away._ Dwalin knew, he always knew, because he was the same way once. _He’s afraid and he doesn’t want anyone to know._ Dwalin nodded and grabbed his car keys.

The bus stop was crowded, dirty, noisy, but Dwalin didn’t take long. He spotted Nori, waiting on the bench next to the ticket counter. Kid probably didn’t have any money on him, and if he did, it wouldn’t get him far. Dwalin took a moment and went over to the nearby coffee shop.

Nori looked up as Dwalin sat down next to him and held out a paper cup. “It’s not coffee,” Dwalin said.

Nori nodded and took it. Hot chocolate. Good. He took a few shaky sips. “You’re his guardian angel,” he finally said.

Dwalin closed his eyes. “I know,” he said. “But I can’t always save him.” He took a breath, followed by a sip of his own coffee, cheap with a dull smell. “You know I’ve always done my best for your family.”

Nori nodded. “I know.”

“But…” Dwalin took another deep breath. “At some point, you have to grow up and see…I’m not a superhero. I can’t always save all of you.”

“I know.” Nori bowed his head, tears falling again. “It’s not your fault…I just wish…I wish there was such thing as an angel. Someone to save him…to save all of them.”

“You think there’s no such thing as angels?” Dwalin asked. “Maybe I’m not one…but Ori is alive. He’s alive, and he’ll recover. Oin won’t let him die. You know that. Maybe…maybe there is someone looking after him.”

“So what can we do?” Nori asked.

“You can be there for him,” Dwalin said. “You can help Dori. You can live your life as your parents would want…and you can’t run away. You can’t just run every time life gets hard.”

Nori turned suddenly and threw himself into Dwalin’s chest, sobbing. Dwalin wrapped the boy in his arms and held on. “It’s okay,” Dwalin murmured. “Cry now, and then we’re going back to see Ori.”

“I don’t want…he looks so helpless.”

Dwalin’s grip tightened. “I know,” he said. “But Ori…he’s tougher than he seems. He’s going to be okay.”

*

Dori looked up as the door opened and Dwalin guided Nori inside. “Okay?” Dori asked.

Nori nodded. “Okay.” He went over and sat down next to Ori. “Hey, buddy.” He took his brother’s hand. “You’re going to be fine…we’re here…Dwalin’s here…we’re going to take care of you, I promise.”

Dori glanced at Dwalin. “Thank you,” he said.

Dwalin nodded. “Any time.” He sat down on Ori’s other side. “I’m watching over you, little one. Come back. Please.”


	42. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori is getting better. Dori tries to decide what to do.

It hurt. It hurt so much. He couldn’t even identify what was hurting, just that he was.

It was dark. He couldn’t see anything or really remember much. He tried to move, tried to speak. “Mama?” No sound came out.

He could hear voices, muddled and distinct and he felt himself becoming afraid. He wanted his mama, now! “Mama!”

Someone was holding his hand, petting his hair. “I think he’s waking up!” That was Dori. He could definitely hear Dori.

Ori’s eyes opened for a moment. Yes. Dori. Dori was here. Dori was safe.

“Come on, lad, you can do this.”

That was Dwalin. Ori turned his head and he could see him for a moment before he grew exhausted again and it all went black.

*

Dori looked up as a cup of tea was pushed into his hand. “Oh…hello, Balin.”

“Evening, lad.” Balin took Dwalin’s empty chair with his own cup. “Heard he woke up today.”

“Briefly,” Dori said. “Oin says it’s very encouraging…he think we could have him back by the end of the week. But it’s going to be rough.” He looked down at Ori sadly. “I miss him so much.”

“He’s going to be okay,” Balin said. He studied Dori for a moment. “When did you last sleep?”

Dori blinked. “Um…what day is it?”

“Wednesday,” Balin said.

“I slept…Monday night…and I had a quick nap yesterday…” Dori yawned.

“Go home, lad,” Balin said. “Have a shower, change your clothes, get some sleep. We’ll call you if anything happens.”

Dori sighed heavily. “Okay,” he said. He bent and pressed a kiss to Ori’s forehead before he stood up and left the room.

*

The street was dark and quiet. Dori looked at his father’s house for a long moment before he turned and went to the Durin’s.

Dis was in the kitchen, which was covered in flour. Dori raised his eyebrows. “Stress baking?”

“Mhmm,” Dis said. “I just…sorry…but after Vili…I went into a deep depression and I can’t do that to the boys again.” She turned and handed Dori a plate of cookies. “Try those.”

“Thanks.” He sat down at the table but didn’t eat. “What’s going to happen to us?” he asked, his voice like that of a lost child.

Dis looked at him with heartbroken expression. “Well…we’ve all been talking,” she said. “I mean…obviously, social services will probably ask you to look after the boys, but…but I know you’re not really ready. So…if you can’t do it, or…or if you want to go back to your life…Marnie and Gloin have offered to adopt Ori, and I’m willing to keep Nori until he’s done with school.” She sat down across from him. “You don’t have to do this on your own.”

Dori nodded. “Thank you,” he said. “I…I don’t know what I’m going to choose yet.” He took a deep breath. “Can I make that choice once Ori’s out of the hospital? I’d feel awful telling him I won’t keep him while he’s still injured.”

“Of course,” Dis said. “You’ll need to think it over…we just…we wanted to give you an option…so you wouldn’t be taking them out of obligation. They deserve better than that.”

“Yeah,” Dori said. “Yeah, they do.”

*

When Ori next opened his eyes, he felt…better. He didn’t hurt as much and he could see a lot better than before.

Dori was next to him again, looking very tired, but he smiled when he saw Ori looking at him. “Hey, sweetie,” Dori said quietly. “How do you feel?”

Ori tried to answer, but couldn’t get the words out. Dori didn’t seem to mind. “I’m going to call Dr. Farin in, okay?” he said. He pressed a button nearby. “You scared us quite a lot.”

Ori’s brow furrowed in bewilderment. He wasn’t sure what was going on. Dori sat by, humming a bit.

Oin came in quickly and started looking Ori over. “I think the worst is over,” he told Dori. “It’s going to take a little while for him to get full speech back, though.”

Dori nodded. “Thank you,” he said.

Ori mouthed _Where’s Mama?_ to his brother.

Dori and Oin exchanged a glance. “Go back to sleep,” Oin finally said. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Ori was more confused than ever, but his exhaustion soon overtook him and he went back to sleep.

*

Bifur pulled up to the Scriver house, and saw Dori’s car parked in the driveway. He let out a long breath as he turned off his car and got out. Bifur had seen him yesterday, but he doubted his friend was any better today.

 Bifur raised his hand to knock on the door, but stopped and tried turning the doorknob instead. It was unlocked, so he let himself in. “Dori?” he called out. At the lack of an answer, he called out again. Once again there was silence. He glanced around downstairs for him before heading upstairs.

 In Lori and Eileen’s bedroom, Dori sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at a framed photo in his hands. “Hey…” Bifur greeted softly. He didn’t go in until the other man looked up at him. At the confused expression, he explained, “You left the door unlocked.”

 “Right, I did,” Dori sighed.

 Bifur sat next to him. It didn’t look as though Dori was crying or had been anytime recently before Bifur had come in. “How… how are you?”

 Dori shrugged.

 Bifur glanced outside to the hallway. “Where’s Nori?”

 “With your family.” Dori wiped his hand over his face and put the photo down. Bifur saw it was a family one taken outside the house, when Ori was a toddler. The five of them smiling with arms around each other.

 Dori continued, “I think… I think he’s afraid of being here. Not that I blame him any. Maybe when Ori comes home, he’ll feel better about it.”

 “Aye, maybe.”

 Dori sat quietly for a long moment, his hands folded between his knees. Then he looked to Bifur and asked, “If… if something like this happened to your family… not that I ever want it to or anything, but… if Bofur and Bombur were left, and…”

 Bifur understood what his friend was getting at. “I would take them in, no hesitation.”

 Dori nodded and sighed. “Thought so.”

 “But I know that’s not for everyone. I don’t think anyone would judge you if you didn’t.”

 “I doubt they would, yeah. They offered to take them for me.” Dori turned his head to consider his friend. “You’ve thought about taking your cousins if anything happened?”

 “Aye, for a while now, before… before this.”

 “How long?”

 “Since Aunt Betsy was diagnosed.”

 Dori nodded, and was still for a moment. “I love them, I really do…”

 Bifur put his arm around Dori’s shoulders and pulled him in close. “I know. I know you do.”

*

The next morning Ori was awake. Really and truly awake.

Dwalin was there this time, looking almost as tired as Dori had, but he still smiled. “Hey, lad,” Dwalin said.

“Where’s Mama?” Ori asked. “Is she in another room?”

Dwalin swallowed. “How much do you remember?” he asked.

Ori thought back. “There was a crash,” he said. “And Mama wouldn’t answer me and then Daddy fell asleep…is he awake yet?”

Dwalin took a deep breath. How could he…? But if not him, who? “No,” he finally said. “Lori…didn’t wake up. Neither did Eileen. They…they aren’t going to wake up, Ori.”

Ori stared at him for a moment, uncomprehending. “You mean…?”

“Yes.” Dwalin looked down. “They…they were hurt too badly…and they died. I’m sorry.”

A tear rolled down Ori’s cheek. “My brothers?”

“I sent them home to sleep.” Dwalin pulled out his phone. “I’ll call them right now.”

“What’s going to happen to us?” Ori asked.

Dwalin’s hand shook as he pressed the buttons on his phone. “We’re…still working out the details,” he said. “Most likely you’ll go home and Dori will take care of you.”

“Most likely?” Ori repeated.

“It depends on what social services says,” Dwalin said, and pressed the call button. “Dori? He’s awake and communicating…yeah, I told him…in shock, I think, better come talk to him.” He hung up. “They’re on their way.”

Sure enough, not long after, Dori and Nori came hurrying into the ward. “Ori!” Dori exclaimed. “How are you feeling?”

Ori sniffed a bit. “Mama and Daddy…”

Dori’s face crumpled. “Yeah,” he said. “But…we’re going to be okay…we’ll figure this out.”

“Hurts,” Ori said.

Dori sat down next to the bed. “I know,” he said.

Nori sat on the other side and gently wrapped and arm around Ori’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, kid,” he murmured.

Ori curled into Nori’s chest, sobbing even though it hurt to breathe that hard. Dori laid a hand on his back, even though there was nothing they could do.


	43. In the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funerals dredge up a lot of memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: past character death, implied homophobia

Ori looked up from his well-worn copy of _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_. “It’s today, isn’t it?” he asked.

Dwalin nodded. “Aye, lad, it is.”

“I should be there.”

Dwalin sighed. “It’s all right…I’m sure they understand.”

“You should be there.”

“I should be with you. I could only get your brothers to go by promising to stay here.”

Ori nodded, the tears starting again. “I just…I want to say goodbye.”

Dwalin clumsily petted the boy’s hair. “I know.”

*

Dori sat stone-faced through the funeral. He had run out of tears to cry, so now he just needed to get through today.

Nori was doing his best to imitate his brother, though Dori could tell it wasn’t working. Nori was blinking far too much, but also frowning over the minister’s words, as though he could barely comprehend them.

But then the minister was finished and it was time for the family to speak. Dori took a breath, steeled himself, and stood up. He walked to the front unflinchingly. He had to be strong. At the podium, he looked out over all the people who had come, some of whom were his best friends and some of whom he barely knew.

“My father,” Dori began. “Lori Scriver…I won’t say we had a perfectly close relationship, but…well, we knew each other as well as father and son could.” He closed his eyes. “For a long time, he was the only person I had in my life…the only person I had in the world.” He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering.

*****

_1988_

Dori’s mother had died when he was eleven. Cancer, fast and incurable and awful to witness. It was barely six months after she finally succumbed that his father, wracked with grief, declared that he couldn’t stay in London any longer and packed his son off to America, to St. Paul where two of their cousins had already settled.

In later years, Dori would think about how having that much upheaval in so short a time was probably detrimental to his mental and emotional health. Indeed, for the first year after moving to St. Paul, he barely spoke to his father, being distressed at the death of his mother and angry that he didn’t even have his old friends to comfort him.

But they did heal, slowly. Lori got a good job, and Dori went to school and started making friends, though none of them were close, and they managed to repair their relationship, mostly due to having no one else.

They established a routine of sorts. They would go to work and school, then Dori would walk back alone and do his homework, which was to be finished before his father returned so that they could go over it together after dinner. During dinner, Lori would usually talk about his day. Dori liked that, actually. It helped him feel like a grown-up, someone his father could confide in, even if most of the day-to-day interactions of the business world were rather boring.

Lori was not a demonstratively emotional man, but Dori knew him well enough that he could read his father’s mood at a glance. So when Lori came home one day in the early spring, Dori immediately knew that his father was annoyed.

“Did something happen?” Dori asked.

“No, nothing I wasn’t expecting,” Lori said. “But Angie is going on maternity leave next week so I’m going to be saddled with a temp for the next month or two.”

“Why is that bad?” Dori asked. “Lots of women have both children and jobs these days.”

“No, it’s not that,” Lori said. “I’ve gotten used to that, though I’m still not sure it’s a good idea. No, it’s having someone for six weeks and then just as they’re good enough to be worth having, they’re gone again. It’s inconvenient for me.”

“Well, maybe you’ll get someone experienced,” Dori said. “I mean, don’t temps have to do school like everyone else?”

“Oh, I’m sure this girl will be good at being a general receptionist,” Lori conceded. “But she won’t know how our office runs or how I like things, and once she learns it won’t do her any good elsewhere.”

“Wait and see,” Dori said. “Maybe she’ll be perfect.”

*****

“We were alone for a long time,” Dori said. “And it was a long time, even if it didn’t feel like it. I thought…I thought we would always be like that. Just two people, stuck with each other and no one else. But then…well, to quote my dad, this tall leggy red-head walked in and started causing trouble.”

There was a bit of laughter, quickly cut off but still there.

“Her name was Eileen Roberts.” Dori looked at Nori. God, the boy looked so much like her. “And Dad was right…she was trouble.”

*****

_April, 1988_

“Mr. Scriver?”

Lori looked up, a bit startled. It had been a long time since he’d heard his name in that accent.

The woman in front of his desk was quite young, though he knew that from the profile the temp agency had sent over. She was fairly tall; he doubted there was an inch of difference between their heights. Her red-brown hair was teased up in the ridiculous style that young women seemed to favor those days, though somehow on her, it didn’t look silly; rather it highlighted her long neckline and made her look even taller than she was. Her eyes were wide and brown and her nose was rather sharp. Her hips were wide and her breasts were small and her pantsuit had been made over a few times but still fit her well. She wasn’t pretty, per se, but she had a pleasant expression, only slightly marred by a hint of mischief in her eyes.

“I’m Eileen Roberts, the temporary secretary?” She smiled a bit shyly. “They told me to come straight up; I hope you don’t mind.”

Lori blinked. For almost a minute, he couldn’t speak. The girl looked even more nervous and he knew he had to say something, so he finally said the first thing that came to mind. “No one told me you were from London.”

She looked surprised. “Sorry?”

He shook himself. “No, I’m sorry,” he said. “Forgive me, Miss Roberts. I…it’s been a while since I met anyone else from there.” He stood up abruptly and she took a step back. “Your desk is over here,” he said, leading her back to the foyer. “Your duties are fairly light. Answer the phone, take messages, send people through if they come. If someone calls and I’m here, push one to put them on hold and two to send them through to me.”

“Anyone who needs to go through immediately?”

“My son, Dori, and his school. No one else. Press three to call me when someone comes in and see if I want to see them. I might also ask you to review my reports for spelling errors on occasion. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I also need you to keep my appointment book. It should be in the top drawer of your desk. If someone wants to meet, find them a time and inform me immediately.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Lori did his best to smile. “Well, I don’t think I need to tell you anything else. Do you have any questions?”

“No, sir.” Her mouth was twitching like she wanted to smile but didn’t want to offend him. “I think I can handle it.”

“Good. I’ll leave you to it, then.” Lori turned and marched back into his office. The moment the door closed, he sat down heavily.

He wished he had had warning.

*

As it turned out, Dori was right. Eileen was perfect.

She was quick, efficient, intelligent and very good at reading Lori’s mood—probably better than Angie was, and Angie had had a year and a half to get used to him. Eileen wasn’t the most organized secretary Lori had ever had, but she was certainly the fastest and most eager to please.

That quickly became a problem. Eileen wasn’t only quick and efficient, she was also clever and, it turned out, had a blatant disregard for authority bubbling just under the surface. She wasn’t like Angie, all cool professionalism. Eileen teased him, and laughed at his stoicism. She made jokes about the people who came to see him, about their coworkers, about the boss. At first, Lori was hesitant to join in, but he couldn’t help it. Eileen gossiped and joked and teased and Lori had to laugh.

Which would have been fine, except Lori kept having…thoughts. The sorts of thoughts he had not had in years, that often…no, always led to trouble.

He felt awful about how he laughed at Eileen’s jokes, not just because they were funny but because he wanted her to like him. He felt worse when he eyed her hips and thought about how they were made for birthing and God it was pervy, but he couldn’t help it. And after a week or two, he began thinking that maybe she was no radiant beauty, but she was rather pretty. He certainly wouldn’t get tired of her.

But she would get tired of him, Lori was certain. She was sixteen years younger than he was—hardly older than Dori, when he thought about it. And he was her boss, even if it was temporary. It was entirely inappropriate to be having Thoughts about her.

And even if she had been older, and not his secretary, Lori still couldn’t have Thoughts. His wife had only been dead for two years, and he had Dori to think about. The boy was barely thirteen and had enough problems without his father bringing someone new into the family. They were comfortable with their dynamic. They were fine.

They didn’t need anyone else.

*

“How was your day?”

Dori already knew it had been good, but it was still so nice to hear his father say it. Good days had been rare for them in the last two years, but they were starting to be more frequent.

“It was good, thank you,” Lori said as he went to grab that night’s menu. They had a regular takeout schedule since neither one of them could cook worth a damn. “I had four meetings and didn’t want to strangle anyone.”

“You haven’t wanted to strangle anyone in almost a month,” Dori observed.

Lori shrugged. “I haven’t been talking to as many people I hate,” he said. “At least, not when I don’t absolutely need to.”

“So the new secretary is working out?”

Lori froze. Surely Dori hadn’t realized…?

“Miss Roberts has a lot of empathy,” Lori finally said. “And she’s very good at reading clients.”

Dori nodded. “I’m glad she’s working out,” he said. “Maybe you should keep her.”

“I don’t think so,” Lori said. “She’s a bright young thing…she has a long future ahead of her. I won’t make her be a secretary her whole life.”

*****

“I’m not going to say Eileen was my favorite person in the world.” It was probably best to admit that now. “But I am happy we got to be friends over the years. I didn’t know her half as well as I should have, but those of you who did know her seem to agree…she was the most energized, industrious, kind-hearted and ridiculous person you’d ever find.” More laughter. That was good. “She came into our lives unexpectedly and changed them for the better.”

*****

_June, 1988_

“Here’s the last report, Mr. Scriver.”

“Thank you, Miss Roberts.” Lori took the pages. “I am going to miss you, you know.”

“They all say that,” Eileen said with a grin. “But you know how it is.”

“I do know,” Lori said. He hesitated. “I want to thank you, though. Can I take you to dinner next week? Just…you know…”

Eileen raised her eyebrows. “Formal or informal?” she asked.

“Formal,” Lori said before he’d really thought about it.

“Certainly,” she said. “Just let me know the details.” She turned and left the office.

*

“Dori?” Lori asked that night.

“Yeah?” Dori said. He knew his father had something on his mind, something important. Lori was wearing his Business Dinner face.

“Would you…how do you feel about me dating again?”

Dori almost dropped his fork. “I…” He hesitated. “I mean…it’s a bit soon, isn’t it?”

Lori sighed. “It’s been two years,” he said. “I will always miss your mother…I have not stopped loving her. But…but I don’t think she would want me to be alone. I can’t be alone.”

“I’m here,” Dori said.

“Romantically,” Lori said. “I won’t do anything that would make you unhappy, but…”

“You’ve met someone?” Dori asked.

Lori nodded. “I have,” he said. “I don’t know if my affections are returned, and I won’t even ask if you disapprove.”

Dori was quiet for a minute, eating his dinner. Finally, he looked up. “I don’t want you to be unhappy,” he said. “I…I’m not going to stop missing Mother. And I don’t want anyone to replace her. But if you want to try dating, I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Thank you,” Lori said. “Like I said, I don’t know if this woman reciprocates yet. It might be nothing.”

“You should ask anyway,” Dori said. “She might like you.”

“I’m having dinner with her next week,” Lori admitted. “I’ll leave money for you…if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Dori said.

*

Lori was a bit surprised the next morning when Eileen walked in and set a cup of coffee on his desk. “Thank you?” he said.

“Welcome,” Eileen said. “You’re gonna need it.”

Lori took a sip and was even more surprised to find that it was exactly how he like it, one cream no sugar. “You have been paying attention.”

“I asked a few discreet questions downstairs.” She smirked a little. “Also, McKinsey is coming by today so I thought I’d make the morning easier.”

“Thank you, Miss Roberts,” Lori said.

She looked down briefly. “You could call me Eileen,” she said.

Lori smiled a bit. “Next week,” he promised.

*

Lori had never been so nervous in his life. Business dinners didn’t set him on edge like this, but the idea of meeting Eileen for dinner outside of work had his palms sweating all day.

Dori, of course, noticed.

“It’s not that big a deal,” he said that afternoon. “She’ll probably get that you haven’t been on a date in a million years.”

“I went on dates with your mother,” Lori muttered, looking through his ties. “Blue or black?”

“Blue,” Dori said. “And that didn’t count, you were married for fifteen years and didn’t need to impress her.”

“You always need to impress women, no matter how long you’ve been together,” Lori said, tying his tie on. “You’ll understand that one day.”

Dori shrugged. “I don’t think I like girls,” he said.

“You’ll change your mind,” Lori muttered. “How do I look?”

“You look fine,” Dori said. “Really.”

“Okay.” Lori straightened up and took a few deep breaths. “I’ll be home later. Bed by eleven, yeah?”

“Yeah, Dad,” Dori said. “I promise.”

*

Lori got to the restaurant before Eileen did. He was glad about it, since it gave him a chance to prepare himself and order wine—he didn’t know much about the girl, but he was certain she didn’t know much about the topic.

She was only a few minutes late. He spotted her instantly, being led over by the maitre’d, looking lost and out of place. Lori was quick to note that she was wearing trousers—in fact, thinking back on it, she always wore trousers. That wasn’t unusual these days, but it was still enough of a shift for him to notice.

He stood up when she reached the table and did not sit down again until she had. That was only polite, wasn’t it?

Her lips quirked in a small smile. “You’re more old-fashioned than I thought,” she commented.

“It’s what happens with men my age,” he said. “I took the liberty of ordering wine. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” she said. “Not really my subject…to be honest, I’ve always been more of a beer drinker.”

Lori laughed a bit. “They don’t serve beer here,” he said. “At least, not beer you’d want.”

“And how would you know?” she asked.

“I think I’ve learned enough about your habits in the last few weeks, Miss Roberts,” he said.

“Eileen,” she said. “You promised to call me Eileen.”

His smile widened a bit. “So I did,” he said. “But only if you call me Lori.”

Her smile was dazzling. “I can do that,” she said. “And I hope to do so often.”

*****

“I couldn’t have possibly known what was coming. I guess I was too wrapped up in my own problems to really acknowledge that my dad was grieving…that he needed someone to help him. Or maybe I was lonely and just didn’t want to share. It took a while for all of us, and I can’t say it was easy.”

*****

_September, 1988_

“Dori?”

“Hmm?” Dori looked up from his homework. The household had changed a bit in the last few months. Lori spent a few nights out a week with Eileen, and Dori spend more time buried in schoolwork, and while they weren’t fighting, per se, Dori felt that they didn’t connect nearly as well as before.

“Well…I’ve been seeing Eileen for a while,” Lori said. “And I think…I think it’s going to last and I’d like you to meet her.”

Dori took a breath. “Okay,” he said.

“So…” Lori said. “We were talking, and she said she’d like to meet you and has asked us to dinner on Friday.”

“Right.” Dori went back to his work.

“And you will be polite to her.”

“Of course I will,” Dori said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lori raised an eyebrow. “I am aware you aren’t thrilled with the idea of me being in a relationship.”

Dori looked down. “No,” he said. “But I won’t ruin it for you. Not unless I have reason to think she’s bad for you.”

*

Dori did not dislike Eileen upon meeting her, exactly, but he was surprised.

Not that he expressed that aloud—his father had specifically told him to be polite. Instead, he shook her hand, ignoring how she was obviously laughing at him on the inside, and said that she had a nice apartment.

That wasn’t a lie, either. It was well-lit, for being rented, and she had obviously repainted it since moving in. There were garden boxes on all the windows and embroidered pillows and blankets on all the furniture. It was clean, if a bit disorganized, but the color scheme wasn’t what Dori was used to—greens and purples and golds, coordinated but somehow distasteful in his eyes, like a jester’s outfit. In spite of his dislike of the colors, though, he could tell that Eileen was, if not a neat person, at least an industrious one.

She laughed when she spotted him inspecting an embroidered throw-pillow. “I like to have something to do with my hands,” she said. “Try to keep busy, and no point paying other people to do what you can do yourself.”

“It’s very nice,” Dori said. “Your stitching is excellent.”

She grinned. “Know about textiles?” she asked, sitting down next to him with a beer bottle in her hand.

“My mother taught me a few things,” Dori said. “She took sewing and washing sometimes.” He secretly hoped that Eileen would be at least slightly uncomfortable at the mention of his mother. He secretly wanted to remind her that she was not and never would be part of his family.

But instead, Eileen kept smiling. “That was nice of her,” she said. She glanced toward the kitchen, where Lori was hovering. “Come sit down, Lori. Relax for a change.”

Dori was shocked when his father smiled, genuinely smiled for the first time he’d seen in the last two years. “Sorry,” Lori said. “I’ll do my best.”

*

The evening was quite nice, but Dori couldn’t bring himself to just accept Eileen right then. Oh, she was nice, and funny, and his father clearly adored her, but he couldn’t help but feel just a tiny bit…well, he wasn’t sure what. Angry, perhaps. Resentful, maybe. It was hard to give word to the emotion.

“So,” Lori said when they got home. “I take it you don’t like her.”

Dori looked up, surprised. He thought that he’d done well at hiding his feelings. “I don’t not like her,” he finally said carefully. “But…” He took a deep breath. “She’s really young.”

Lori blinked. “Well…I suppose,” he said. “She is a bit young, yes.”

“You suppose?” Dori asked, his voice rising. “You suppose she’s a bit young? She’s closer to my age than yours! You’re almost old enough to be her dad! And…no offence, but women that young don’t settle for guys old enough to be their dads unless they’re after something! You’ve got a good position, and she knows how good, she was your secretary for six weeks, that’s enough time to find out what you’re worth! How do you know she’s not just after the money and the house and everything we’ve worked for in the last few years? How do you know she’s not just after a sugar daddy to pay off her student loans and won’t just leave once she gets what she can out of you? She’s not going to want to stick around and be your little wife and look after a son she’s barely older than and you know it!”

Lori waited patiently for Dori to finish before he spoke. “I’ve thought about all that,” he said. “Believe it or not, everything you just said had already crossed my mind before I decided to pursue a romantic relationship with her.”

“And?” Dori demanded.

“And I concluded that it won’t happen like that,” Lori said. His voice was calm, but Dori caught a flash of anger in his father’s eyes. “If Eileen was just after money, there are at least five men in my office she would have met with greater assets and no children that she could have gone after. And even if she was just after money, I don’t think it would bother me too much. After all, she does provide companionship, and if she’s faking that, she’s doing it very well. As to the...obvious age difference between us…” Lori took a breath and closed his eyes. “Well, I can’t deny that it doesn’t weigh on me. I can’t help thinking that she’s far too young and bright and there’s a future for her, that she’ll get tired of me and find someone closer to her age, but…” He smiled wanly. “Well, think of it this way. You think she’s taking advantage of me; other people probably think I’m taking advantage of her.”

Dori paused, struck by this. “But you’d never…”

“Exactly.” Lori raised his eyebrows. “And I don’t think she would, either. I like her, Dori, and she’s given me every reason to believe that she likes me...and she seemed to like you well enough as well.”

“It just…” Dori struggled to find words. “Well...she doesn’t make sense. You know. With us.”

“Doesn’t she?” Lori asked.

“No,” Dori said. “She’s weird and drinks beer and wears trousers and her accent is from the East End and she’s…not like us.”

“She’s hard-working, like us. She’s educated, like us, though her accent doesn’t show it. She’s clever, like us. She’s self-sufficient, like us...more than us, actually, she can cook for herself. Maybe she’s not as neat as we like to be, but she’s not...well, she’s not a mess. Disorganized to our eyes, but she can always find what she’s looking for. Believe me, when she was at my office, I would never know where to find anything but she did.”

“That’s not what…”

“And I like that.” Lori shook his head slightly. “She makes me feel young. She’s spontaneous...she’s energetic, she’s resourceful...and I like having that back in my life.”

Dori nodded slowly. “I understand,” he said.

“Good,” Lori said. “So...other than her age and...eccentric approach to housekeeping, do you have any other reason for her not to be part of our lives?”

“I don’t think so,” Dori said. “But...I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Lori raised his eyebrows. “You mean you don’t want to get hurt again,” he said. He sighed. “I know you miss her, Dori...I miss her, too. And I know that fairy tales always feature the evil stepmother and you don’t want our dynamic to change.”

“No,” Dori said. “I don’t want that. And I don’t want to get hurt.”

“Get to know her a little better,” Lori said. “See if you can learn anything beyond a first impression.”

*****

“It was hard for us, but…well, they fit together.” Dori shook his head a bit. It was so strange, but true. “There are a lot of you here who can’t imagine it any other way, because for the last eighteen years they were always Lori and Eileen…well, unless you’re one of the people Eileen managed to annoy. She brought something out in him that I’d never seen before, something I don’t think could have been found without her.”

*****

_December, 1988_

Things changed again. It was slow, but definite change.

Eileen started spending nights at the Scriver house. Dori tried not to read too much into it. It was actually kind of nice, having home cooked meals once in awhile. She was always pleasant to Dori, a little bit too pleasant if he was honest, but that wasn’t a bad thing, really.

The only really annoying thing was that she was disorganized, but even that wasn’t too bad once Dori got used to it. And the front garden certainly flourished, in the fact that a garden actually appeared.

“Living things,” Eileen said once when Dori passed her on his way in from school. “Makes everything brighter...does a body good.” She reached out and lifted a caterpillar up on her fingertip. “It’s wonderful.”

Dori grunted in agreement and went inside. He wasn’t being...unpleasant to Eileen, exactly, but he wasn’t going out of his way to accommodate her. He didn’t really have a reason for it. He just...didn’t want anyone disrupting their lives. The house was big enough for more than two people, but he was so used to having it mostly to himself. He didn’t need anyone else there.

And the worst part of it was, he did like Eileen deep down. She wasn’t overbearing, she didn’t try to intervene in his life. She didn’t even offer to help with his homework or anything like that unless she was asked. She was just...there, making conversation and cooking dinner and gardening. More like a roommate than someone trying to replace his mother.

And that just made it harder. If Dori could hate her, it would be easy to give her a cold shoulder and drive her away. But since he didn’t...well, she made his father happy. That should have been enough.

So he wasn’t really surprised when a few months later, his father sat him down again.

“So,” Lori said. “Now that you’ve had time to get used to her, what do you think of Eileen?”

Dori shrugged. “She’s nice,” he admitted grudgingly.

“And?”

“And I don’t have any reason for you to not keep seeing her,” Dori said. He really hated this whole communicating-like-adults thing.

Lori nodded. “Good,” he said. “How would you feel about her living here?”

Dori blinked. “Um...it’s a bit soon, isn’t it?” he asked. “You’ve only been seeing her for about six months.”

“I know,” Lori said. “Just...as an experiment. See how we all do with a more...permanent arrangement. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but if it does…”

Dori thought for a moment. “If you like,” he finally said. “I think I can deal with it.”

*

It was weird, really, coming home in the afternoons and having someone else there. To her credit, though, Eileen didn’t really attempt to open a dialogue. She’d say hello and get on with whatever she was doing. It was...fine. That was the best word for it.

A few days after Eileen had settled, though, she did turn to Dori as he was working. “Do you have a moment?” she asked.

“I suppose,” Dori said, grudgingly setting aside his book. “Why?”

She seemed to hesitate. “Well,” she finally said. “I was thinking that, since we’re going to be in this situation for a while, it might be a good idea if we both...laid out some ground rules. Establish what we expect of each other.” She smiled a bit. “I know all this is probably very difficult for you and I want to make sure I’m not overstepping any bounds.”

Dori glared at her for a moment before he nodded. “Fine,” he said. “Let’s do that. First, you’re not my mother.”

“I was aware of that, thank you,” Eileen said drily. “Nowhere near old enough. But what does that mean to you?”

“It means that if I’m in trouble, you don’t try to discipline me,” Dori said. “If you’ve got a problem, tell my dad, but don’t try to keep me in line. And don’t offer help unless I ask for it.”

“All right,” Eileen said. “But if you do something that I think requires disciplinary action, I will tell your father. I’m not going to let you do whatever you want just because I’m not your mum.”

“Fine,” Dori said. “And you stay out of my room.”

“Fine,” Eileen said. “That all?”

Dori shrugged. “I guess.”

“Then I have a few things to say,” Eileen said. “First, we keep no secrets from your father. I don’t lie for you, you don’t lie for me. You don’t tell me not to tell him things he should know.”

“Fine.”

“We don’t force him to take sides. If we have an issue with each other, we talk about it like adults, and we don’t make him be in the middle.”

“Fine.”

“I’m not your mother and I don’t tell you what to do. But your father and I both expect you to help around the house if asked.”

“I don’t like the house a mess.”

“Good. Neither do I.”

Dori raised his eyebrow. “Really?”

“Believe it or not, yes. I like a bit of chaos, but it’s controlled chaos, thank you.” Eileen didn’t glare, but she did give Dori a look that made him feel a little bit guilty.

“Sorry.”

“It’s all right. This is a lot of change for you.” Eileen smiled again. “Your father and I have talked about all this, you know. And we did agree...you come first in his life. If he and I ever have...issues...you come first, always. And I promise never to get in the way of that.”

Dori looked surprised. “But...you’re his girlfriend,” he said.

“You’re his son,” Eileen countered. “I may be his girlfriend for a few weeks or twenty years, I don’t know. But you will always be his son. And...well, there might be other children in the future. If there are, I want to be certain that Lori will always be there for his children. It shouldn’t be difficult, and I won’t make it so.”

Dori nodded slowly. “Thank you.”

*****

“Life-changing. Spontaneous. And…most importantly, Eileen gave us a new family. She took our sad little world of two and expanded it beyond what we’d ever dreamed about. It’s thanks to her and her impulsive nature that I can go forward in life with two wonderful little brothers…it’s thanks to her that I don’t have to be alone again.”

*****

_November, 1989_

Dori looked up from his book as the door opened. Lori and Eileen had been away for the weekend--technically a business trip, but Eileen had opted to go along. They’d asked Dori if he’d wanted to go, but he refused, citing the very long essay he had due in English the next week.

“Dori?” Lori came into the kitchen, looking rather nervous.

“Hey,” Dori said. “Good weekend?”

“Very good, thank you,” Lori said. “Um...there’s something we need to tell you.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Just then, Eileen whirled into the kitchen, dropping her coat and purse on a chair. “Hello, Dori,” she said. “Got that essay done?”

“Just about,” Dori answered. “What’s gotten into you two, anyway? You look...weirdly happy for having to talk business for three days.”

Lori and Eileen glanced at each other. “So,” Lori said, looking extremely scared. “Um...well, it was a bit spontaneous and I’m very, very sorry about it, but...we got married.”

Dori dropped his book to the table with a thud. “What?” he said.

“We got married,” Lori repeated. “Yesterday...it just...sort of happened.” He looked very apologetic. “I’m so sorry, I just…”

“Shit happens,” Eileen finished.

Dori stared at them for a moment before he grabbed his book and stood up. He turned and stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

*

He stayed in his room for several hours before there was a soft knock on the door. “Dori?” Lori called. “Can I come in?”

“Go away,” Dori called.

“Well, then, I’ll say it from out here.” Dori heard a soft thump and he assumed Lori had sat down next to the door. “I am sorry...we weren’t really thinking about it. And...I know we should have all discussed things together first, but...sometimes, you make decisions spontaneously and don’t really have time to rethink. So the best thing to do is move forward.”

“You could have asked,” Dori snarled. “You could have called me and asked how I felt about it.”

“I know,” Lori said. “And we should have. But that can’t be fixed now.”

“Why did you do it, then?” Dori asked. “Why would you just get married without even calling me first? Why would you even think about doing that without me being there?”

There was silence on the other side of the door for several minutes before Lori spoke. “That was the other part of the news,” he said. “Eileen is going to have a baby.”

*

_June, 1990_

“Dori?”

“Yeah?” Dori yawned, the phone loose in his hand.

“It’s a boy. You have a little brother.”

“Great.” Dori sounded as disinterested as a 15-year-old could.

“We named him Nori.”

“Okay.”

“They’ll be coming home Wednesday.”

“Fine.”

Lori sighed through the phone. “You can’t keep being sullen forever. It’s been months!”

“Then you shouldn’t have eloped without telling me.”

“We’ve been over this. I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not.” Dori hung up the phone and went back to bed.

He knew it was childish to keep a grudge up this long. And rather pointless, since nothing had really changed since Lori and Eileen had gotten married. Oh, sure, one of the spare bedrooms had been outfitted as a nursery, but that was about it.

But that didn’t change the fact that it hurt. That even after agreeing to put him first, his dad had taken off with Eileen the moment it was convenient. That he was now stuck in a household where he would always come in second to the new baby, no matter how hard his dad tried.

He resented Eileen, he resented his father, and most of all, he resented the new baby--Nori now, he supposed, not that it mattered. Not that he expected his father to give Nori more attention. No, Dori had learned long ago not to expect his father to give his children any more attention than was strictly necessary. But Nori would have a mother. He’d have Eileen, and while Dori had made it quite clear that Eileen was not his mom--how could she be, she was only eight years older than him, hardly more than a child herself--he couldn’t help but miss that. Having someone to love him and pay attention to him and take care of him.

So while there might have been a new baby coming home, Dori was bound and determined not to let it change his attitude.

*

“Dori!” Lori called up the stairs. “Can you come help, please?”

Dori sighed and put down his book. He stomped downstairs and went to the door to take the bag his father handed him. “Your room or the nursery?” he asked.

“Nursery,” Lori said. “And then you can meet your brother.” He turned back down the drive to help Eileen from the car.

Dori took the bag up to the nursery. He considered going back to his room, but he wasn’t going to make his father upset if he could help it. Not right now, anyway.

Lori and Eileen came up the stairs a few minutes later. Eileen was carrying a small bundle in her arms. She put on a smile when she saw Dori. “Here he is,” she said, holding the bundle out.

Dori looked down. Nori was about average size for a baby and was currently asleep, his tiny red faced scrunched up and his eyes tightly closed.

Something in Dori’s heart melted. “Wow,” he said softly. “He’s...great.”

“I think so,” Eileen said. “Would you like to hold him?”

Dori reached out. A brief, intrusive thought flared, saying he should drop the baby and be done with it, but he quickly shook it out of his head. He took the baby in his arms and waited patiently for Eileen to show him how to adjust the position. Dori stood very still, gazing at the child. At Nori.

Presently, Nori’s eyes opened. They were unfocused and Dori mentally braced himself for the baby to start crying, but he didn’t. Nori only looked at him with narrow eyes for a second before going back to sleep.

Lori and Eileen exchanged a glance, both smiling softly.

*****

“My father was a good man. He was a strong man, and he was always there for us, even if we didn’t always see it. Eileen made him better. She made sure that we would stay a family, that all of us would be loved and accepted. She was a good friend, and a wonderful mother…to all of us.”

*****

_1991_

Things got better. With a new baby in the house, no one really had any time to be mad at each other, which helped a lot. And now that Dori had seen him, held him in his arms, he couldn’t hate the baby anymore. How could he, when Nori was about the most adorable thing he’d ever seen?

And really, once Dori let go of being angry, he found that Eileen was a good person to have around. Who else could get his father to smile, or cook dinner on short notice, or discuss the merits of English literature all afternoon? Dori was still unhappy about the rather abrupt changes Eileen had brought into his life, but he found more and more that he liked her anyway. They weren’t friends, exactly, but they were friendly, at least.

And it was kind of fun to have someone to tease his father with.

But then there were other changes in Dori’s life. Well...not changes, exactly. He didn’t feel any different. He just had finally gotten the words for his feelings and it was terrifying.

It had started years ago, when he thought about it. He knew that his school friends liked girls, and they always joked about kissing girls. Dori had joined in, even though he’d never thought about kissing a girl himself.

He’d managed to avoid most of the drama that surrounded boys and girls by focusing on his schoolwork. Then the turmoil with his dad and Eileen had given him a convenient excuse not to have much of a social life for the last three years.

But now things were better and he was at a point where a social life was expected and he finally had to own up to the fact that Mike Moon on the football team entered his head more often than Kelsey James from the cheerleading squad.

It was utterly terrifying and Dori had no idea what to do. He knew that he should tell his father, but...well, his father wasn’t exactly an open-minded person. More relaxed these days, certainly, but not very liberal with his morals. And there weren’t too many adults in Dori’s life who he could trust.

That left him with very little choice.

“Hey, Eileen?”

Eileen glanced up from the floor, where she and Nori were playing with some sort of educational toy that Dori couldn’t fathom a purpose for. “Yes?” she asked.

Dori took a deep breath. “I...I have something I need to tell you and...and not have you tell Dad.”

Eileen raised her eyebrows. “I thought we agreed not to keep secrets from him?”

“Well...yeah,” Dori said. “It’s not like that...it’s just something I have to tell him myself and I don’t know how.”

“Oh.” Eileen looked struck by this. “Well...what is it?”

Dori bit his lip. “Um...I think I’m gay,” he muttered. He could feel himself blushing.

“Oh.” Eileen blinked. “I see.”

Dori started to stand. “I’ll just...go ahead and pack,” he muttered.

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to tell him, and then he’s going to kick me out.” Dori blinked back tears. “It’s what always happens to kids like me.”

Eileen’s face turned stormy. “Not if I can help it,” she said. “I’m not going to tell Lori--you’re right, you need to tell him yourself, when you’re ready. But he’s not going to throw you out.”

“How do you know?” Dori asked. “He’s not...he’s not the most open-minded guy on the planet. He’ll probably freak out and...and not want anything to do with me.”

“You’re his son,” Eileen said. “He loves you, more than anything. And if he can’t accept you...well, then I’ve made a horrible mistake.” She glanced at Nori, who was sitting up and watching her. “I’m on your side, Dori. I promise.”

“I thought we also agreed not to put him in the middle,” Dori said.

“Yes,” Eileen agreed. “But not this time. This time, if he gives up on one, he loses us all.”

*

Dori was very relieved to have someone on his side. That did not mean it was easy, sitting at the dinner table that night and waiting for a good time.

Eileen made no move or mention that anything was different. She simply fed her sons and husband as usual, though she did smile at Dori encouragingly when he glanced at her.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Dad,” he said. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

Lori looked at him. “You didn’t get an F in English, did you?” he asked, only somewhat joking.

“No, nothing like that.” Dori took a breath, counting heartbeats and hoping that this wasn’t going to end as badly as he feared. “I...I’m gay.”

There was silence at the table. Lori stared at Dori for a long time before he looked to his wife. Eileen only raised an eyebrow at him. “I promised not to interfere in his upbringing,” she pointed out.

Lori nodded. “How long?”

“I don’t know,” Dori said. “Always, I guess.”

Lori was quiet for a very long time. Dori shrank back, not sure what to expect.

Finally, Lori looked at him. “I need time to think,” he said. “You are excused.”

Dori bolted from the kitchen.

*

Hours later, just before he drifted off to sleep, Dori caught the sounds of raised voices. He hesitated, but curiosity won out so he crept to the top of the stairs to listen.

“I don’t know what to do with him, Eileen!”

“Nothing, that’s what. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Not yet, no, but when he finds other people...like that…”

“What? He’ll date and find romance like anyone else?”

“Not like anyone else. It’s...obscene.”

“Not in my view. The world is changing, Lori.  And don’t pretend it hasn’t been going on for centuries before now.”

“And you’re all right with him being here? Being around Nori?”

“What do you think he’s going to do to Nori?”

“I don’t know…”

“He’s your son, Lori! And he said himself it’s always been this way. He’s not a different person from who he was yesterday!”

“So I’m just supposed to accept it?”

“Yes.” Eileen’s voice was firm. “You accept him for who he is, not who you want him to be. He’s not going to stop being hard-working or clever or ambitious just because he happens to like boys more than girls. He doesn’t love you any less. You’re his world--are you going to take that away from him?”

“But what if Nori turns out the same way?”

“Then he turns out the same way and we accept him as well. I will not throw away my children. Any of them.”

“Dori isn’t…”

“If you throw him out, he will be. Because I won’t stand for it and if you won’t accept him, you don’t accept me and I won’t let him suffer for your bigotry.”

There was silence before Lori spoke. “Are you…?”

“I married you, didn’t I?”

“Right.” Another silence. “You make a fair point. I will think about this.”

“Good.” Dori heard a chair creek. “I’m going to bed, then.”

He scrambled back to his room as he heard Eileen come up the stairs.

*

The next morning, Dori went down to breakfast to find his father reading his paper and drinking coffee as usual. Eileen was chattering away about something Dis had said earlier that week while feeding Nori his breakfast, a process that always took upward of an hour.

“Good morning,” she called brightly as Dori came in.

“Morning,” Dori said. He glanced at his father, who was still behaving as usual.

“Get your breakfast, come on,” Lori said. “Need to get you to school on time.”

Dori nodded, a bit dazed as he went to make his tea and toast for the morning. Lori watched him, but other than that, it felt...normal. Like nothing had changed.

They left the house at seven as usual. Lori was quiet on the drive to school, but when they got to the parking lot, he stopped the car and turned to Dori.

“I’ve thought about it,” Lori said. “And your stepmother made several good points...so have a good day.”

“That’s it?” Dori asked.

“I won’t deny that I’m disappointed you won’t have any kids,” Lori said. “I always thought you’d be good with them. But...I think, once I’ve gotten used to the idea...well, nothing’s changed.”

Dori grinned and hugged his father. “Thanks, Dad,” he said.

And in the end, nothing really changed at all.

*****

Dori sat back down next to Nori. Nori had declined to speak, saying he wasn’t really good at it. Nori looked up at his brother. “I never knew any of that,” he whispered as Dis got up to speak.

“You never asked,” Dori pointed out.

Nori stared straight ahead. “I thought I knew everything about them,” he whispered. “I barely knew them at all.”

Dori squeezed his hand. “You knew their character,” he said. “You don’t need a story for that.”


	44. Broken Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scriver boys are home, but not whole.

The sun was very bright after days in the hospital. Ori blinked quite a lot when Dori led him outside to the car.

Ori faltered. He didn’t want to get in the car. He knew that it was unlikely to happen again, but he couldn’t lose Dori too.

“Ori?”

“I…”

“Come on, lad. I’ll be very careful.”

Ori glanced at Nori, following silently behind them. “We’ll be fine,” Nori said. “Dori drives like a grandma anyway.” His attempt at humor fell flat, but Ori took another breath and got in the car.

The drive home was silent. Dori drove more carefully than even he normally would and they reached the house without incident. Dori helped Ori from the car and they headed up the drive.

Nori stared at the house for a very long time before he finally followed his brothers inside. It looked…normal. A few things were out of place—Dori had cleaned a little and Nori could see that the bottle of Scotch Bofur had liberated had not been replaced—but otherwise it looked as it had when his parents had last left.

He moved through the house as though in a dream, following Dori and Ori up the stairs. Nori went to his room, the room that had so often alternated between prison and sanctuary. It looked exactly as it had before. Slightly messy, but comfortably so. Nori moved around the room, touching various things—his books, his CDs, his bed. He looked around and picked up the wooden fox Bifur had carved.

So many years had gone by since then, more than a full decade since Eileen had taken Nori across the street and left him with Betsy. To protect Ori. To make sure Ori would be safe and well. Nori snorted a bit. Everything was for that purpose, wasn’t it?

And now…now, she’d done it again and she wasn’t coming back.

Nori stared at the fox for a moment, resisting the urge to hurl it across the room. It was only the thought of how hurt Bifur would be if it was damaged that stopped him. Nori put the fox down on his dresser again and sat down on the bed, staring at nothing. He didn’t even move when Dori called him to dinner.

*

Hours later, Nori lay on his bed, unable to sleep. He stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything, about how he had barely known his parents, about how his future was completely up in the air now, about what they were supposed to be doing if his parents weren’t dead. It was December, they should have been preparing for Christmas…

A cry from the hall broke into Nori’s reprieve. He scrambled out of bed and ran to Ori’s room.

Ori was sitting up in bed, tears streaming down his face. Nori hurried to him. “Hush, Ori,” Nori murmured, pulling Ori into his arms. “You’re safe.”

Ori didn’t seem to hear him. He pushed Nori off, still crying but his breathing was shallow, gasping. Nori cursed and dove for the desk, looking for Ori’s inhaler. “Come on, come on,” he muttered. “Where is it?” He rummaged through the drawers, trying to remember where he’d last seen it…

The light clicked on just as Nori laid hands on the inhaler and brought it to Ori. Ori tried to grasp it but couldn’t. His breathing was more shallow than ever.

Dori appeared and took the inhaler from Nori’s hand, pressing the button to get it going. “Breathe, Ori,” Dori commanded, bringing the inhaler to Ori’s lips. Ori inhaled sharply and it seemed to help. Slowly, Ori calmed down, Dori rubbing his back. “What happened, sweet?”

“I dreamed…” Ori took several shuddering breaths. “I dreamed about them…about the crash…”

“Oh, Ori…” Dori and Nori exchanged a hopeless look. “It’s over now, sweetie…you’re safe…”

Ori reached out and grasped both of their hands. “Please…don’t go.”

Dori sighed and settled into the chair by the bed. Nori sat down on the bed next to Ori. Dori picked up the book on the desk. “I can read to you for a while,” he said.

Ori nodded and lay down. Nori petted his hair as Dori opened the book at the bookmark.

“‘The milkman was late. “Perhaps,” said Carey, as they stood in the grass by the side of the lane, “we could just run in and say good-by to Miss Price.”’”

Nori closed his eyes. It was a familiar story, old and maybe a bit young for him and Ori, but a good one. It was comforting. Dori’s voice rose and fell and soon Nori found himself drifting off to sleep.

*

“I’m keeping them.”

Dis looked up from her paper as Dori came into the kitchen. “Good morning to you too,” she said softly. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Dori sat down at the table. “I can’t just turn them over to other people or leave them on their own…I have to take care of them.”

Dis nodded. “I thought you’d say that,” she said. She glanced at him. “But?”

“But I need help.” Dori looked down, ashamed at having to admit it. “I mean…I don’t know how to look after them…I don’t know what they need…I’ve barely been in their lives lately and…and I don’t know them half as well as I would like.”

“We will help,” Dis promised. “At least, I will…she was my best friend. I owe her that much, at least.”

Dori nodded and accepted the cup of coffee Dis handed him.

“So are you taking them to Minneapolis?”

“No, we’ll stay here…my apartment isn’t really set up for kids and it will be less disruptive if they can be in their house, with their friends.” Dori sipped his coffee. “I just hope I can take care of them.”

Dis raised her eyebrows. “You’re thirty-two years old, you have a well-paying if very boring job, you’re smart, responsible, and you’ve got money saved, plus whatever Lori left you. I think you’ll be okay.”

Dori snorted. “Dad left us fifty thousand dollars and a mortgage, but yeah…we should be…I’m just…well, I’ve lived on my own too long.”

“Why?” Dis asked. “I mean, you’re not bad to look at, I guess.”

“Just never really found time for a relationship,” Dori mumbled. “And right now, it’s too soon after all this tragedy…and who’s lining up to date a gay man with two half-grown kids?”

“The ones who don’t want to date a middle-aged woman with two half-grown kids?” Dis said drily. “I get about thirty phone numbers a day at work.”

“Not bad for a woman your age,” Dori teased.

Dis swatted him. “I’m only five years older than you.”

They were silent for a few minutes, drinking their coffee. Dori felt more peaceful than he had in weeks, but it didn’t last too long. “I keep thinking,” Dori said suddenly. “About what would have happened if life had gone right.”

“What do you mean?” Dis asked.

“I mean…” Dori hestitated a moment. “I mean, what if my mum hadn’t died? We’d have stayed in London and…and I never would have had brothers, and I feel awful for thinking it, but…I wonder if I would have been happier. And Dad would still be here and…I don’t know. Maybe I’d have been better off in England. But…but I wouldn’t have Nori or Ori, I wouldn’t have seen you again, I wouldn’t have had the courage to ever tell Dad who I am...would that have been better?”

“I know what you mean,” Dis said. “I wonder, sometimes, what if Thorin hadn’t gone down that dark path? What if I’d stayed in high school and gone to school? What if I had become a doctor, or a singer, like I’d planned? But then I wouldn’t have met Vili, wouldn’t have my boys, would never have known Eileen…I wouldn’t have known any sort of heartbreak.” She took a sip of coffee. “And then I realized…I don’t have to wonder about if life had gone right, because…well…it has.”

Dori nodded. “Aye. Doesn’t feel like it right now, but…” He smiled softly. “You’re right.”


	45. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori and Nori need to grieve.

Nori turned down Bofur’s music speaker. “I know you can keep a secret.”

 “Aye… what is it?” Bofur looked up from the magazine he was reading.

 Nori joined him on the bed. “I’m… I’m still afraid. I shouldn’t be, right? It’s been a couple weeks since…”

 Bofur nodded.

 “And, we’re… doing fine enough. But I’m still afraid. But I don’t know exactly what I’m afraid of.”

 Bofur put the magazine aside. “I think it’s okay to still feel afraid. But I won’t tell anyone.” He slightly smiled.

 Nori nodded. “I also feel… really guilty. I shouldn’t have been so… so bad, you know?”

 “You were doing pretty good for a while.”

 “Yeah, but before… I caused them so much stress and trouble and…” Nori ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “They didn’t deserve that from me.” He put a hand over his mouth to stop a sob from escaping. “I loved them… and they didn’t deserve all that.”

 Bofur threw his arms around his friend’s shoulder and yanked him in close. “What matters is that you were doing really good for them.”

 “I was still wrong.” Nori’s voice came out muffled from Bofur’s neck. He sniffled and cleared his throat.

 Bofur didn’t say anything else, just held Nori.

 *        

 Dori grabbed a book from the shelf and laid back in his bed to read. He had left his door open, to listen for anything downstairs that might need his attention. Marnie had brought Gimli over to hang out with Ori, and she had volunteered to watch them. Still, that didn’t mean Dori was going to leave the house. He could get enough relaxing this way.

 Nothing out of the ordinary came to Dori’s attention for a while, until he heard the front door open and close. He set the book down, deciding it was a good time to check on Marnie and the two boys, anyway.

 “Everyone alright down-“ Dori started as he came down the stairs. He stopped when he saw Balin talking with Ori in the living room. “Oh, hello.”

 Balin turned to him with a warm smile. He told Marnie, Ori, and Gimli to keep enjoying themselves, then took Dori by the arm and pulled him into the kitchen. “How are you?” he asked in a low tone.

 Dori shrugged. “Fine, I suppose.”

 “Is Nori around?”

 Dori shook his head. “Staying the night with Bofur.”

 Balin nodded, then glanced into the living room at Marnie reading a magazine while the boys played a video game. He lightly teased, “You know, there’s no point in having a babysitter if you’re going to be home while she’s here.”

 “She’s not baby… okay, maybe she is, a little.” Dori ran a hand through his hair. “I just want to still be here, in case he needs me.”

 “I know, I understand.”

 Dori turned to the tea kettle. “Want any?”

 Balin put his hand on Dori’s forearm to stop him from going any further with the task. “I didn’t come for tea.” He cleared his throat. “Can we… take this upstairs?”

 “Uh… sure.” Dori put the kettle down, and feeling somewhat confused, lead his friend upstairs and to his room. “My old room.”

 Balin looked around the bedroom, noticing a couple of open boxes on the floor. “Still unpacking, then?” He started to close the door.

 “Not all the way closed. I want to keep an ear out.” Dori said. “Yeah… I didn’t have much to bring over from my apar- my old apartment. Still taking a while to settle in, though.”

 “It has only been… a week since Ori came home?”

 “About that,” Dori nodded.

 “He seems to be doing alright. Is he?”

 Dori blew out a breath and moved his book from the bed to the bedside table, and sat. “As well as can be expected, I think. He was anxious about getting in the car to come home, but that’s something that can be worked through. Had a couple panic attacks from nightmares of the accident…”

 “Unfortunately, all normal behavior after such a traumatic experience.”

 “I know, Oin told me. But it’s hard… I just want to protect him from it all.”

 Balin placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “And Nori?”

 “He’s… not very open with how he’s feeling with me. He’s been quieter since it happened, but I think he’s getting through it as well as he can, too.”

 “That’s all any of us can do.” Balin sat on the edge of the bed next to Dori. “And you?”

 Dori shrugged. “What about me?”

 “What do you mean, what about you? Lad, you’ve taken on a lot of the stress and decisions brunt of this. Within a week, you’ve gone from living on your own to… to becoming legal guardian of these two, and everything that comes with it.”

 “I’m… doing the best I can. Like you said, it’s all any of us can do, right?” 

 Balin was quiet for a moment. “What I’m getting at is that, with all of this on your shoulders, you haven’t… really had the time to grieve.”

 Dori sighed and ran his hand down his face. As much as he valued his time with Balin, sometimes he cursed the older man’s uncanny ability to somehow know things about people, like he was reading his mind with ease. “I’m providing for my brothers, that’s what matters.”

 “An admirable thing, don’t get me wrong. But, you’re not taking the time needed for yourself, to work through your own emotions.”

 “Everything… it all happened so fast…” Dori muttered. “It’s been… wow, nearly two weeks since the accident. So long, but so short at the same time…” he mused.

 “Dori, you need to take some time for yourself.”

 Dori turned to face Balin, biting his lip. “They need me… though Nori won’t admit it. I have to be here, for them.”

 “I’m not saying take a vacation or anything. Right now, I’m only asking for this evening. You haven’t… you haven’t let yourself cry much since it happened.”

 “That’s scary, you know that?”

 “Crying?”

 “No, you… just knowing.”

 Balin gave a short smile. “It’s served me well so far, mostly.” His expression faltered. “But I am being serious.”

 “I…” Dori clasped his hands together and stared down at them. “I need to be strong for them.”

 “They won’t think you’re weak because you cry or otherwise let yourself properly grieve. They’ll understand. You’re just as human as they are.”

 Dori heavily swallowed at the sudden lump that formed in his throat. Balin was right. He had been so focused on what was going to happen to them, and how they would get through this tragedy, that he hadn’t given much thought to himself, to how he felt about it all. He hadn’t cried much after his father and Eileen had died, had kept in the tears at the funeral. Nori, while he tried to hide his tears, Dori knew he still had. Ori most definitely had. But as for himself…

 A sob, loud and sudden, escaped from Dori’s throat. Balin got up and closed the door. Then he rushed back to Dori’s side, threw his arm over his shoulders, and pulled him in close. “It’s alright, lad. Let it out.”  

 The floodgates were now open. With the first sob, several gasping ones quickly followed. Tears stung at his eyes and blurred his vision, so he closed them, and also brought his hands up to his mouth to muffle the crying.

 “No, no… don’t do that.” Balin gently lowered Dori’s hands. “Let it out.”

 “Dad… Dad and Eileen…” Dori heavily swallowed, but couldn’t get past the lump in his throat. “They won’t… they’re not coming back…” He turned to Balin, tears now freely streaming down his face. At his friend’s unjudging and sorrowful expression, he tilted his head forward until his forehead rested on his shoulder. “I won’t ever… be able to call them again, chat about our days… I won’t ever have any of Eileen’s cooking, see her working on the house or the garden… Dad and I won’t go out to dinner again…”

 Balin wrapped his other arm around the younger man’s back, sliding his hand up to the back of his head.

 Dori pressed his face into Balin’s shoulder, his tears being soaked in by the shirt. He sobs came out harder, though they were muffled. “I was eleven when Mum died… same age as Ori now… It’s not the same, but it still…  it hurts the same… so much… hurts so much…”

 Balin nuzzled his nose against the side if Dori’s head, silently comforting him.

 “They… they deserved a long life. Nori and Ori… they deserved to have them longer…”

 “You deserved to have them longer,” Balin added.

 “They weren’t perfect… but they were good, did their best with all of us… And now, they won’t… I won’t ever… I can’t ever…” Dori’s words trailed off into open crying.

 Balin lost track of time as he held his friend, rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort into his ear.

 *

 Balin looked up at the soft knock on the door, and quietly called out, “Come in.”

 Marnie opened the door and came in a few steps, stopping at the sight of Balin sitting against the headboard, and a sleeping Dori half lying on him and holding him around the middle. She covered her mouth with her hand to suppress a giggle.

 “What’s so funny?”

 Marnie slyly smiled. “How long has it been since you’ve been in bed with a much younger man?”

 Balin raised his eyebrows and glared. “This is not what it might look like.” He cleared his throat. “As for your question, I’m not going to dignify it with an answer.”

 “Sure, Casanova.” Marnie’s expression turned concerned. “How is he?”

 “He cried himself to sleep, but it was a good thing. He needed to get all this out. He’s been so concerned with his brothers that he’s been purposely neglecting his own emotions.”

 “Yeah, not healthy to be doing that, despite the good intentions.” She checked her watch. “It’s getting late. Do you think I should take Ori home with Gimli? Both said they’d like a sleepover.”

 Balin nodded. “I don’t think Dori will be waking up anytime soon, and it would be good for Ori. Dori, too, since Nori is with Bofur tonight.”

 “A night alone with him, then?” Marnie replied, a teasing tone in her voice.

 “Nosy matchmaker, lass.”

 Marnie muffled a chuckle with her hand.

 “Besides,“ Balin gently pulled at Dori’s fingers fisted in his shirt. “I’m going to be stuck here awhile. I forget how strong he is, even when he’s asleep.” 

 Marnie warmly smiled. “Take care of him, and I’ll take care of Ori tonight. You can tell Dori he has his inhaler in his backpack.”

 Balin nodded. “Tell the lads goodnight for me, and have one yourself.”

 “You, too.” Marnie ducked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

 Balin let out a breath and looked down to the brown head of hair on his chest. His hand on the younger man’s back moved up to gently stroke through that hair.

 *

 Dori’s grip around Balin tightened for a couple seconds before letting go and the hands stretching. Balin smiled down at him. “Good night.”

 Dori looked up, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Then he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

 “Just after midnight.”

 Dori scooted of the edge of the bed. “I need to tuck Ori in, check on Nori…”

 “Settle down, they’re not here.”

 “What do you mean they’re not here?” Dori recalled, “Nori’s at Bofur’s. Where’s Ori?”

 Balin stood and gently grabbed the younger man’s arm to stop him from running off. “Marnie took him home with Gimli.”

 “She what?”

 “Thought it would be best for him, and nice for Gimli, too. I agreed.”

 Dori started for the stairs, but Balin tugged on his arm. “I need to check on him.”

 “He’ll be perfectly alright. If there’s any problems, she’ll call.”

 “Right, but-“

 “You know she’ll take it as an insult if you go swooping in there. That she can’t look after an eleven-year-old, despite raising her own child.”

 “I wouldn’t… wouldn’t mean it like that. It’s just-“

 “Ori has his medicine.” Balin took Dori’s other hand. “He’ll be alright, I promise.”

 Dori closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Okay. He can stay the night with Gimli.”

 “There’s a good lad.” Balin glanced down at their hands, and let go. “Care for tea?”

 Dori sighed. “I could use a cup.”

 They went downstairs, and Dori grabbed the kettle. Balin took it from him and tilted his head to the living room. Dori got the message and went to sit on the sofa.

 A few minutes later, Balin came in with two mugs of tea. Chamomile, by the aroma. Balin said, “Something to calm your nerves.”

 “Thanks.” Dori took a long sip from his mug.

 They didn’t really say anything, just sat and drank in companionable quiet. When they finished the tea, Balin took the mugs to the kitchen sink. He returned to his spot on the couch, and Dori looked at him for a short moment.

 Balin shifted fully back against the cushions, and slightly nodded. Dori half-smiled, drawing his legs up and laying his head on his friend’s lap. Balin’s hand came to rest on Dori’s side, and Dori snuggled back more against the other man. Dori’s hand found Balin’s free one, and loosely grasped the fingers.

 “Thank you,” Dori breathed.

 “Anything you need,” Balin replied, just as quietly.


	46. Real Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori's in trouble again, this time with higher stakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait. It's been a shit two months and a lot has happened. No promises about getting back on schedule, but we'll try.

Dwalin looked up as the doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and it was rare for anyone to ring. Nevertheless, he got up to answer the door.

He was surprised to find Ori on the other side, the boy’s face stained with tears.

“Evening, lad,” Dwalin said. “What’s the matter?”

“Dori and Nori are fighting again,” Ori said. “And they were really loud and they said really mean things and I didn’t wanna listen anymore so can I just stay here a while? Please?”

Dwalin sighed. “Of course,” he said. He led Ori inside. “Have you eaten yet?”

Ori shook his head. “They got distracted and forgot.”

“Well, I’ve got whatever Dis sent over,” Dwalin said. “You just sit and I’ll get us dinner, then you can tell me what happened.”

Ori sat down, hugging himself. “I don’t wanna bother you…”

“You’re not a bother,” Dwalin said. He set about heating up dinner. A few minutes later, he set two plates on the table. “Eat.”

Ori ate slowly, but he did look marginally less upset as he went. When they were finished, Dwalin put the dishes in the sink.

“Living room,” he said. He led Ori into the other room and sat him down on the couch. Dwalin then took his armchair. “All right, lad,” he said. “Tell me what happened.”

Ori sniffled a bit, but then began.

*

“Where’s your brother?” Dori asked.

“I dunno,” Ori said. “He said he was doing something after school today.”

Dori frowned. “He didn’t tell me. Did he say where he was going?”

“No,” Ori said. “He probably went with Bofur.”

Dori hummed in annoyance. “Do your homework,” he said.

Ori had just finished his math worksheet when the door opened and Nori came in, looking rather jaunty.

“And where have you been?” Dori demanded as Nori sauntered into the kitchen.

“Out,” Nori said.

“With who?”

“People.”

“And were you planning to tell me?”

“I was gone for an hour!”

“An hour when I had no idea where you were or if you were getting into trouble!”

“I wasn’t getting into trouble! Why do you always assume the worst?”

“You could have called!”

“I’m seventeen! I’m not a baby, Dori!”

“You’re my responsibility! Even if you’re not in trouble, I need to know that you’re safe!”

“You didn’t even want me, I just came lumped in with the good one!”

Ori couldn’t take it anymore. He abandoned his work and ran out the door and straight to Dwalin’s house.

*

“So here I am,” Ori finished. “I don’t like it when Dori and Nori fight but they don’t seem to do anything else!”

Dwalin sighed. He really was not good at this, but Ori trusted him and well, where else could the boy go? “I know Dori and Nori fight a lot,” he said. “And I know that’s hard on you. But…well, when people live together for a while, they have disagreements. Especially when they’re under stress, and all of you are under a lot of that. There have been a lot of changes in your lives in a very short amount of time, which is causing both Dori and Nori to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. As it happens, they also happen to have conflicting personalities…like your parents did. So they will fight a lot. It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, or you, any less. They just have different ways of reacting to stress…and they don’t know how to communicate that without shouting.”

Ori sniffed a bit. “I still don’t like it,” he said. “They don’t have to be mean to each other.”

“No,” Dwalin agreed. “But people…well, people say things they don’t mean.” He glanced at the clock. “You’d better get home now, before Dori starts worrying about you too.” He got up and offered his hand. “It’s getting dark, I’ll walk you.”

“It’s three doors down,” Ori mumbled, but he accepted Dwalin’s hand and they left the house.

Dori was on the porch when they arrived. He looked rather frantic. “Where have you been?” he demanded, dashing down and snatching Ori up in his arms.

“He’s been with me,” Dwalin assured him. “From what I understand, it was a bit loud over here.” He gave Dori a pointed look.

Dori had the decency to look a bit guilty. “Ori, go in,” he said. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes, Dori,” Ori said. “I’ll go do my reading now.” He went inside.

Dwalin reached out and caught Dori’s shoulder. “A word,” Dwalin said.

Dori sighed. “I should see to Ori,” he said.

“Ori’s fine,” Dwalin said. “Or he would be if he wasn’t upset.” He looked at Dori seriously. “You and Nori have got to stop fighting.”

Dori sighed. “I’d like to,” he said. “I really would, he’s just…impossible. I don’t know how Eileen managed him.”

“She managed him with love,” Dwalin said. “Did she ever tell you what method she used?”

“No,” Dori said. “I wasn’t really around…I didn’t need to know.” He sighed. “I feel like I just keep messing it up.”

“Try it,” Dwalin said. “When something goes wrong, ask yourself four questions: Was anyone hurt? Were the police involved? Was it his fault? And is he going to learn anything from you shouting at him?”

Dori nodded. “I’ll try to remember,” he said. “Thanks for looking after Ori.”

“Any time, lad,” Dwalin said, and headed off.

*

Nori didn’t want to get in trouble, exactly, but…well, things were difficult and he needed to do something. And he needed money if he was ever going to get out of Dori’s house.

The fact was that the house, the place where Nori had grown up and lived all his life, no longer felt like home. He kept expecting to arrive home and find his mother cooking dinner like usual, kept looking at the clock at 5:30 every evening expecting his father to come in, grey and tired but with a kiss for his wife. He kept waiting for his mother to wake him every morning, but getting Dori instead. He couldn’t take it—he had to get out of there.

He had considered just getting a job, but Dori wouldn’t let him, saying he needed to focus on his studies. Nori had argued—Fili and Kili had weekend jobs at the garage, and even Bofur worked after school as a stockboy. But Dori ignored those arguments. Nori almost wondered if Dori’s way of keeping him obedient was controlling just how much money Nori could get his hands on.

Well, he wasn’t just going to sit back and watch the world turn around him, that was certain. And if he couldn’t earn money…

That was how Nori found himself at the mall on Saturday, following two boys from school. James and Brendan weren’t exactly his friends, but they were pretty cool. And they knew what they were doing. They just needed Nori for his quick fingers.

“Where are we going?” Nori asked as they casually walked through the mall.

“Electronics,” James grunted.

Nori followed. It would be simple. Get in, grab a few mid-priced items, get out. Easy job, just like the ones they’d done before. Not that they’d done many—just a couple of little excursions, nothing major. Nori hadn’t made much money off of it, really. Brendan took care of the fencing and gave Nori a cut. Nori thought that what he got for his part was rather lacking, but he didn’t object. He really didn’t want to start fights with these guys.

They reached the electronics shop fairly easily. The three of them sauntered down the aisles. James would occasionally direct Nori to grab something, and Nori obeyed. On the other side, Brendan also picked up items.

It seemed okay until they turned to head back out the door and the alarms started blaring.

“Fuck,” James muttered. He and Brendan exchanged a look and before Nori could react, Brendan punched him across the face.

Nori fell, his head spinning. He felt someone rifle quickly through his pockets before he blacked out.

He must not have been unconscious very long, because when he woke up, it was to see a pair of black shoes in front of him before he was hauled to his feet.

“This the one?” the security guard asked.

“One of them,” the store clerk said. “The other two must have run for it.”

The guard shook Nori. “What happened to your friends?” he demanded.

Nori groaned. “They hit me and ran off,” he said.

“Tell me their names.”

Nori hesitated.

“Right. Maybe a visit to the police station will help,” the guard said.

Nori felt the handcuffs clasp around his wrist. He didn’t struggle, just followed the officer out of the mall and into a car.

*

Dori’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He frowned—normally people didn’t bother him on his days off. He looked at the screen and didn’t recognize the number. He picked up, a bit fearfully. “Hello?”

“Dori?” Nori sounded a bit worried and very upset. “Um…so you’re not going to like this…”

Dori sat up. “What did you do?” he demanded.

“I, um…might have gotten myself arrested…um…the sergeant said I could call you since I’m under eighteen, but they said you’ll have to bail me out, so…”

Dori closed his eyes and counted to ten. “What were you arrested for?” he asked.

“So, um…there are these guys, from school? And, um…they have a sort of…business going…”

“Nori.”

“Right. So anyway, I was picked up for shoplifting.”

Dori took a few deep breaths before he spoke again. “That’s your problem, not mine,” he finally said.

“Dori!”

“You chose to do something stupid. You’re almost an adult, and you seem to expect me to treat you like one. And since that’s the case, you can face the consequences for your actions like an adult.” He paused. “Did they say how long they’re keeping you?”

“Well, they said if I was good they’d let me go after a day or two, but…”

“Then I’ll come get you in a day or two.” Dori hung up the phone. He stared at the wall for a moment, willing himself not to punch it, before he picked up the phone again and called Dis.

She picked up almost immediately. “Make it quick, I have work in ten minutes.”

“Nori’s been arrested,” Dori said.

There was silence on the phone for a moment. “Oh, god, what for?” Dis asked.

“Shoplifting. Again.” Dori sighed. “What do I do, Dis?”

“Are you going to bail him out?”

“No,” Dori said. “I figure letting him sit in jail for a day or two might teach him a lesson. But after that…I’m going to need help. You know…from someone who knows how to do this. He hasn’t listened to me so far and I doubt he’s going to start now.”

“I see,” Dis said. “I think I can do that. But I don’t know if I’ll get through to him…I’m not his parent.”

“You’re closer to being his parent than I am,” Dori said.

“Maybe,” Dis said. “I can try…you might want to ask Dwalin for help as well. He’s not a parent, but Nori listens to him.”

“Right,” Dori said. “I’ll probably go get him tomorrow afternoon…I don’t want him to miss school. Can you be here?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it off tomorrow,” Dis said. “I’ll be there.”

*

It was a very subdued Nori who was brought up to the lobby of the police station the next afternoon. Dori almost felt bad when he saw the look of misery and the black eye on his brother’s face, but then he remembered the phone call he’d gotten from social services and gave Nori his most disappointed look.

Nori didn’t say a word as Dori conducted him to the car and drove him. When they got there, Nori got out and looked like he was going to head off somewhere.

“Oh no you don’t,” Dori said. “You’re coming inside and we’re going to have a talk.”

“What’s the point, Dori?” Nori asked. “You’ll tell me that Dad would be ashamed and I’ll tell you to butt out and we’ll scream at each other for a while until either I storm out or you lock me in my room.”

“That’s why I’ve got help,” Dori snapped. He grabbed Nori’s upper arm and steered him inside.

Dis and Dwalin were waiting at the kitchen table, both giving Nori a look he knew well. For a moment, he could almost imagine that it was his parents glaring at him, but he blinked and the image was gone.

Instead, Nori rolled his eyes. “Really? What is this, a fucking intervention?”

“Watch your mouth,” Dwalin said. “And yes, I suppose we can call it that.”

“We just want to help you, Nori,” Dis said. “You’re acting out, and it’s getting you into trouble. We need to know what’s going on so we can help you get to a better place.”

“You know what’s going on,” Nori said. “My parents are dead and I want out of here. It’s not my fault that Dori still thinks I’m a baby.”

“That’s not—” Dori began, but Dis held up her hand.

“Nori, I know this is difficult,” she said. “You’re going through one of the most difficult things a person can at a very young age. I understand you’re angry. I understand that you want to have your freedom. But you’re still a child and Dori is trying to take care of you. I know you don’t like his decisions, but…”

“But nothing,” Nori said. “I hate this, Dis! I hate being here, expecting to see my parents come home again! I hate seeing Ori cry all the damn time and not being able to help him! I hate having Dori control me when I’m old enough to make my own choices! I hate it and I want out, but I don’t have a way out!”

“There’s always a way out,” Dwalin growled. “You’re just looking for the easy way out. And don’t pretend you haven’t done it before, your mother spent plenty of time telling me that she was worried about you. If you want a way out, you’d better work for it rather than give your brother more to worry about. You’re damn lucky that they let you out without charges.”

“Only because I ratted out the others,” Nori muttered.

“Which was good,” Dis said. “If people are influencing you to do bad, you should tell someone. Maybe next time, you’ll remember that before you’re in jail.”

“Right, thanks,” Nori said. “I’ll remember to be a good boy and hang out with the good Christian kids at school, then.”

“Nori…”

“What, Dis?” Nori asked. “What do you want me to do? I fucked up, okay? Is that what you want? For me to just say that I’m a bad kid and promise not to do it again?”

“That would be a start,” Dwalin growled.

“You’re not a bad kid,” Dis said, glaring at Dwalin. “You’re just going through hard times and you’re reacting poorly.” Her pleasant tone disappeared. “But that is not an excuse. I may not be your mother…”

“Give the lady a cookie,” Nori muttered.

“But you need to believe that we just want what’s best for you,” Dis continued as though there had been no interruption. “We’re not lecturing you because we’re angry. We’re concerned. So tell us—what can we do to help?”

“You can start by staying out of my life,” Nori snarled.

“Nori,” Dori said in a warning tone.

“What?” Nori asked. “I’m seventeen, I don’t need to be looked after! Just let me out, Dori…let me get a job so I can get out of your hair!”

Dori exchanged a look with Dwalin and Dis. “I want you to focus on school,” Dori said. “Your grades are slipping and there’s been enough disruption in your life lately. I don’t want to overburden you.” He paused. “But we can make a deal. If you get A’s this quarter, I’ll let you get a weekend job. How does that sound?”

Nori glared before he relaxed. “Fine,” he said.

“And that also depends on you not getting into trouble,” Dori added. “Another incident like this and you’re not going anywhere until you’re eighteen, period.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” Dori sighed. “You’re grounded until report cards come. Go to your room.”

Nori glared and stomped upstairs.

*

Nori opened his eyes and glanced over to his window when he heard a knock on it. He knew who it was before he saw Bofur balancing on the tree outside. For a second, Nori considered not letting him in, unable to take another well-meaning lecture about his bad choices. But he couldn’t shut his best friend out like that.

 With a heavy sigh, Nori got up from his bed and opened the window. Bofur climbed in and closed it behind him.

 Bofur winced at the bruise over Nori’s eye. “Did a cop do that?”

 Nori shook his head. “Assholes betrayed me as soon as the alarm went off.”

 Bofur rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want to say I told you so about them.”

 “Well, you just did. I already feel bad enough, thanks.”

 “That’s a good thing, aye?”

 Nori let out a long breath. “Suppose so…” He swatted Bofur’s hand away from his face. “Its fine, doesn’t really hurt that much.”

 Bofur dropped his arm and sat on the edge of the bed. “So… are you going to listen to them this time?”

 Nori fell backwards onto the bed and folded his arms over his chest. “I was doing so good, and then… I don’t know. Couldn’t take it anymore, I guess.”

 “Couldn’t take adults trying to help you work through all the shit that’s happened and get you a good lot in life?”

 Nori groaned. “When you put it like that…”

 Bofur laid down on his side facing his friend and sighed. “They love you, you know? Why would you want to throw that away?”

 “That’s not what I want…”

 “Thing is, if you keep up like this… my family… I don’t want them to hate you, to not want us to be friends anymore.” Bofur swallowed heavily. “I need you, but I also need them. Please, don’t put me in that position.”

 “I’m sure you could find someone better than me,” Nori tried to say lightly.

 Bofur shook his head. “Not if I don’t want someone else.”

 “You mean that?”

 “Of course I do.” Bofur scooted forward to gently headbutt his friend. “So try to do right. I… I don’t want to end up losing you too, to jail or whatever else could happen to you if you continue on.”

 “Yeah… I…” Nori’s voice trailed off as he closed his eyes.

Bofur curled up next to Nori and soon both were asleep.


	47. Durin's Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys decide to form a band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...remember this story? Yeah, well, it's coming back! Hopefully with at least some regularity (haha)!

Bofur lay on his back in Fili and Kili’s room, listening to the two of them messing around on their guitars. Whatever they said about “composing,” it all sounded rather…incomplete.

Nori sat by him, occasionally hitting a bass note but sounding rather disinterested. He had finally managed to get his grades up, but Bofur could tell the strain and pressure were getting to him. Bofur frowned and hummed a few bars of the song.

“Hey, Fili,” Bofur said, sitting up suddenly. “Have you tried adding a keyboard to that yet?”

Fili shrugged. “I would, if I could play a keyboard,” he said. “Why? You wanna move this to your house and hope we don’t bother your ma too much?

“She won’t care,” Bofur said. “She’ll probably enjoy it. I just think you’re lacking depth in that.”

“It’s a whiny song about being an asshole,” Fili said. “I don’t know how much depth can be injected into it.”

“I mean depth of sound,” Bofur said. “You know…like a real rock band would do it.”

“We don’t have a real rock band,” Nori muttered. “What, do you plan to get Erebor back together just to record Simple Plan’s castoffs?”

“Hey!” Kili said. “It’s not that bad!”

Nori gave him a look and Kili sighed. “Okay, it is,” he conceded. “But you’re right—we don’t have a real rock band.”

“Why not?” Bofur asked. “I mean…you two play guitar and Nori plays the bass okay when he can be arsed to practice…”

“Hey!” Nori protested.

Bofur ignored him. “And I can play the keyboard…we’re just missing a drummer.”

“Ori plays drums,” Nori said.

“Ori’s a kid,” Bofur pointed out.

“You play percussion in the marching band,” Kili said.

“That’s not drums.”

“Well, learn drums!” Fili said, suddenly sitting up. “We can get a keyboard that you can record and preprogram on so you don’t have to actually play…” His eyes were shining. “We could form a rock band!”

Nori and Kili exchanged looks. “I mean…” Kili said. “What would we even do? Just keep jamming here?”

“We could ask Thorin,” Fili said. “I mean…Erebor was doing pretty well, even before they got a big contract. Maybe he could help us find places to really perform.”

“Dori would never let me,” Nori said. “He’s already reluctant to let me work part-time washing dishes…he’d never go for the idea of me being a musician.”

“Why not?” Bofur asked. “Honestly, if I were Dori, I’d be glad you were doing something that keeps you out of trouble. And it’s not like we’re asking you to quit school to go dream the impossible dream or whatever. It’s just…you know…a hobby. A thing we can do on weekends when we aren’t working. And if it leads to some performances and extra cash on the side…”

Fili looked at his brother pleadingly. “Ki,” he said. “You know I don’t ask you for much…but we were made for this. Yeah, we can work as mechanics forever, but…we were meant to make music, I can feel it. And I know…what happened to Thorin sucks. But that won’t happen to us. We know better…we’ll be better.”

Kili sighed, but then nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m just afraid Mama won’t like it.”

“This is our life, Kili, not hers,” Fili said. “Whatever she wants…whatever she regrets…you can’t let it dictate who you become.”

“Yeah,” Nori said suddenly. “Who cares what they want?” He smiled at the boys. “I mean…they’ll disapprove no matter what we do…why not do something we love?”

“That’s the spirit!” Bofur said. “Come on…let’s try this!” He got up and headed downstairs. The other boys followed.

*

_I tried to make_

_A new revision,_

_But I’m just made_

_Of bad decisions._

_And I’ll face you_

_When I won’t meet derision,_

_When I’ve made my_

_Last bad decision._

“That does sound better,” Kili said as the song ended. “I dare to say we sound…good.”

“Yeah,” Nori agreed. “I still think that song is a Simple Plan reject.”

“I don’t see you writing songs,” Fili snapped.

“Hey, hey!” Bofur said. “I like Simple Plan! Anyway, we do sound good.” He grinned. “We should keep doing this.”

“We need a name though,” Fili said. “Something for the crowds to scream.”

“What crowds?” Kili asked. “You see anyone lining up for your autograph?”

“I’ll have you know that at least five girls have already asked me to prom,” Fili snapped.

“And you turned them all down,” Bofur pointed out.

Fili shrugged. “Gotta play the field,” he said. “Want me to throw a few of them your way?”

“Not really my area,” Bofur said. “But that’s irrelevant. We were looking for a name.”

“You don’t settle on a name right away,” Nori said. “You…how did you put it?...Play the field.” He grinned. “We start out with a really stupid name and choose a new one every week until we find one that gets us a second gig.”

The other three exchanged a look. “Or we could choose something good now and stick with it,” Fili suggested.

“Yes, because you’re great with words,” Nori said.

“Pick one of our names, then,” Bofur said. “Can’t go wrong with that, can we?”

“Durin’s Sons,” Kili said quietly.

The others looked at him. “That’s…not bad,” Nori admitted. “But who says you get to be the frontman?”

“I don’t,” Kili said. “Fili does. Lead guitar is always the frontman. And the frontman gets his name in the band name.”

“Erebor,” Bofur and Nori said together.

“Yeah, well,” Fili said. “We can’t all invent a whole new language just to sing to.”

Nori shrugged. “Durin’s Sons it is,” he said. “We can still change it next week.”

The others all laughed.

*

“So have you heard what the boys are up to now?”

Dori looked up from his tea. “Something about starting a band?”

Dis nodded as she started a pot of coffee. “Stupid idea if you ask me,” she said. “They’re smart boys, they could go on to college…have some stability in their lives.”

Dori snorted. “College? Nori? I’ll be lucky if he finishes high school. And if I know Fili, he’ll be happier working with Thorin for the rest of his life.”

“But Kili and Bofur could go,” Dis said. “I want Fili to go, but…I know he probably won’t, he’ll want to work so Kili can…and it would do Betsy good to think her son could finish uni…”

“Relax, Dis,” Dori said. “Every teenager joins a band at some point, and most of them fizzle out after a few jam sessions. What’s the harm in letting them play some music together?”

“I don’t know,” Dis admitted. “But…after Erebor…”

Dori sighed. “I know,” he said. “But they know better. Neither of us will let them get into a situation like that.”

Dis nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she said. “And I have to admit, they don’t sound awful…most of the time.”

Dori grinned. “And that’s why I’m glad they practice somewhere else.”

*

“Uncle Thorin?”

Thorin looked up from the engine he was working on. “Yes?”

Fili shifted a bit. “So…you remember I mentioned the lads and I were going to be a band?”

Thorin raised an eyebrow. “I remember,” he said. “Why are you bringing it up now?”

“Well…” Fili swallowed. “I just…it’s the only chance I’ve had to talk…”

“I’m working,” Thorin snapped, going back to the engine.

Fili sighed and looked back at his own work. “But…I promised to talk to you,” he persisted.

Thorin sighed back and looked up. “Fine. What do you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Well…we like doing it,” Fili said. “And…we want to play for other people…you know. Gigs. Concerts. That sort of thing. And…we wondered how we get them.”

Thorin looked over at him thoughtfully. “I might know some people,” he finally admitted. “But I’d like to hear you first…I’m not going to call in favors if you’re going to embarrass me.”

“I won’t!” Fili said. “I mean…we won’t.” He grinned. “You can come to practice tomorrow…if you want.”

“I’d be delighted,” Thorin said. “Now that those brake pads replaced before Marnie comes back here and catches you slacking.”

Fili grinned. “Thanks, Uncle.”

*

Thorin looked at the boys thoughtfully. Four eager, pleading gazes met his.

“Not bad,” he finally said. “Not bad at all.” He sat up. “But there are a few things to work on. First, you might want to consider use of a metronome for a little while—you played the same song three times at different tempos.”

“Sorry,” Bofur said. “Still getting used to drumming.”

“I can tell,” Thorin said. “Don’t forget the Beatles—nothing kills a band faster than a bad drummer. Go see Dwalin, he can give you a crash course.”

“Pun intended?” Bofur shot back.

“Watch it,” Thorin warned. “Next thing—you’re playing all original songs.”

“Well, yeah,” Fili said. “We’ve been writing them and…”

“And they’re not terrible, for what they are,” Thorin said. “But you’re only sixteen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but anything you write at sixteen is going to be terrible in five years. I suggest you learn a set of songs to cover, for your gigs once you have them. You can play the original stuff later in the evening when the crowd’s warmed up.”

“But if we just play covers, no one will care about us,” Fili whined.

Thorin raised an eyebrow. “You have to earn their attention,” he said. “Do you think we started out in the London bars playing our music? You gotta give them something familiar first.”

Fili sighed. “Fine.” He grinned. “I think we can play ‘Diamonds of Friendship, Diamonds of Trust,’”

Thorin glared at him. “Do you want my help?”

“Sorry,” Fili said.

“Now, about your arranging…it’s decent, but it lacks tension. There’s nothing challenging in it. It’s all just I-IV-I chords and nothing else.” Thorin reached out his hand and Fili immediately handed over his guitar. “Go back to that last song…let’s try something different.”

*

Dis looked out her window as she drank her fourth cup of coffee, lost in thought. She barely looked up when Thorin came in.

“Dis?”

She jumped a bit. “Oh…hello,” she said. “How was the practice?”

“Not as awful as I thought,” Thorin said, heading for the coffee pot. “They’re talented, Dis…really talented. With enough time…they’ll make something of themselves.”

Dis sighed. “Thorin, how can you…?”

“Dis.” Thorin looked at her seriously as he sat down. “This is what they want. This is what they’re good at. And…well, maybe it’s childish, but…I want to show the world that I won’t fuck up every time. That I can mean something, even if it’s only through them.”

Dis stared at him for a moment before she let out her breath. “Fine,” she said. “Do whatever you can to help. It’s their choice, I can’t say no.”

The door opened again and Fili and Kili came in, talking excitedly. Dis smiled a bit and called them over. “Boys,” she said. “I’ve been thinking it over and I’m going to let this band thing happen on a few conditions.”

Fili and Kili glanced at each other and sat down. “Yes?” Fili said apprehensively.

“First,” Dis said. “You both finish high school, no matter what.”

“Yes, Mama,” Fili said.

“That means,” Dis said, glancing at Thorin. “If and when you start playing concerts or gigs, it’s on weekends and holidays. You don’t miss school for this, no matter how good the gig is. Understood?”

“Yes, Mama,” Kili said.

“Second, you read every damn word of any contract you sign,” Dis said, her voice pitching up a bit. “All the fine print, all the minutiae. You don’t skim anything. If you don’t understand anything, ask Balin, or call Cousin Dain. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand.” She shot Thorin a look.

“Yes, Mama,” Fili said.

“Third,” Dis said. “You never, ever let whatever success you have get to your heads. If you come home thinking you’re too good to be mechanics, or waiters, or anything, you’ve gone too far. Being a musician is no better than being anything else.”

“Yes, Mama,” Kili said.

“And you listen to whatever rules Dori and Brian set,” Dis added. “Because I’m sure they’ll have a few things to say.”

“Yes, Mama,” the boys said together.

“Good,” Dis said. “Now, homework time.”

The boys scampered off.

Thorin shook his head. “You could have just told them to not be like me,” he said.

“They love you,” Dis said. “They idolize you. I had to be more clear than that.” She smiled a bit. “So…when will they be ready for their first gig?”

Thorin shrugged. “Maybe sometime this summer. Once they’ve polished up a bit more.”

Dis nodded. “Let me know when and where…I want front row seats to every concert.”

Thorin took her hand. “That’s a promise.”

 


	48. Graduation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High school is over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we're still alive. Yes, we're still writing this story. Yes, it's almost finished.

“Feels weird, doesn’t it?”

Nori looked over at Bofur. They were out in the schoolyard at lunch time. “What?”

“That this is our last lunch time here.” Bofur sipped at his Coke, surveying the yard. “I mean…four years, you and I have sat on this table and lorded over them all…what do we do after this?”

On his other side, Fili laughed. “Kili and Bombur and I can keep lording over them,” he said.

“Not the same, though,” Bombur said.

“Personally, I’ll be glad to be out of here,” Nori said. “Once I’m done with school…well…Dori’s got no more hold over me.”

“So what next for you?” Kili asked. “I mean…you didn’t even apply to university, did you?”

“Of course not,” Nori said. “Didn’t have the grades…and I’m tired of school. I need to do something else.” He shrugged. “Dwalin said he’d teach me mechanics, and we’ve got the band now…I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” He nudged Bofur. “What about you?”

“I mean…I got accepted to the university,” Bofur said. “But with Ma…I don’t know if I’ll go.”

“It’s only in Minneapolis,” Fili said. “You could commute if you wanted.”

“Yeah,” Bofur said. “I guess.”

“You need to go,” Bombur said. “Dad would be so disappointed if you didn’t. And Ma…” He swallowed. “Well…she’s made it this far. What happens next will happen, whether you’re in school or not.”

Bofur nodded. “I guess that settles it,” he said. “I start up again in the fall.”

“You’ll be great,” Nori said. “And it’s not like you’re leaving us.”

“Of course not,” Bofur said. “I could never leave you.” He grinned. “After all, you still need a drummer.”

*

“Mattocks, Bofur.”

Bofur walked onto the stage, smiling as he took his diploma. He could hear his family clapping and he grinned up at them before going back to his seat. He glanced back a few rows, to where Nori was waiting. Nori gave him a brief thumbs up.

It took a few minutes for Nori to be called up, and when he took his diploma, the noise was just as loud as it had been for Bofur. Nori smiled for a bare second before he returned to his seat.

The ceremony was very boring, but at last it ended and Bofur and Nori had rejoined their families, all blended together. To Nori’s intense shock, Dori caught him up in a rib-cracking hug the moment he got to him.

“I’m so proud of you,” Dori said. “And I know Dad and Eileen would be too.”

Nori swallowed heavily, blinking back tears as Dori let go and Dis took over. “Come on,” she said. “Party will be starting soon.”

Nori nodded and followed.

Bofur was saying goodbye to several other graduates. Before he could escape, one of the girls from his class had thrown her arms around him and planted a kiss on his mouth.

“I’ll miss you,” she said.

“Thanks, Clair,” Bofur said, gently extracting himself from her embrace. “I’ll miss you too…KU, right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Keep in touch!”

Bofur nodded and hastily escaped back to his family.

Betsy embraced him at once. She had been unusually lucid today, for which Bofur was grateful. “Look at you,” she said. “All grown and educated and off to university!” She kissed his cheek. “I’m so proud.”

Bofur smiled. “Thanks, Ma,” he said.

“You make me so happy,” she said. “I won’t ever forget that.”

*

The graduation party lasted well into the night. Nori knew that everyone was trying very hard to only discuss his accomplishments and not his shortcomings, and he was suddenly very aware of how much the latter outweighed the former.

Still, it wasn’t bad, and by the time most everyone had left, the boys were still in good spirits, as were their various parents, which is probably why Dori agreed that all of them could stay over at the Scriver house that night.

They settled in the living room, in a large circle, all eight of them, Ori and Gimli both amazed to be included. They laughed and joked and Nori felt…calm. Happy in a way he hadn’t been since his parents had died.

Fili glanced over at Bofur with a slight grin. “So…I noticed Clair Nelson getting awfully close to you back at the stadium.”

Bofur sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “I knew she had a crush, but…”

“You’re not keen?” Kili asked. “Cause Clair’s pretty hot.”

“She’s pretty,” Bofur said. “But…I’m not into girls. At all.”

They were quiet for a minute before Nori snorted. “No shit?” he said. “I mean…come on, I was pretty much your prom date and you’ve never shown any interest in anyone.”

Bofur glanced at him. “You don’t mind?” he asked, sounding oddly concerned.

“Mind?” Nori asked. “Bofur, I…” He glanced around the circle. “I’ve been seeing someone,” he said. “A boy from a different school. Don’t think it’s going to last, but…there it is.”

“You’ve had girlfriends, though,” Ori piped up.

“I like both boys and girls,” Nori said. “The word is bisexual, and that’s what I am.”

“Me, too,” Kili said suddenly. “I mean…people are all so pretty…why choose one or the other?”

“I just like girls,” Fili said. “I know that’s not brave or anything, but…girls are great.”

Bofur grinned. “You can have them,” he said. He glanced at his brother. “You got anything to contribute, Bom?”

Bombur grinned back. “I like food,” he said, and the others all laughed.

*

It was a few days after graduation that Nori approached Dori in the kitchen. “Dori?”

“Hmm?” Dori looked up from his tea. “What is it?”

Nori took a breath. “I…I’m moving out,” he announced.

Dori stared for a moment. He didn’t look angry, or upset. He seemed resigned. “When and where?”

“Next month, and to a different neighborhood. I just…” Nori sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “None of us are happy with me here…I need my own space, Dori. You know that. And I’ve managed to save money from my job, and I’ve got interviews lined up for a second one, so…”

“What’s your rent?” Dori asked.

Nori hesitated. “Eight hundred a month,” he said.

“I’ll give you the first month,” Dori said. “As your graduation present…give you time to get on your feet.”

“Dori…”

“You’re right,” Dori said. “You’ll be happier out of here.”

Nori nodded. “Thank you,” he said. “For letting me go.”

Dori stood and hugged him. “You’re my brother,” he said. “And you’re always welcome to come back.”

*

Nori stood in his apartment—all his, no one to share with. He looked around the studio space, small and empty, but his. He breathed deep, feeling all the space around him.

There were boxes stacked along the wall, a mattress on the floor in the corner. He’d have a lot of unpacking to do, but that was all right. He was free, free to make his own way, his own mistakes.

There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” he called.

The door opened and Bofur came in, smiling. “Looks great,” he said. “Your very own shoebox.”

Nori shrugged. “I’ll take it,” he said. “I mean…it’s kind of shitty, but…”

“Yeah,” Bofur said. “You sure you’ll be okay on your own?”

“I’m sure,” Nori said. “But you can always come visit.”

“Oh, I plan to,” Bofur said.

Nori nodded and went to a box. He opened it and carefully took out the top item, the little wooden fox Bifur had made so long ago. He looked around and finally set it up on the only shelf still up from the previous tenant. “There,” Nori said. “I’m already home.”

Bofur smiled softly. “Perfect.”


	49. Decline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betsy's illness gets worse.

 It was only two weeks after Bofur had graduated when there was another Mattocks-Smith family meeting.

 Brian held onto his wife’s hand tightly on the dining room table. “It’s…” he bit his lip, the rehearsing of how he would say this news failing him now that he actually had to do it. A lump rose in his throat, and he had to force out, “It’s time.”

 The rest of the family knew what that meant. Peg took her sister’s other hand. Brian continued on. “At her check-up today… the doctor said she’s… they’ll have a room ready for her by the start of next week.”

 “How long… will she be in the hospice?” Bifur asked, finding another way to word the question that it truly was.

 “They don’t…” Brian shook his head. “They don’t know.”

 Betsy spoke up, very quiet, “They wouldn’t keep me there unless it was soon.”

 Peg dropped her head down to the table, on top of her hand holding Betsy’s.

 “Already?” Bofur couldn’t help but ask. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since…”

 “Memory’s a funny thing,” Betsy tried to say lightly. No one laughed or could even smile at the attempt.

 “So… I’ll be sorting through all the hospital paperwork this weekend,” Brian said. “Get everything in order.”

 “We’ll still be able to visit you, right?” Bombur asked.

 “Of course you will,” Betsy assured.

 Bombur looked to his brother, and both were determined to visit as much as they could.

 Brian let out a long breath. “That’s all we had to say. We’re sorry.”

 Bofur and Bombur barely left their mother’s side for the rest of the evening.

 ********

 “She’ll be in the hospice next week,” Bofur said flatly to his friends, laying with him in the grass in a circle, their heads in the middle.

 “Which means they expect it to happen soon,” Bombur added.

 “Damn… I’m so sorry, guys,” Fili said first.

 “If there’s anything we can do to help-“ Kili started.

 “I wish there was,” Bofur sighed.

 The five boys were quiet, letting the information sink in. Then Nori said under his breath, “At least you knew.”

 Bofur turned over onto his front to look at his friend. “What?”

 “At least you knew,” Nori said, louder this time. “I mean… so you could prepare for it.”

 Bofur pushed himself up to his feet and stood over Nori. “You think that’s good, that we knew?”

 Nori got up to his knees. “I mean-“

 “We’ve had this hanging over our heads for years!” Bofur nearly shouted, voice cracking at the end from raw emotion.

 “Bofur, he didn’t-“ Bombur started, trying to diffuse the situation.

 “We’ve been watching her get worse and worse… not knowing what she would or wouldn’t remember or understand and-“

 Nori fully stood and stepped in close to Bofur. “All I was saying was that I didn’t have a chance to prepare. It just… it just happened for us. Dori just called me up out of the blue and told me to be ready for him to pick me up. And then… Oin having to tell us that our whole world had been thrown upside-down…”

 The other three had gotten up as well, in case this turned physical. Bofur’s hands clenched into fists, though not from wanting to hit anything, and he breathed heavily.

 “How could we possibly have understood what had happened and why?” Nori continued. “How could I understand in that moment that both my parents were gone, and would never come back?”

 Bofur swallowed heavily, remembering them all doing their best to comfort Nori. How had that only been six months ago? His voice volume lowered, to an almost serene state. “Maybe… maybe it’s better that way. Not knowing… not a worry…”

 “Better?” Nori repeated in disbelief. “One minute they were there, the next they weren’t, with no warning!”

 At the rise of Nori’s voice, Fili stepped between them. “That’s enough. It sucks, but-“

 “You can’t imagine that!” Nori shouted. “Just a ‘your parents are fucking dead, I’m sorry!’ Where the only warning was the expression on Oin’s face that something had suddenly gone very wrong right before he tells you.”

 “She’s been dying for over three years! Slowly, steadily… Yeah, we had warning, but yesterday…. Yesterday felt nearly as bad as when we had been told the diagnosis.”

 Bombur grabbed Bofur’s arm. “Come on-“

 Bofur wrenched his arm from his brother’s grasp, and stepped in close to Nori, their noses almost touching. “Trying to act like everything’s alright, that you aren’t losing her a little every day. And sometimes you believe it, but then something little occasionally happens that reminds you. Her calling Bifur by his dad’s name, forgetting that she was cooking and burning the food, reading the same page in a book several times… And you know a day might come when she doesn’t remember who you are, might forget you completely!” His voice dropped to a low hiss. “So yeah, we knew. But I can tell you I’m not prepared for when the day comes when it’s finally too much for her. I don’t think any of us are. Don’t you dare tell me ‘at least you knew.’”

 With that, Bofur turned and stalked away from the group. The other four could only stand there in shock at the outburst. Bombur bit his lip to stop it from quivering as his eyes shone with welling tears.

 “I’m sorry,” Nori swallowed. “I didn’t mean for it to… to go that far…”

 Fili awkwardly patted Nori’s shoulder. “No, it’s… he’s just… grieving. I mean…” he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

 Nori dropped down to a crouch and put his face in his hands. “Fuck, I’m sorry…”

 ********

_Few remember_

_The way that it was_

_Or the way it could be._

_Few remember_

_The things that once were_

_And the song of the sea._

_We live our lives alone_

_Afraid and never whole._

_One day we fade away_

_Into the night of a distant day._

_Few remember who we are,_

_Few remember what we’ll see._

_And I fear the day will come_

_When few will remember me._

  Bifur came to the end of the song, and let the piano fade out with his voice. He raised a hand to wipe at his wet eyes, and jumped when a voice said from behind him, “I always thought you would be a Galadriel fan.”

 Bifur turned on the piano bench to see one of the community center front desk workers.

 “The door was open,” the young woman said in explanation.

 “I guess my previous student left it open. Sorry.”

 “Don’t be. It was nice. You have a beautiful voice.”

 “Thank you,” Bifur wiped at his eyes again, the emotion of the song affecting him still.

 “Are you… are you alright?”

 Bifur cleared his throat. “If I’d realized the door was open, I wouldn’t have done that song.” He sighed. “It’s… quite a personal one right now.”

 “It is one of her more sad ones.”

 “I’m sorry, Casey. I’ll be fine by the time my next student comes.”

 Casey sat on the bench next to Bifur. “Want to talk about it?”

 “Family tragedy. It… it hasn’t happened yet, but it will, soon.”

 Casey’s eyes widened. “Who?”

 “Betsy,” Bifur breathed.

 “I’m so sorry. I haven’t seen her in a while, but I thought that was because Bofur and Bombur are old enough to come in on their own. I didn’t know-“

 “We’ve… we’ve known this would happen for a long time now.” Bifur switched to the sleeve of his tshirt to dab at his still-wet eyes. “Doesn’t… doesn’t make it much easier, I suppose, but…” He suddenly found himself wrapped in a tight hug.

 “If you need anything, anything at all, let us know. Time off, someone to talk to, whatever.”

 “Thank you.” Bifur hugged Casey back. He didn’t let go as he said, “Bombur told me he heard “Few Remember” on the radio right after we were told her diagnosis. It is-“ He slightly choked on the words. “It is rather fitting.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 Bifur pulled back, and put a watery smile on. “It’s just hit us hard now. Yesterday we were told she’ll be put in the hospice next week. Which means…”

 Casey nodded in understanding.

 Bifur let out a hard breath as he stood and wiped at his damp cheek. “I should go to the bathroom. Make sure I’m presentable before Jake comes.”

 Galadriel’s lyrics played in his head as Bifur left the music room and splashed water on his face at the bathroom sink.   

 ********

 Bombur looked up from the skillet of meat and vegetables that he was cooking for himself, Ori, Gimli, Kili, and Dori for dinner as the adult came in.

 “Smells quite good,” Dori complimented. “Dis might be on to something with hiring you to cook for us sometimes.”

 “As long as all of you don’t fight over who gets me,” Bombur laughed. “Take-out and eating out is fine, but sometimes, you just can’t beat home-cooked meals.”

 Dori suddenly looked wistful. “Yeah…”He cleared his throat, and quietly asked, “How was your mother today?”

 Bombur sighed. “As well as expected.” After a moment, he suddenly blurted out, “Your ma… cancer, right?” He was grateful for the sudden victorious shout from the living room from Gimli playing a video game with the other two boys preventing them from overhearing.

 Dori froze at the unexpected question. “Yes… yes, it was.”

 Bombur refocused his eyes on his cooking. “Not… not that this is the same thing, but…”

 “No, it’s… it’s similar enough.”

 “Um… how long did you know, before she…?”

 “A few months, I think. I was only eleven and didn’t fully understand it at the time.”

 Bombur opened the oven to check the breadrolls before responding. “You understood what would happen, though?”

 “I… I understood that she was getting sicker, especially when she was put in the hospital. Father told me what would happen, but I hoped she would… recover and come back home.” Dori swallowed heavily. “I don’t think I could imagine any other outcome.” He stared into the sizzling skillet. “I rarely saw Father cry, but he did the first day she was in hospital.”

 “I’m older than you were, and we’ve been living with this longer than you did, but I… I don’t think… I’m not ready for it.”

 “I don’t think anyone ever is, and if they tell you they are, they’re lying.”

 Bombur half-smiled as he pulled the skillet off the stove and started separating the food onto plates. “Sorry if I… I just wondered what was like, for you.”

 “It’s alright. Just remember that we’re all here for your family.”

 “Yeah, we know.”

 The evening spent with Dori and his friends, eating a good meal and playing video games assured Bombur that everyone was there for him. 

 ********

 Nori didn’t see Bofur for a full week. Bofur didn’t call him, come to play with the band, or seek out his attention otherwise. Nori didn’t want to push it, not knowing how angry his best friend was with him.  Bofur wasn’t a person who got angry, so Nori didn’t really know how to approach this.

 Still, one of them had to make the first move. Which was how he found himself knocking on the door of Bifur’s place Saturday afternoon.

 Bifur greeted him with a smile, which Nori took as a good sign. At least his careless comment hadn’t made the entire family upset with him.

 “Is… is Bofur here? Your mum said he was.”

 Bifur nodded, and leaned in close to whisper, “He’s not angry with you, not really.”

 “Funny way of showing he’s not,” Nori replied just as quietly.

 “I know you understand.” Bifur looked at him in a pointed way before gesturing with his head to come in.

 “Bif, I’m feeling Chinese for lunch, how about-“ Bofur stopped talking when Nori came into the living room, and his hands stopped carving at a piece of wood. “Oh… hi.”

 “Chinese, you said?” Bifur asked, picking up his phone from the kitchen table and dialing a number from a take-away menu on his fridge. “Nori?”

 “Oh, I wasn’t… I won’t be staying that long.” Nori kept his gaze on Bofur, trying to judge his friend’s reaction.

 “Nonsense. It’s no problem. What do you want?”

 “Um…” Nori felt awkward, not sure if he was welcome to stay. Bofur didn’t give him any clue one way or the other. He turned to Bifur instead. “Just an order of pork fried rice and chicken dumplings. Thanks.”

 Both younger men watched Bifur go out to the balcony to make the order. When Bifur slid the glass door closed behind him, they looked at each other.

 “I… I hope you don’t mind me staying for lunch?”

 Bofur shrugged. “It’s his place. I couldn’t kick you out if I wanted.” At Nori’s grimace, he quickly assured, “Which I don’t. I don’t.”

 “So… how are you? I mean…”

 “She’s in the hospice, all settled in.”

 Nori could only nod at that statement.

 “I’ve been to see her every day. We all have.”

 “Good, good…” The toe of Nori’s shoe nervously dug into the carpet. “About what I said-“

 “I’m sorry,” they both said in unison.

 Nori furrowed his brow, and Bofur put the in-progress carving and small knife down.

 Nori recovered first. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just… thinking about…”

 “I know,” Bofur sighed. “I shouldn’t have gone off on you like I did.”

 “I wasn’t trying to make it a contest.”

 “Of course you weren’t.” Bofur ran a hand through his hair. “It would be quite the fucked up thing to make a contest over.”

 “It was still wrong of me to say it.”

 “Maybe… I said some wrong things, too.” Bofur tilted his head. “You were thinking about how your parents… Only natural to. It’s bad either way. Knowing in advance or not at all until it happens.”

 “Yeah.”

 “Both ways hurt. I know that. How can… how can I not? Not with…” Bofur didn’t need to say the three names.

 “You and your family… you’ve been dealing with this for three years. I can’t imagine…”

 Bofur gave a sad little smile. “It’s just the way it is.”

 “Nothing more to be said, huh?”

 “Not really.”

 Nori took a hesitant step forward to the couch. “So… we’re okay?”

 Bofur patted the cushion beside him as invitation. When Nori took it, Bofur laid his head on his friend’s shoulder. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

 ********

  “Are you sure I won’t be intruding?” Nori asked as he and the Mattocks-Smith family walked down the hallway to Betsy’s room.

 “Nonsense, you’re as good as family,” Brian assured. “Besides, it might be good for people other than us to visit her.”

 “Let’s her know she’s well-loved,” Peg quietly added.

 “Evening, Ma!” Bombur greeted, the first one into his mother’s room.

 Betsy sat up in her bed. “Visiting time again already? Always nice to see my… my good boys, and… sister.”

 Nori hung back a bit as the rest of the family hugged Betsy. He was a little unsure how to feel about Betsy calling him one of her good boys as well. He wondered if it weren’t for her condition, if she would still call him that after all of his teenage rebel troublemaking.

 Bofur was the last to hug Betsy, and when he pulled back, she looked at him in confusion. “What is it, Ma?”

 “Something… different, I think.”

 “Oh!” Bofur took off the brown leather and grey fur hat. “We went to the mall today, and found this in that rustic shop.” He handed it to her so she could inspect it. “No idea why they’d sell something like this in summer, but they did. Dad put it on me as a joke, but-“

 “He saw himself with it in a mirror, and instantly fell in love,” Bombur finished.

 Betsy’s hand petted over the fur lining for a moment longer before she gave it back to her son. Her smile widened as he put it back on. “Suits you, silly boy.” Her gaze flickered between Bofur and Nori, an odd expression on her face. Then it cleared as she asked, “How is… band going?” She cocked her head. “What is it you play?”

 Bofur tried not to let the question get him down. Nori still noticed it, and answered, “I play the bass guitar, and Bofur does keyboard and drums.”

 “Ah, right. Getting better?”

 “Practice makes perfect,” Bofur replied.

 “I would hope so, since they sometimes practice in our garage,” Peg chuckled.

 “They’re working on an album and everything,” Brian said. “I’m proud of them.”

 “Always nice to have music in the house…” Betsy said, a slight forlorn tone in her voice. 

 “I saw a small piano here, in the common room,” Bifur said. “If you want sometime, I’m sure no one would mind if Bofur and I played for you there.”

 Betsy’s face lit up, and she took Peg’s hand. “That would be great.”

 “Too bad I doubt we do the type of music this place would approve of,” Nori muttered.

 Betsy let out a content sigh, and asked, “Everyone else, how are they?” 

 “Well, we’re hoping to get them to visit you sometimes,” Peg responded.

 “The more, the merrier, right?” Betsy nodded.

 “Aye, the more, the merrier,” Brian agreed, as the conversation continued.

 Nori discreetly grabbed Bofur’s hand and quickly squeezed it as a show of support. Bofur squeezed back before they let go, and focused on the rest of the family.

 ********

Bifur and Bofur’s voices blended together as they sang and their fingers flew across the piano keys. They had drawn a crowd, hospice workers and patients alike, with their music in the common area. Betsy wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the idea of some live music, whether the singing was English or Gaelic, the melody fast or slow.

 When a song that was obviously made for dancing along to started, Bombur took his mother’s hand and pulled her up to her feet. She didn’t remember the exact steps, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that she was smiling as their feet found a rhythm together.

 When the song came to an end, Bifur said to the audience, “We’ll take a little break,” before he and Bofur joined Bombur in hugging Betsy.

 “Your sons are quite talented,” one of the other patients said, referring to all three of the men.

 Betsy smiled against Bombur’s cheek, wrapped up in six arms. “Aye, they are. And they make me so happy.”


End file.
